Me v. Scale (2009)

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The lawyer in me thinks of my weight as an epic court battle that has been raging for the past 12 years… So many adjournments, a few victories, a lot of losses (and not the good kind!).  The good thing about weight loss is it’s kind of like filing for spousal support. No matter what the judge says, you can always go back and fight for more.  No order is ever final. No matter how many times I fail, I have ultimately kept my goal in the back of my mind and found my way back to trying to lose weight. This time, however, I’m committed.  I can’t believe that I’ve been on WW for almost 3 months, and I KNOW this time that this is a lifestyle that I can maintain. It’s a pretty major sense of power.  I know when I learned to run, I felt like I could literally do anything.  I’m sure that when I reach my goal it will be the same feeling.

I used to think that losing weight would solve all my problems.  Over the past few years, my life has changed considerably for the better.  I’m a year away from finishing law school, I have a great boyfriend who I live with in a great condo, I have a car, and a great family.  I can see where my life will be in 5 years, and I like where it’s going.  I realized that losing weight never would have solved the problems I had before anyway.  I am just excited to be doing this for myself, and nobody else.

I decided that I wasn’t going to tell my family about doing WW.  Of course my boyfriend knows (since we live together) but I have kept it fairly hush-hush for a few reasons.  First, I hate to be asked how I did at my Weigh In.  If it’s good news, I will share it. If not, I don’t want to talk about it! I’m my harshest critic. Second, I have a fantasy about surprising my family when I go home to visit.  I think about the look on my mom’s face when she sees me 30 lbs lighter, 50 lbs lighter, and ultimately 62 lbs lighter.  I can’t wait for that time.  I also can’t wait to see my friends from home! They’ve never known me as thin as I’m going to be when I’m done.  How exciting :)

Another little note for all the obsessive scale-users out there.  I weighed myself again last night after my big thai dinner, and I was up to 178.4.  This morning I was down to 176.4.  The only thing I did in between those weigh-ins is sleep.  Evil Scale!!  I only trust my WW scale :)  But- my point is, I’m going to try not to freak out next time I see a small loss or a gain on the scale, because it just goes to show how much your weight can fluctuate in a day.

Happy Monday, everyone (if that’s possible…)

7 point workout!

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I’ve reached a new personal best today…a 7 Activity Point workout!

Today I did day 7 of level 3 of the 30DS and then the 20 minute Turbo Jam Workout.  50 minutes of high-intensity = 7 APs! Wowza.  Good times, because I needed to make up for a couple extra points and the 2 days I took off last week.  Realistically, a 50 minute workout is not always going to be possible for me, but I figure that on the days that I feel like I can do it, I should just do it…that way it makes up for the days when I just can’t get it together.

Anyway, the 20 minute Turbo Jam, though only 5 minutes longer than the Learn and Burn, is considerably more difficult.  I am a dancer, and I was even having a hard time keeping up!  But I did find it to be a good workout.  I thought I’d find Chalene to be super irriating, but she’s alright. It’s the other cast members that are annoying!!  Call me cynical, but NOBODY loves working out so much that they have a Joker-esque grin plastered on their faces the entire time!!  Give me a break.

I decided to weigh myself today, just to see where I’m at. I NEVER weigh myself at home because I think it gives you a false sense of security if you’re down, or creates havoc if you’re up.  My WW buddy claims that she can lose over a lb in the course of a workout, so I was curious.  So, right after my workout, my scale read 176, which is 2.2 down from my last weigh in.  I’m not banking on this being my official WI result, but it made me feel good nonetheless.

We’re ordering in thai food tonight.  I have really been craving it lately. I tried to pacify it with my own WW thai curry, but as I mentioned yesterday, it wasn’t all that great.  We have a friend coming over tonight, so at least there won’t be tempting leftovers!  Everything in moderation….

In other exciting news, I’m currently wearing a pair of jeans that I haven’t been able to get into comfortably in 4 months! And, they’re not cutting off the bloodflow to my brain.  Yay :)

**Update**

Next time I want to gorge on thai food, someone please remind me that my new eating habits do not allow for such behaviour. To be fair, I didn’t binge, but I did have a little more than I should have and now I feel a little bit ill.  I think I probably ate near 25 points in that dinner, and I had 21 put aside for it.  Worth it? At the time, yes….now I’m afraid I may have ruined my week!  That would NOT be worth it.  My mouth feels dry, which means there was a lot of salt in the food…I hope I’m not still retaining water by Wednesday :S

The only good thing is that I know how much I used to eat, and I did NOT eat nearly that much….My judgment and control has improved a lot.  Let’s focus on the positive.

Another reason to stay on plan…

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Big news! I just found out that I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding.  I know all the other bridesmaids, and they’re all skinny-minnies…I will NOT be the fat bridesmaid!  This is just another reason to stay focused on my goal and stick with the program. The wedding is in February 2010, so that leaves me approximately 11 months.  If I continue to lose at the rate I’ve lost at so far (approx 4-5 lbs per month) I could be down 50 lbs!  That is a delicious thought, and definitely one I’m excited to work towards.

Well, I’ve been doing okay this week with eating. We had a party on Friday night and I had some junk, but I had the points and I really wanted that brie, so I don’t feel guilty.  Other than that, I’ve been cooking at home and sticking to the filling foods as much as possible since that seemed to work last week.  Tonight I made the cocounut chicken curry from the WW cookbook and some Quinoa.  Not going to lie- it wasn’t my favourite.  I guess I’m just picky because I LOVE thai food and this tasted like watered-down diet food.  Disappointing.  In the future I may add some more curry paste and just add in the extra points.  It definitely has potential, but it needed a kick of something….

I also made some soup.  I really like making soup on the weekend so that I have something really easy and healthy to grab for lunch.  Lentil soup is one of the easier/less labour-intensive soups that I’ve created.  Here’s the recipe:

In a large pot, sautee 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped ginger (to taste- I use about 4 Tbsp), 1 diced onion, and a tsp of olive oil.

Add spices- I use coriander, cumin, turmeric, and chili powder.  I like spice, so i use about a Tbsp of each.

Add a can of diced tomatoes.  Add 2 more cans of water.

Throw in some extra veggies- i usually use carrots, but today I used celery and it works, too.

Add 1-1/2 - 2 cups red lentils.  Cover and simmer for approx 20 mins, or until lentils are done.

I’m not sure of how many servings it makes (a LOT!!) but it’s approximately 4 points per 1-1/2 cup serving. You can top it with a tablespoon of plain non-fat yogurt and fresh cilantro if you like.

In workout news, I have done my 30DS for the past 2 days after taking 2 days off.  I had pulled something in the back of my foot (I think it was the ‘mountain climbers’!) and also strained my thumbs on both hands (I’m guessing it was those plank leg-lifts).  I decided to take a time out until I healed.  Anyway, I’m back at it.

I received my Turbo Jam this week, so I decided to try out the “Learn and Burn” after my 30DS.  To be honest, I didn’t find it difficult compared to the other workouts I’ve done, but I did enjoy it.  I didn’t find Chalene to be as irritating as I thought she’d be, and I was able to pick up the moves very quickly. It’s definitely very dance-inspired.  It wasn’t until I woke up this morning that I really felt it!  My entire back was SO tense (in a good way), so I’m certainly convinced and looking forward to doing the full “Cardio Party” tomorrow.

I’m about to enter the most stressful time of the year for law students, so it’s more important than ever that I stick with this.  I can’t believe that I’ve been on WW for almost a full semester.  It really does just feel like a way of life now….

Week 11 Weigh-In

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Well, I’m still at it…

I only worked out 4 times this week.  It was mostly due to fatigue, but I’m sure that the 24-7 pity-party I have been throwing for myself hasn’t help much either.

BUT…I ate really, really well- stuck mostly to filling foods wherever possible and avoided restaurants as much as I could.

To make a long story short, I did fairly well this week and ended up losing 1.6 lbs.  It’s very weird to me, because my habits really haven’t changed at all- I never go over my points and I always exercise, with the odd rest day here and there.

Anyway, after the hellish week I had last week (when I gained .4 lbs), dropping 1.6 is a pretty satisfying feeling.  That puts me at 8.8 lbs lost total, and only 0.2 away from hitting my 5% and 1.2 away from 10 lbs. 0.2!!!  I feel like the ladies on the biggest loser who have been fighting to hit 100 lbs for the past few weeks.

I have been lax about updating my blog and working out this week, but I am really going to try to do better. I’m not sure what’s been wrong with me this past week (apart from being extremely disappointed and confused after gaining last week) but I’m doing my best to snap out of it.  Last night I did my 4th day of level 3 of the 30 Day Shred.  It wasn’t quite as brutal as it was the first few times, but it’s definitely an excellent workout.  To be fair, there were a few times in the level 3 circuits where I had to do the beginners version, or even stop for 3 seconds to catch my breath, but I did make it all the way through this time.   Those jump lunges KILL me!  I’m actually amazed at how much stronger my body has become, though.  As I believe I mentioned previously, I had spinal surgery in August, and as a result I basically had to start at square 1 with fitness. My poor body was traumatized and I had zero core strength.  I realized how far I had come when I could do a whole set of straight-leg sit ups- this is an amazing accomplishment for me!  I think all of Jillian’s plank moves have done me a lot of good.  In fact, I think that I have felt the biggest change in my body since I started doing level 3.  Not always fun, but definitely worth it.

I’d like to take a moment to sing the praises of my WW leader. She adorable- she’s probably in her 60s, always dressed impeccably in cute outfits and high heels.  You can tell that she really loves dressing up her post- WW body. Anyway, I love her because she is so sweet and encouraging. She knows about my struggles.  So, today, when I went up to her scale, she asked how I did this week.  I told her I did well, and she told me she was really proud of me for continuing to do everything right and continuing to come to the meetings, and that no matter what happened on the scale, I should be proud.  I can’t recommend the meetings enough to anyone who might be considering joining.  Best money I’ve ever spent.

My turbo jam is en-route in the mail. I will be testing it out and posting my thoughts as soon as I’m done with Jillian!  My WW buddy thinks turbo jam is the best workout ever- I will be the judge of that :)

I’m leaving you with my favourite quote from my WW leader.  She busts it out whenever someone gets frustrated and wants to quit WW….

“What’s the alternative?”

It’s what got me through this past week when I felt really hopeless.  I hope you all will think about it in times of temptation and desperation, too :)

TGIF

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I’m having a VERY lazy Friday. I just can’t seem to get motivated to do anything.

Yesterday I started Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred.  I actually felt a bit sick after because I worked so hard!  I’m trying to psych myself up to do it again now…

This week, I’m trying to mix up my food a bit. I’m trying to eat mostly filling foods in hopes that I can jump-start my weight loss again. Yesterday I did quite well.  I had yogurt with blueberries and homemade granola for breakfast, pasta salad and carrots for lunch, tuna with melba toast and an apple for a snack, and homemade chicken fingers, potatoes, and broccoli for dinner.  Oh, and a fibre One bar for dessert.

Here’s the recipe for my WW chicken fingers: (1 serving =5-6 points)

1 chicken breast (4 points) - you can vary the amount of chicken depending on how many points you have

1 egg white (0 points)

1/3 cup cornflake crumbs or other low-fat bread crumbs (2 points) - I like the cornflake ones because they’re really crispy- you can add pepper to the mix if you like.

Cut the chicken into strips, dip in egg, coat in breadcrumbs, and bake at 350 for 20-25 mins. Makes 1 serving.

I also made WW french fries: (1 serving= 3 points)

1 medium potato (2 points)

1 tsp Olive Oil (1 tsp)

Cut potatoes into thin strips and place in a bowl.  Drizzle olive oil over potatoes, and toss to coat.  Sprinkle herbs and spices to taste (I use basil, oregano, chili pepper, black pepper)

Bake at 350 for 10-15 mins- turn potatoes- bake for another 10 mins or so. Makes 1 serving.

Voila! Dinner done. It’s also BF approved.  I like to whip this out when he whines about wanting Wendy’s.

I still feel really bad about my gain this week.  I can’t seem to pull myself out of my funk.  I just can’t shake this feeling of failure.  My WW buddy suggested that maybe I need to exercise more. I have a hard enough time finding time to do my 30 Day Shred! I have such a hectic lifestyle because of law school, and it’s always a struggle to find time in my day. I’m always so tired.  Sigh.  I don’t know what to do sometimes. :(

This SUCKS

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Well, it’s not been a good couple of days, ladies…

First, I finished my 10 days of Level 2 of the 30 Day Shred on Tuesday night.  I was super excited to take my measurements….I have only lost 0.1 inches OVERALL.  What the hell??

Then, at my weigh-in on Wednesday morning, I GAINED 0.4.  I know it’s not a lot, but it puts me that much further from my goal, and since I always stay within my points, it was really frustrating.

I’m just so pissed. I’m not doing anything differently- I really thought I had figured out what works for my body, but apparently it’s going to fight me tooth and nail the entire way.  I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people, either, but frankly, it just REALLY pisses me off that I have only lost 7 lbs since starting the program 2 months ago.  This is RIDICULOUS!!  There are people in my meeting that are the same size as me who lose that much in a week!

My WW buddy is trying to talk me down from my ledge.  I appreciate her efforts, but I just feel like nobody can say anything to make me feel better at this point. Even more aggravating is that I’ve been working out like crazy since I started, and I’ve only lost 1/2 an inch from my waist. I’m wearing pants that were tight when I started, and they’re STILL tight. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, and I actually feel like i’m getting fatter and more flabby this week.

Anyway, I’m having a major pity party this week. I feel like absolute shit.  I made some pasta salad from the week 1 book last night, and I’m going to do my best to eat ONLY filling foods this week. Maybe I just need a kick-start.  If I don’t lose this week, I will be devastated.  The last couple times this has happened I’ve gotten over it by Thursday, but this week, I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what else to do.

I guess I’m just going to have to accept that this is going to take me a VERY long time….My leader gave me the “what’s the alternative?” pep talk at the meeting…I am just having a really hard time accepting that it could take me 5 years (or more!) to get to my goal.

I feel like such a cow today, and I’ve pretty much given up hope that I’ll reach my goal of 25 lbs by my birthday, as I am now 3 lbs behind. Yesterday my WW buddy and I went shopping and tried on bikinis for fun.  She looked amazing- even the sales girl told her that she has a perfectly flat stomach.  I looked like complete crap- cellulite, stretch marks, bulging everywhere.  SO depressing. I can’t even conceive of a time when I’ll be able to confidently wear a bikini in public.

I ordered the Turbo Jam workout dvds today- they really worked for my WW buddy and at this point I’m willing to try anything. I just really don’t want to feel fat anymore :(

So, as it stands, I’m 1.8 lbs away from my 5%, which i feel like I’ve been working towards FOREVER, 2.8 lbs away from my 10 lb goal, and 55 lbs away from my ultimate goal.  Uugh.

Blah…Sunday…

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I always hate Sundays…I think it’s the impending sense of doom for the coming week.

Anyway, it was a decent weekend.  I managed to stay within my points every day (!!) and was even able to fit in some treats and dinners out. I like WW because I don’t have to feel like a freak on a diet (i.e. the person who only eats a salad in a restaurant).

Friday night I was able to dodge the restaurant bullet and have Subway- always a safe option.  Last night we had dinner at a steak house.  I had a small steak for 5 points (yay set points!) and a baked potato with sour cream and chives for about 5 points (an estimate, but the best I could do under the circumstances).   I wanted some asparagus, so I asked the waiter how it was prepared.  He said it’s roasted with oil and topped with parmasean.  While that sounds incredibly delicious, I didn’t want to waste the points, so I asked if I could just have it steamed.  Get this- THEY WOULDN’T DO IT!!  I was shocked and appalled.  I told the waiter to forget it and just had my steak and potato.  Not  the most balanced meal, but what can you do?  All in all, the meal was a huge disappointment- I definitely won’t be going back there again! Oh well, at least I didn’t waste a lot of points on it.

Tonight we’re having homemade Indian again…one of my faves. Indian gets a bad rap for being super fatty, but it can be very healthy, too! The problem is that in restaurants, Indian cooks use TONS of ghee (clarified butter) and cream to make everything taste good.  What we’ve discovered is that a bit of olive oil, yogurt, and a couple tablespoons of light cream where necessary get the job done and taste just as good.  And, as I think I mentioned before, I’ve started using whole wheat pita instead on naan bread, which saves 3 points.

Just finished my 30DS- Level 2, Day 8. 2 more days until level 3…shudder!  I am soooo tired…. I’m going to be up late tonight prepping for a 3 hour presentation I have tomorrow.  I’m hoping the post-exercise energy will kick in soon!

Weekend Challenge

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Hi All!

It’s the weekend, and once again we have visitors from out of town- so that means more dinners out and more temptation!

Yesterday I was SO tired- I didn’t do my 30DS.  I felt guilty about it after, but my WW buddy convinced me that it’s ok to take a day off when you need the rest.  I got right back at it today and it was just as hard as ever.  On the topic of the 30DS- how much would I kill to have Natalie’s body?! I think she’s one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen, and it really says a lot that she can look that good while working out that hard.  Although, I kind of want to punch Jillian when she says “if Natalie can do it, you can too!”…Natalie’s super fit, not exactly Jillian’s target audience! I’m still really liking this dvd though :)  The previews at the beginning have motivated me to add some Biggest Loser workout dvds to my Amazon wish list..I like that they have former contestants and overweight people doing the exercises.

Last night I went out for dinner unexpectedly- steak, potatoes, etc…I was starving by the time we got there, and ended up using 10 flex points.  I had 4 APs from yesterday, and got 4 more today, so that only puts me 2 into my flex points.  Most days I stay within my points, so I shouldn’t have a problem making up those points by my Weigh-In on Wednesday.  I would have stayed within my points yesterday too, but I really wanted a caesar salad (7 points- bad news!). BUT- I ordered it with the dressing on the side and only used about a teaspoon or so (I did the “fork dipping” thing).  Again, I had what I wanted, stayed in control, and enjoyed every bite.  I love Weight Watchers for that!

Tomorrow I’m going to be away from home pretty much all day, and will likely be eating in restaurants for lunch and dinner.  I’m planning to do my 30DS (day 7 of Level 2) before I leave.   It’s crunch time at school, and I’m feeling the pressure- I have to make sure I continue to make time for my workouts during all this stress!

Week 8 Weigh-In

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Well, I just got back and…..

I LOST 1.6 LBS!!!  179.4 lbs!

I’m SO happy!!  That brings my total lost to 7.6 lbs in 8 weeks. Not doing too badly on my goal to lose 25 lbs by my birthday!

And, even better, I’m now UNDER 180!! Never again, I tell you. Never again!

I did day 5 of the 30DS today…again, sweat running into eyes. At least I’m feeling the burn!

Thanks for the support, everyone :)

Update: I also just realized that my BMI has dropped from 32 to 31- very exciting! I actually can’t believe that I’m considered “obese” at my weight.  That is extremely scary.  Anyway, 6 more pounds and I’ll be in the “overweight” zone.  I still need to lose 39 pounds to be considered a healthy weight (140 lbs)- and that’s the very top end of the scale! I can’t even imagine what I’ll look like with that much weight off me, but I’m looking forward to it…

I once read that if you want to motivate yourself to lose 10 lbs, you should put 10 lbs of books in a backpack and walk around with it all day, just to see how much more energy it takes to lug that extra poundage around.  So, tonight, I took a stack of my law textbooks to my bathroom scale and weighed them, just to give myself a tangible idea of how much I’ve lost so far.  Let me tell you- it’s pretty satisfying! 7.6 lbs of books are pretty cumbersome- it definitely makes me very happy that I’m not carrying that weight around anymore! I really recommend this to anyone who is feeling like they’ve “only” lost 5 lbs.  I was feeling that way, and then I realized how heavy my 3lb hand weights are when I’ve been lifting them for a few minutes- every little bit is a triumph, it just depends on how you look at it.  I won’t be doing the backpack portion of the experiment, but it was still fun to see what almost 8 lbs feels like.

In other news, I am only 1.4 lbs away from reaching my 5%!  After this week of eating whatever I wanted while still staying within my points, I think I’ve finally figured out the magic equation for my body- I have to work out, eat my exercise points, and not eat my flex points. This seems to be the only thing that works. It’s an extremely delicate balance- I can’t not work out and eat fewer points, I have to do the workout and eat the points, or else I maintain.  Funny how your body knows the difference.  I’m going to try this tactic again this week, and see how it goes.  I’m going to be doing a lot of restaurant-ing this weekend, so it will be another test.  I’m 2.4 lbs away from reaching 10 lbs. THAT will be an exciting day.  My 10% goal is 18 lbs, and I can’t imagine how amazing that will feel!

DAMN it feels good to be out of the 180s!! :D 54.4 lbs to go….

Last Chance Workout

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Tuesdays are the longest days for me. I’m in law school and have 9 hours of class.  By the end of the day I’m pretty much dead to the world.  So, it’s a lucky coincidence that the Biggest Loser, my new favourite show, happens to be on when I drag my tired, pathetic self home.  I generally just want to go to bed and skip my workout, but watching these people work so hard makes me realize that if they can work out 8 hours a day, I can put in 30 minutes to do the 30 Day Shred.  And so, I was inspired to do my own “Last Minute Workout”. I just finished Day 4 of level 2. It’s now 1:10am and I’m writing this from my bed…my poor tired body can’t stay upright for another minute. I kind of feel ill…late dinner combined with exhaustion and those damn oblique twists!!

Another factor that encourages me not to skip my workout on Tuesdays is my Wednesday morning weigh-in.  I’m REALLY hoping to see a loss this week, as I’m now 1 lb behind where I hoped to be at this point (in terms of working towards my goal of losing 25 lbs by my birthday in June).

I was thinking today about reaching my goal. It’s honestly been so long since I felt good about my body, I can’t even imagine what it will feel like. I actually can’t even imagine being in the 150s, let alone 125.  It’s so far away, but I’m determined to do it this time.  Remind me of this next time I hit a plateau, okay? :)

Please send me lots of good weight-loss vibes for tomorrow- a big loss would be so encouraging right now…

Update on my weigh-in coming first thing tomorrow!

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