Lately I have been overwhelmed with things to do or upcoming things that need my attention and I just haven’t had the time or energy to blog like I would normally. I still been reading blogs when I have a chance, but it seems as though the writing aspect is lacking.

I have been searching for a job the past couple of weeks and have my fingers crossed for a couple of things that I really would like to try out- nothing big, just some part time work for the extra cash. My DH’s new schedule is proving difficult for me to really have down time like I did before and so that forces me to try to squeeze in my own activies with ours together. I haven’t been working out near enough, but my eating has gotten better and as of this morning I was back at 158.6.

I bought a ton of fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grain breads, healthy oils and fiber loaded snacks to keep my diet balanced. It seems that I have been balancing out calories around 1200-1600 daily since loading my frigde again, so I think the healthy food is paying off. Not to mention when you are running in five directions at once it’s hard to over snack…

In other news my dad is planning to come up and visit for the first time since we got married. My family isn’t the traveling type and he will be the first of my friends or family to visit any of our homes since the military whisked us away. I’m excited, but at the same time I want the house to be perfect. I have about 2 weeks to get all the laundry done and put away, pack up the boxes that I pulled out of storage, clean everything until it sparkles and put away anything that I wouldn’t want him to see. Lol, some people might think it strange, but there are some things in my house that I just wouldn’t want my family to lay an eye on. Also, if I happen to get a job in the mean time he will be in the house by himself for hours at a time. I feel bad because I don’t cable for him to watch and I don’t know about letting him use my laptop… I mean what could be in here that I don’t want him to see? Is there anything?

Anywho, it all has my mind going in a bunch of different directions and I need to find a way to focus it all and delegate myself tasks. I probably won’t be writing much, but I am still here. Also, yesterday DH and I bought bicycles to go out and ride the trails for exercise. Kinda worried about that too seeing as how between two bikes, a pump, a trunk mounted rack, knee pads/ helmet, and a comfortable seat to sit on… it all came up to about $300.00. That’s a lot to sink in if DH doesn’t actually ride very often. I am trying to get him more active, but he is just stuck in a phase where he claims he is too tired all the time… There goes my brain worrying about yet another thing…

Well I’m off for now and going to try to get my life in order.

“Dear (insert higher being that you chose to believe in or follow),

Today I pray for guidance, guidance to make the right choices in making a healthy life.

I pray for absolution from my past indulgences and the will to forgive myself for being weak.

I ask that you send me strength to resist temptation and courage to overcome my addictions.

I humbly request that you shield me from my worst desires and free my mind from false truths.

Please lay your healing hand upon me and cure me from this madness.”

 

Food and sloth are addictions just like any other and sometimes we need help to break the cycle. Today is July 22nd, 2011 and I am going to change. Tomorrow starts a new journey, with me at the wheel and not my addictions. I will enjoy life without indulging in the pleasures of taste and smell. I will feed my soul and not my body. I will find a physical and mental strength that I never knew I had or could ever have. I will become a new person and I will succeed. There will be no more failure and I will never be ashamed to look at the destruction of what has passed my lips. I am ready, I am here.

 

but I wanted to update you guys a bit while I have the chance. I don’t know what it is, but I just cannot find my groove again. I did SO well today until about midnight when I absent mindedly munched through about half a box of cheez-it’s. What the hell was I thinking? I mean in retrospect it wasn’t the worst thing calorically that I could have pigged out on, but still- what nutritional value is in a processed cheese cracker? None, I’m guessing…

This sucks. I can see myself slipping and giving into old habits again, but it’s like I’m on the sidelines just watching it all, yet powerless to stop it. I really need an intervention. I don’t even want to look at the scale after the past few days. I think my first step to recovery is to admit that I have a problem, and I sure do. I am GOING to make a change today. I WILL eat only what I need and I WILL succeed. I will not put myself on the scale until I have successfully made it through the next few days and I WILL NOT be discouraged, whatever number that it shows.

I am not giving up, but I have been too hard on myself making this journey a lot more painful than it ever had to be, it’s time to change the way I look at things and start fresh. I will not let the numbers rule me anymore. I will do things right and accept what outcome is awarded to me.

I will update in more detail when the pc is fixed.

Update: See challenge page for results.

Update 2: My internet is not working right, may be unavailable for a few days.

Congratulations to all of you!

Hello all! Tomorrow Sunday July 10th is the official end of the Summer Slam Down Challenge! I hope that everyone is still on board for the final weigh in. As many of you know I made last weeks weigh in optional since it was a holiday weekend and did not boot anyone from the challenge. So far I have only gotten an update from about half of you since before the 4th of July, for anyone that hasn’t posted recently remember that tomorrow is the last day. I am going to send standard comment to everyone reminding them of the final weigh in after I post here.

For the final weigh in I need the following: Your current weight, current BMI, on plan status, and your waist measurement (at the navel). I need your results by 2:00pm EST on Monday July 11th, the winner will be annonced Monday night after I have received all submissions. Remember that this was just a challenge and even if you didn’t lose what you wanted or if you even gained, it is ok. We are having fun here and shouldn’t be ashamed of our efforts. Just imagine where we’d be if we weren’t trying to lose weight! I look foward to compiling our final results and crowning a winner! Good luck to all of you and remember even though the challenge ends tomorrow, you have until the next day- Monday 2:00pm EST- to get the results to me. If anyone wants to make public comments on how the challenge went or what they liked or disliked feel free to post them too and we can all discuss where to go from here. Thanks for all your efforts and I have really had a blast!

5thJuly

More updates!

Wow! I have had such a busy past  2 weeks, and it ain’t over yet! Found out today that DH’s shift was changed and now he won’t be back into work until this Friday. I am happy to have him longer, but also scared for the final weigh in this Monday! I hope that everyone is on board for this last week, I am trying, but damn’it if I didn’t do a challenge during a holdiay. To everyone that did post numbers I will get the up on the main page as soon as I have time to copy them up. For everyone else I look foward to posting the final results.

Reality check for myself, I have not weighed in a week now and feel fat! Like a 4-5+ gain kinda fat here! I am hoping that it won’t be a gain this last weigh in, but I have my doubts. i’m not going to beat myself up though and if anyone else has gained I don’t want you to beat yourselves up either. We still have a lot of summer left to lose these pounds and we are gonna do it! I don’t think I’ll jump on the scale at all until sunday… starting tomorrow I am going to do a major detox over here. I’m thinking water and salads only until sunday. I feel gross and really need something to get me back to normal.

List O’Shame since DH got back 2 weeks ago… 3 hot dogs w/ chilli, french fries x2, burger king chicken sandwich x2, chicken parmesean x2, too much ice cream to recall an exact figure, 1.5 funnel cakes ,3 slices of pizza, macaroni and cheese, a cheese burger, chinese food, and chips with dip x3. That is a lot of BAD BAD BAD food to scarf down in 2 weeks time. Why is it that him being home makes me eat like a fricken pig? I hadn’t had fast food ONCE in the last 3 months while he was away. I need an intervention…

I have a few updates for you guys and I hope that as a group this turns out to be a good idea… Since most of us are having a holiday weekend and the 4th is on Monday I am going to allow the weigh in for this week to be optional. I know that most of us have either indulged or are busy with vacation plans and may not be able to post on time. You may still submit numbers if you want to, but I won’t remove anyone from the challenge this week if you don’t.

Secondly, when I first started this challenge, I had no clue that DH would be home or that he would have leave right now, so we have vacation plans through the 5th as well. For next weeks challenges I am going to request that you review the 3 previous weeks challenges and complete 8-10 of them for this coming 4th week. That should keep us all busy for our last week for sure. I wish I had the time to come up with so new and exciting challenges for the last week, but sometimes life throws you a curve and you gotta run and catch it! I apologize for slacking this week, but I have to enjoy the time I have with DH this week before work takes him back over. If anyone has a questions just comment and I’ll get back with you as soon as I get them.

On a personal note, the last couple of weeks with DH home have been havock on my diet. I guess I could have done a lot worse, but with only one week left to lose, I know I won’t be making my July goals… It’s dissapointing, but (and I hate to say it) I know once DH goes back to work I’ll be able to get back on track. My only real goal at this point is to finish the challenge without gaining. As long as I weigh 155.0 at the final weigh in I’ll feel like I have won. Good luck to everyone this holiday and I’ll be hoping for good vibes for all of us!