Day 2 of the battle…

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Good news!  I managed to get my act together enough to work out again today.  I did cardio AND abs. Yay me! The only bad news is that i’m paying for my months of lethargy- my body is KILLING me!! I can barely move! Oh well-at least it’s a good pain. C’est la vie. My Greece Bikini Body isn’t going to come easily, but I know I can do it. Can’t wait for that day!

A small victory…

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I finally got my act together and worked out! I just did 45 minutes of Turbo Jam cardio, plus the 20 minute ab workout. It was hard…not going to lie….I can really feel how much muscle I’ve lost during the time I stopped my workouts.  I always do this- why do I never learn? It’s like starting at square one again. At the very least, at least I didn’t gain ALL of the weight I lost back- only 8 lbs.  After my *almost* 3 lb loss last week, I now only have about 5 lbs to make up.  As some of you know, my body makes no sense. I will do everything right and lose nothing one week, then the next week I’ll eat pizza and lose.  Like last week, I ate sushi and movie popcorn the night before my weigh-in.  Usually I retain water like crazy when I eat salt. So I eat 2 of the saltiest foods known to man and have my biggest loss ever?  Riiigh…that makes perfect sense.

I find that getting mentally ready to do the first workout after a break is the hardest part. Once I get back into it, it becomes just a part of my day. I hope that’s the case this time.

I recently read that people who weigh themselves every day are more successful in keeping weight off. I used to be 100% against this, because I think it makes some people (like my WW buddy) obsessed.  If she gained, she would FREAK out and work out 2x that day. If she lost, she would binge on junk.  Anyway, I recently downloaded an app to my iphone called “Lose it!”.  It’s free, and you can use it to input all your food, exercise, and goals. Since I count points, I don’t use the food/exercise function, but you can use the goal section to record your weight daily.  It’s just been a good way for me to keep focused. I’ve been weighing myself every morning as soon as I wake up. I have a feeling after my big loss last week, I probably won’t lose anything this week. But it does keep me trying!

I’ve been thinking about my goals (mentioned in my last post).  I really desperately want to reach my goal before I move home, because I want my current leader to be here when it happens.  To do that, I would have to lose 6.2 lbs per month. I know that’s not really all that realistic for me, since I lose pretty slowly. But, I’m really going to try my very hardest. My leader has been such a huge inspiration and support for me, I just really want her to be the one to present me with my keychain, or whatever it is you get when you reach goal.  If I can achieve that goal, I can meet my other 3 goals, too.  At that rate, I could be down to about 140 lbs by my cousin’s wedding.  I can’t even imagine it!!  6.2 lbs a month isn’t too outrageous, but it will mean a lot of hard work. I’m up for the challenge. 3.4 lbs to go this month.  Wish me luck!

Week 1 Weigh-In

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I’m confusing myself by starting over at week one again… :S

Today’s weigh in was a success. I lost 2.8 lbs, which is the biggest loss I’ve ever had in a week!  Current weight is 175.

Today’s meeting was about eating out.  We talked about different restaurants that people like to go to, and tactics for maintaining control.  I’ve been trying really hard not to eat out lately, since I’m more successful on the program when I make my own food. The bottom line is that you never know what is in your food when you eat in a restaurant, and it’s just not worth it to me most of the time.

I’ve been really delinquent with exercise this week. I didn’t work out at ALL, so I’m quite surprised that I lost as much as I did. I haven’t been feeling 100%…very tired and headachy. I rarely ever get headaches, so I haven’t been dealing very well.  Usually I am most successful on the program when do approximately 6 exercise points per day, and eat about half of those points.  My goal for this week is to get back into my workout program. I’m still sticking with Turbo Jam, because I find that it’s the program that gives me the best results.

So, my loss to date is back up to 12 lbs.  5 more lbs and I’ll be back where I was before (170 lbs).  29 lbs to lose until I’m at a healthy weight, and 50 lbs to my goal.

Checking in…

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It’s been a while… I have some bad news. I’m almost definitely back up to 173. I don’t know how I keep yo-yoing so much! Every time I have a victory (like getting under 170) it’s followed by another roadblock.  Actually, that’s a lie about not knowing why I’ve been yo-yoing. I haven’t been working out, I’ve been overworked, and my eating hasn’t been the best (although I have been trying).  I need to get re-focused. I feel fat and jiggly all over.  I have also missed my last 2 meetings because I’ve been out of town and believe it or not, there are no other meetings that I can make it to with my schedule the way it’s been lately.  BUT, I am going to face the music on Saturday morning, and I’m sure it’s going to be UGLY.  I actually got on my scale this week and was up to 176. YIKES!! How is it possible for me to gain 6 lbs in a week?!

I need a plan. I need to get re-focused.

I need to remember the reasons why I’m doing this. Let’s review:

1) I am 25. I’m too young to feel bad about my appearance. These are supposed to be the best years of my life!!

2) I have a great life. I have a great career, a great family and a great boyfriend who loves me no matter what I look like.  The only thing that’s holding me back is how I feel about myself.

3) I want to be able to fit into my old clothes and purge my current wardrobe and buy cute new clothes to fit my cute new body!

4) I feel better when I exercise and eat right- I like how i feel when food isn’t running my life.

5) Diabetes runs in my family. I don’t want it.

6) I want to be able to enjoy a weekend at the cottage and not worry about looking fat in pictures.

and a new one….

7) My mom is taking me to Greece next year, and I want to be able to wear a bikini in Santorini!

It’s time for me to get back into an exercise program, too….Turbo Jam, here I come!

Thanks for stopping by :)

Weigh-In, Week 24

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Woo hoo!! I am FINALLY below 170!!

Weigh-in today was 169.8.  That means only 0.8 until I reach my 10% goal! I can’t believe how long this has taken. If I was at home I would have reached this goal a long time ago.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I was up again next week, since that seems to be the trend, but we’ll see. I’m trying to stay positive.

They were giving out the chocolate chip brownie bars at the meeting.  I’m just eating mine now, and I have to say- not worth the 2 points, in my opinion.  blech.

I’ve done okay with my eating this week. I’ve been very good at breakfast and lunch, and I had subway a few times this week.  I never used to eat subway more than once a week because of the sodium in the turkey. It used to really affect me. But, it seems that my body is adjusting.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, it seems.

I have several dinners out this week, so I’m not all that hopeful about losing again, but I’ll just continue to do my best.  I’m feeling very good about getting under 170, even though it’s only 0.2 under! :)  My total loss is 17.2 lbs, which means I have 44.8 to go.  Hopefully I can reach it by graduation in May 2010!

Weigh-In, Week 22 and 23

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After such an exciting loss on week 21, I was back up to 173 on Week 22. :(

Boo.  I’m just yo-yoing. It’s so frustrating. I lose and then gain the same 2-3 lbs over and over and over again.  I know I’m doing the best I can do, considering my circumstances, but still…I just really want to be under 170.

Last friday was my 25th birthday. I had a goal to be down 25 lbs by that date and I am only down 15.  Oh well. I guess 15 is better than 0.  Unfortunately I have been very ill since my birthday and am actually home sick from work today. I don’t have much of an appetite but am feeling like maybe I could eat something now.  I missed my meeting on Saturday because I was out of town, but will definitely be going this week.  I just stepped on my scale and I’m down to 170.2- so close!  Then again it’s 2pm and I have’t eaten anything yet today, so I don’t know that it’s the most accurate number.  I just SO desperately need to reach a goal or do something to get myself motivated again.  I agree with Tracy’s comment on my last post- I wish I could just pick up a box of motivation at the store!

blah again…

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:(

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, but it’s just not happening.  Again, I feel like I’m really doing the best I can. I’m really good at breakfast and lunch, and I try my best at dinner, but without being able to measure things, I know I’m not losing.  Again.  GRR!! This is so frustrating. If I had continued at the rate I was going at before, I would be down another 10 lbs by now.  This is ridiculous.

Just had vietnamese for dinner. I haven’t had it since I’ve been home, and I’m trying to mix up my food a bit in an effort to get the weight coming off again. This lack of progress is really discouraging to me and it’s making my motivation dwindle…What I really want right now is a giant brownie.

Weigh-In, Week 20

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WTF.  I gained 2 lbs.  I have NEVER gained more than 0.8 in a week, and I wrote that off as salt bloat.  2 lbs?! I’m back up to 173. I feel like getting into the 160s is an impossible task. I’ve been yo-yoing between 173 and 171 for the past 7 weeks. I feel like I’ve been wasting time, but I know that I need to be cooking my own food to be successful.  What can I do apart from eating at subway every night? I do fine with breakfast and lunch, but I can’t control dinner. It’s basically impossiblet to know what’s going into your food when you eat in a restaurant.  I feel helpless. No matter how specific I am with my instructions for preparation, it seems that I can’t ever get exactly what I want.  I am SO disappointed. :(

Mid-Week 20

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Uugh.  I miss my kitchen!!!!!

I’m SO BORED of eating oatmeal for breakfast, tuna and soup for lunch….I miss when I used to make my meals at home and eat all sorts of different things.  I think it helps my weight loss to eat a variety of foods, too. I just don’t know what to do sometimes!  I always end up blowing it at dinner since I can’t measure my food, and often I have no control over the menu.  I know I’m constantly whining about this, but GRR!! It’s SO frustrating, especially because I was really in a groove when I moved home.

I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like working out. I just want to lay in bed and watch tv. I’m just feeling SO lazy.  I stepped on the scale and I was at 173 lbs.  I have a feeling I’m not going to lose this week since I have 2 more days until my weigh-in.  BF is at work late again and I’m starving. I think I might just go ahead and eat without him.

I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin all this week. I feel like my clothes don’t fit me (how is this possible when I’m wearing the same clothes and I’m 15 lbs lighter?!), I feel flabby..i hate it.  Also, a girl I work with got SUPER offended when someone estimated that she weighed 150 lbs.  She went CRAZY- it was as if someone thought she weighed 500 lbs! I was like, well, great, I wonder how horrified she’d be if she heard that I weigh 170.  (Also, for the record, this girl isn’t all that skinny- she probably weighs close to 150, if not more…)

I’m also super bummed because my cousin is talking about eloping now, and I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding…and I was REALLY excited about it. :(  It was my goal to be down 40 lbs (147lbs) by her wedding.  I mean, I guess I can still aim for that date, but it’s disappointing.

If anyone has any great words of inspiration, I’d love to hear them.  I’m losing steam.

Weigh Ins, Week 18 and 19

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Hi everyone,

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately! Work and life has been nuts…I had a bad week last week and gained 0.8- my biggest gain to date.  I blame it on weighing in at the end of the day. I think you get a very skewed number by doing that, and for someone who generally loses a little bit each week, it can be very discouraging.  Anyway, I was really turned off by the lady who weighed me in- she was pretty harsh when she told me I had gained, and wasn’t encouraging at all like my old leader was. I was also so bored at the meeting that I got up and left before it was over.  I called my ww buddy who informed me that she hadn’t been to a meeting in 2 weeks becaus she hasn’t been doing well and she “feels bad about herself” when she goes.  This is frustrating to me because I can’t be there to hold her hand through this, but she complains about how she wants to do well and doesn’t put in any effort at all.  To top it all off, she won’t even go and face the music after a week of bingeing.  I can’t force her to go, but it’s really disappointing to me.

On to the better news- I found a Saturday morning meeting near my place, so I’ve switched my Weigh-in day to Saturday.  I liked the group better, and I’m happy to be able to weigh in in the morning.  AND, I lost 1.6 this week! I’m down to 171 lbs and my total loss is 16 lbs.  I’m proud of myself for losing anything considering the circumstances of my life right now.  2 more lbs to my 10%!!

Would love to hear how everyone else is doing.  I am really trying to get re-focused because I really want to have a decent loss by the time I go back to school.  I don’t want to throw my summer away!  I just need to remember the reasons I’m doing this in the first place. I’m going to read over my blog today so that I remember just how far I’ve come.  Yesterday I picked up a 10 lb weight and a 5 lb weight- I can’t imagine how tired I’d be if I had to carry those around all day!  That put it into perspective for me that 16 lbs is great progress.  My goal for this week is to get in a workout every weekday. I did turbo jam a few times this week, but not as often as I’d like.  I have been doing really well with my food at work- I’ve been getting accustomed to my schedule and I’m not starving anymore.  I still miss my kitchen, though… Thankfully there’s a Subway right across the street from me- I think that it will be my saving grace!

Have a great week!

Update: I just went out for a super long mall-walk with BF…bought 2 cardigans for work and some Dr. Brant Microdermabrasion face scrub from Sephora.  I LOVE this stuff!!  It’s so expensive, but I figure I deserve a treat for hitting 15 lbs :)

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