Finding Me

Okay- went to WI and I had lost exactly 1 lb,  bring my total lost to 27.4 since March. It seems awful slow but I guess it works out to about 6.5lbs average per month. Oh for those days when I could lose 20 per month! But really, if was more on top of things and had fewer slips, I’d be losing faster. So as for the Intermittent fasting- I’m still working on how to do it properly. I eat lunch at work most days at my regular lunch time of 12:00. Then I eat supper with my family at night. I try to get in fruit, yogurt, etc in between so that I get in all my “healthy guideline foods”, but some times I’m busy and end up eating really late which is not good. I try to get my 2 mile walk in in the evenings which doesn’t help with the time crunch but what else can I do? The support sites for IF say the first 3 weeks or so are like this, with many people bingeing during their “eat” hours at first until they settle in to a routine that works for them. They also say some people actually gain weight the first coupla weeks, but I have lost 3.6 lbs since I started last week and that is WITH the times I have eaten too much of the wrong foods. I’m gonna keep working on it and try to get the right balance as long as its working and I feel good. i don’t want to do anything to jeopardize my health, but this way of eating is supposed to help your body by giving it time free from digestion issues to work on cell repair and other maintenance that our heavy food intake normally prevents. All hype? Maybe. There has been an awful of flack over low carb diets over the years and how unhealthy they are. I certainly thought that for years, but came to know different when I lived that life off and on over several years. And now more and more studies show that Dr. Atkins was right all along. Low carb is GOOD for your heart, cholesterol, etc, etc, when done correctly. I think this will be the same if I learn to do it in the healthiest way possible. We’ll see as time goes on. I’ll continue to post as I can and look back to see my progress or lack of as the case may be. If I start slipping or start feeling unhealthy then I’ll go back to my regular ww style eating. But at the very least, this has shaken things up and got me losing again!! See ya next time-

Pooh : )

Okay, went to WI Thursday night and I had lost 2.6lbs! I did the intermittant fasting all week and it was fine. I was a little hungry the first 2 mornings, but that went away later in the mornings. I would eat lunch at 12 during my break, then eat supper at home with my family. The only problem is getting in enough fruits and veggies in that time box, 12-8. Good planning can help with that-one night I came home and ate a whole steam bag of veggies which said the bag was 5 servings! But then I was stuffed! And on Wednesday night, I binged and ate 3 honey buns because I was not able to go home til real late and was starving and stressed out. My weight loss might have been even better without that mess. Then today I found myself eating because I was upset and worried about something that should have been happy news but had the potential to cause an argument between me and DH. So I ate 2 servings of ice cream. Yeah that’s gonna really help me shed the pounds. I went shopping this afternoon with DD and that was fun, mostly. Looking in those mirrors is torture-they showcase all the ugly fat that I sometimes forget is so grossly OUT THERE. I have been doing strength training for a few weeks, not always on schedule but pretty good, and things are starting to feel tighter and smaller from that and all the 2 mile walks. But then I see myself in the mirrors and oh boy, it looks so bad it makes me never want to eat again. But that kind of thinking is not gonna get me anywhere so I just have to keep going. I have to work on this new plan and figure out just how to do it where I get in all the fruits/veggies, lean protein, dairy, wholegrains that I need, without stuffing them all in too closely and feeling completely stuffed and sick.I know it’s possible, just have to put some time into making it work out right. Well, time to get off here and get other stuff done, so I’ll be back next week and we’ll see how it’s working then.

Well, it’s been a while since I could get back in here. It kept saying my password was in error, though I knew it wasn’t. I finally got them to reset and they sent some crazy long password that is probably very secure but I’ll never remember it! Speaking of remembering, I don’t know what my last rambling was about, and not sure how things were going at that time. So I’ll just start where I am now. Last week at weigh in, I had lost .4! Great. this week at WI, I had GAINED .4! GREAT! :(  I have been stuck here around 272 now for quite a while. Now a big part of the problem is not the WW program but me. DH bought me a flat of bluberries which I have been wanting and what do I do? I make a delicious blueberry cobbler. Now, I DID use only half the margarine (lite) and I used half sugar and half spenda to make it. But I ate 3/4’s of the pan!!! Way to go, Pooh!

 Somewhere on a site, I stumbled across the idea of “intermittent fasting”. That’s when you fast for a period of hours, usually 16 to 24 hours. Like if you ate 1 meal a day, and then don’t eat again until the same time the next day, that would be 24 hours. Lots of people do it for 16-18 hours, then eat healthily several times within the window of the other 6-8 hours. It made a lot of sense if you do it correctly. You do it several days a week, and then eat normally the other days. Some do 1 day on, 1 day off, back and forth, some do the work week and take the weekend off. There are all kinds of ways to do it, you do what works for your schedule and life. You do have to be careful to get in enough calories and nutrients. If you don’t, then your body simply goes into starvation mode, like mine did when I followed the KIMKINS diet. I lost 30 lbs in just over 30 days, but I lost muscle, my hair, and I was freezing all the time. But I was taking in probably 500 calories or less per day. I never want to put my body thru that again. It took months to feel healthy again. But, if done correctly, I think this will work. You’re getting in enough calories to maintain health, but you’re breaking your obsession with food. I spend so much time planning what to eat and when and how many points it is and am I getting this and getting that and did I go over my points, and on and on. It would be nice not to think about that stuff all the time. Back in January I had stumbled on that book about eating prayerfully, which is really intuitive eating using prayer to help you eat only when hungry and stop as soon as you are satisfied. I did it for about a month and felt wonderful. I remember I had so much energy!! I worked all day, and then came home and cleaned like crazy. I painted and re-did the laundry room during that time and got a lot done. I slept great, which is rare for me, but seemed to need less sleep.  But then , as usual, something happened that threw me off track and it seemed impossible to get back to doing it. Then my DF asked me to join WW with her, and that was the end of it. Now, I’m not quitting WW. It is helping me to stay accountable and I enjoy the meetings. But I am going to give this a try and see if it will shake things up enough to get me losing again. And it’s not just the weight loss but the other health benefits that are said to result from this way of eating. Yesterday, I ate 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast at 7. Then I didn’t eat til after WI. I was fine, no hunger or weakness, in fact I didn’t have that afternoon slump I usually have where I can hardly hold my eyes open. Because I am a compulsive eater, this may be the answer for me. I have realized that I’ve been eating way too much SF pudding, FF cool whip, low fat popcorn, low point breads, etc, etc. My body doesn’t need nearly as much food as I can fit into my points allowance. I need to stick to the fruits and veggies and lean proteins, and lay off all the processed foods.

Am I going off on another crazy search for the cure? I don’t know. I’ve spent my whole life searching for the way to lose weight and keep it off. There are a million diets and most of them work if you follow them religiously. But many of them are extremely unhealthy, and I have been taken in before in my desperation. I’ll just pray for guidance as I do this. After all, fasting has been used as a religious practice for thousands of years. And the author of that book did fast in just this way. At the time, I thought I couldn’t do that part (and didn’t) but I could do the prayerful eating and I did that fine. Lord, please help me to succeed with this. I think so often about the fact that my body is not really mine, but just on loan from you. And that I abuse it terribly, and then turn around and blame IT for the way I look and feel. My body is Your temple and I should treat it with the same love, respect, and reverance that I would your church. I’d never go in church and strew trash about, but I willingly fill my body with harmful junk over and over! Help me to treasure my body and all it does for me rather than hate it and long for someone elses.

I’m committed to trying this and seeing how it goes. Have to do it in a way that people don’t realize it, because of course I’ll get a lot of flack from well meaning loved ones. No need to worry them til I see if this is something that works for me. But I think it will be pretty easy to fast all day, eat in the evening with my family, and then eat healthily and normally on weekends. We’ll see. I’ll be back in a few days, and record how things are going. Who know? Maybe I’ll write my own book someday!! :  )

That was what I was gonna write last night but I was so tired and sleepy that I couldn’t  hold my eyes open and I went to bed. Well, I went tonight, after having to miss last week because of the retirement party, and I had lost .4. Disappointing because I felt I had done really well the past few days and I have been walking again. But then I had to remind myself that I had probably gained a couple of lbs from the previous weekend and then lost them. I do feel like I am back on track now. I am working really hard on eating when I am hungry (not just because it’s “Time to eat”) and stopping when I am full. Tonight, Liz didn’t go (too tired after closeout) so I went to Wendys after WW and got a small chili and 5 pc. chicken nuggetsfor 9 points, and then had a peach that was my afternoon snack from work (too busy to eat it then). Then I went and did my grocery shopping at Walmart. I
knew better than to go when I was hungry!Then I went to Little Caesars and picked up pizza to carry home for the guys. I was craving something sweet, and had entertained the idea of splurging for a candy bar or pastry while I was shopping. I convinced myself thtat I really did not want those things, but I did stop at McD.’s to get them tea, and I got myself a vanilla cone (3 pts.) I still had plenty of points left for the day, plus it was WI day, when I usally splurge, so I thought, I’ll order an apple pie. I ended up getting 2 because you get 2 for $1. After I ate the cone, I was really satisfied. It was as if the apple pies kept calling out to me “eat me, eat me”  but - I didn’t give in!! YAY me! I know that many times I have gotten 2 and ate them. Me and my closet binging. But I am proud that I didn’t give in and talked myself thru it. HOWEVER- at home I did end up eating 11/2 slices of the pizza. It was hot and cheesy and hard to resist. But I still didn’t eat the pies, and I had enough points to cover the pizza. Small baby steps are still steps in the right direction.

While walking, I am talking to myself (not out loud, don’t want people to think I’m nuts, LOL) telling myself I CAN do this, I WILL do this, I CAN lose this weight and I WILL, I CAN KEEP IT OFF AND I WILL. I can’t quite picture myself thin, after all I’ve only been thin once in my adult life and it was for such a short time and so long ago. On the other hand, you often don’t realize how big you are until you catch an unexpected look in the mirror or see yourself in a picture. Inside, I usually don’t feel nearly as big as I am. Of course every now and then, I feel absolutely HUGE, embarrassed to be seen and extremely uncomfortable in my own skin. Humans are SO messed up. No wonder it’s so hard for your brain to catch up to your body when you lose a lot of weight. I have a coworker who had gastric bypass a few months ago and is now tiny. She looks wonderful and I’m very happy for her. She’s still young and unmarried and just starting to date at this new size. She said it’s still very hard to see herself as small, she’s been overweight her whole life. I guess that’s one good thing I can say about losing so slowly- it gives me plenty of time to adjust to the changes, too much time. But I will get there and every .1 lb down is going in the right direction. I feel positive and upbeat and hope to hold on to this attitude. I have to do this unless I want to lose my sight, my limbs, my kidney function, and my dignity, not to mention I want to be an active part of my grandchildren’s lives when I have some one day.

Well, it’s late again, and tomorrow is another day. Oh yeah- I LOVE baby carrots now with FF Ranch dressing. Who would have thought I would EVER love carrots?! : )