The Secret Life

a behind the scenes look at the consistently inconsistent life of an emotional eater…

For poops and giggles February 25, 2013

Filed under: Stats — preciouscharlie @ 8:01 pm

Mood: 5

Energy level: 3

(scale= 1-10, 10 is high)

I can do:

Push-ups (knees down):  6.5

Plank: 28 seconds

(Weight: 190.2)

 

Need to get back on the wagon… February 12, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — preciouscharlie @ 9:44 pm

Life happens.

I

EAT.

THE END

 

Out of [Bleep]in’ control! February 6, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — preciouscharlie @ 6:46 pm

Egg rolls. Lo Mein. General Tso’s…

Wontons. White rice. FRIED rice!

Who’s your daddy?!

Okay, so yes I have completely lost my grip (as if I ever had it in the first place).

I started looking for a new place to live and have been feeling rather down about the move. So how else am I supposed to lift my spirits? Wait, did somebody say spirits? I can certainly go for a vodka & cranberry right now! Maybe I will wait til Friday…actually, I WILL wait til Friday. I’m going to need a drink then, I’m sure.  Fridays will be tough for me for a while. It’s the day of the week when all hell broke loose in our household. It will be hard to forget because the boy is off on Fridays, and I get home earlier…and can stay up late. Makes for a long night…

I’ll be okay. Sooner or later. At least I’m not crying, right?

I thought I wanted this. I DO, dammit!  Do I not want it badly enough? I thought I did…

Sheesh! I gotta get it together! I don’t want to keep coming on here confessing my failure. I want to be a motivator, not a downer! Not someone people look at and say, “at least I’m not doing as bad as she is.”

 

Emotional rollercoaster February 3, 2013

Filed under: Diet & Exercise, Drama — preciouscharlie @ 8:41 pm

So isht finally hit the fan Friday night.

Long story short, I realized how much I actually DO care about a particular person though I may claim otherwise in anger.  I am hurt and saddened and even though all signs point to EXIT (and have for quite some time), I am still wanting to hang on for dear life. Why? Love? Passion? Lust?

Whatever the case, we got the clear to get out of our lease early. That should be a good thing but it certainly doesn’t FEEL good. It is a reality I have wanted on and off, but now that it’s here I don’t know what to do with myself. Sigh… Now I have to deal with the stress of actually MOVING…again (2nd time in what will be 10 months). And though I’m not moving across the country, there will still be an adaption period. Goodness knows, it’s stressful to even THINK about the cost and labor associated with relocating…all after I FIND a place to live!

At this point, I can’t remember the last time I worked out, but I can tell you I ate 3 sausage patties and Belgian Waffle for breakfast on Saturday and tonight I finally let the pizza demons win over my will power. I could have done without the waffle as I felt weighed down after devouring only half of it. The pizza was greasy and filling, but for some reason I feel less guilt. Sausage, pepperoni, bell peppers, black olives, and mushrooms, OH-yeah! I think it has to do with the fact it has been an off limits food for me. I was only able to eat a slice and a half (I usually eat 3-4 slices) though. Also, I had to skip the crust because it the dough was just too rich! I am stuffed now, but I don’t feel HEAVY which is good. I had a Pepsi too and man it was like hitting the crack pipe! Felt soooo good going down!

And now? Now I’m sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing. I think I will watch a little TV and call it a night. Hey, it’s either stuff my face and marinate or sit here crying buckets. I choose the former. I will pull through though.

p.s.

Owning the fact that I didn’t even attempt to make a grocery list or a meal plan. I have to learn to stay FOCUSED no matter what is going on in my world.

Goodnight!