Same Sh!%, Different Day

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I am the yoyo QUEEN. Cannot believe i’m basically back to where I started. Uugh.

Stepped on the scale just now and am at 179.8.  Better than yesterday, although it is after noon and I haven’t eaten yet.

Took a rest day yesterday and my hips feel 100% again. I’m going again today with one of my running buddies and we’ll probably do 4k. Haven’t managed to get my butt in gear to do pilates yet, but maybe today will be the day…

I just found out that I’m going to be a bridesmaid AGAIN! Operation: Don’t Be The Fat Bridesmaid is in full-swing once more (it was unsuccessful for the last wedding). There isn’t a date yet, but it will likely be before Christmas. I MUST be in the 160s before this wedding happens.

Pushing through

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Did my 3rd run yesterday and my hip actually wasn’t killing me this time. I think it was just muscle tightness. My run was pretty pathetic- I only ran about 1/2 the time (or maybe less…). I’m guessing the fact that I didn’t eat before going didn’t help matters either. I was in a rush and wanted to get a run in before I had to get on with my day. Won’t make that mistake again!

I’m hoping to get a pilates session in today. I think it would really help with my endurance. It will also help me tone up and get into the dress I want to wear for my grad in a month and a half.

Hip Pain, day 2

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Well, I did it. I ran again. 10 minute run, 1 minute walk. X3. Then a 5 min cool down. I did have to do a power walk about 1/2 way thorough my 3rd set because my hip was KILLING me, but at least I finished it.  I weighed in at 180.6 today (what the hell..HOW did I let myself get here again!?)

One step in the right direction…

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Well, I finally got up off my ass and did something. I got myself a running buddy (2 different ones, actually) and I went for a 30 minute run/walk (but mostly run) yesterday. Dear GOD my hips are killing me. I mapped it out on map-my-run, and I think we did just over 4k.  Today the plan is run 10 mins, walk 1 x 3, and then another 5 min run.  I hope I can make it without collapsing.

I am still disappointed in myself for letting my weight get away from me again….but all i can do is take it one day at a time. I’d like to be in the 160s by the time I graduate. I’ve been trying to get there for over a year, and every time I get close, something happens to throw me off.  Sigh. I don’t know if it’s realistic to expect to lose over 10 lbs in 7 weeks, but that’s what I’m going to try to do.

I’ve also not been going to WW….I can’t really afford it anymore and I feel embarrassed to go back. Sigh.

*hangs head in shame*

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It’s been so long since I’ve updated this…I’ve been doing really poorly and frankly i’ve been ashamed to document my failures. I’ve been struggling with depression and general unhappiness with my circumstances, as well as some new health issues, all of which has had a pretty negative effect on my weight loss. I’ve gained 10 lbs. I’m back up to 180 (I swore I’d never be there again), and I’m feeling pretty bad.

I want to start running again but keep getting conflicting information from my health care professionals (because of my back surgery). I’ve decided that I’m going to do it anyway. It’s my body, and I’m tired of feeling bad about myself. I’m shooting for 5 runs this week. I’d appreciate any words of wisdom as I struggle to get started YET again….