Halfway expecting the stork to bring me two little boys today.  DS worked yesterday and then picked up the kids around 11:00.  He called me a half hour later when he got home.  Said there’s a notice on his door to call child protective services concerning an injury Jake received during his altercation with DIL.  That’s where his foot was cut when DIL was trying to drag him out of the house.

BTW, DIL is not a DIL.  She and DS have never been married.  I just say DIL because it’s so much easier and explains the relationship better.  Perhaps I should say DS’s SO but that’s too confusing.  Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if they gave me temporary custody of the kids until things can be investigated.  This is the same thing that happened five years ago when I had custody of the kids for 1 1/2 years.  The courts felt that DIL was unfit but they also came down on DS because DIL had accused him of domestic violence so many times.  After a LONG investigation, it was determined that she was the problem but DS was told that, by staying with her and allowing the kids to be exposed to the constant fighting, he was not putting the welfare of the children first.  DIL can be charming and charismatic when she’s not throwing a hissy fit and it took 1 1/2 years of investigation by CPS last time to figure out what was going on.  It shouldn’t have taken so long but the courts wanted to give her every chance to clean up her act so we had to wait while she went through rehab, counseling, and a half dozen “one more chances”.  In the meantime, I had to be available and have the kids ready to go everytime she had visitation and she didn’t show up or call on a regular basis.  I had to arrange my life around her visitation.  Have the kids ready to go 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after the scheduled time.  Be at home for her to bring them back 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after the time she was supposed to bring them back.  Often, she’d call me and say, “I’m bringing the kids back.  I have something to do.” and I’d be halfway across town thinking I had another 2 or 3 hours before they were due back but I’d have to rush home to be there when they arrived.  I’m praying we’re not going to have to go through that again.  The only thing worse than going through all that again would be if she were to get custody. During this time, DIL was only allowed to take the kids during her court arranged visitation but DS was allowed unlimited access as long as the kids lived at my house.  The social worker had no problem with him moving in and living here as long as he left during the hours before and after DIL was scheduled to pick them up.  Thank God for that!  Essentially, DS took care of the kids.  He did everything he could but I still had three additional people living here for 1 1/2 years.  DS would get the kids up.  He’d take the oldest to school and come back home with the youngest.  He’d take care of the youngest until it was time for him to go to work.  Either DH or I would pick the youngest up from daycare when we got off work and be there when Jake got off the school bus.  I’d fix them dinner, help Jake with homework, and get them to bed.  DS would get in around midnight and we’d do the same thing all over again the next day.  Thank God social services had no problem with DS having unlimited access the kids.  It just took forever for the court to give him full custody.  We had three different social workers during this time and they all did the same thing; came to the case with an open mind but a natural assumption that the kids would be better off with their mother, spent time visiting and working with DS and DIL, and then told DS he needed to stay away from her because she was nothing but trouble. 

Enough of the DS/DIL saga.  I’ll call our attorney in a little while and see if he knows what’s going on.  I kept myself busy yesterday evening so I didn’t sit around and watch TV.  I fixed a greek dish for dinner that had chicken breasts browned with Pam, two entire heads(?) of garlic cloves, white wine, chicken broth, two thinly sliced lemons, and some other stuff.  Seemed like it took forever to trim the chicken, brown it, pull it from the pan, add broth and wine and simmer all the garlic for 40 minutes until it was soft, add the chicken, simmer some more.  Put it all in a baking dish and top with all the sliced lemon and bake for another 30 minutes.  Then, it tasted like crap.  I don’t know what the problem was.  Maybe it was me.  I’ve fixed this dish several times in the past and it was really good but I didn’t like it last night.  No one else seemed to have a problem with it.  I fixed jasmine rice in chicken broth and added sauteed onions and almond slices to it and fresh broccoli.  Also fixed a big bowl of lemon linguini for all the kids since they love it.  By the time dinner was ready, I was so sick of dealing with it I didn’t want to eat it.  Still, I did.  The only thing I really liked was the broccoli and rice.  Think I’ll keep dinner simple tonight.


Sunny says 12th June @ 10:50

Goddddd, it’s just amazing he’s still allowing her in ANY of your lives. Someone had to have called CPS, and I’m guessing it was her. 🙁 Hang in there darlin. I fear this is going to get uglier before it gets better. 🙁

:: hugs ::

beerab says 12th June @ 10:54

Goodness- I hope “dear DIL” didn’t call CPS or something! I really hope everything goes in your sons favor and above all I hope this time he REALLY REALLY learns from this!

My friend with her husband’s ex from hell dealt with it for years before her and hubby finally one- and yup that lady could make herself look as charismatic as possible- but unlucky for her they kept every email she ever sent them (all nasty) and every single phone message she ever left them which were ALSO nasty. It took time but now life is so much better for them- if your son does what he has to and stops giving into this woman then he’ll finally have peace! And so will you and the boys *hugz*

beerab says 12th June @ 10:54

OMG it’s too early- I meant finally WON!

firefly says 12th June @ 20:11

Big hugs to you Patty. Just a really really big series of hugs. Take care of yourself. Enjoy that SPA!!

And just FYI – it’s a garlic bulb (I grew up within smelling distance of Gilroy, CA – garlic capital of the world!)

susan says 12th June @ 21:08

Patty, can you use your blog as evidence against ISO (In-Significant Other)? It really gives a time line ~ a concise history of the unbelievable behavior on her part.

Sorry you have to go through all this. Wish all us chickies could come over and have a spa session with you. We’d all have some libations then get our pitch forks and torches and go after that witch. On the way back, we’d stop at the Good Wimins Store and pick out a new one for DS.

Doncha hate it when dinners go and flop on you after a long period of prep? Been there, done THAT a few times.

brseay says 12th June @ 21:17

I just about choked when I saw your title…I thought that DIL was expecting, just to add a bit more drama to all of your lives.

Hopefully social services will allow your son unlimited access again if they kids are placed with you.

I think the chicken sounds fabulous, I might copy the recipe 🙂

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