Sistah Pat

Andrew, who is absolutely chomping at the bit to get his new computer (the bank was closed yesterday and he has all his money in a savings account) woke me up a few minutes ago.  I was sleeping so good.  He knocks on the door and comes in at 7:45 saying, “Nana, aren’t you sleeping too long?”  Perhaps.  Not now….

I have so much to do today.  I have to take DGD, Holly, to get an outfit to wear to the funeral home and funeral for her other grandfather.  Andrew’s got to get his computer.  The kids have to meet with the GAL at 1:00 and DS meets with his attorney at 2:00.  Steven has a doctor’s appointment.  At some point, we all have to go to the funeral home.  Oh yeah, I’ve got to order flowers.  We need to get the surveillance cameras working, too.  I think I should be the coordinator:  I’ll take Holly, You take Andrew, You take Steven, I’ll order flowers, you mount the cameras, yada, yada, yada.

The police took the report.  A local policeman who has had this beat forever.  I was surprised that he seemed to know all of us.  DS and he were downright chatty.  Seems they both share an interest in restoring old cars and they’ve met several times through that.   Youngest DS knows him because he used to eat at a restaurant he worked in.  At any rate, he was nice and made the report but said there wasn’t much else they could do.  We had to tighten all the lug nuts to get the car towed home and he said they probably wouldn’t find any prints.  We told him about DIL but we also told him we really didn’t believe she would do something like that.  He said she might not do it herself but she might have shot off her mouth so much that one of her friends would take it upon themselves to do it.  He also mentioned that there are a group of kids in the neigborhood that have been vandalizing property and said he’d have a chat with them.  In fact, he recalled a few months ago when someone threw a huge rock through my car window while my car was sitting in the driveway.

After considerable thought, I’ve decided that DIL would not do this.  I really don’t think she would.  Her friends?  Boyfriend?  That’s another story.  She brought the kids by last night at 7:00 and was as sweet as could be.  I can’t believe how she acts.  Like she didn’t have a meltdown in my front yard Thursday afternoon.  Of course, this is how she is.  She can be a raving lunatic one minute and sweet as can be the next.  She can scratch and claw and spit and kick and then be as cool as a cucumber when the police get there.  Appearing totally rational and believable to anyone who doesn’t know better.  DS took the boys home last night.  First time he’s had them overnight in the last couple of weeks.  I even wondered if he should take them overnight but decided that’s ridiculous.  If she drops them off Sunday evening so she doesn’t have to get up early Monday morning to get them ready, that’s the time she drops them off for visitation.  As far as I’m concerned, he can take them home overnight.  It’s not my job as the intermediary to be a babysitter.  It’s just my job to transfer the kids.

I’m going to talk to the GAL today and find out if I’m over reacting and how I should be dealing with the caseworker and DS is going to talk to his attorney and try to get a handle on what he needs to do.  The caseworker has chosen not to communicate with him at all and he doesn’t want to deal with her.  His fear is that she will contribute that to a lack of motivation or caring about getting the kids back.  I suspect the GAL will tell me that I should report activity to the caseworker but make sure everything is recorded.  I just want to verify that I’m not over stepping the boundaries.

Alright…gotta get moving….

6:30 - Long day.  Got Holly looking good and took her over to the funeral home.  Went downtown to talk to the GAL.  Left the GAL and went to DS’s attorney’s office. Stopped and got a late lunch for the kids.  Had an hour of so of “wait time” between DS leaving and DIL getting here and he played with the kids.  I like a 30 minute window between them.  I want DS gone by 6:00 and I call him when she leaves.  Today, he was caught up in playing one of the new games he got them on the playstation and she showed up at 6:10.  He ran out in the back yard and I ran out front and apologized for him being there and told her she was 20 minutes early.  She said that was okay, grabbed up the kids and left.  She said she has to work early all week so I told her to go ahead and bring the kids at 6:30 each morning.  I told her I’d decided not to spend the night at my retreat and would be able to take them at 6:30 and make the 60 mile drive to Lexington in time to get there by 8:00.

Things went pretty much as we expected today.  The GAL talked with the kids and didn’t tell me what he discussed with them but told me that the living situation was very sticky.  Okay on the outside but was something the case worker needed to keep a close eye on.  I gathered from that that DIL is living in a basement apartment of her boyfriend’s house.  We all know what’s going on but it still meets the guidelines.  As for her changing the visitation, the GAL said it was to our advantage to have the kids as much as possible and her willingness to bring them early, pick them up late, and drop them off the night before shows the caseworker that she’s not all that good about being able to stick to the visitation schedule but DS and I are always there to make sure the kids are cared for.  His advice?  Let her fall on her face and just be there to pick up the pieces.

DS’s attorney thinks everything looks good for him and gave me the name of someone who can help me set up my Blackberry to record phone conversations.  He said he thinks we should be able to wrap this up in October.  The next hearing is October 1.  He said the caseworker is an Investigative Caseworker.  It’s her job to jump into the fray, quickly figure out the best way to keep the kids safe, try to cover her ass so it looks like the best solution and then get out of the way for the real caseworker.  He said it’s not unusual for the Investigative Caseworker to align herself with one side but she still has an obligation to work with the other side.  He said this particular caseworker is a bitch (he didn’t use the word but he mouthed it)  and he hates working with her.  He said, “I have to work with these people and I try to maintain a decent relationship with them.  This one?  I don’t even try to keep a good relationship with her.  I just try to keep things under control until she’s out of the picture.”  He had lots of good things to say but it’s getting late and I’ve got to get dinner going so I’ll try to give more details tomorrow.  For now…the kids are gone and I’m going to enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet before Holly comes back.