Lying on the couch

A Few Pearls I’ve Learned Along the Way

I’m a 43 year old professional woman who has been overweight most of my adult life.  I was relatively active as a kid and when I hit college, I started gaining weight and have struggled ever since.  I have been on more diets than I can count.  I’ve tried almost everything you can imagine-low fat, low carb, Zone, South Beach, Weight Watchers and everything in between.  I will take the weight off for awhile but then I could never stick with the program and eventually I would gain it all back and usually a few extra.  I’m sure most of you know this story. 

In 2002 I went to Weight Watchers for the first time as a suggestion from a friend believe it or not, mostly to meet people.  I had moved to a new area a couple years before and hadn’t met many people my age.  However, I initially found the program pretty easy to follow.  Back then, all they had was the points plan.  I lost over 50 lbs and then I got stuck.  As you all may recall-as you lost weight on that plan, you also lost points and it became more and more restrictive.  I reached a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore and I felt like there was something about this program that just didn’t meet my needs.  There are some aspects of it I liked-like the weekly meetings but somethings I didn’t.  I never reached my goal weight.  In fact, I never got below 200 lbs.  Eventually I quit going.  And of course, I gained the weight back. 

In 2005, a couple friends from work had great success doing low carb diets and they seemed to be able to stick with it long term.  I was really impressed with how well they were doing and I decided I would try it.  I started out thinking I was going to do South Beach (really more low glycemic than low carb) and ended up dong Protein Power.  I lost 65 lbs over the next 15 months.  This was by the far the most successful I had ever been in losing weight and the longest I had ever stuck with anything.  I got to 175 lbs-not quite to my goal weight of 150 but the closest I had ever been.  Then I decided to move half way across the country to a new job which I hated and you can guess what happened.  I’ve since left that job and have one I enjoy most of the time. 

But I learned something very important about myself in that process.  I am a refined sugar addict.  I had never before eliminated sugar from diet and it was clear that it made a HUGE difference.  It also became clear that when I looked back over my history, my inability to control my intake of refined sugar had sabotaged every single attempt at controlling my weight.  If I got the sugar out of my life, I could handle the rest.  Since then, I have become acutely aware of this internal struggle.   I know that I have stood in the grocery store in front of the cupcakes having the exact same arguments in my head that crack addicts have with themselves on street corners trying not to buy crack and that is just crazy!  When I listen to some of my drug addicted patients talk about how hard it is for them sometimes to resist the cravings and urges I know exactly what they are talking about.  And the funny thing is, there is not another addictive bone in my body.  I have never used illegal drugs, abused alcohol (well, maybe once or twice), I don’t have a problem with gambling-but give me a bag of oreos and forget about it. 

Along the way, I developed what I call my 5 commandments of weight loss.  I will share them here for anyone who is interested and may find them helpful.

1.  The best diet for you is the one you can stick to for life.  They all work.  In fact, they all work just about equally as well so the important thing is to find something that fits your lifestyle and your food preferences because this has to be something you can do forever.  Temporary “dieting” will only lead to temporary weight loss. 

2.  Cheating is the enemy of successful weight loss.  I’m not talking about having the occasional mistep that no one plans and just happens-your at a party and the next thing you know you have some hor d’oeurve in your mouth you realize you have no business eating.  I’m talking about people who approach this whole process with something other than a 100% committment.  People who say things like they are going to have a “cheat day” or a “cheat meal” etc.  That is like a smoker saying they are going to quit smoking every day except Sunday.  How successful do you think they will be at quitting?  This is a major lifestyle change.  And like all major lifestyle changes it requires a 100% committment. 

3.  Keep a food journal.  Almost everyone who is successful at this keeps a journal and people who journal lose 50% more weight than people who don’t.  Just the process of writing it down makes you more mindful of what you are eating.  Additionally, it gives you the chance to look back and see what you are doing when you are successful and what you are doing differently when you get stuck.  How detailed this journal is and what all you include is a matter of personal preference but do something. 

4.  Be honest with yourself about your addictions.  I wrote above about my issues with refined sugar.  From my interactions with other people trying to lose weight on this site and elsewhere, I have found that almost everyone who is significantly (more than 50 lbs) overweight has some food they are not able to eat in moderation.  And a lot of people actually know what this is.  The most common ones are: refined sugar, salty snacks (potato chips, pretzels, crackers, nuts), fast food including pizza, alcohol (which may be another problem too).  Currently the only approach we have for addiction is abstinence.   They have a saying in AA that I have found applies very well with me and sugar: “One is too many and a thousand is never enough.” 

5.  Exercise is part of a healthy life.  You may be surprised by my approach to this.  You notice it is my last commandment.  The best form of exercise is the kind you actually do so find something you enjoy doing and do it on a regular basis.  We can all have arguments about what form of exercise is “best”-cardio, resistance, etc.  I happen to like yoga and pilates.  I belong to a yoga studio and go 3-4 times per week.  That’s my thing.  I will not go to a gym and sweat on a treadmill or an eliptical for hours.  If that’s your thing-more power to you.  People also often take the approach that if they have spent X amount of time in the gym they can overeat in someway.  You are better off taking my other 4 commandments more seriously and looking at exercise as something enjoyable and relaxing that you get to do-not some chore that is a required part of your weight loss program.