The Secret Life

a behind the scenes look at the consistently inconsistent life of an emotional eater…

Don’t give up. Don’t give in! April 29, 2013

Filed under: Random — preciouscharlie @ 7:20 pm

Why is it so hard to focus on the positive? I am trying my damndest, but feel like I am somehow falling short. So, one of my besties was in town visiting for the weekend. Though I was shockingly mellow with my alcohol intake, I was rather reckless with my eating. But I did have FUN!

I managed to get a cool workout on Saturday morning. That’s something to be proud of. I don’t know. I guess I am just bothered because I am in a mood and I just got done eating her garbage from Friday which I found in the fridge (chicken parm and spaghetti). After scarfing that down for no reason whatsoever, I am just trying to remember that I was rather active this weekend and I only ate at mealtime (VERY hefty portions)…I’ve convinced myself that it’s not enough.

I think I am just wanting it ALL and yesterday again. And I KNOW that’s not how it works. Patience and perseverance.  I’ll get through.

Meanwhile, I got an email from my former kickboxing coach. She’s building a team for Muckfest. I so want to do it, but I am afraid I won’t be able to cut it…or I WILL, but I’ll be the laughing stock. I won’t know if I don’t try, but me and fear walk hand in hand. Not cool.

I was supposed to go visit an apartment today (man it’s Monday, I am really thrown off since I took a day off work)…but anyway, the Boy convinced me it would be a waste of time because I am not going anywhere. Unfortunately, he’s right. I probably SHOULD move, but realistically, it’s not what I feel like doing right now. Besides, having my girlfriend here mad me see my faux relationship in a new light…not a GOOD one necessarily, just different. Things CAN be ok…if we CHOOSE them to be.

So, what’s it gonna be? I don’t know. What I do know is, I have to stop raiding the fridge when I am bored. It was easier before gf came, because the fridge was free of all the bad stuff. I finished off her chips and dip earlier today, so I think everything is gone. Gotta get back on the ball with cooking. I have this thing about cooking for people that don’t live with me. So when I have company, I always order out. I have to fix that. Or somehow be okay with them eating CRAP in my face while I eat something I’ve prepared for myself. We’ll see.

Well, it’s about that time. I soooo don’t feel like work tomorrow. Maybe I’ll call out. But that won’t solve anything. Also, days off w/o plans go super quickly. So I will not waste another day. I need to get my energy level up.  Oh shoot, forgot to mention my cheap-ass elliptical machine gave out on me. Pissed because it was something I used while I was in front of the TV. I don’t feel like investing in another. I have to find another cool calorie-burner that I can do while being a bum at the same time J