20thNovember

Patty’s Biscuits

1 1/2 cups self-rising flour (White Lily, Martha White, or other southern flour)

1/2 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. baking soda

5 Tablespoons unsalted butter (2 of them melted)

1 to 1 1/8 cups buttermilk

1 cup all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 475.  Spray an 8″ round cake pan with cooking spray.

In a medium bowl, mix self-rising flour with salt and baking soda.  Add three tablespoons cut up cold butter and work with fingertips until the lumps are no larger than small peas.  Stir in buttermilk and let it stand two or three minutes.  Dough should be very wet.

Pour all purpose flour on a plate.  Scoop up about two tablespoons of dough and drop onto plate.  Sprinkle more flour on the dough.  Gently pick up clump of dough and shape into a soft round by passing it back and forth from hand to hand, shaking off excess flour.  Place in middle of prepared pan.  Dough will spread out.

Shape nine more biscuits the same way.  Brush the tops with melted butter and bake 16 to 18 minutes until biscuits are evenly browned.  Cool in pan before serving.  Makes 10 biscuits.

20thNovember

Corn Casserole

Thanksgiving just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without Corn Casserole. 

2 cans Green Giant corn, drained

1 cup sour cream

2 Tbsp. flour

2 Tbsp. chopped onion

1 tsp. salt

6 strips bacon

Cook bacon and drain, reserving 2 Tbsp. drippings.  Saute onion in drippings until soft. Blend in salt and flour.  Add sour cream.  Do not boil.  Add corn and heat.  Top with crumbled bacon.

20thNovember

Cranberry Celebration

I’m getting ready for Thanksgiving by searching high and low for everyone’s favorite recipes.  It occured to me that I should just go ahead and post them on here under My Favorites so I can always find them.  Forgive me, Chickies!  Just turn away.  I’m even frying the turkey.  One of my family’s favorites is a copy cat recipe of Kroger’s Cranberry Celebration Salad.

Ginny Moorehouse’s Cranberry Celebration Salad.

1 pkg cherry or strawberry Jello
1 cup boiling liquid
1/2 cup each orange juice and water
1-3/4 cups cranberry sauce, jelled type
1 cup diced celery (opt but good)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
3/4 cup crushed drained pineapple
Dissolve Jello in boiling liquid. Add cranberry sauce and blend. When it starts to congeal, add other ingredients. This will not get real firm.

20thNovember

Early morning coffee

I didn’t sleep well last night.  Actually, I slept pretty good from midnight to 5:00 but I just did a lot of tossing and turning after that until I gave up at 6:00 and went to the kitchen.  My back was hurting so I made some coffee and took it out to the spa.

The weather took me by surprise.  Yesterday was a chilly 45 degrees and it was windy.  I opened the door to a balmy 70 degrees and it’s been raining.   There wasn’t a breath of air stirring.  Kind of gray and muggy.  We have new neighbors and they keep their house lit up like a Christmas tree.  It’s actually rather annoying.  I miss the dark.  Their house gives off just enough light to feel like an intrusion.

We always go to our place in Florida over Thanksgiving and DH announced on Thursday that he doesn’t want to go.  Wants to wait until Christmas.  To be honest, I didn’t particularly want to go either so I’m going to be fixing a Thanksgiving dinner at home.  First time in at least five years.  I’ve been cooking Thanksgiving dinner in Florida but it’s a scaled down version.  Usually a turkey, corn casserole, green beans, stuffing, gravy and homemade biscuits.  If I’m going to stay home, I’m going all out this year.  Planning to fry a turkey, make stuffing and gravy, green beans, corn casserole, cranberry celebration, hashbrown casserole, chicken and dumplings, homemade biscuits, derby pie and carrot cake.  I want to include all the kids and grandkids favorites.

I started doing some heavy duty cleaning yesterday and I’m going to continue today.  It started when I went downstairs to look for my turkey fryer and saw all the junk and clutter down there.  I spent all day working on it and didn’t finish but I did manage to get a huge pile of junk set aside for donation and a big pile for the trash.  It feels good to be making headway.  I haven’t felt like doing a heavy duty shakedown for quite a while and I feel like I’m purging.  I got rid of a bread machine, ice cream maker, food processor, two coffeemakers, four lamps, etc.  If I haven’t used them for three or four years, I figure I won’t miss them. I found a box full of nice platters and serving trays that I didn’t even know I was missing.  I’ve been using the plastic disposable stuff for the last few years.  After taking a look at the tarnish on some of the silver pieces, I decided to put them back in the box.

My Honolulu Choo Choo is pretty much a bust.  Especially since DH doesn’t want to go there either.  I keep giving in to him because I know he feels awful and I always worry about how long I’m going to have him around.  On the other hand, I’m always angry that he won’t do anything about it.  If you eat garbage when you have diabetes, drink to excess every day and refuse to do anything even vaguely resembling exercise, you’re going to feel bad.  I fluctuate between anger and pity with him.  I always wonder, in the back of my mind, if there’s something he’s not telling me.  He really wanted to go on a cruise this summer and I didn’t.  I enjoy taking a cruise but there’s nothing to do but eat, shop and go to the shows.  And, since he doesn’t want to go to the shows, that leaves eating and shopping.  Instead, I talked him into going to an all-inclusive, adults-only resort in Cozumel.  I had pretty much decided on the Aura resort but one of my friends has been to the Sabor and she loved it.  It’s actually quite a bit cheaper to go to the Sabor but I didn’t want to go to someplace that wasn’t up to par and I’ve read a couple of reviews about the Sabor that weren’t exactly glowing.  Still, Lisa says the food was great, the accommodations were fantastic and she loved every minute so I’m thinking we’ll probably choose to go with the Sabor and save a bunch of money.  We can get roundtrip air fare from Louisville, eight days of activities, food and drinks at Sabor for around $2,000.  The same trip at the Aura will be around $3,200.  I’m hoping to switch trains and get on the Quinta Roo Choo Choo after Thanksgiving. 

 

19thNovember

Far and Away

Seems like an appropriate title for this post.  That’s where I am.  Far and Away from anyplace I want to be.  I haven’t written for so long because it seems pointless.  I miss chatting with my chicklets but I don’t like always writing about being depressed and falling farther and farther in the hole.  So I haven’t written.  I mean, what’s the point?  It doesn’t change anything.  And I’m smart enough to know that I’ve got some serious depression going on here but I’m also smart enough to know that I really can’t do anything about all the crap that’s causing it.

You guys don’t know me.  You might know my heart, just a little bit.  But you don’t know me so why don’t I just lay it all out there and be done with it?  I’ve seen my life fall apart the last two or three years and I don’t like what I’ve become.  Most of it is because of DH.  I’ve thought about divorce but I really can’t do that.  I love him and he loves me and we’ve been together for 44 years.  I’m not going to leave him.  Still, I’ve seen him go over the edge.  He’s become an alcoholic and it’s tearing me apart and changing everything I believe in.

He’s always enjoyed having a few beers in the evening.  Then he got diabetes and found out that beer is really bad because of the carbs so he started drinking vodka and coke.  I was really alarmed about that and tried to get him to stop but he’s been doing it for about three years and I’ve watched him go from a couch potato who enjoys a few beers in the evenings to a full-blown alcoholic who annoys the Hell out of me every single evening.  It’s like I have my husband in the mornings and some drunken stranger every evening.

He works from 4:30 every morning to 2:30 every afternoon, Monday through Friday.  He gets home at 3:30 and I can guarantee he’ll be hitting the bottle by 4:00 although he’s promised me over and over that he’ll wait until 5:00. He drinks an incredible amount of vokda and coke and has what he calls a “buzz” and I call “drunk” by 6:00 or 6:30 and then he becomes this totally annoying pain in the ass until he goes to sleep at 7:00.  Yeah, I said 7:00 p.m.  Sometimes earlier.  His persona totally changes and I hate it.  He calls for everyone and runs us ragged and staggers in the living room to give me a hug or kiss and tell me how much he loves me and I can’t even understand him half the time.  He calls David, “Daaaaviddd, come here.  Can you go out to my car and see if I left my keys out there?”  “Annnndrewwww, Can you go downstairs and get me a glass of ice?”  “Daaavidd, can you get me a bag of pretzels and bring them here?”  We all grit our teeth and count the minutes until he goes to bed.  And we all love him.  He’s been a wonderful husband and father for more than forty years and we hate to see him like this.

It’s getting worse and he can’t or won’t see it.  We’ve argued about it so much I just feel like making a xerox copy so I don’t have to keep going through it.

To give him credit, he knows he’d lose his job if he were ever to get an alcohol related violation so he’s really careful about it.  Never drinks and drives.  Never has an open container in the car.  Still, that just means he’s adamant about being home every evening.  He wants to be home by four.  Five at the latest.  So he can start drinking.  We no longer go anywhere or do anything.  He sits in the bedroom watching TV and drinking and I sit in the living room watching TV and hating my life.  If we happen to be out at 3:30 or so, I can see the change as he starts wanting to get home.  He gets irritable and argumentative.  If I have a couple of errands to run, he gets an attitude.  Like I should have done it earlier or why it can wait until tomorrow.  It’s like an internal alarm goes off and he has to get home immediately.  The only entertainment we get is going to the casino.  He can drink and play the slots and doesn’t have to drive home.  So, if I say, “Please, please, please get dressed and let’s go do something!”, he wants to go to the casino. 

I still have him on Saturday and Sunday.  At least for a while.  On weekdays, I don’t usually get home until around 4:30 and he’s already started drinking so I feel like I don’t even see my husband except on weekends.  And it’s getting worse all the time.  He’s becoming sneaky and paranoid.  He’s handled the bills for years and always done a great job.  I don’t have any idea who we owe or how much we owe.  Then I began getting a few phone calls and found out he forgets to pay things half the time.  He’s always saying, “I could have sworn I paid them!  Maybe not.  I’m sorry, honey.  I’ll send it out today.”  I’ve told him I’ll take over paying the bills but he’s stubbornly refusing to let me handle it and that scares me.

I told him I’d probably retire after this year and he told me he’s going to retire next year, too.  I said, “Wait a minute, you still have three or four years before you can retire” and he informed me that he’s going to take “early retirement” because he feels awful and doesn’t think he can continue working anymore.  So that means I have to.  If he takes partial retirement, we won’t have enough money to do much of anything and that’s NOT how I planned for my golden years.  On top of that, I know that the only thing that’s keeping him from drinking even more is that he has to work everyday.  What’s going to happen when he doesn’t have to?

I’m tired of writing about it.  I don’t want to think about it anymore this morning.  It’s Saturday and I have my DH for a while so I want to spend time with him.  Still, I’m really struggling.  I’m finding it impossible to focus on eating healthy and working out.  I’m beginning to get just like him.  I spend my evenings lying on the couch, watching TV and hoping he’ll keep out of my way so I don’t have to look at what he’s doing to himself.  It breaks my heart.