The Secret Life

a behind the scenes look at the consistently inconsistent life of an emotional eater…

Farewell to Fat Party! January 17, 2013

Filed under: Weight Loss — preciouscharlie @ 11:03 pm

Who: Just me

When: Tonight

Where: My house

Time: 6-10 PM

WHY?

You like to hear it? Here it go:

Today, I craved a soft pretzel (something soft, chewy, with a hint if salt, and LOADED with carbs). ┬áSo I hopped in my car on my lunch break and headed for Wawa. I got TWO pretzels AND a bagel-melt. I’d never had one before. I didn’t WANT one. But it was THERE, whispering to me, “Try me. You’ll like me.” I figured, why not? The darn thing was $3.99! WHY? For this little piece of pure CRAP (semi-burnt bagel with ham, salami, and provolone)? But by the time the cashier scanned the price, I had somehow convinced myself that I NEEDED this bagel melt. I didn’t put it back. Just paid the five bucks and some change for my “meal” and left.

1150 calories and god only knows how many grams of fat later, I was fed up!

Feeling weighed down and lethargic, I decided today is the day! I’m not spending 2013 in my fat jeans and yoga pants! I am going to fit my regular clothes and look damn good in a bikini this summer! I’ve done it before and I can do it again [details at another time]!

By the time I left work, I had created a meal plan for the next several days and was ready to get this show on the road. Only problem was I have none of the needed groceries. I’ll go shopping for a few things tomorrow. In the meantime, I gobbled up anything I wanted when I got home. I’m talking a HUGE chunk of carrot cake (it was the last piece, I needed it out of my face), vanilla ice cream, a beer (the plan was to drink whatever was left in the fridge tonight so I can be alcohol free for the next few weeks–but there were too many), around 4 bowls of Honey Smacks (don’t ask), and the grand finale–a can of Healthy Request sausage gumbo (with added salt for taste)! I took my last bite at 10pm. I feel good and disgusted now. I’m geared up for a fresh start.

Was all this necessary? No. It was fun–at first. My final binge before I take the New Me challenge. But now I feel sick. I sometimes wish I could make myself purge. That has never been the case though. Whatever I take in STAYS (hence my new pear-shaped figure).

So here I am, physically feeling like crud but mentally ready to move on. Alas, I bid adieu to Fat Me! Tomorrow is a brand new day…