Me v. Scale (2009)

Posted by primaballerina on March 30th, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weight Watchers |

The lawyer in me thinks of my weight as an epic court battle that has been raging for the past 12 years… So many adjournments, a few victories, a lot of losses (and not the good kind!).  The good thing about weight loss is it’s kind of like filing for spousal support. No matter what the judge says, you can always go back and fight for more.  No order is ever final. No matter how many times I fail, I have ultimately kept my goal in the back of my mind and found my way back to trying to lose weight. This time, however, I’m committed.  I can’t believe that I’ve been on WW for almost 3 months, and I KNOW this time that this is a lifestyle that I can maintain. It’s a pretty major sense of power.  I know when I learned to run, I felt like I could literally do anything.  I’m sure that when I reach my goal it will be the same feeling.

I used to think that losing weight would solve all my problems.  Over the past few years, my life has changed considerably for the better.  I’m a year away from finishing law school, I have a great boyfriend who I live with in a great condo, I have a car, and a great family.  I can see where my life will be in 5 years, and I like where it’s going.  I realized that losing weight never would have solved the problems I had before anyway.  I am just excited to be doing this for myself, and nobody else.

I decided that I wasn’t going to tell my family about doing WW.  Of course my boyfriend knows (since we live together) but I have kept it fairly hush-hush for a few reasons.  First, I hate to be asked how I did at my Weigh In.  If it’s good news, I will share it. If not, I don’t want to talk about it! I’m my harshest critic. Second, I have a fantasy about surprising my family when I go home to visit.  I think about the look on my mom’s face when she sees me 30 lbs lighter, 50 lbs lighter, and ultimately 62 lbs lighter.  I can’t wait for that time.  I also can’t wait to see my friends from home! They’ve never known me as thin as I’m going to be when I’m done.  How exciting :)

Another little note for all the obsessive scale-users out there.  I weighed myself again last night after my big thai dinner, and I was up to 178.4.  This morning I was down to 176.4.  The only thing I did in between those weigh-ins is sleep.  Evil Scale!!  I only trust my WW scale :)  But- my point is, I’m going to try not to freak out next time I see a small loss or a gain on the scale, because it just goes to show how much your weight can fluctuate in a day.

Happy Monday, everyone (if that’s possible…)


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