cough..cough…hack…cough…what the Hell did I do? I set the oven to clean, went to take a shower and, when I came out, the house is full of smoke. I put two broiler racks in to clean but I’m wondering if there was something in the oven. No, there couldn’t have been. The broiler racks took up the entire space and I would have seen something. Where did all this smoke come from? cough…cough…I turned off the oven and opened a bunch of windows even though it’s 34 degrees outside. Guess I’ll sit her and post while I choke and wait until I can unlock the oven.
I feel like I just finished a six month meltdown/binge/out-of-body experience. I’m getting used to all the health problems going on with the family. It’s just been one thing after another. I’ve felt better the last few days. Starting to come around a little bit. Donnie has a full day of radiation therapy and chemo today so I have the place to myself. I plan on doing some cleaning and trying to work out a little bit.
I weighed myself the other day and I’ve weighed daily for three days in a row. Shocking. I’m up to 220 pounds. Wish I could take it off as easily as it goes on. A lot of the eating was just my way of coping, I guess. I’d just sit on the computer playing stupid games and mindlessly munching. I think what made me stop and look around was friends that I haven’t seen for a long time. With things going on with Donnie, a lot of our friends have come by and I’ve been embarrassed about how I look. Wondering how I let this happen. I made an appointment with my GP and told him that I think I’ve hit the point of total incompetency with my weight. The more I weigh, the worse I feel and the more my ankles hurt. I’m at the point where I almost can’t exercise. I told him I wanted something to give me an edge. Asked him to prescribe phentermine and he shot that idea down. Told me he did not want me taking it and suggested, instead, that I might want to consider lap band surgery. He said he never would have recommended it until the last couple of years but he feels like they’ve come a long way with it and I might want to think about it.
And I did…think about it. But I don’t think I want to go that route. Not real comfortable with the idea of surgery to correct something I should be able to do on my own. So I’m back in the race. I plan on continuing with my old workout tape. Adding a few minutes each day. I work best by challenging myself, keeping track of calories and blogging. So, that’s the plan.
Crap! Finally got the oven open and found that one of the boys left two slices of pizza in there. What is it with these guys? They seem to think that any appliance with a door is a food storage unit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found food in the microwave and oven. Instead of wrapping it and putting it in the refrigerator, they just shove it in the oven or the microwave. And I slid the broiling pan right over the top of it and didn’t even see it.
At any rate…I’m going to turn on my workout tape and do it until I’m ready to die then I’m going to walk around the block.