That’s the name of the conference I’m working this week.  It’s for middle school teachers.  This group has lived up to the name.  They work like a well-oiled machine.  My role is to provide a go-between for the school and the conference staff.  I wish they all worked as well as these guys do.  It lets me actually take a lunch break and do some blogging.

Things are not going well with DH.  I’m taking him out to dinner tonight and having a heart-to-heart with him.  I can’t do this for him.  His doctor told me he really needs to start taking better care of himself and I’ve been trying to encourage him and working hard to see that he has the support and tools that he needs but he’s got to take responsibility for himself.  I’m not going to let his resistance derail me any more than it already has.

I got off yesterday and raced to the store to pick up all the ingredients for Grilled Cuban Lime Chicken with mango salsa, fresh green beans for sauteing and home-grown tomatoes.  For dessert, I picked up that new Jello Mousse stuff that’s really good and sugar-free.  I was really tired (because I’m fat and totally out of shape) and all I wanted to do was drag my sorry butt home and watch TV but I kept pushing the cart down the aisles and making sure I got everything I needed to prepare a healthy dinner that would meet with DH’s expectations.

I got home and he was lying on the couch watching TV.  At 4:30!  I said, “Can you go out on the porch and get the rest of the bags for me?”  He immediately bellows at the top of his lungs, “ANDREW!  Come down here and help your grandmother.” 

I said, “Why are you calling Andrew all the way down here from upstairs?  Just step out the door and grab the bags.  He said, “I’m tired!  I worked all day.  He can go out there and get the bags.”

Okay, fine, I don’t care.   Just get the damn bags in the kitchen so I can get dinner going.  I ran into the bedroom and changed into a bathing suit and headed to the kitchen to get a jump on dinner before doing laps.

I started seasoning chicken breasts, chopping and dicing fruit to make salsa and blanching green beans and I called out to DH, “I’m going to be about five or ten more minutes in here and then we’ll go out to the pool and get that done so we can relax for the rest of the evening.”

Yeah, you guessed it…He let me know, loud and clear, “I’m not going out there!  I’m tired and I don’t want to do anything but relax and watch TV.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I thought, “I am not in the mood for this.  I’m doing all I can to get myself motivated and I don’t want to be argueing with him about whether or not he’s going to eat right, exercise or take care of himself.  I’m just going to let it go and take care of myself.  I can’t make him want to improve his health and I’m not going to let his attitude upset me. ” 

I don’t want to go into the details but he interpreted my silence as being angry and started making all kinds of excuses and complaints about how hard he works and how he ought to be able to do what he wants in his own home, yadda, yadda, and then I did start getting mad and reminded him that he was the one who made a commitment to start eating right and exercising and how he had asked me to help him get motivated and how it was an imposition on me not only to plan all the meals, do all the shopping, fix all the dinners and still be a chearleader for him when he’s behaving like a child and doing everything he can to resist change.

The end result was that he pouted until dinner, gulped it down and went to bed.  I steamed and sizzled until dinner, gulped it down (it was pretty good, by the way) and didn’t go to the pool.  I sat around in a bathing suit until 9:00 at which point I finally admitted that I was NOT going to jog laps and I watched So You Think You Can Dance and then headed to bed.

Today, I’m going to have a heart to heart with DH and let him know what I’m going to do.  Whether or not he chooses to join me is totally up to him.

2 Comments

Ini (Song of the road) says 22nd July @ 23:42

Hi,

I can so hear you with the troubles you are having with your hubby.

I should not saying much here, because I am not even married. But just wanted to say that don’t worry. you are doing well. You can’t do more. Big changes some times take time. Perhaps if you don’t say anything to him and do lots of good healthy things for yourself, he will feel left out and would automatically join the party. Again, I am no good at relations anyway. So you do know much better what works for you. But bottomline anyway - please don’t worry and please don’t stop doing things for yourself.

Love and hugs,

Ini

susan says 23rd July @ 10:44

When I saw your “Magic in the Middle”, I thought it was a new diet :) I’m looking for a little Middle Magic, don’cha know.

Good luck with your man. What is it about ‘em that makes ‘em be that cantankerous? There must be something in that DNA makeup…


Your Comments

You must be logged in,to post a comment.