This entire episode with DS and DIL is so frustrating. I bailed him out last night and there was a bail. A thousand dollars of my money is now sitting idle and I won’t get it back for months. I can’t begin to tell you how angry I am about this whole thing. DS is asleep in the guest room. DIL took out an emergency protective order and he can’t go home. He can’t go within 500 yards of his kids, his house, or her. She has the kids, all his clothes, his house, and everything he owns, including his car and he’s not allowed to go home. He’s not allowed to call the kids. On top of that, the bitch called the house yesterday evening when I was downtown paying the bond and told my oldest DS that she had to work today and would need me to babysit. Pardon my french but F— that Sh*t! DS#1 lied to her and told her he thought we were leaving for Florida today so he knew I wouldn’t be able to keep them. I wish he wouldn’t have lied. I wanted to tell her exactly what I felt about the entire situation and let her know, in no uncertain terms, that she created this whole mess and she could deal with it. I’m not babysitting. Pay somebody like the rest of us. Work all day and then come home and take care of your kids like the rest of us. Work all week and then spend your weekends taking care of your children like the rest of us. My idiot son is sitting in jail because you were out whoring around all weekend and came home to pick a fight and cause all this drama and you want me to babysit???
She’s pulled this so many times I’ve lost count. She knows the system inside and out and knows exactly what to do to get the most out of it. Although DS has full custody of the kids, she filed for an emergency protective order and has temporary custody of the kids. I get so angry at the system. All they have to do is look at her record but they don’t see that. There she is, total drama queen, standing before a judge sobbing and crying and telling him how violent DS is and he’s sitting in jail and can’t defend himself. Of course, he’ll get the kids back, but it’ll be a nightmare of court appearances and it’s going to cost time and money.
I’m so angry with DS it’s unbelievable. He got released around midnight last night and started to tell me how she was gone all night Friday, all day Saturday, and finally came home around 4:00 am Sunday morning and picked a fight with him. He started in about how she was slapping him and kicking him and I blew up. I told him I didn’t want to hear another word. Told him I could recite the whole thing from past experience and I was done with it. You wouldn’t believe the tirade that came from me. I told him I would not get involved this time. If she winds up with the kids, so be it. He put himself in this position and has been warned by his family, his friends, and his attorney that he needs to get rid of her but he refuses to help himself.
I can’t even write about it anymore. I’m getting stressed out and angry again. She’s got his house, his kids, his car, his phone and everything he owns and he’s asleep in my guest room in his underwear without even a change of clothes. He’s got scratches on his chest, his face, and his arms and bruises on his legs from her attacking him. She has a scratch on her arm and gets the kids while he goes to jail.
9:00 – My eyeball hurts. I’m afraid it’s going to pop out of my head and roll around on the floor.
There is some small amount of justice in the world. I spent most of the day downtown with DS. I know, I know….I said I wasn’t going to get involved. I had to. I was finally calm enough this morning to listen to DS’s story. Of course, I still think it’s all his fault because he shouldn’t be with crazy DIL. Still, I had to help him because she can’t take the kids.
In a nutshell, she came in and picked a fight with him. She started kicking and scratching him and said she was taking the kids. He told her she wasn’t taking the kids and she went down the hall and started dragging them out of bed. He manhandled her to the front door and pushed her out. She went and got some friends of hers that he didn’t know and brought them back to the house. She had told them that he beat her up (she did have a scratch on her arm and her arms were red where he tried to restrain her and push her out the door) and they knocked on the door, rushed in when DS opened it and held him back while DIL went in and got the kids. He was struggling and fighting with them to keep her from taking the kids and they broke the glass top on the coffee table. DIL drags the kids through the living room and 9 year old DGS cuts his foot open on the glass. DIL goes outside and is putting the kids in the car when the police arrive and she tells them he was beating her up and threatening the kids. The police never even asked him what happened and wouldn’t listen to anything he tried to tell them. They walked in and cuffed him and didn’t even want to hear what had happened from him after they’d already talked to DIL and her friends. The police called an ambulance for DGS whose foot was bleeding like crazy and they took DS away as the medics were taking care of Jake. They took DS to jail and DIL got an EPO and emergency custody of the kids and the order said he couldn’t come around her, his house, or the kids. The thing that was so infuriating was that the police did not want to hear anything he had to say. They took him to jail with nothing but his driver’s license.
After hearing what happened, I knew I couldn’t sit this one out. The kids are not safe with her when she’s manic and she’s definitely manic. I went downtown with DS this morning because he was going to take out an EPO on her and he was afraid the judge wouldn’t let either one of them have the kids until they straightened the mess out. I went so I could take custody if necessary. The important thing is to get the kids in a safe environment. I had custody of them for 1 1/2 years in 2004 and 2005 and knew the court had already checked out DH and I and approved us for custody of the kids.
We were actually shocked when the judge looked over the petition, did a little record checking, and came back furious that things had gone the way they had. He was really angry that the police gave DIL the kids and didn’t bother to check out her record before doing so. He was angry that they hadn’t given DS an opportunity to explain things. He issued an EPO against DIL ordering her to vacate the premises immediately and have NO contact with the kids or DS.
The police went to the house this evening, served her with the papers, gave her five minutes to gather her purse, say goodbye to the kids, and take only what she could carry from the house. They called DS when it was done and he’s now home with the kids. In the five minutes she had, she managed to take his phone, the phone charger, his house keys, mailbox key, and all the cash in his wallet. The police stayed outside and the kids stayed with the next door neighbor until DS and I arrived. I couldn’t believe they let her lock the door and take the keys. DS had to break a window to get in.
It’s sad. It would break my heart to have to walk away from my kids and it’s sad that they don’t understand what’s going on. She’s not even allowed to talk to them on the phone. It’s also sad that DS keeps exposing them to this kind of ugliness. They deserve so much better. The judge had a few stern reprimands for DS and he certainly deserved them. The judge pointed out that the court had gone to great lengths to determine what was in the best interests of the children and he was not happy to find that DIL and DS were living together. He pointed out that continually exposing the children to this kind of environment was NOT acceptable and that if he wanted DIL to be caring for them, the court would have ordered that four years ago. He said she is not to be in contact with them until further notice. I hope DS listens. He says he won’t let her come back. Do I believe that? I wish I could.
I’m exhausted. This is all so sick and ugly.