Yeah, Pumpkins. I was surprised, believe it or not, to find pumpkins all over the place at our local Kroger. I always park in the back and don’t see the front of the store. I decided to park out front yesterday afternoon and see if they had any decent perennials for the garden and found myself staring at a bunch of pumpkins. When did that happen? All these hospital and nursing routines this summer have caught me off guard. Even with the pool getting cold I wasn’t prepared for pumpkins. Where did my summer go?
I called Mom yesterday evening and she sounded pitiful. I felt bad for her and I’m racked with guilt this morning. Her veins are so tiny they couldn’t keep the IV in her arm and had to do a mini-surgery to use the veins in her neck. She sounded so weak and helpless and said she wanted me to come and sit with her. I told her I just couldn’t go down there right now but it made me feel guilty.
I never know with Mom. I don’t know if she’s really that bad off or not. I DO know that my house is a wreck and I have tons of stuff to do around here because I’ve spent so much time away from home caring for her. I asked Mom if anyone had been to see her yesterday and she said, “Only Donna. And she brought that baby so we couldn’t really visit. She doesn’t seem to understand (or doesn’t want to) that Donna has taken on four foster kids and she’s dedicated to them. She’s raising them. Mom seems to think she’s babysitting or something.
Little sister retired from the medical field. She was a respiratory therapist for years and she’s the one who manages Mom’s medical issues. She’s the one the doctors talk to and Mom’s primary physician is a close friend of hers. She’s also exhausted with dealing with it. She has four foster children ages 10 months to 14 years. Between the problems the 14 year old has and the demands of a ten month old and a two year old, she’s pretty busy. She told me the other day that she’s constantly on the phone trying to deal with arrangements for Mom and it seems like she can’t get a minute’s peace. Said she felt like just turning the damn phone off. Guess that explains why she didn’t call me back yesterday or this morning to give me the real story on how Mom’s doing.
I wish I knew how serious this latest problem is. I don’t know if I should say to Hell with the house and my own obligations and go see her or not. It would be a three hour round trip and then I’d have to sit in a wooden chair to visit for a few minutes. Mom’s not even in a regular room. Just a tiny little room off the ICU unit that barely has space for the bed and a wooden chair.
I’ll probably go tomorrow. This whole situation has me feeling so guilty and inadequate. But then, Mom always manages to make her children feel inadequate. It’s just the way she is.
Guess I’ll try to call her and see how she is today. I wanted to talk to little sister first. Get a handle on the situation before I make a committment to drive all the way down there tomorrow. If Donna says, “Yeah, she’s in pretty bad shape. Getting weaker and weaker each day.” then I’ll definitely go. But, if Donna were to assure me that she’s about the same as she has been, that’s a different story.
– 20 minutes later –
Finally blew up little sister’s phone until she answered. She says Mom is much better. Says they’ll probably discharge her to a nursing home in the next couple of days. She says, “Mom is playing you. Just like she always does. Of course she’s sick. She’s 87 years old and she’s gotten herself in this predicament because she refused to eat for weeks after her surgery. She’s much stronger since they started feeding her through the tube and they’re getting all her vitals back where they should be since they’re finally getting some nutrients into her system.”
So that takes care of that. I’m going to call Mom and chat with her but I’m not driving down there.