Sour Grapes

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I’m in a mood today…

I really just want these exams to be over.  More so, I just really want to see the results of the hard work I’ve been putting in over the past 3 months.  I know that this is juvenile, but sometimes I get discouraged when I see other people’s results.  There are people on 3FC who started WW at the same time as me, and who have similar stats, and have consistently lost 3 or more lbs per week!  My body is just so uncooperative sometimes.  I just really wish I could start seeing a more consistent loss. I am happy to lose any weight, but it would be really nice to pick up the pace a bit.  I didn’t even get a big drop right at the beginning, like most people do.  My WW buddy has NEVER stayed within her points EVER. Not a single day since we started.  She yo-yos, but on the weeks where she does better, she’ll lose between 2-4 lbs! And, her high weight was 25 lbs less than mine.  I know I have to stop comparing myself to others. I am genuinely happy for others’ success, but I just wish that I could have a big loss to reflect the kind of effort I’ve been putting in.

I took some pictures of myself today to compare to a “before” picture.  I really didn’t see a difference.  I can’t believe that 11 lbs off my small frame doesn’t show.  My WW buddy says she thinks I look 20 lbs lighter, but I seriously can’t see it in the pictures at all.  I want to see tone! I want to see a smaller waist! I don’t want to see clothes looking tight! Grrr.  I’m not doing that again for a while.

I did my cardio party today.  My foot is hurting a bit, which is a drag, but I still made it through. I couldn’t believe how much I was sweating.  It’s actually kind of gross (and remarkable, because I don’t even sweat that much when I run.)

I’m thinking about checking out Chalene’s ball workout. It’s 2 dvds and a ball for $40.  I really need a new ball anyway, so it may just be worth it.  Has anyone tried this? Or any of the other Turbo Jam workouts? I’d love some input….

I just had vietnamese for dinner- vermicelli with chicken and vegetables. It was good, but now I feel like I overate. I’m still within my points for today, though…Everything else I ate was a “filling food”.

I was just on the 3FC forum reading about “Debbie Downers”.  You know, those people who always have a comment about your weight loss…”Oh, you’re on a diet AGAIN?”….”Oh, I’ve tried WW, it doesn’t work”….”Do you think you’re going to make it this time?”…..

I seriously can’t stand that shit.  It’s nobody’s business but my own if or how I choose to lose weight.  I don’t walk up to people and say things like, “oh, I see you’re doing something about your acne problem- do you think it will actually work this time?”.  Anyone who has ever had something that they’re insecure about should know how humiliating and incredibly rude that is.  I had someone call me “plump” to my face back in January, and then try to pass it off as a GOOD thing- like she was giving me a compliment! Um, maybe for some, not for me.  It’s not something I strive to be.  I was humiliated.  The thing is, I’ve been carrying around extra weight for so long now that people think this is just how I am.  They don’t realize that I’m actually a teeny tiny person underneath these 50 extra pounds. They don’t realize I’m built like my mom, who weighed 125 lbs when she was 8 months pregnant with me. When I told my friend that I was going to lose 62 lbs, she couldn’t believe it.  She thought I’d be under 100 lbs.  I guess it’s a good thing that I “carry my weight well”, whatever that means, but I don’t want to be the “plump” girl.  I want to be the lithe girl with the dancer’s body….that’s what I used to be, and that’s what I am underneath this.  I’m happy for people to notice, but I don’t need to be questioned about it.  People need to learn how to select the appropriate time and place for that kind of talk.

I have a classmate who is 5′10” and 130 lbs. She is the skinniest person I’ve ever seen. I would be surprised if she’s bigger than a size 0.  Anyway, she keeps sending me all these messages about how she’s so depressed because she’s gained 5 lbs since starting law school, and she REALLY needs to lose weight, etc etc.  Now, she is one of the few people who know that I’m actually actively trying to lose weight. It’s not something I advertise.  I wonder- what is it that she wants me to say?  I’ve told her that she could gain 20 more lbs and still not be overweight…I’ve told her that she’s still the skinniest person I know.  Her thighs don’t even touch! How “overweight” could she possibly be?!  I know that everyone has issues with their bodies, but pick your audience, people! Don’t act like losing 5 lbs (that don’t even need to be lost in the first place) makes you understand what I’m going through.   I actually need to lose weight for my health- this isn’t driven by some insane vanity thing. Honestly, you would laugh out loud if you could see how skinny this girl is…the whole thing is CRAZY.  I just need a break from all of this!

Sorry for the angry rant…It’s just been one of those days.  :S

I was out on my balcony today, watching people running their dogs in the nice weather.  I wish we were allowed dogs in our apartment- I’m desperate to get a westie!  As soon as I’m done law school and actually have time to train it, I’m getting one…Aren’t they SO CUTE?!

Westies bring me zen…I love them SO much.

I’ve been meaning to share another discovery with you- Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice Tea!  Or, Bengal Tiger Tea, as I like to call it…It’s spicy like Chai, but it’s naturally sweet. I’m telling you, you would SWEAR there was sugar in it, but there isn’t!  I think it’s the cinnamon…anyway, I love it, and I’m trying to switch it up from coffee every now and then…here’s a picture of the box:

It may be worth a try if you’re a tea person! BF is making me some right now… :)

Is it Saturday night already? Uugh.  The only good thing about this is SNL…

Back to work for me- hope you’re all enjoying your weekends!

Another reason to stay on plan…

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Big news! I just found out that I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding.  I know all the other bridesmaids, and they’re all skinny-minnies…I will NOT be the fat bridesmaid!  This is just another reason to stay focused on my goal and stick with the program. The wedding is in February 2010, so that leaves me approximately 11 months.  If I continue to lose at the rate I’ve lost at so far (approx 4-5 lbs per month) I could be down 50 lbs!  That is a delicious thought, and definitely one I’m excited to work towards.

Well, I’ve been doing okay this week with eating. We had a party on Friday night and I had some junk, but I had the points and I really wanted that brie, so I don’t feel guilty.  Other than that, I’ve been cooking at home and sticking to the filling foods as much as possible since that seemed to work last week.  Tonight I made the cocounut chicken curry from the WW cookbook and some Quinoa.  Not going to lie- it wasn’t my favourite.  I guess I’m just picky because I LOVE thai food and this tasted like watered-down diet food.  Disappointing.  In the future I may add some more curry paste and just add in the extra points.  It definitely has potential, but it needed a kick of something….

I also made some soup.  I really like making soup on the weekend so that I have something really easy and healthy to grab for lunch.  Lentil soup is one of the easier/less labour-intensive soups that I’ve created.  Here’s the recipe:

In a large pot, sautee 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped ginger (to taste- I use about 4 Tbsp), 1 diced onion, and a tsp of olive oil.

Add spices- I use coriander, cumin, turmeric, and chili powder.  I like spice, so i use about a Tbsp of each.

Add a can of diced tomatoes.  Add 2 more cans of water.

Throw in some extra veggies- i usually use carrots, but today I used celery and it works, too.

Add 1-1/2 - 2 cups red lentils.  Cover and simmer for approx 20 mins, or until lentils are done.

I’m not sure of how many servings it makes (a LOT!!) but it’s approximately 4 points per 1-1/2 cup serving. You can top it with a tablespoon of plain non-fat yogurt and fresh cilantro if you like.

In workout news, I have done my 30DS for the past 2 days after taking 2 days off.  I had pulled something in the back of my foot (I think it was the ‘mountain climbers’!) and also strained my thumbs on both hands (I’m guessing it was those plank leg-lifts).  I decided to take a time out until I healed.  Anyway, I’m back at it.

I received my Turbo Jam this week, so I decided to try out the “Learn and Burn” after my 30DS.  To be honest, I didn’t find it difficult compared to the other workouts I’ve done, but I did enjoy it.  I didn’t find Chalene to be as irritating as I thought she’d be, and I was able to pick up the moves very quickly. It’s definitely very dance-inspired.  It wasn’t until I woke up this morning that I really felt it!  My entire back was SO tense (in a good way), so I’m certainly convinced and looking forward to doing the full “Cardio Party” tomorrow.

I’m about to enter the most stressful time of the year for law students, so it’s more important than ever that I stick with this.  I can’t believe that I’ve been on WW for almost a full semester.  It really does just feel like a way of life now….

TGIF

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I’m having a VERY lazy Friday. I just can’t seem to get motivated to do anything.

Yesterday I started Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred.  I actually felt a bit sick after because I worked so hard!  I’m trying to psych myself up to do it again now…

This week, I’m trying to mix up my food a bit. I’m trying to eat mostly filling foods in hopes that I can jump-start my weight loss again. Yesterday I did quite well.  I had yogurt with blueberries and homemade granola for breakfast, pasta salad and carrots for lunch, tuna with melba toast and an apple for a snack, and homemade chicken fingers, potatoes, and broccoli for dinner.  Oh, and a fibre One bar for dessert.

Here’s the recipe for my WW chicken fingers: (1 serving =5-6 points)

1 chicken breast (4 points) - you can vary the amount of chicken depending on how many points you have

1 egg white (0 points)

1/3 cup cornflake crumbs or other low-fat bread crumbs (2 points) - I like the cornflake ones because they’re really crispy- you can add pepper to the mix if you like.

Cut the chicken into strips, dip in egg, coat in breadcrumbs, and bake at 350 for 20-25 mins. Makes 1 serving.

I also made WW french fries: (1 serving= 3 points)

1 medium potato (2 points)

1 tsp Olive Oil (1 tsp)

Cut potatoes into thin strips and place in a bowl.  Drizzle olive oil over potatoes, and toss to coat.  Sprinkle herbs and spices to taste (I use basil, oregano, chili pepper, black pepper)

Bake at 350 for 10-15 mins- turn potatoes- bake for another 10 mins or so. Makes 1 serving.

Voila! Dinner done. It’s also BF approved.  I like to whip this out when he whines about wanting Wendy’s.

I still feel really bad about my gain this week.  I can’t seem to pull myself out of my funk.  I just can’t shake this feeling of failure.  My WW buddy suggested that maybe I need to exercise more. I have a hard enough time finding time to do my 30 Day Shred! I have such a hectic lifestyle because of law school, and it’s always a struggle to find time in my day. I’m always so tired.  Sigh.  I don’t know what to do sometimes. :(

Still Alive!

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Hello All!

I’ve made it through day 4 of level 2, and I can still walk. Yay!

Does anyone else cringe a little when Jillian says “I want you to be gargling your heart” ??…GROSS!!

This workout is HARD- there are a lot of plank moves- good for the core, but brutal when you’re doing them!  I nearly died today during the plank-jacks.  I usually do pretty well with the cardio, but the 2nd circut cardio kills me. The jumping oblique twist and the skater lunges?!  Those will make you feel pretty unfit, pretty fast. I was sweating like nobody’s business by the end.

One more activity point and I’ll be on target for the week. Tuesdays are always a challenge because I have expecially long days- I always want to snack!  But, I generally bring WW-friendly snacks with me so that I’m not tempted to buy junky food. I figure it’s better to eat 3 apples instead of a croissant!

I’m making a modified recipe from the WW 20 minute cookbook: Spicy Mandarin Beef Stirfry. I was seduced by the picture- it looks SO delicious.  I’m changing it up a little bit- I’m using soy beef strips instead of regular beef (my BF doesn’t eat beef, so I have to get creative sometimes!)  I’m going to make some quinoa to go with it. Mmmm…dinner…I can’t wait!

Still Shredding…

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I can happily cross Day 5 and Day 6 off the calendar! Only 24 more to go.

I was too tired to update last night, but I did spend my requisite 27 minutes with Miss Jillian. It was the first time that I didn’t “feel like I’m going to die”, to use one of her favourite phrases. I’m actually amazed at how far I’ve come in only 6 days- if nothing else, the 30 Day Shred is improving my cardio endurance. It’s remarkable how tired I am doing these circuits- it’s only 2 minutes of cardio at a time, but by the end of the 2 minutes I’m ready to quit (but I don’t!!). Jillian swears by her 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs routine, and so far I’m buying what she’s selling. I can really feel it. I’m also feeling a bit more confident that I won’t end up in the ER when I move up to level 2, which is good news.

Side note on “All Things Jillian”: I was so dismayed that Biggest Loser was only an hour tonight…Yes, I know the 2nd hour is on tomorrow, but I’m impatient. Hey, at least I admit it! This is the first season that I’ve been really into it. I really am rooting for the brown team- I know I may be alone in this as a lot of people think Ron is holding Mike back, but I love Ron for trying and for caring so much about his son’s success. I really want him to succeed! I’m a sucker for dads showing emotion on reality tv…gets me every time! I also think Mike is amazing for working so hard. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up being one of the biggest losers when all is said and done. I also love Philipe and Sione, as well as Kristin…they work SO damn hard. It’s admirable. They may still be overweight, but they have become incredibly strong and are looking great. Overall, I really enjoy the fact that although it’s a contest, the participants this season are very supportive and congenial with each other. Can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow!

Tonight I tried a new recipe from the WW cookbook- Spiced Turkey Burgers. Delicious! And simple. Turkey, spices, yogurt, and mango chutney. I added some quinoa and steamed vegetables for a total of 7 points. Yum! This is NOT “diet food”, people!

Since I had some extra points, I had a Vitamuffin for dessert. If you haven’t heard of these, they’re little frozen muffins (find them in the freezer section, usually in the vicinity of the cool whip) that you can either defrost or microwave. They have about 7 grams of fibre, 1.5 grams of fat, and lots of other good stuff, and come in a variety of flavours. I had picked up the chocolate ones. I have to be honest- I wasn’t a huge fan. They’re only 1 or 2 points, but I doubt I’ll buy them again. But, I bought them because a friend of mine LOVES them, so maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just spoiled because my mom makes such delicious muffins (definitely NOT WW friendly!!)

Again, I ended up with 2 extra points today, plus the 4 I just got for my 30-Day Shred! I really have NOT been very hungry. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I hope this hasn’t negatively affected my loss this week, because I have generally lost more when I eat my activity points.

Tomorrow is the day of reckoning- last week I lost 0- this week, hopefully more than that!! Keep your fingers crossed for me :)

Musings on Weight Watchers

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Hi Again!

I’m happy to report that I’ve survived another day of the 30-Day Shred. Somehow in the past 24 hours I’ve managed to injure my tailbone. I have an old ballet injury from about 10 years ago that seems to be rearing its ugly head once more. It’s more irritating than anything else- basically I can’t comfortably sit. I’m hoping it’ll disappear by the time I wake up tomorrow! Unfortunately it has prevented me from doing my pilates, as there is a lot of sitting involved.

I made a delicious stir-fry tonight: Marinated teryaki tofu, frozen veggies, ginger, garlic, and some extra teryaki sauce, and a tsp of olive oil to get in my oil serving for WW. I served it over quinoa (my preferred alternative to brown rice- I try try try to like brown rice, but I just don’t! Quinoa is apparently the world’s most healthy grain, so that’s good news.)

I’m currently forcing myself to eat a larabar at 11:55pm, since I still have 6 points left for the day. It’s amazing how some days I feel like I could eat 50 points, and others I struggle to get through 25. It just goes to show that when you make healthy choices, you can be MUCH fuller on fewer calories. I almost always finish all my points- however, I have a big problem with forcing myself to eat until I’m sick. I’ve done it once before to finish all my points and literally ended up sick on the bathroom floor…not fun!

A few weeks ago, I was discouraged by a small loss (0.6 lbs). I spoke with my leader and she asked if I had been eating my activity points. I had not been, and she suggested that I could not be getting enough calories. This was a difficult idea for me to get my head around- How could eating more equal greater weight loss? I decided to give it a try. The next week I lost 2.4 lbs! I couldn’t believe it- my biggest loss to date. I also shared this tip with someone on 3FC who also had great results. So, if anyone out there is reading this, it may be worth a try!

I have several friends who have done WW with great success. They always have lots of great advice to give, too. However, it’s often conflicting- some say that they always lose the most when they eat their Flex Points and Activity Points, and others tell me that they don’t lose when they do. What is a WW newbie to think!? What I’ve figured out is that it’s different for everyone. I have a very sluggish metabolism, so it’s a fine balance. I’ve lost the most when I’ve eaten my Activity Points but NOT my Flex Points.

I did well at the movie last night- I only at half the popcorn (about 3 cups). I just can’t go to the movies without popcorn! I’m so glad that WW gets me :)

Day 3 of The 30-Day Shred

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Well…It’s not getting any easier! And that’s a good thing.  Jillian is kicking my ass into shape, and call me crazy, but I can already feel my body changing shape. It’s probably just that the muscle gain is making me stand up straighter, but I’ll take it.  I can’t wait to finish the 30 days and see if I lose any inches.  I honestly don’t know how I’m going to manage an increase in difficulty, though- It’ll be a serious challenge to my body!

I bailed on my Upper Body Pilates workout today.  My arms are SO sore from 30-Day Shred!  I am going out for dinner and a movie with my BF tonight, and so I’ll see how I feel when I get home.  I’m not going to lie- there were more than a few times that I did my workout at 1am during my last 30-Day Challenge.  Better to do it then than not at all!

I fear that I might gain weight this week, or stay the same. I’ve been reading a lot lately about how when you work out really hard, your muscles retain water to repair the tears that the exercise causes.  I am REALLY hoping to see a loss this week, since I stayed the same last week.  I had been on holiday, and the general consensus is that I should be happy that I didn’t gain.  I am happy about that, but when you’re paying for Weight Watchers and following the plan to a T, you want to be seeing results. I’m not really sure what went wrong, but oh well- fingers crossed for this week! My body likes to fight me every step of the way.

In other news, Last night I invented  a delicious pad thai recipe.  Here it is, in case anyone is interested:

- Cook 1 Package of Rice Noodles according to directions on package

- In a small bowl, combine 2 Tbsp Chunky Peanut Butter (all natural), 1/4 c. Ketchup, 1 Tbsp low-sodium Soy Sauce, and 1 Tbsp Lemon Juice

- In a large saucepan, sautee 2 Garlic Cloves, Fresh Ginger (to taste), 1 cup of low-sodium Chicken Broth, 1 cup of Shrimp, and 2 cups of Frozen Vegetables. When the broth cooks down, add 1/2 of the Peanut butter mixture to the pan and stir.  Then add the noodles and the rest of the Peanut Butter mixture.  Serve with lime wedges.

It worked out to be about 7 points per serving with this preparation.  I know the Ketchup sounds sketchy, but it’s often used in Pad Thai.  It was really good!  Definitely didn’t taste like diet food, and my BF approved, too.

I’m off to treat my poor abused body to dinner! Mmmm….Vietnamese…..