Sistah Pat

We got in late Sunday evening and it was total chaos.  We had to get my sister’s stuff and drop her off in Elizabethtown, then we had to sort through two weeks worth of stuff to find what belonged to Jake, Scout, Holly, and us.  It seemed like everyone needed something and I finally collapsed in bed at 1:00 a.m. after everyone had left.

I got up at 6:30 to get Andrew up and then drove him to work, came home, went back to bed and slept until 11:30!  I can’t believe I slept that long.  I was exhausted all day long yesterday and just straightened the house and watched TV.  Went to bed at 11:00 last night and I’m feeling better today.  I swear, I’ve been to Hawaii many times with a six hour time difference and killer 12 hour flights home and never felt as whipped as I did yesterday.  Two weeks with three grandkids under ten and a sister who’s almost totally incapacitated in close quarters was just too much.  We really overextended ourselves this time.  DH gave me a big hug after we got home and said, “Never again, Baby.  Never again….”  Yeah, I know, Honey.

So…where do I begin to catch up?  I don’t really think I can.  I think I’ll just begin with where I am.  Dietwise, I could care less.  I haven’t thought about it for more than two weeks and there’s no way I’m getting on the scale today.  In the two weeks that we were gone, I ate an entire gallon of Breyer’s coffee ice cream and had three mochachinos.  We had pizza for dinner twice and countless sandwiches and chips.  Oh yeah, on the road, the kids usually wanted Mickey D’s so let’s throw a few double cheeseburgers and fries in there for good measure.

I talked to the social worker yesterday and she filled me in on a lot of hesaid/shesaid stuff that left me feeling sick of the whole thing.  She doesn’t believe a lot of what DS has told her.  I don’t really blame her.  Some of the stuff DIL pulls is pretty hard to believe.  He told her that she worked as a stripper five years ago when they were separated and was arrested for prostitution.  The social worker said there was no record of that and accused him of lying.  DS took offense at her saying he was lying and got a bit of an attitude.  I told the social worker that it was, indeed, true and I don’t understand why it’s not in her record.  She admitted to it in court and it should be somewhere in her record.  I reminded the social worker (in a polite manner) that she also didn’t know that DIL had been married before and lost both kids from her first marriage.  She agreed that there seem to be a lot of blanks and said she still doesn’t have all the paperwork.  She feels strongly, however, that DS is not as innocent as he appears and says her husband is a police officer and they don’t just automatically arrest the man.  There has to be a reason.  I didn’t want to get into all of it.  I was exhausted yesterday and I didn’t feel like beating a dead horse.

She also told me that DIL said we have a child molester in the family and that I took my other two grandkids from their parents and took custody of them and one of them has Asburgers syndrome and he stares at Jake and Scout and it creeps them out and scares them.  That pissed me off bigtime.  My husband’s nephew, who lives in another state, was suspected of molesting a ten year old when he was fourteen.  We’ve never had anything to do with him and have only seen him at family gatherings three or four times in the last twenty years.  DIL was at one of these family gatherings and I told her I didn’t want this guy around any of the kids because of what happened.  I can’t believe she’d turn that situation around to make it look like we have child molesters coming out of the woodwork.  I only told her about it because I take no chances with kids safety and didn’t even want him around the kids.  I also told the social worker about Andrew and Steven needing help because of their ECE issues and how I enrolled them in the school where I work so I could make sure they get the help they need.  I told her that they stay here because they and their parents chose that option.  Not because I took them from their parents.  I told her I do not have custody of them and have never tried to get custody of them.  I told her that they’ve gone from failing school and hating it to being honor students and loving it.  I explained that Steven has Asburgers and he can get a kind of blank stare when he’s trying to think about what he wants to say and she was well aware of the symptoms and understood what I meant.  I also let her know that Jake and Scout adore the twins and are not “creeped out” or scared of them.

Overall, like I said, it just left me feeling sick of the entire mess.  I don’t need all the drama and this kind of lying, manipulating and mud-slinging leaves me feeling depressed and humiliated.  I don’t feel like I should have to defend my family against this kind of garbage and I feel degraded to even have to address it.  I told DS what was said and he told me that DIL has always said that she thinks Steven is kind of “creepy” because of the way he just stares at people sometimes.  I’m furious that she would be so shallow when she understands his disability and knows how hard he’s trying to concentrate when he gets that blank look.  In previous years, he would just mumble something and try to withdraw from social situations because they make him uncomfortable.  Now, he stops and thinks about what he wants to say and works hard to make sure it comes out the way he wants it to. I’m proud of the effort he makes now to think carefully and try to express his feelings instead of shutting down.

I don’t feel like writing anymore.  I’m getting depressed again.  Think I’ll clean house for a while.

1:00 - Okay, the house is presentable.  I’m still in a blue funk.  Several emails and messages from friends who want to get together but I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.  Wish I could pull out of this ugly mood but then, when I really think about it, things have been pretty crappy for quite a while now so maybe I’m entitled to be depressed.  God knows, I’ve got enough reasons to be.  Still, I promise not to whine anymore and won’t write until I can stop being such a wet blanket.  I’m going to turn off the phone and go watch TV on the couch.  I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.

Ouch!  Scout and Jake have sunburn.  I slathered sunblock spf 50 on them yesterday but I guess the water washed it off pretty quickly.  They’re not crispy.  Just pink enough to be a little uncomfortable.  Yesterday evening they began to get a little pink.  First the back, then the cheeks, then the tummies.  Hopefully, they’ll be over it when they wake up.  Still, they’re not going to be able to go to the beach without tee shirts today.

Yesterday evening we went strolling down the block.  They saw alligators at a miniature golf arcade and bought mood rings and other goofy souvenirs.  We finished up the evening with ice cream cones for them and a frozen mochachino for Little Sister and me.

DIL must have been super pissed off yesterday.  DS called yesterday evening and she had him served with yet another EPO.  It wasn’t granted but carries a court date of July 13th so he’ll have to deal with it then.  How many chances does she get????  She lied and got an EPO and then he got one the next day that overrode hers.  She applied for another and then didn’t bother to show up for court and his was upheld.  Now she’s applied for another? 

We’re going to take the boys down to the pool and beach for a couple hours this morning and then we have to get out of here.  We’re going to drive up Highway A1A to Jacksonville Beach and then head west to go back to the cabin.  I know of a nice little stretch of beach with lots of shells and we promised the boys we’d take them there on the way back.  We’ll get to the property late this afternoon and tomorrow will be spent taking down the pool and getting everything loaded back into the RV so we can head home Saturday morning.  We’ll be back home on Sunday and I’ll update then.

It’s definitely been about the kids.  Even now, I’m sitting in the condo drinking my coffee and trying to wake up and they’ve asked me a half dozen times when we’re going to the beach.  I wish they were old enough to go on their own but they’re not.  I have to sit there and watch them like a hawk.  Maybe I’m too nervous or overprotective but I can’t even relax and read my book.  I feel like I have to keep my eyes on them every second.  I should run the lifeguard off and just take a seat in his tower.  No…he’s pretty good eye candy.

DS is in court this morning to face the trumped up assault charges DIL put on him.  I’ll be on pins and needles until he calls and lets me know what happened.  He called and said she actually showed up.  I’m not surprised.  She’s all about control and making herself look like a victim.  He said she came to court with a half dozen of her old friends that he hasn’t even seen in a couple of years.  These are her old bar-hopping, dopehead friends.  DS said the’re all sitting over on the other side of the room glaring and smirking at him.  I’m sure she brought them for the purpose of intimidation or as “character” witnesses.  DS can’t figure out what they’re doing there.  He says she hasn’t even seen them in years.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I’m sure she’s seen them recently.  Who does he think she’s been hanging out with when she’s taking off every weekend?  Enough about that.  It’s probably going to be a couple of hours before they call his case.

So…what have I been up to?  We’ve been at the cabin for the last week and a half.  DH and I bought a base cabinet and counter top and installed the kitchen sink.  Nice!  I had intended to buy all the kitchen cabinets and get them in but the expenses with DS put that on hold.  We had some old used cabinets we originally intended to put in the cabin but I decided I didn’t want them.  Still, the new one is open stock so we got the base cabinet under the kitchen sink, a countertop, and a stainless steel double sink installed.  That was $600.00.  DH temporarily installed the old cabinets for the time being and it’s nice to be able to wash dishes without using a plastic tub.

We filled the pool, one of those big old inflatable things that’s 42 inches deep and 18′ diameter.  The kids spent almost every minute in it.  They’re all tanned and happy and I can’t believe how much they’re nagging me to go to the beach.  You’d think they’d be tired of swimming but they’re not. 

Little sister is having it rough.  I had no idea how limited she is.  When I had my ankle surgeries, I was able to use crutches and crawl and get in and out of a tub.  She can’t do much of anything but sit on the couch.  I thought she’d be able to take her scooter around the property but it kept bogging down in the soft soil.  She managed to get on the riding lawnmower a couple of times but said her back hurt the next day so that put an end to her mobility.  I talked to the lifeguard yesterday evening and asked him if he’d ever seen wheelchairs on the beach.  This is Daytona Beach and vehicles drive on it so it’s packed pretty hard.  He said they have beach wheelchairs with big round tires and all we have to do is ask and they’ll get her one.  Never heard of that before but I’m going to give it a try today and see if she can get out on the beach.

Okay, I’ve got to get moving.  I’ll update more after DS calls.  I miss chatting with you chickies and will try to catch a couple of posts after I get the kids taken care of.

4:00 p.m. - Okay, I gave little sister and the kids the last five hours and now I told them to leave me alone for a couple of hours.  Little Sis has gone to the store with DH and I’ve got all the kids slurping down ramen noodles and watching TV.

DS called and said they’ve decided to go to trial.  They offered him a plea and he was sorely tempted to take it but thank God he didn’t.  He did that once before because he thought that would put an end to it.  Nothing happened to him but the record shows that he pled to being a public nuisance.  Our attorney was really angry that he took the plea because he wanted to take it to trial but DS just wanted it over and done with.  Now, it shows that he’s already pled guilty to being a public nuisance in the past and it makes it that much more difficult to prove his innocence now.  Mothers, don’t ever let your sons plead guilty to ANYTHING if they’re in the right.  It’ll come back to haunt them.  DS just wanted everything to be over with but now it’s going to bite him in the butt.  Nevertheless, I’m so glad he didn’t take the plea this morning.  He insisted on going to trial so that’s what they’re going to do.  Our attorney says he wants to go to trial but he said there’s always a possibility that DS could wind up doing some jail time if he’s found guilty.  I have to admire him for not rubbing DS’s nose in it and saying, “I TOLD you not to plead last time!”  It’s scary.  Still, he can’t let DIL get away with this.  He has to stand up for himself this time.  I can only hope she doesn’t get a bunch of her dopehead friends to lie for her.  She’s going to have some pretty nasty stuff come out when they go to trial.  I like to think that justice will prevail.  It has in the past.  Still, I won’t rest easy until it’s over with.  This is why DS took the plea before.  It’s so scary to think about what can happen when you go to trial. It all depends on who the judge or jury chooses to believe and DIL can put on quite a show when she wants to.  I think DS told me it’s scheduled for the 23rd.  Now we’ve got to think of who to call as witnesses.  Of course, when it gets right down to it, no one really knows everything except DS and DIL.  I’ve seen her be violent on a couple of occasions but I’m his mother so I don’t know how much weight that’s going to carry.  Her ex went through the same thing but he washed his hands of her years ago and he’s certainly not going to testify.  Besides, he took the kids and moved to Arizona.  DS’s ex boss could testify about her coming to work and slapping him and making a scene at his restaurant but he retired and is now in a nursing home with Alzheimers.  I don’t know.  I guess we’ll get through it somehow.  I just wish there was someone who had actually witnessed her violence other than me.  Her mother knows about it but she’s certainly not going to testify for us.  DH’s aunt saw her pitch a fit one time and push and scratch DS but she lives in California now.  I guess when it comes down to it, DS is going to have to rely on family.  We’re all he’s got.