Sistah Pat

Two posts in a row!  I’m on a roll!  I walked on my treadmill yesterday and I’m eating healthy today.  A few more days like this and I’ll be back on track. 

Breakfast _ Lite yogurt (60 calories)
Lunch - Marie Callender’s Turkey dinner (340 calories)

That’s what I face every morning.  I pull into the school parking lot and make my decision.  Do I park in the area on the far side of the school where they have direct entry into the second floor or do I park at the end of the building close to my classroom?  I have to sign in at the front office (which is on the second floor) so it makes sense to park on the far side of the building, go directly inside, sign in and go to my classroom (which is also on the second floor).  The problem is that my classroom is the very last room in the building and it’s 364 steps from my car to my classroom.  At the end of the day when I’m tired and my ankles are killing me, I have to lug my computer, purse, briefcase and whatever else I’m dragging home with me all the way down the entire length of the building.  Three hundred and sixty four steps.  I’ve counted them.

On the other hand, I can park at the far end of the building, which is really close to my classroom, and haul all my junk up three flights of steps.  Eleven steps at each juncture.  I arrive in my classroom gasping for breath, drop my purse, computer, lunch, briefcase and coffee cup on the nearest table and attempt to regain control before I walk all the way down the hall (220 steps) and sign in at the office.  Then it’s another 220 steps back to my room.  I always take a peek around the corner when I get to the top of the stairs.  Desperately hoping that Ms. T. (cute as a button, 100 pounds dripping wet, first year teacher) isn’t in her room.  She usually gets to school early and, if she beats me, her door will be open and she’ll call out a cheery little greeting.  Forcing me to answer when I can’t even breath.  I suck it in, unlock my door as quick as I can and collapse with a big whoosh from holding my breath.

Why do I struggle with this decision?  I usually park close to my room because, even though 33 stairs are torture and they’re followed by 220 steps down to the office to sign in and another 220  back to my room, I know, at the end of the day that it’s an easy 33 steps down and another 40 to my car.  And I know, at the end of the day, that’s going to be about all I can handle.

So what does that say?  That one of my major decisions every day has to be whether to park on the side of the building by my room and deal with steps or the side of the building by the office and deal with distance?  And really…should any of this make me think about retirement every day as I make my decision?  I wrestle with the parking decision and, in the back of my mind, I’m reminding myself…”Another four months and I’ll never have to face those damn steps again.”

So I’m trying.  I actually went upstairs this morning and walked on my treadmill.  Only went a mile but it’s a start.  The poor thing was covered in dust and supporting a box of Christmas wrapping accoutrements, ten or twelve books I’ve already read and plan on giving to Mom, a pair of tennis shoes, and two suitcases.  My poor treadmill has become a holding area for household items headed for the attic or pending delivery to Mom or Goodwill.  I can’t even remember the last time I walked on the treadmill.  At least six or eight months.  Probably longer.   I’d planned on starting with fifteen minutes but figured I’d be gasping for breath after five.  Surprisingly, I went for twenty minutes.  I could have gone longer but didn’t want to be nursing aches and pains tomorrow.

So I’m working at it.  I usually need a few days of exercise before I begin to see the value in counting calories.  It’s a lot easier to do when I’m reminded about how much work it takes to burn off a couple hundred calories.

I’ve been gone a long time.  Got so down that I just kind of gave up on everything.  I withdrew from my friends and family.  Let one day roll into another and spent my time playing mindless games on the computer, watching mindless shows on TV and eating everything in sight.  What little thought I’ve invested into anything has been in my job.  Writing lesson plans, grading papers, trying to keep my head above water.

I finally made a decision about retirement.  I went back and forth.  I’m going to retire, I’m not going to retire…couldn’t really make up my mind.  Things crystalized for me over Christmas break.  We went to Florida and I spent some time walking in the woods and relaxing in the cabin.  Read a few books and spent every night out in the clawfoot tub looking at the stars.  Then, with a heavy heart and a whole bunch of resentment, I took out my laptop and began writing lesson plans, creating worksheets and grading papers.  Two whole days of my break but I finally got caught up and had the first couple of weeks of the new year planned out.

Then I came back to work for two days and they pulled all my freshmen for a couple of days.  Then they pulled my seniors.  Then they took my ROTC students for the ASVAB testing.  I was trying to work with half my students gone and wondering how they were going to get caught up with the rest of the class after missing out on lessons.  The program we’re required to use for grading went down for more than a week, the internet was up and down and running slow as all get out and my students were frustrated and off task.  I was involved in breaking up two fights that resulted in two teachers being assaulted and students going to jail.  I worked like a dog to get the National Honor Society Induction ceremony taken care of and I asked myself, “Why am I doing this?  How much longer?  Does any of it make any sense?”  And I made my decision.  My heart is just not in it anymore.  I’m done.

There’s a tremendous sense of freedom that comes from having made the decision.  I see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I don’t get as frustrated and angry with the bureaucracy because I know I don’t have to deal with it much longer. 

Twenty one years ago, I was hired a couple of weeks into the school year.  That means I have to go back the first couple of weeks next year.  Still, everytime something really gets on my nerves, I find peace in knowing it’s the last time I’ll have to deal with it. 

Now I have to take a good look at where I am, crawl out of this hole and get back to being me.  For starters, I’m blogging again.  I’m opening my eyes and looking around and wondering what’s going on with all my bloggie buddies.  Think I’ll find out.  Then, I’m going to clean the house and plan a decent dinner.  There’s been a whole lot of pizza and fast food the last few months.

I didn’t sleep well last night.  Actually, I slept pretty good from midnight to 5:00 but I just did a lot of tossing and turning after that until I gave up at 6:00 and went to the kitchen.  My back was hurting so I made some coffee and took it out to the spa.

The weather took me by surprise.  Yesterday was a chilly 45 degrees and it was windy.  I opened the door to a balmy 70 degrees and it’s been raining.   There wasn’t a breath of air stirring.  Kind of gray and muggy.  We have new neighbors and they keep their house lit up like a Christmas tree.  It’s actually rather annoying.  I miss the dark.  Their house gives off just enough light to feel like an intrusion.

We always go to our place in Florida over Thanksgiving and DH announced on Thursday that he doesn’t want to go.  Wants to wait until Christmas.  To be honest, I didn’t particularly want to go either so I’m going to be fixing a Thanksgiving dinner at home.  First time in at least five years.  I’ve been cooking Thanksgiving dinner in Florida but it’s a scaled down version.  Usually a turkey, corn casserole, green beans, stuffing, gravy and homemade biscuits.  If I’m going to stay home, I’m going all out this year.  Planning to fry a turkey, make stuffing and gravy, green beans, corn casserole, cranberry celebration, hashbrown casserole, chicken and dumplings, homemade biscuits, derby pie and carrot cake.  I want to include all the kids and grandkids favorites.

I started doing some heavy duty cleaning yesterday and I’m going to continue today.  It started when I went downstairs to look for my turkey fryer and saw all the junk and clutter down there.  I spent all day working on it and didn’t finish but I did manage to get a huge pile of junk set aside for donation and a big pile for the trash.  It feels good to be making headway.  I haven’t felt like doing a heavy duty shakedown for quite a while and I feel like I’m purging.  I got rid of a bread machine, ice cream maker, food processor, two coffeemakers, four lamps, etc.  If I haven’t used them for three or four years, I figure I won’t miss them. I found a box full of nice platters and serving trays that I didn’t even know I was missing.  I’ve been using the plastic disposable stuff for the last few years.  After taking a look at the tarnish on some of the silver pieces, I decided to put them back in the box.

My Honolulu Choo Choo is pretty much a bust.  Especially since DH doesn’t want to go there either.  I keep giving in to him because I know he feels awful and I always worry about how long I’m going to have him around.  On the other hand, I’m always angry that he won’t do anything about it.  If you eat garbage when you have diabetes, drink to excess every day and refuse to do anything even vaguely resembling exercise, you’re going to feel bad.  I fluctuate between anger and pity with him.  I always wonder, in the back of my mind, if there’s something he’s not telling me.  He really wanted to go on a cruise this summer and I didn’t.  I enjoy taking a cruise but there’s nothing to do but eat, shop and go to the shows.  And, since he doesn’t want to go to the shows, that leaves eating and shopping.  Instead, I talked him into going to an all-inclusive, adults-only resort in Cozumel.  I had pretty much decided on the Aura resort but one of my friends has been to the Sabor and she loved it.  It’s actually quite a bit cheaper to go to the Sabor but I didn’t want to go to someplace that wasn’t up to par and I’ve read a couple of reviews about the Sabor that weren’t exactly glowing.  Still, Lisa says the food was great, the accommodations were fantastic and she loved every minute so I’m thinking we’ll probably choose to go with the Sabor and save a bunch of money.  We can get roundtrip air fare from Louisville, eight days of activities, food and drinks at Sabor for around $2,000.  The same trip at the Aura will be around $3,200.  I’m hoping to switch trains and get on the Quinta Roo Choo Choo after Thanksgiving. 

Seems like an appropriate title for this post.  That’s where I am.  Far and Away from anyplace I want to be.  I haven’t written for so long because it seems pointless.  I miss chatting with my chicklets but I don’t like always writing about being depressed and falling farther and farther in the hole.  So I haven’t written.  I mean, what’s the point?  It doesn’t change anything.  And I’m smart enough to know that I’ve got some serious depression going on here but I’m also smart enough to know that I really can’t do anything about all the crap that’s causing it.

You guys don’t know me.  You might know my heart, just a little bit.  But you don’t know me so why don’t I just lay it all out there and be done with it?  I’ve seen my life fall apart the last two or three years and I don’t like what I’ve become.  Most of it is because of DH.  I’ve thought about divorce but I really can’t do that.  I love him and he loves me and we’ve been together for 44 years.  I’m not going to leave him.  Still, I’ve seen him go over the edge.  He’s become an alcoholic and it’s tearing me apart and changing everything I believe in.

He’s always enjoyed having a few beers in the evening.  Then he got diabetes and found out that beer is really bad because of the carbs so he started drinking vodka and coke.  I was really alarmed about that and tried to get him to stop but he’s been doing it for about three years and I’ve watched him go from a couch potato who enjoys a few beers in the evenings to a full-blown alcoholic who annoys the Hell out of me every single evening.  It’s like I have my husband in the mornings and some drunken stranger every evening.

He works from 4:30 every morning to 2:30 every afternoon, Monday through Friday.  He gets home at 3:30 and I can guarantee he’ll be hitting the bottle by 4:00 although he’s promised me over and over that he’ll wait until 5:00. He drinks an incredible amount of vokda and coke and has what he calls a “buzz” and I call “drunk” by 6:00 or 6:30 and then he becomes this totally annoying pain in the ass until he goes to sleep at 7:00.  Yeah, I said 7:00 p.m.  Sometimes earlier.  His persona totally changes and I hate it.  He calls for everyone and runs us ragged and staggers in the living room to give me a hug or kiss and tell me how much he loves me and I can’t even understand him half the time.  He calls David, “Daaaaviddd, come here.  Can you go out to my car and see if I left my keys out there?”  “Annnndrewwww, Can you go downstairs and get me a glass of ice?”  “Daaavidd, can you get me a bag of pretzels and bring them here?”  We all grit our teeth and count the minutes until he goes to bed.  And we all love him.  He’s been a wonderful husband and father for more than forty years and we hate to see him like this.

It’s getting worse and he can’t or won’t see it.  We’ve argued about it so much I just feel like making a xerox copy so I don’t have to keep going through it.

To give him credit, he knows he’d lose his job if he were ever to get an alcohol related violation so he’s really careful about it.  Never drinks and drives.  Never has an open container in the car.  Still, that just means he’s adamant about being home every evening.  He wants to be home by four.  Five at the latest.  So he can start drinking.  We no longer go anywhere or do anything.  He sits in the bedroom watching TV and drinking and I sit in the living room watching TV and hating my life.  If we happen to be out at 3:30 or so, I can see the change as he starts wanting to get home.  He gets irritable and argumentative.  If I have a couple of errands to run, he gets an attitude.  Like I should have done it earlier or why it can wait until tomorrow.  It’s like an internal alarm goes off and he has to get home immediately.  The only entertainment we get is going to the casino.  He can drink and play the slots and doesn’t have to drive home.  So, if I say, “Please, please, please get dressed and let’s go do something!”, he wants to go to the casino. 

I still have him on Saturday and Sunday.  At least for a while.  On weekdays, I don’t usually get home until around 4:30 and he’s already started drinking so I feel like I don’t even see my husband except on weekends.  And it’s getting worse all the time.  He’s becoming sneaky and paranoid.  He’s handled the bills for years and always done a great job.  I don’t have any idea who we owe or how much we owe.  Then I began getting a few phone calls and found out he forgets to pay things half the time.  He’s always saying, “I could have sworn I paid them!  Maybe not.  I’m sorry, honey.  I’ll send it out today.”  I’ve told him I’ll take over paying the bills but he’s stubbornly refusing to let me handle it and that scares me.

I told him I’d probably retire after this year and he told me he’s going to retire next year, too.  I said, “Wait a minute, you still have three or four years before you can retire” and he informed me that he’s going to take “early retirement” because he feels awful and doesn’t think he can continue working anymore.  So that means I have to.  If he takes partial retirement, we won’t have enough money to do much of anything and that’s NOT how I planned for my golden years.  On top of that, I know that the only thing that’s keeping him from drinking even more is that he has to work everyday.  What’s going to happen when he doesn’t have to?

I’m tired of writing about it.  I don’t want to think about it anymore this morning.  It’s Saturday and I have my DH for a while so I want to spend time with him.  Still, I’m really struggling.  I’m finding it impossible to focus on eating healthy and working out.  I’m beginning to get just like him.  I spend my evenings lying on the couch, watching TV and hoping he’ll keep out of my way so I don’t have to look at what he’s doing to himself.  It breaks my heart.

I’ve been working on a sleep study recently.  And working on trying to figure out why I have to pee every hour at night.  Still working on the pee thing.

On the sleep study, I did it last Thursday evening.  I thought I’d just run down the road (the center is only a five minute drive from where I live), sleep all night and then go to work the next morning.  Didn’t quite work out that way.

I had no idea that I’d be hooked up to so many wires and stuff.  I figured they’d have four or five wires.  A couple on your chest and a couple on your head or face.  Instead, I had at least forty of them.  I felt so constricted and uncomfortable, I was afraid to move all night.  And then, of course, I had to call my attendant every hour to unhook me and let me go to the bathroom.  The technician (nurse?) was a chatty soul.  She’d answer my call with “Okay, Ma’am, I’ll be right there.” and then she’d enter the room, switching on the light and talking a mile a minute.

“I could almost set my alarm by your bathroom visits.  I was telling myself, another five minutes or so and she’ll have to go to the bathroom.  It’s almost exactly an hour, give or take five minutes or so.  Let me get you unhooked so you can go and then we’ll get you tucked back in so you can get back to sleep.  Although I can tell you don’t get a lot of sleep.  You do a lot of tossing and turning and moving and you’re not getting into those deep rem periods that really help you get the rest you need.  It’s no wonder you’re tired all the time.  Your body is exhausted.  Is the room too hot or too cold?  You can adjust the temperature if you want.  I can get you some more blankets or pillows, too.  There! That’s got you unhooked.  I’ll just let you go to the bathroom and then you can call me when you’re ready to go back to bed.  Do you need anything?  A cup of water or anything.  No, I guess you don’t want a cup of water.  That’s for sure, hee, hee.  That’s probably the last thing you want.  There you go, honey.  You just call me when you’re ready to get back in bed.”

And then I’d spend 45 seconds in the bathroom and be ready to go back to sleep.  “Cheryl, I’m ready to go back to bed.”

“Okay, I’ll be back in just a minute.  You just hang on and I’ll be right there…”

And two or three minutes later, Cheryl would enter the room like a sparrow tending her chicks.  Fluffing up my pillow and hooking up my wires.  Chatting all the time.  “Let’s get you back to bed.  We’re getting some good data on you but we really need to see if we can get you into some rem stages.  Even if it’s just for an hour or so.  That gives us some really good information about a lot of things.  Do you need me to adjust the room temperature?  Are you comfortable?  You know, these wires are pretty secure.  I know it looks like you can’t move but they’re attached pretty good.  I usually don’t have any problem with them coming off so you don’t have to worry about moving around if you need to.  Unless you have to get up, that is.  But, of course, you know that.  If you need to get up, make sure you call me.  These microphones are really good.  They pick up everything you say and I can hear you if you need me.  You just call me and I’ll be here as quick as I can.  I’m right down the hall and I just have you and one other patient tonight so don’t worry about calling me if you need anything.  That’s what I’m here for.  I just want you to be as comfortable as possible so you can get some sleep and we can get the information we need.  We get lots of data during a sleep study.  We’re going to run almost a thousand pages of data on you tonight and all you have to do is just get as much sleep as you can.  Do you need another  blanket?  No?  Okay, I’ll just straighten up your covers and we’ll get you tucked back in bed so you can get back to sleep.  Okay.  It looks like you’re all fixed up.  Do you need anything else?  No?  Okay, I’ll be right down the hall if you need me.  You just call me and I’ll be here as quick as I can.

And then Cheryl would turn out the light and blow out the door leaving me exhausted in her wake.  I’d be wide awake and staring at the ceiling.  Tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable so I could get back to sleep.  I had asked them to wake me at 5:00 instead of 6:00 so I could go home and get ready for work but I hadn’t planned on the night being quite as lively as it was.  By the time I got home, I was dragging and looking at the possibility of taking a sick day.  Which I did.  Called in and left sub instructions and hit the bed.  Second sick day this year and we’re only two months into the year.  I slept until 11:00 and then woke up and DH and I ran some errands.  We were having lunch around 1:00 when the sleep study called and told me I definitely had sleep apnea and they wanted to set up an appointment for another sleepover with me hooked up to the CPAP.  They said I only slept about 3 hours during the eight hours I was in bed and I had an “episode” on the average of 31 times per hour.  More than five episodes per hour is an indication of sleep apnea.  According to an article I read, when air flow stops during a sleep apnea episode, the oxygen level in your blood drops. Your brain responds by briefly disturbing your sleep enough to kick start breathing—which often resumes with a gasp or a choking sound. If you have obstructive sleep apnea, you probably won’t remember these awakenings. They may or may not be accompanied by snoring.  Most of the time, you’ll stir just enough to tighten your throat muscles and open your windpipe. You may toss and turn or be awakened by frequent urination.  These are all signs that the body is in trouble and is doing whatever it takes to awaken and resume normal breathing.

According to the article, other signs of sleep apnea include:

Well, gee whiz, I’ve felt like that for the last two years.  I scheduled my next sleepover for last night because today is a parent conference day and I don’t have to be at work until 11:00.

I was prepared for another grueling night but it didn’t turn out that way.  Bryan was my technician and, as sweet as Cheryl was, I prefered Bryan’s minimalist approach.  He was pleasant but not overly talkative and had me hooked up and ready for bed in a flash.  I decided to call it a night at 9:30 because I didn’t have anything else to do and there wasn’t anything on TV.  I woke up to go to the bathroom and Bryan was in the room within 30 seconds of my call.  He turned on a nightlight, had me unhooked and ready to go in about 20 seconds and said, “There you go.  I’ll be back in just a minute.”  I went to the bathroom, came back in the room and sat on the edge of the bed and he walked in, hooked me up and said, “Okay.  Call me if you need anything.”  I asked him, “What time is it?” and was shocked when he said, “It’s 3:30.”  I felt like jumping up and down and cheering.  I’d been asleep for around six hours!  Unheard of!  Before I could really process the thought, I was asleep again and Bryan woke me up at 6:00 to go home. 

I’m totally amazed!  Not only did I sleep through the night with only one trip to the bathroom, I don’t remember tossing and turning at all.  I closed my eyes and slept like a rock.  I scheduled this study because I knew I’d be able to come home and crawl back in bed for a couple of hours before I have to go to work today but I’m not sleepy.  Instead, I took my coffee out to the spa, logged on to Facebook and did this post.  Now I’m going to do some laundry and then go to work.

Wow!  Can’t wait to get my CPAP machine.  DH gets to sleep with Darth Vader!

It’s Homecoming week and today is Pajama Day.  Do I dare?  We have PJ Day a couple of times a year and I always envy those teachers and students who are running around in comfy flannel pants and house shoes.  I always mean to join them but I never remember. 

I thought about buying new PJs since I really need some and I have to spend the night at the sleep clinic this coming Thursday while we try to figure out why I can’t sleep anymore.  But I didn’t.  And now, I need to decide if I’m going to wear an old pink flowered pair of flannel pants and a tee shirt to school today.  The best part would be be running the halls in a pair of Dearfoam houseshoes.  Guess I’ll go ahead and wear them but take a pair of jeans just in case.

I didn’t sleep much last night. Maybe it’s a good idea to wear PJs all day.  I might get a chance to catch 40 winks.

We needed to have a little work done on Manny so we took him to Nicholasville, Ky., just south of Lexington.  (Just in case you didn’t know, Manny is our RV: named after the big old mammoth elephant in Ice Age)  Had to go pick him up Friday.  I was off work so it seemed like a good day to get it done considering that Lexington is 75 miles from Louisville.

The RV was supposed to be ready by 2:00 but it was closer to 6:00 when they finally finished so DH took the wheel and I followed in my big old white Lincoln.  The sunset was absolutely brilliant.  One of those breathtaking red vistas where the sky looks like it’s on fire.  I had the radio blasting and the windows rolled down and kept getting one song after another that just seemed to bring back so many memories of Glory Days.  Started with Bruce Springsteen and I remembered  hurtling down an endless highway in the Mohave Desert in our old RV, dancing in the aisle and downing a bottle of wine while Bruce belted it out.

And then the radio changed to Remember When by Alan Jackson.

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start and it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other’s hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we’d never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin’ back, it’s just a steppin’ stone
To where we are, where we’ve been
Said we’d do it all again
Remember when

Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won’t be sad, we’ll be glad
For all the life we’ve had
And we’ll remember when

Remember when
Remember when

By the time it was over, I was all teary-eyed and wondering about that part where the children were supposed to grow up and move away and leave us with nothing but memories.  Didn’t hear anything about moving back home and sending all the grandkids for us to raise and care for.

The sunset changed and gave way to darkness and a sliver of moon as I barreled through the hills and valleys and it occurred to me that I was probably making a memory right then.  That someday I’d hear one of those songs I was listening to…Remember When or Glory Days or Rob Thomas singing My, My, My and I’d remember following behind DH in the RV and making our way home through the darkness with the windows down and the radio blaring.

The cat is running back and forth like she’s being chased by a bat out of Hell.  She’s actually chasing her tail (or being chased by her tail).  Dogs do that but I’ve never seen a cat fall for it.  Crazy cat.  I think she misses Steven.  This is about the time I’d be getting him up and he’d be petting and feeding her. 

I called in sick this morning.  Took me an hour to go online and request a sub, write up detailed lesson plans for said sub, publish new rosters and attach them to the request, call the school and leave a message for the secretary (along with another copy of my student rosters and detailed lesson plans), call and let DIL #1 know that I’m not taking Holly to school today and arrange for her to take her as well as bring her home along with Jake.  I have a really difficult group of students this trimester and I wouldn’t dare leave a sub with less than adequate plans.  I have probably a half dozen “challenging” students each period and can’t take a deep breath from the start of the day until it’s over.  Probably would have been just as easy to go on in but I had stomach cramps and diarrhea most of the night and that’s NOT something to deal with when you’re trapped in a room with 30 high school students.  It takes an act of God to even find time to go to the restroom on my planning period.

I know I’ve been absent.  It doesn’t take much to totally throw me off track these days.  The deal with Jake really upset me and got me down.  In answer to some of the comments from my last post…my friends and colleagues were very supportive.  Jake’s teachers sent him letters and post cards and his teachers from last year and this year sent letters of support to the administration as well as the board.  He was seen by a child psychologist who said, “I don’t know why they sent you to me except that it’s a part of the process.  Jake appears to be a well-adjusted student who isn’t a threat to himself or other students.  He made a mistake that any eleven year old might make and my recommendation will be for him to return to school and resume his regular schedule.”

Of course, I expected that reaction but it didn’t sit well with me.  The entire process didn’t sit well and I don’t know who to blame.  Maybe no one is to blame.  Jake did something stupid that any kid might do (can’t blame him), the AP did what he was required to do (can’t blame him), the child psychologist did what she was required to do (can’t blame her) and it all worked out in the end.  Jake is back in school after being expelled for six days (the administration even lifted one day of the suspension and let him back in a day early.)  Still…it really didn’t sit well with me.  I guess it’s like so many things in this post nine-eleven society.  Jake brought a fake grenade paperweight to school and he was expelled for five days and has the incident on his permanent record.  I just don’t understand or agree with the process.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget him crying so hard he couldn’t even talk because he thought he was going to be sent to a school for “bad” kids and would lose all his friends.  I don’t think a normal kid doing stupid things any normal kid would do should be made to feel like a criminal.  In all honesty, everyone treated him well.  The administration was firm but they weren’t nasty or mean to him.  Of course, Jake is a smart kid and he knew he was in big trouble.  You don’t have to yell at him or threaten him.  He was devastated to learn that he was being expelled.  And there’s something really sad about that.  Something heart wrenching when good kids are hurt so badly for doing kid things that aren’t meant to harm anyone or anything.  And Jake’s not the same.  He came back to Moore but he doesn’t feel the same about it.  Doesn’t feel like one of the “top dogs” anymore.  The leaders and over achievers.  The honor kids who set examples for others.  He’ll probably get over it but maybe not.  I remember when I got my first “B” in college.  Something changes and you never feel quite the same after that.  Like you’re riding high and get knocked down a few notches.

I know I wanted special treatment for Jake.  I wanted him treated differently than other kids.  Everyone followed protocol so I shouldn’t feel hurt about what happened.  The problem is that I know that other kids are treated special.  We have kids who are a monumental pain in the ass.  Kids that you know are going to wind up behind bars and I see them being given so many breaks and receiving special treatment all the time.  Protocol is set aside because of one thing or another and they get all kinds of breaks.  That’s why it hurt so bad when Jake was put through the process.

Enough.  It’s behind us and we’re moving on. Jake will handle it and his self-esteem may suffer but he’s a great kid and he’ll be okay in the end.  Me?  I took a real close look at retirement and decided to stay for a while.  I’m not sure if this will be my last year but it probably will.  I have a rough group of students and it takes a lot to deal with them everyday.  It leaves me worn out and I never get out of the building without putting in a couple hours overtime each day writing up referrals or calling parents.  I don’t get to do the kind of things I like to do with students because they don’t handle it very well.  I’m forced to keep them busy with lots of worksheets and “busy work” because they climb the walls if I try to let them do something fun or creative.  Maybe next trimester will be better but this one feels like my class is a dumping ground for every student that they don’t know what to do with.

And now, I guess I need to get back on the Honolulu Choo Choo.  I got derailed and I’ve got to get back on track.

I haven’t written for a while because I’ve been so bummed out.  Keep thinking it’ll get better but it hasn’t so far.

First off, I’ve been run ragged trying to keep up with school.  We had Open House which gave us a 13 hour day, followed by a couple of days when I had doctor’s appointments and then, last Monday was the real kicker.  Jake got in big trouble at school and I’ve been angry ever since.

Last summer, when we took the boys on vacation and they wanted to visit all those battlefields…Andrew bought a paperweight that looked like a grenade. Except that it says, all across the front of it, “This item is a paperweight.  NOT a weapon.”  Yeah, you guessed it, Jake took it to school.  So here we have this great eleven year old kid on the honor roll, the advanced program, the math team and the quick recall team and he’s never been in trouble for anything in school.  So what did they do?  They expelled him from school.  Yeah, you heard me…they expelled him. 

I was shocked.  No one at school would even talk to me about it.  They treated him like a common criminal.  I did find out, from the teacher, that Jake was showing it to one of his friends and she said, “Jake, what do you have?” and he told her, “It’s a fake grenade my cousin bought.  It’s not real but it looks like it.”  The teacher called security to escort him to the office.  She said she thought they would take it away from him and read him the riot act for bringing it to school.  She was just as shocked as I was that they would respond the way they did.

As I said, no one would even tell me what was going on.  I always take Jake home and the AP told me he was in trouble and he’d have to call his parents.  I said, “What did he do?  Is he alright?” and he assured me that he was fine and told me it wasn’t anything that I needed to be involved in.  Told me it was nothing personal but they would have to contact David or Stacy about it.  Said there are certain policies that they have to follow that don’t allow for any compromise.  The next thing I knew, the AP was calling Stacy and David to get up to the school.  They couldn’t get David because his cell phone wasn’t working right but they called Stacy at work and she had to come to pick up Jake.  They told her that he was expelled and would have to make an appointment with a psychologist and they would be sending him to an alternative school for students who are a threat to themselves or others.

I didn’t find out what was going on until I got home that day and David was able to contact DIL to get the details.  He was livid.  And, by the way, so was I. 

Are you f*cking kidding me????  The kid is ELEVEN years old.

And they know him.  In the afternoons when I’m tied up with meetings or parents or just trying to grade papers, Jake runs errands for the office staff while he’s waiting for me.  They all know him personally.  It’s not like they’re dealing with an unknown entity.  They send him running all over the building making deliveries and he feels like a big shot and thinks it’s a privilege that they truat him to help out.

I tried to call to ask him exactly what happened and he was crying so hard I couldn’t understand anything he said.  He didn’t understand exactly what he’d done that was so bad and all he knew was that he was expelled from school and wouldn’t be able to attend school where I work anymore and wouldn’t go to school with his friends anymore but would have to go to a different school for bad kids.

I was totally PISSED!  He was treated like a common criminal.  I fired off the following email to the AP:

Bill,

Had I known how serious the problem with Jake was, I would have been much more vocal yesterday afternoon.  As it is, I didn’t realize until David told me the consequences. 

Needless to say, I am totally shocked.  According to Stacy, Jake has been kicked out of Moore, expelled for six days and ordered to make arrangements to attend an alternative school for students who are disciplinary problems.  I’m assuming this is the situation.

Jake is 11 years old.  He has never been written up for anything and is not a threat to anyone at Moore or any other school.  We will NOT be sending him to “an alternative school for students with disciplinary problems”.  If necessary, we will send him to a private school.  He is a great kid who did something stupid and should be disciplined as such.  Not as a threat to the safety of other students.  I tried to talk to him last night to find out what happened but he was crying so hard I couldn’t understand anything he said.  Jake loves Moore and is an asset to our student body.  Quite frankly, Moore is lucky to have him and I’m very upset that he has been treated as if he deliberately did something so attrocious that he should not be allowed to interact with other students and attend our school.

We will be contacting our attorney tomorrow and starting the appeal process immediately.

I sent this email to the AP who handled the situation and cc’d the principal.  The next morning, my classroom phone rang and a member of the administration said, “Pat, this call didn’t take place.  I just want to assure you that we have to go through this process with Jake but we have no intention of sending him to an alternative school.  I’ve already contacted the people who will be handling this and told them we definitely want Jake back at Moore.  He’s a great kid who made a mistake.  Again, this call didn’t take place but I don’t want you to worry about it.  He’s going to be fine.”

At first, I was happy.  Then, I wasn’t.  The more I thought about it, the madder I got.  I mean, if you know Jake is a great kid and this whole incident was just because he didn’t understand the implications of bringing a fake weapon to school, why would you put him through this? 

 I kept thinking about how hard he was crying and how he kept telling me he didn’t know he couldn’t bring it to school and he’d do anything to keep from having to attend a school for bad kids and my blood started to boil.  I get threatened at least once a year.  Sometimes, two or three times a year.  Those threats are supposed to be taken seriously but nothing happens because we know the kids who act that way.  Know that they’re just venting and letting off steam and they’re not REALLY going to do anything.  So, if we make exceptions for those kids, why don’t we make exceptions for Jake and the kids like him?  I guess we figure the really good kids can handle it.  They’ll pick themselves up and get back in the game.

I got off work at 2:30 and I drove to Frankfort.  Got a copy of my retirement papers.  I decided to wait at least a week before filling them out.  I was so ready to just take a month’s worth of sick days and be done with it.  Now it’s been almost a week and I’ve reconsidered.  I don’t do things like that.  I would never finish up my career by doing something that I consider underhanded.  Still, I came pretty close.  Last Tuesday, they asked if I was going to handle the Highview Festival for the school again this year and I said, “No.”  On Wednesday, they asked if I would work the Showcase of Schools like I usually do and I told them “No.”  No reasons, no excuses, just “No.”

In the meantime, Jake has missed a week of school so far.  He’s seen the child psychologist who said he’s not a threat to himself or others.  Just a kid who made a mistake just like any other 11 year old might do.  I haven’t seen him this week.  DIL blames me for a lot of what happened.  Seems to think I could have done something and didn’t.  I can’t say I blame her.  As much as I’ve done at school, I would have thought they would have handled things differently.   DIL thinks that Jake shouldn’t even return to the school where I work because of how he was treated.  I can’t say I disagree.  And Jake, as much as he enjoys the school and his friends, doesn’t want to come back to Moore.  He’s been humiliated and feels ashamed and doesn’t want to have to face everyone after his expulsion is taken care of and he’s readmitted. 

What have we done to kids?  How do we take a great kid who works hard and loves school and make him feel like some kind of criminal for doing something that any eleven year old might do.  We’ve robbed kids of so much of their childhoods.  We don’t do Halloween or Christmas anymore.  Force them to wear uniforms so they look like everyone else and treat an eleven year old like a deranged terrorist.  This isn’t the educational system I signed up for. 

We have a new business teacher.  Her name is April.  She’s young and has only been teaching for a couple of years.  She took the computer lab that I didn’t want.  The small, cramped little room with 30 computers arranged so close you can’t walk around without making zig zags and detours.  She asked me for help in setting up some of the computers and getting her email straightened out before the students came back and we became friends. 

We’re down at the far end of the building.  Nothing is close to us.  Not the bathroom or the copier or the mailroom or the sign-in sheet.  We don’t even have parking spaces because all the parking spaces at that end of the building are “sold” to seniors who are allowed to paint and decorate their spaces.  Still, April’s bouncing around, hugging and kidding with her students.  She stands at the door, greeting each of them as they enter.  Everyone is talking and kidding around until the bell rings and then they all get quiet and get to work.  Her classroom is calm and serene and the lights are dim.  Classical music is playing and the kids are whispering; if they’re talking at all.  She’s loving her job and loving her students and all is well in April’s world.  

I’m across the hall.  I have the big room with 30 student desks and 30 computer stations.  I have 6 students who are labeled as BD (behavior disorder) in my four class periods.  Add one girl who’s legally blind, four students who are Learning Disabled and very low achieving and a sprinkling of other ECE issues in each class.  Another three students who speak limited English and the general assortment of kids who just wanna have fun.  My first and second period classes are a royal pain in the ass.  Then I have my planning period.  Fourth and fifth periods are actually pretty good and I enjoy working with them but I’m usually stressed out by the time I get them and just want some peace and quiet.

I look at April and then I look at myself.  April’s still in love with teaching.  I don’t think I am.  I feel frustrated and overwhelmed.  I don’t see it as a challenge.  It feels more like a burden.

I’m not sure if I would have seen what was happening if April and I hadn’t become friends.  She bounces over to my classroom everyday at lunch, running a hundred miles an hour, throwing her lunch into the microwave and running down the hall to the restroom while it’s heating.  She’s young and agile and bubbling over with enthusiasm.  Bows her head and says a fifteen second prayer over her lunch and then wolfs it down while chatting about all the wonderful things happening in her classroom.  And I’m loving her and seeing the contrast between us.  Kid’s deserve Aprils in their lives.  She’s bolting down the hallway in her six inch heels and I’m struggling to stand with my swollen ankles and aching feet.

And that’s when I realized that I need to retire.  Because I’m not April anymore.  I’m tired.  I’m not giving my students what they need and I’m not getting what I need.  It’s not fair to either of us.

More about this tomorrow.  For now, I’m going to help Andrew with redoing his room.  I know I could have done this in a weekend not so long ago.  Now I’m really struggling to get it done and I’ve been working on it for two weeks.

I’m still out here.  Still being run ragged by school.  All week, it’s been non-stop school stuff and I haven’t been able to just sit down and take an hour for myself.  Looking forward to the weekend so I can finally slow down and write a decent post.

I decided to retire.  The thought occurred to me yesterday morning when I had to crawl out of bed, grew stronger when I got to work and had to walk from one extreme of the building to sign in and go to the other end to get to my classroom and became totally obvious after being cursed and totally disrespected by a 15 year old with an attitude.  From 8:00 a.m. on, I knew I was done.  I just kept asking myself, “Why am I doing this?”  All day long, through a dozen different scenarios, I just kept thinking, “Why?”

I didn’t get out of the building until 4:30 again, two hours after my workday supposedly ends, brought papers home to grade and still had to finish up a power point that goes with my lesson for today.  Had to run out to Party Outlet to pick up wristbands for a dressdown day at school.  They didn’t have them so I had to go to another store.  I didn’t have time to work on Andrew’s room.  Didn’t have time to do laps in the pool.  Didn’t have the energy left to take a walk and my ankles were killing me from pounding the halls all day long anyway.

Why?

200

Funny how you can feel the chill in the air even though you’re inside the house and the air conditioner is set where it’s been for the last two months.  I didn’t want to roll out of bed.  Just wanted to snuggle down and sleep a little while longer.  At least I can do that next Monday but I’ve got to get through the next few days before enjoying a long weekend.

This was a busy weekend.  Spent most of it working on Andrew’s room and shopping.  I have my menu made out and the groceries are in for the week.  I was trying to incorporate a lot of the garden’s bounty into this week’s meals.  We have green beans, zuchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, okra, corn and peppers like you wouldn’t believe.  Never did hear anything from our friendly, non-communicative city councilman about the community garden but we made it through another season without them mowing it down.  Actually, I doubt if they care what we do.  Don’t know about your town but they’re not even mowing the grass in the highway medians around here.  We’ve shared so much stuff with the neighbors and everyone keeps talking about what they want to do next year.  We got tomato blight which took a toll on the homegrown maters but we got enough for ourselves and a few to share with the neighbors.  Hated to see that.  I was looking forward to having tons of heirlooms and doing some canning and freezing.

I managed to scarf up 22 points yesterday.  Workin hard to get to Honolulu but DH is trying to talk me into going somewhere else.  He thinks we’ll regret going to Hawaii because we’ll be bored.  Maybe he’s right.  We’ve been there so many times.  I’m open to suggestion.  He’s mentioned Mexico.  Maybe just spending three or four weeks around the Yucatan.  I like Mexico and it’s cheaper than Hawaii but it’s not like you can feel free to travel and see the sights on your own agenda.  Things are getting kind of scary down there.

199

Sorry, I took off for a couple of days.  It wasn’t that I was gorgeing on doughnuts or lying around watching TV for hours on end.  I was just busy.  School had me going like crazy and then, yesterday, we started redoing Andrew’s bedroom.  Now that Steven has left for WKU and has his own cozy little dorm room, we think it’s only fair that Andrew gets to redo his room.  We took him out yesterday and bought him a new entertainment center, new roman blinds, a new comforter, etc.  After we got home, we shampooed his carpet and threw out his old entertainment center, dresser, and assorted other junk.  Today, I hope to get his room painted.

So, I haven’t been doing what I need to do for staying on track.  Didn’t post here, didn’t weigh myself yesterday, didn’t jog in the pool.  All that stuff is so time-consuming.  Right now, I’m planning out my menues for the week, then I’m going shopping and I have papers to grade, lesson plans to write and painting to do.  It’s not that I’m not being good, it’s just that some of the extra points for writing and planning may get lost.  Still, I racked up 117 points last week and I need 114 so I managed to skim by.  I’ll try to be more on top of things but the main thing is to keep busy and I’m certainly doing that.

Gotta run!  Will post my weight after I take my shower and get a few minutes.

200 (Boo!  Not fair!  I’ve been so good!)

I forgot to set my alarm.  Woke up at 5:15 and realized it hadn’t gone off.  Good thing I woke up.  I was thinking it was a habit but then, I wake up about every hour or so to pee anyway so it’s hard to oversleep.  At any rate, I’m up and enjoying my coffee.

I went downstairs to get a load of laundry and saw a roach on the washer.  Gross!  I saw the first one about three weeks ago.  Right after DGD, Holly, came over for the weekend.  I think it traveled in her bag because DH told me he saw a couple of roaches in the trunk of the car after he opened it to get her stuff out.  I freaked out and sprayed all over the kitchen, hoping that would take care of it.  Didn’t see anything else for a while but DH told me he saw a couple of roaches on the counter the other morning when he got up for work.  Then, this morning, I saw one in the laundry room.  Damn it!  I really don’t know how to deal with these things since I’ve never had them before but I know enough to know that I better get rid of them immediately or they’ll take over.  I thought I’d spray the entire house this weekend but I just read up on it and the stuff that really works is also toxic to pets.  Not only do I have uninvited disgusting roaches, I also have DS’s uninvited dog and Steven’s uninvited cat.  Sigh…

Ughh…I feel creeped out knowing there are bugs hiding in my house.  I’m going to take everything out of the kitchen this weekend and thoroughly clean and set out boric acid.

Enough about that…I prefer not to think about it.

I did pretty good yesterday.  I have to accept that it’s very difficult to get 25 points in a single day.  Especially when I’m working.  I like to strive for the “perfect” day but it’s not going to happen that often since my new “perfect” day involves everything from not smoking, to eating healthy, drinking lots of water, cleaning the house, saving money, exercising and keeping track of a lot of stuff on sparkpeople and 3FC.  In terms of exercising and eating healthy, I done good.  But I only got 19 points.  Didn’t have time to do all the stuff I wanted to.

I have a new friend.  April is a teacher.  New to our school.  She has the classroom directly across the hall from me and she comes running over every day as soon as the kids go to lunch to join me.  Kind of forces me to take my lunch break.  I’m so jealous of you, Beerab, with the two 15 minute breaks and the hour lunch break.  Teachers get 20 minutes for lunch and that’s it.  I find it difficult to take my lunch break because it hardly seems worth it.  You barely have time to make it to the bathroom before the kids get back.  April’s good for me in that regard.  I’ve begun to plan for lunch because I know she’s going to join me every day so I might as well eat.

Gotta go.  Will be back to log in my weight after my shower.

199

Steven’s nasty tempered cat misses him.  She’s very anti-social (like Steven) but she jumped up on my bed about an hour ago and she’s followed me around since I got up.  Now she’s sitting beside me purring like there’s no tomorrow.  She’s used to me getting Steven up about now and running to meet him when he comes downstairs.  It’s strange to see her behaving like this.

I got a little disorganized yesterday.  Ate well and did my 100 laps in the pool but my eating was bottom-heavy.  Lite all day and then most of my calories late.  I don’t want to do that but it’s difficult to keep on track once the day starts rolling.

Again, I didn’t leave school until 4:15  Nine straight hours with a mere twenty minutes for lunch.  Not exactly conductive to good eating habits.  I left work, took Holly home, stopped to get a haircut and pick up groceries .  By the time I got home, it was 6:00 and I still had to do my laps.  Don’t know that there’s any solution.  That’s just the way some days go.

And now, if I’m going to get this one off to a good start, I’d better hit the shower.

199.5

Feels strange this morning.  Steven is gone.  Andrew has school but his first class is at 10:00 so he’s still upstairs asleep.  DH is at work.  I don’t even have to pick up Holly this morning because DIL says she has a doctor’s appt and she’ll take her to school afterwards.  I’ve been getting kids up and out the door for so long it almost feels like a vacation to only have to get myself ready.

I did pretty good yesterday.  Got 21 points.  Did my laps and kept my calories low but my meals were a little less controlled than I’d like.  I didn’t plan them yesterday and just kind of ate whatever was around.  Cereal for breakfast, leftover Thai noodle salad for lunch and then I sauteed a tilapia filet for dinner and threw it on two hot dog buns.  Not too great.  Calories were way under what it should have been and nutrition wasn’t exactly great but I had a doctor’s appointment after work, then I rushed home to do my pool laps and I just wanted to do something fast for dinner.  Didn’t get that point for planning my meals in advance yesterday and it really makes a difference.

I talked to Steven last night.  He’s having a good time.  Ran into a friend from high school and it sounds like the Master Plan program for new freshmen is keeping him busy.  He said they took them on a tour around the campus and up to the mall on the free campus shuttle bus yesterday.  Took them to lunch and showed them how to use their meal plan and what they could get with it.  Dinner was on his own and then his dorm group met up for a scavenger hunt.

It’s getting late.  Guess I’d better hit the shower and then come back on here and record my weight.

…Whoo Hooo!!  Back in Onederland (barely)!  Just weighed myself and I’m at 199.5.  I think this requires a celebration.  I’m going for 25 points today!

201

It’s official.  Steven is now a WKU Hilltopper.  I can’t believe it’s Monday morning.  I spent all day Saturday getting Steven packed and all day yesterday getting him unpacked and settled in.  We got home late last night and I felt like I’d missed my entire weekend.  Didn’t get to bed until 11:30.  Still, I woke up at 5:00 and wasn’t able to get back to sleep so I gave up.

Yesterday was rough.  I only scored 12 points.  I didn’t really expect it to be quite so busy and chaotic.  Even though I’d been warned.  I had a hard time getting DH up and going and we still had a couple of last minute items to round up and get packed.  In all the excitement, I didn’t eat breakfast.

Drove all the way to WKU and it took almost an hour for Steven to get through the line to check into his room and get the key.  I didn’t really understand that we’d have to wait in line for the elevator to take stuff to his room.  We had to unload all his stuff at the curb in front of the dorm and leave someone to watch it while ditching the car and trailer and then walking back.  At that point, they had sent a couple of volunteers to help us but it still meant everyone taking a couple of items and standing in a long line waiting for the elevators to get up to Steven’s room.  Then we’d come back down and grab a few more items and wait through the line again to deliver them before starting the same routine all over again.  There were only two small elevators and, with everyone trying to use them at the same time, it took forever.

We finally got all his stuff up to the room and then tried to figure out how on earth we were going to get it all to fit.  They had the beds set up on opposite sides of the tiny room so we stacked them as bunks.  That freed up some space.  Next, we slid the dressers into the closet areas.  That still left two desks, two bookshelves and two chairs.  We put the bookshelves at the head and foot of the bed and ran the two desks down the far wall.  In the process, DH knocked my i-Phone off the table and it hit the floor and broke.

Then came the unpacking part.  I think Steven took everything he owns.  We finally got it all sorted out and discovered his TV didn’t work.  We had to attend an orientation meeting for parents and, after we got out, we went in search of a TV.  Pulled into a Walmart and saw a second-hand thrift store in the same shopping center so we went in and managed to scarf up a pretty decent TV for $17.00.  Which is a good thing because we have a dozen TVs at home and I wasn’t happy with the idea of spending $150 at Walmart for a new TV.

We bought all the last minute refrigerated/frozen items like pancakes and frozen pizza, milk, butter and juice and headed back to the dorm.  Just got everything squared away and looking good in time for the parent/student orientation meeting at KAP.  The meeting started at 4:00 their time, which was 5:00 our time.  At that point, I hadn’t eaten anything all day long so I scarffed up 3 (THREE) slices of pizza and a sprite.  I would have gone for a diet coke and was surprised they didn’t have any diet drinks but they didn’t.

We finished up the meeting at 5:30 and just managed to get Steven back to the dorm in time for his 6:00 meet and greet with all the new guys on his floor.  We hugged and kissed and I teared up and headed for home.  He was smiling and waving as we drove away.  I know he’s excited and happy and hope he stays that way.

We got home at 9:45 (our time) and I still had to get stuff ready for school today.  DS had fixed spaghetti for his dinner and I ate a little.  Can you believe I was still hungry after three pieces of pizza?  No exercise yesterday and bad food choices.  I didn’t go over my calorie allotment but it was nothing but junk food.  I’m actually looking forward to getting back on track today.

And now, I’ve been posting so long that I’ve got to get a move on or I’ll be pushing the envelope to get to work on time.

201

Spent all day yesterday wrapping up odds and ends for Steven.  Buying groceries.  A mop and bucket.  New underwear and socks.  A new printer for his computer.  He’s in the shower as I write and we’ll be hitching up the trailer and hitting the road in an hour and a half to deliver him to Western.  I’m sure I’ll cry.  It’s been a long haul since he moved in with us as a scared little 7th grader.  Hated school, way behind in his classwork, bullied and tormented.  He’s come a long way.  I suppose he’ll always be introverted due to his Asberger’s but he’s pretty confident now and is really excited about the future.

I’m going to miss my baby.  I really do think of Steven and Andrew as my own children instead of grandchildren since they’ve lived with us for 7 years.  I hope I did a better job with them than I did with my own boys when it comes to their drive to go to school and plan for the futute.  Go, Baby, Go!

I tried a new recipe from Sparkpeople last night for dinner and it was fabulous.  Copied and pasted in My favorites.  Thai Noodle Salad.  Not sure how healthy it is…It has lots of vermicelli noodles and soy sauce but the overall calorie count was pretty low.  I always use rice vermicelli when I’m cooking Thai or Asian although the recipe doesn’t specify.  Still, the rice vermicelli comes in at 180 per cup and regular vermicelli at 220 per cup so it either keeps the calories count the same or even reduces it.  Don’t know if the soy sauce will make me retain water because I haven’t weighed yet for today but I used the reduced sodium.  It was really good!  Next time, I’m adding edamame beans to increase the protein and reducing the amount of pasta.  I served it with sliced homegrown tomatoes and thought I’d died and gone to Heaven.  But then, I love Thai food anyway.

Guess I should get my shower and get ready to go.  I dread it.  I know it’s bound to be a madhouse down there.  In fact, they’ve already warned us that “move-in day” is totally chaotic and busy.  We’re supposed to pull up to the curb and a bunch of volunteers will descend on us to help carry everything to Steven’s room.  Then we have to immediately move the car and trailer and find someplace to park it for the rest of the day.  Steven has a couple of mandatory welcome/orientation meetings he has to attend and then we have the parent meeting/pizza dinner with KAP this afternoon.  After everything…a 2 1/2 hour drive to get home.  Bowling Green is an hour behind us so their 6:00 p.m. meeting is really 7:00 our time.  We’ll be lucky to get home by 10:00.