Sistah Pat

Woke up to a downpour at 5:45.  Tried to go back to sleep but it was impossible.  It’s 7:00 now and still pouring.  Kinda feels like the story of my life.  What happened to my life, anyway?  It feels like it’s not mine anymore.

Oldest DS and DH got into a bitter arguement last night.  I started it.  The other DIL came over yesterday evening and dropped off DGD and her cousin so I had two more for dinner.  Her father is dying and can’t last more than another day or two.  She came back late and DS jumped on her for taking money from his wallet.  She got upset and left.  I told DS he shouldn’t have jumped on her.  Her father is dying and she has enough going on.  He said, “OH!  And I guess that gives her the right to take 40 bucks from my wallet when I told her she could have twenty?”  I said, “No, it doesn’t make it right but she’s your wife.  Her father is dying.  Instead of jumping on her, you should be doing everything you can to help her.  You should have said, “If you need money, just ask me.  I’ll do whatever I can to help.”  He got mad and said, “Yeah, it’s always something with her.  Her car’s broke down, her father’s dying, anything to get money from me and I don’t have any money.  I can’t afford to take care of her.”  DH didn’t appreciate the way he was talking and proceeded to jump into it asking where his money goes because he’s sure not paying any rent or utilities around here.  He carried on about DS spending all his money on himself and his girlfriend instead of taking care of his responsibilities and his kids.  Of course, he’s right.  We’re really fed up with DS’s lack of responsibility.  He’s living here and doing only the minimum to help out.  It’s just that I didn’t need the fireworks with everything else that’s going on.

Youngest DS goes to court this morning.  The attorney says not to worry but I do.  I’d be an idiot if I didn’t.

My car was parked in the back last night and oldest DS told me he used it to run up to the store last night.  Said he rolled the window down and the power window got stuck.  Smoke and sparks started coming out of the window and he had to pull over because the car was filling up with smoke.  He said it damaged the woodgrain on the door panel and all the wiring is burned up and the window is stuck down.  He threw a tarp over it because of the downpour.  I can’t WAIT to break the news to DH.

What ever happened to my life, anyway?

3:45 - I’m so sick of all this crap.  DIL won this one.  DS took a plea.  They made it so easy it made me sick.  Our attorney said we could go to trial but it would be long and expensive and there was a chance he could go to jail if he were found guilty.  On the other hand, if he pled to “harassment with bodily contact”, he’d be required to attend anger management classes for 28 weeks and stay out of trouble for two years.  I didn’t advise him.  I told him he would have to make the decision.  Our attorney told him it’s obvious that family court is favoring DIL right now and that would not look good for him.  On top of that, she brought the kids!  I couldn’t believe it!  DS and I were shocked to see them at a hearing where she’s accusing him of assaulting her.  I know what they saw and I know what they heard because they talked about it right after it happened.  There was nothing they could say that would have any effect on the charge of assault so we couldn’t figure out why they were there unless she had coached them.  DS just kept saying, “What the Hell is she doing?  Why on earth would she subject the kids to this?  He just kept sitting there dwelling on it and I could tell it was eating him up that she would bring the kids.  No wonder she didn’t ask me to babysit.  She already had plans to use them.  He just finally said, “I’m sick of this.  I’m going to take the plea.”  And he did.

Shortly after he signed the papers, our attorney told me the prosecutor would like to speak to me.  I went in the room and she said, “I understand that you’ve been very helpful in assisting with the kids and transfer of DIL’s belongings but I understand your son has been withholding Ms. E’s belongings as well as those of the kids.”  I said, “What????  He most certainly has not.  He has given her everything she asked for.”  DIL put on this innocent little girl face and said, “Please don’t misunderstand.  His mother has been wonderful.   She’s done everything she can to help make this go smoothly but he just won’t give me my belongings or any of the kids belongings.  I said, “He got all of her stuff together and she picked it up Sunday.  He sent over clothes for the kids and a few toys.  I told her he was still going through cabinets and closets and there would be odds and ends that he would send over for her to pick up when she drops the kids off.  She said that would be fine.  This conversation isn’t even necessary.”  DIL said, “The kid’s don’t have any of their games or toys or anything.  I feel so bad for them just walking around with nothing to do and no toys or books or anything.”  I said, “They have two game systems and he gave her the Wii system and all the games that go with it because that’s their favorite.  He also gave her a new TV that he bought the boys for Christmas.”  DIL said, “Oh, yes, he did give them the games but they need books and other toys and I have a lot of belongings missing as well.”  I said, “What belongings are you talking about, Stacy?  He gave you everything except for some odds and ends.”  She said, “I have a mirror and some dishes and a book case among other things.”  I said, “You took everything four years ago.  You totally stripped and stole everything he owns.  You lived in the house for three months until he could get you evicted and you never sent a single item of clothing or anything else to me during the entire time I had custody of the kids.  Everything that’s in that house was purchased by him or by us.  You haven’t contributed anything.  As for the dishes, I bought all the dishes myself to replace the ones you stole from before.”  She said, “I’m talking about my grandfather’s dishes.”  Our attorney said, “Yeah, she wants to take everything again.  That’s typical Stacy.”  I said, “Fine, whatever belongs to her, we’ll try to get taken care of immediately.  As I said, This meeting is totally unnecessary and she knows it.”  We left and our attorney said, ” I hate that effing b*tch.  I’m so angry that David put himself in this position.  You know he did all this for her.  He took her back and cleaned her up and set her right up there so she could turn around and stab him in the back.  He just didn’t want to listen to me or you or anyone else.  You’d think he would have learned a long time ago but he took her back and look what it got him.”  This is the same attorney who worked with us four years ago and he totally knows the score.  He knows her because he’s a family friend so I don’t have to convince him about her.  He’s witnessed it for himself.  I was pretty surprised, however, at how much hatred he obviously has for her.

So, that’s where we are.  She’s pulling out all the stops and she’s gaining ground.  This is just one more thing stacked against him.  I don’t see how on earth he’s ever going to get those kids back.  It’s going to be a long time and a lot of work.  In the meantime, she’s getting everything she wants.  She signed up for housing assistance and food stamps and she has everyone falling all over themselves to help her be “successful”.  I asked DS about the mirror, dishes, and bookcase.  He said she has an old mirror that she glued seashells on.  Half the shells fell off and she took it down.  He thinks it’s in the garage.  He hasn’t even seen it in ages.  The “dishes” consist of three mismatched plates that she put in the cabinet with the rest of the plates.  He said those must be the dishes she’s talking about and he doesn’t have a clue about any bookcase.  He said the only one they have is in the entertainment center we bought for him when he refurnished four years ago.

Sistah Pam is taking me out tonight.  I’m not allowed to talk about any of this.  She’s been keeping us occupied ever since we got out of court and is determined to take my mind off all this mess.

5:00 - OMG!  I can’t believe this.  We left court and came home.  Sistah Pam wanted me to go to Habitat for Humanity with her and then to an architectural salvage yard to look for old decorative wrought iron pieces to mount on her stockade fencing.  I asked if she minded if DS went with us because he was feeling pretty down and she said no problem.  She picked us up right after we got home from court and we went to Habitat, the salvage store, and then had lunch.  After that, we drove over to a concrete place in Indiana to look at some garden statues.  She brought us back home and told me to change clothes and she’d pick me back up in a couple of hours to go out to dinner.  DS has been with me every single minute today.  The police just called about ten minutes ago and said someone kicked in DIL’s mother’s car door after court today and she gave them his name and said they had a bad court appearance today.  I can’t f*cking believe this!  What the f*ck is going on here????!!!!  Did it really happen?  Did she make it up?  Is it an old dent that she’s trying to blame on him?  DID SHE DO IT HERSELF??  This is scary shit.  This woman is truly unbalanced.