the blog is still here..waiting for me

Posted by pinkdress on June 26th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

yah..today my birthday

i am 22 years old, 5 feet 3 and 80kg..

happy birthday to myself.

today

Posted by pinkdress on April 10th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

“no star today.

my goal is by 1 i will sleep and wake up at six tomorrow, have a light breakfast and go running start from the bridge to the economics building. hurrah..”

actually that’s what i wrote last night. then i saved it. thought i have published it. found out just now i did’nt.

well, doesnt matter.

last night i have some ideas that maybe, maybe if i make some easy goals before i sleep, i maybe, maybe i WILL pick up thiss lazy ass to exercise in the morning. and guess what?

yup. i did it. well, it was easy, i purposely set the goal that i have achieved before, so cannot have excuses anymore.

wake up at 6.30, gulp some water, run from the junction to the econ, walk all the way back to sports complex, try to do some weights but found that i did not want to (maybe i need goals for that too), ang go home at 7.30. so that was 1 hour..which means 1 STAR!! horray!!

then i eat this double creme breag, which is breakfast, so another 1 STAR!! awesome!!

i read this last night,

Trying to lose fat by eating less and less and running more and more doesn’t work. The more you exercise and the less you eat, the more likely your body is to ‘hibernate’. That is, you’ll conserve calories and thwart your efforts to lose fat. The better bet is to exercise reasonably and increase your food intake early in the day to fuel your training. Eat breakfast, lunch and an afternoon snack. Then eat lightly at dinner and afterwards.

Pasted from <http://www.runnersworld.co.uk/news/article.asp?UAN=285>

The problem is, that when i start eating, i did not want to stop. it is fine if i had no breakfast, i can stay not eating until night, no hunger pangs there, just my body protesting by refusing to move. but then, like now, when i started to put those fucking food into my body, i cannot stop thinkin about them. now i am actively planning my lunch while bitching this to all of you..

about lunch, the article did say to eat a lot early in the day eh, so i’ll have lunch at 11…but i need rice, i need rice right now, not at 11!!

see what breakfast done to me?

but then maybe i have to change my breakfast menu, i always found that white bread does not alleviate my hunger, it only increase it. proved in many occasions. but what’s other thing i can eat instantly at the morning without fuss, well, oat is too yucky in this hour, milk, well, too expensive ( i am a student, afterall ), instant noodles?now that sounds cheap. but then feeding myself all those salt and msg in the morning..i’ll lose all my hair by night. i can reduce them by half, but the noodles will taste like..yucky.

anyway.i need to study today. after lunch gonna go straight to library. and at 8 pm i will have to do my partime. see you guys, luv ur all.

busy ~~

Posted by pinkdress on April 7th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

hi..
gos such a busy week, and it only tuesday!
anyway, got 2 exam, tomorrow and on saturday. this is finl exam, our last chance to win some carry marks..
today i woke up at ten and go walking+jogging for an hour (i star there) then gone to the library to finish my kdm project..

but then, i forgot my breakfast, and purposely forgot my lunch (to busy doing the project) , so no star there.

owh..hai eileen, yeah, its me :]..

so i can now announce it here, i joined the april challenge. hum..put only three food goals there, no junk food, not skipping breakfast, and 3 meals per day. which..i miserably failed at today.

at least i jog at the morning..humm..

anyway, for yesterday and the day before that, i eat those 3 meals, so 1 star for each day..

happy days chickies..luv ur all ;]

when was the last time i am here?

Posted by pinkdress on April 2nd, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment

hey girls..

well, its not good, but not bad at all..

anyway, i am back.

busy weekend

Posted by pinkdress on March 23rd, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment

sorry been absent again.

on friday i heard that one of my friends is in hospital, because of accident. so on saturday, we go and see her. she was ok, except her broken left hand, her injured left eye, and her face..

she is a beautiful girl, and i admire her for that. i think i had a crush on her, lol, she love to hug me and i never mind (i hate when others do, even my mum), we were in the territorial army together, and she is that kind of girl who inspire others do be strong, because she dont accept excuses. you know we had that kind of ‘moral’ system for fun?she is my moral. i dunnow, i just love her.

when i saw her on saturday, i just want to cry. and everyone of us did want to cry. the only thing which hold us back and make us swallow the tear is the fact that she is there, sitting on the bed, right eye shut almost close, left eyes not functioning, smiling at us. u see, even in this time, she still is the strongest girl amongst us..her face is full of cuts that i did not recognize her at first, under her left jaw there is a big slash, and her left eye was cut, and require 7 hours surgery to sew it back together.

i stay quiet on the visit, because i dont know what to say, and because i fear if i talk, i’ll break down. she smiled and smiled, and i struggled not to cry.i am thinking the whole time, why it has to be her?

—————-

today being crazy day, he start texting me again, yeah, the ‘he’ who dumped me just a week ago. stupid him.i am ignoring him. hanging on there..

and crazy day also bring lots of food..huhu..

starts the day with two packet of instant noodles, then the night comes with butter cheese bread, yogurt, dried squids, a tin of nescafe, and a tin of fruit punch. then just at 11 pm, fried rice. god..

and i just log in to report to you that i had a report to do, and probably wont be awake tomorrow morning for exercise.

or maybe i will just sleep now, and be awake tomorrow morning, that seem to be more responsible and adult like decision. humm..

oh, i just only told you about my last saturday, now i’ll tell about yesterday, i had a canoe outing. sent the day at putrajaya lake, lerning water confidence, practicing strokes and capsize, and have an hour expedition around the lake. capsize is expecially difficult. but then i swear my arms look bigger already from all those exercise they got.

so i will sleep. nite chickies. luv ur all.

at last

Posted by pinkdress on March 20th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

at last i found my perfect exercise buddy..dunnow yet, its been only 2 days, but i kinda like her, and i know that she is reliable.

yesterday, we went to a run. she runs some distance and the walk all the way, i like the way she does not feel guilty over that, which mean, she will not try to avoid further run after this..

and today, she asked me to walk only. so i complied, and it went great.

we will see tomorrow..

i am eating more apples and pears, cos too lazy to go buy food..

oh my..is it me you are seeing?!!

Posted by pinkdress on March 18th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

yah, its me.

anyway,sorry for the long absent, do you all miss me?

ah well, i miss myself too. long story cut short, he dumped me, so now i am missing that me who was smiling at the grass,snail,rock,anyone and anything who have the luck to cross my path that day, because i was sooo happy. but now, yeah, i missed myself.

i think i am passed the grieving part. now i am entering the revenge part. hum, i spent my whole thermodynamics class today plotting how i got thin, and popular, and he wants me back, and i did not want him. okayy..i know i know, but it did make me feel so much better..

and my father. well, my father is the only one man on earth who can say something bad about me and make me wept about it for my whole life. i really care what he say about me, being like that for my entire life. and he is in the habit of saying some schorching remarks about me..since i was born. i kept reminding myself that what he say does not matter, but still, it does matter. lots of time in my childhood he says that i am stupid, nothing i ever want make to the top agenda of his life, my opinion never matter, i am too stupid to be considered seriously, and last sunday, compared to my twin, i look like his auntie, because i am too fat.

i hate him.

i am so sorry that i am too fat, too stupid, and all the imperfection that i have, god know how sorry am i for what i am.

do you think that i like this?

and him, leeving me without reasons, like he was just playing around, and now he is just bored..

how could someone do that kind of thing to someone else?

ah, broken heart.

future?

Posted by pinkdress on February 17th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

i visit future.org last night and wrote myself a birthday email in june. cant wait to read it again, i did promise myself some things, i would be a great birthday to recieve those promises done.

humm..

i suck.

Posted by pinkdress on February 17th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

Heyya chicks, the broadband is sucking up again. So I am writing this on onenote then I’ll copy and paste it to to the blog sometime when this damn thing works.

This is crap day. I woke up thinking I deserve a break from class today. What a stupid ass I am. So then I spend up the whole morning sleeping. And then the whole afternoon. Only at 5pm then I realize I should get myself moving, so I go for a walk, because I had no good supportive bra for a run. I suck.

I had money issue right now. I cant seem to save, dunno why, I should save, but I never did. I hate Asking for money from my parents but still I did not save. I suck.

Food today? I suck.

Part time today? I suck.

What I am thankful for today? Are you kidding me??

…..

Okay..

I am thankful that I had a good sleep last night.

I am grateful that while I miss class, no quizzes were conducted.

No new assignments were given too.

I am glad that although he did not text me as much as he usually did, but he still text me.

I am grateful for yummy lunch I had today.

I am grateful for the money that I earned today at part time.

i am grateful for friendships that I felt today.

I am grateful that I walk the steps up the hill in the evening and rewarded by nice views and a friend.

I had to study chapter 9 Kinematics and Dynamics of Machinery and do the assignment due tomorrow. I got the assignment last week, and still had not done anything on it yet..see, I told you I suck.

recovery..

Posted by pinkdress on February 16th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

okay,

i had found a pattern of my pms, it is usually 2 days before ‘d day’, and i felt so like crap that day that someone will be a victim. just two days ago, its him. a month ago, its tya. damn, i had to hide from the world that day..

oh yeah, my valentine goes this way,

a day before i kill him for supposedly ignoring me, then at the valentine day, i go for army training, and fainted during the marching exercise. then a girl said some hurtful thing, and that left me feeling so sad,depressed..whatever. in the bus on the way back to uni that night, i text him, where he try to make me feel better, that make me burst into tears. humm… anyway, that night i told him i love him so much..

ok, i gonna stop.

so today, i have my usual brunch : rice, veggie, and chicken.

then snack: 5 cookies and a glass of milk.

humm..hope this stop here.

i gonna go and make myself a jug of unsweetened tea.


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