Sistah Pat

Breakfast (lunch?) 2:00 p.m. - Oatmeal and soy milk (200)

I don’t know what to make of this heart rate monitor thing.  It says I’ve burned 2700 calories and I’m taking it off with two and a half hours left to make it a full day.  So let’s say I burn 3000 calories a day like it says.  How come I’m so fat?  So what if I don’t stick to 1,200 calories every day?  Theoretically, I could eat 3000 calories a day and maintain or 2500 calories a day and lose a pound a week.  How come that doesn’t happen?  Let’s be real…even when I’m not eating healthy, I don’t see myself going over 3000 calories in a day.  I just don’t get it.

Anyway, I’m up and ready to get this day done.  Hopefully, after today, I can check in with some of you guys and see what’s been going on outside of my own little world.

I can’t believe I slept until 5:30 this morning. I was exhausted. I was in bed by 10:00 last night. It seems like my entire day was consumed with work yesterday. Get up for work, get ready for work, drive to work, work, drive home from work, work out, drive back to work, drive home from work, go to bed. Now I’ve got to hit the shower and get ready for work again.

6:15 - Okay, I’ve got my shower, hair, and makeup done. It’s time for the boys to get ready. I’ve been stressing out about work the entire time I was getting ready. How does it get like this? I don’t get paid enough to be stressed like this. I’m trying to figure out how I can do all the stuff I have to do and I just don’t see any way unless I bring it home over the weekend. The principal wants me to put together a 4 page newsletter about upcoming events and student achievement. It’s true, I volunteered to do it, but I volunteered to create a TWO page newsletter simply throwing a few kudos around and listing the names of honor roll kids, perfect attendance, students of the week, etc. She loved the idea. Then she spoke with our graphics department who agreed to publish it and distribute it to stores in the community and she started adding all these other things she wanted in there and now it’s gotten to be a four page newsletter. Graphics says they need two weeks for production so she wants it written and designed within a week. How come they get two weeks to run copies and I only get a week to create the whole thing?

I’ve also got my two year observation and evaluation coming up next week and I have to submit a detailed, written lesson plan and meet with one of the APs to discuss it, then she has to observe me, and I have to meet with her afterward to review everything. To give you an idea, everyone calls her a Nazi. I don’t know about the label but I DO know that she wants everything done in a certain way. Her way or no way.

I’ve got a STACK of paperwork (actually, two or three stacks) that I’ve got to take care of and I’m feeling like the more I run, the farther behind I get.

At least Mr. Scale is showing some compassion and understanding. He’s telling me I’m at 166.5 this morning. I know…I’ve been hanging around 166 for quite a while now.

5:30 - Just finished a grueling workout. One hour with a heart rate monitor. Phyllisann brought one in today for me to try. It’s a really nice one. Fits nice and snug under my boobs and shows the readings on a wristwatch. Okay…so here’s the really disgusting news…sitting on my butt all day at work, I only burned 955 calories. That was from 8:00 when we started it till 4:00, when I got home. That’s less than 120 calories an hour. I’m working my butt off but it’s all mental work from sitting at a desk. I was up and moving around when I was teaching but how much can you move within the confines of a few tables full of kids? Almost all day, my heart rate was around 75 to 80. So then I came home and did a kick ass workout and tried to keep my heart rate up as much as I could and I showed 548 calories according to the treadmill but only 333 calories according to the monitor. The bad news is…I tend to believe the monitor more than the treadmill. What’s ironic is that I have to stay off the treadmill to keep my heart rate up. The only time the treadmill was able to keep up with the aerobics was when it was on a 10% incline at 3.6 mph. Here’s another weird thing…the aerobics work me harder than jogging and the step aerobics work me more than floor aerobics. I would have thought jogging would be harder but, evidently, it isn’t. Of course, I was only jogging at 4.2 mph and 7%. Still…I’m surprised. I tried to keep my heart rate between 130 and 140 while I was working out.  It’ll be interesting to see how long my heart rate stays elevated after the workout. Right now, it’s been 20 minutes and it’s still up at 92. Poor Phyllisann, she may not want her monitor back after I’ve sweated all over it, slept in it, and showered in it.

I organized a potluck club at school a couple of weeks ago after one of the office workers freaked out about the prices in the cafeteria. They serve “kid size portions” even to adults. We get no discount whatsoever and all adult meals are ala carte. She got a baked chicken leg, 1/2 cup of nasty canned carrots, 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes, and a roll and just about had a heart attack when they charged her $5.75. Entrees go for $3.00, sides are $1.00 each, and rolls are $.75 each. That’s one of the reasons none of the teachers eat in the cafeteria. Another reason is that the food is horrible. None of it is cooked on the premises. It’s all prepared at a central location and then sent to the schools early in the morning so it can be thrown on the steam table to allow adequate time to turn everything to mush. Oh, yeah, as if that weren’t enough, who wants to share lunch with 350 screaming kids? So…here comes Sistah Pat with the bright idea of a Potluck Club. It’s $3.00 to join and that covers all the plates, tableware, napkins, and cups for the year. I set up a pretty strict set of rules that scared off most of the moochers. A 2-liter does not count as a contribution. Neither does a bag of potato chips. You can only eat when you contribute a dish and I made it clear that it was for members only. There are several other rules that we came up with to address the common problems we have with most potluck dinners. It’ll be interesting to see how tomorrow goes. I took the money I collected and bought all the cups and plates and stuff and GFS had a clearance on huge bags of those styrofoam compartmentalized containers like they use at restaurants for takeout. I bought a bunch of them so teachers can dish up and run back to their rooms with lunch in a nice sealed container. The first person to sign up said they were bringing chili so the next one said she’d make cornbread and another said she’d bring baked potatoes to fill with chili. Somehow, the whole thing took on a kind of theme. I’m taking my Black-eyed Senorita recipe. Black-eyed peas, pico de gallo, cilantro, etc. and some chips. If nothing else, I can eat some of the black eyed peas.

The principal is really happy about the Potluck Club. Our school was combined a few years ago to be both a middle school and a high school and there’s always been difficulty with a sort of ….hmmmm…dare I say it… “animosity” between the middle and high. The new principal is really trying to address that issue and she’s enthusiastic about anything that helps build “community”. I’m all about anything that helps me build a good relationship with her because my position is actually funded by a grant that pays half my salary. The school has to pay the other half and they have to be careful with paying for a teacher who doesn’t teach classes. There’s only so much money to go around. I could leave and go to another school or take another position but Andrew and Steven love this school and I don’t want them to have to transfer. We live so far away, there isn’t a bus for them and they only get to attend because they ride with me.

I’m really running on. Gotta run and make some Black Eyed Senorita!

Lunch:
1/2 Lean Cuisine (Glazed Chicken…it was gross!) (150)
1 pear

Strange week…The kids have been off since last Thursday but I already feel like I’ve worked a week and it’s only Wednesday. Funny thing about these professional development days. We always have a ton of work to do but it can’t be done in one day so it becomes just something else to add to the workload. We haven’t had students for the last two days but my desk is piled up with stacks of new stuff to do. Instead of having a chance to catch up, the workload just grew.

I haven’t been writing down what I’m eating and I’ve gotten off track. Starting today, I’m back to recording everything. I didn’t do bad yesterday but I don’t have a clue how many calories I consumed. Gotta get back to keeping track of it all.

Didn’t get home till late last night and have another long day, today. I have work and then I have to bring the boys home and then go back to school for a 6:00 p.m. meeting of the ROTC Booster Club. I really don’t have another minute. Gotta go!

3:15 - What a hectic day! I was run ragged and I’m not sure if I got anything accomplished. Well, yeah, I did some some stuff accomplished but I didn’t whittle down the stack of paperwork very much. Still can’t see my desk and I can’t get into my office because of all the computers that all need one thing or another.

I have to be back at 6:00 and I want to workout. Problem is…if I workout, I’ll get all sweaty and icky and have to take a shower and redo my hair, clothes, and makeup. It would serve them right if I showed up to address the meeting in a sweaty tee shirt and shorts. Let me think…if I workout from 3:30 to 4:30, I can cool down and relax from 4:30 to 5:00 and then get a shower and head out the door. No…that won’t work. I have to leave here by 5:30 and I won’t have time to shower and change. Guess I’d better skip the cool down. Gotta run (or jog, or do aerobics, or whatever).

4:30 - Okay, I got in a miserable workout but at least I got it done. It was hot and stuffy upstairs and I couldn’t seem to get into it. I was tired and sluggish and very much aware that I had to hurry up and get it done and then shower and hit the road. No fun at all. I forgot that I have to balance the statement for ROTC before the meeting. I AM the treasurer, after all. I forgot about that with all the other stuff I’ve been doing for them. There are three teachers in the booster club, and a retired man. All of us are fine with meeting right after school but the one woman who volunteered to help can’t make it till 6:00 in the evenings. All I can say is, “She better be there.” Hopefully, a few more parents will show up. I sent an email to all the parents who attended the Meet and Greet dinner to let them know about the meeting. The woman who volunteered to help was supposed to do that but she didn’t so I sent it out. That’s one of the reasons I’m not too optimistic about her. She hasn’t done any of the things she said she would. At least it should be easy to balance the statement. I’ve only written two checks in the last three months and no deposits.

9:30 - Okay, I feel better. The meeting dragged on until 7:30 but three parents showed up so that made it worthwhile. I didn’t get home until 8:00 but if you count working out, recording everything I ate today, and staying below 1200 calories, then I had a perfect day. First one in a while. Maybe I’ll get brave tomorrow and weigh myself.

Breakfast:
Light Yogurt (80)

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine (260)

Dinner:
2 cups Turkey White Bean Chili (540)
small piece cornbread (150)

Snacks:
2 Chocolate hard candies (35
Lite fudgesicle (45)

Total (1,110)

I slept in. Woke up at 7:00, went out to the spa for a few minutes with my coffee, and now I’m back inside. I don’t like working these hours. I have to leave here by 10:30 to be at school by 11:00 today. That means I have to start getting ready around 9:30 which means I only have about two hours of freedom and then I won’t get home until late. I’m going to try to get in a workout this morning. I need bandaids. Wore my cute little Liz Claiborne shoes yesterday and the bitch gave me blisters. Not a total disaster because I always have a change of shoes at work and I wore them the last couple of hours yesterday but the Lizzies started rubbing when I was all the way down at the far extreme of the school and they managed to do a little damage before I got back to my room to ditch them.

I’m still thinking about that C25K program. I think I’m going to download the first week to my MP3 when I get a chance and give it a try.

It seems like my diet has been terrible for ages. I MUST GET BACK ON TRACK! Lunch is provided today. They’re having it catered by The Spaghetti Shop. That doesn’t sound very promising. On top of that, we’ve got a potluck luncheon coming up on Friday. I think I must get off track simply because of boredom and laziness. Let’s face it…dieting can get kind of boring after a while. I’ve cooked the same old foods forever. I get tired of salads, fresh fruit, and low carb. Especially in light of the fact that I have 4 men living here who don’t like to eat it and usually do their own thing. Last night is a good example. I was going to broil some tilapia for dinner but DH said he was going to bread it and deep fry it for him and the boys. He also fried up a big pile of french fries. Once he got to frying, I just decided it was easier to throw my fish in with the rest. I ate greasy fried fish and french fries for dinner. As I was eating it, I was thinking, “These fries look good but they don’t really taste that great and the fish tastes greasy.” On top of that, I was running around spraying the house down with Febreeze because the whole house smelled greasy and fishy. Still…I ate two fish sandwiches and a pile of fries. Of course, I was up twice last night sick to my stomach so I guess there’s not too much left (I know, TMI) but I don’t know why I ate it in the first place. Boredom and laziness. I’m sick of Lean Cuisines. I’m tired of cooking a complete dinner for myself when DH is going to do his own thing and cook an entirely different meal. I have to give this some thought today. Figure out a way to deal with it. What I really need is a cookbook entitled A Whole New Bunch of Delicious, Healthy Recipes that are Heart-Healthy, Low-Fat, Low-Carb That Can be Prepared in Twenty Minutes or Less and Have no More than Six Ingredients. Maybe I should call Borders…anyone know the author’s name?

9:40 - I only have a couple of minutes.  I can blog while I cool off.  I get some kudos for taking an hour to workout when my time is really limited this morning.  I worked for an hour and the treadmill shows that I burned 600 calories but that doesn’t mean a thing because I wasn’t on it most of the time.  Jumped on and jogged a few times but the majority of the time I was doing aerobics.  Threw something new in today.  I grabbed my steps and worked out on them quite a bit.  I really enjoy step aerobics and they really got my heart rate up there.  I really should buy some kind of heart monitor that I can wear while I do aerobics and get a more accurate readout of how many calories I burn.  At any rate, I’m finding just a tad bit of backbone this morning.  I thought about the catered dinner at work.  I don’t even like spaghetti all that much and a plate of spaghetti is going to totally undo my workout calories.  I don’t think it’s worth it.  I’m just going to take a Lean Cuisine.  If I go down to the cafeteria, I’ll probably fall all over myself at the dessert table anyway.  So…I’m not even going down there.  I can be perfect…just for today…

I have to go for all day inservice today. I don’t know why they change our starting time from 7:30 to 8:30 on these days. Everyone I know would rather stay with the hours we usually have. We’re all used to them and it just means we get out an hour later than we normally would. DS is here. I was trying to sleep in but he woke me up and asked if I was oversleeping. I told him I was going in later today. Thirty minutes later, he’s knocking on the door again to make sure I’m up. I don’t know why he was worried about it. I can’t remember the last time I overslept. So here I am…I don’t have to be at work for two hours and it will only take me about 45 minutes to get ready. To be honest, the reason I have to get up so early on most school days is because it takes so long for the twins to get ready for school and they’re off today. Maybe I’ll take my coffee and go out to the spa.

We’re actually supposed to be in at 8:00 this morning but 8:00 to 8:30 is the optional “breakfast” which might as well be called “doughnuts” and I’m not putting myself in harm’s way if I can help it. I’ve got to start behaving better. We had the “Day of Decadence” last week, followed by the “Family Reunion Potluck”, followed by the “Weekend Shopping Getaway”. Three days of poor choices. I can’t wait to see the tongue lashing Mr. Scale’s going to give me. There was no excuse for what I ate last night. I don’t even like spaghetti and garlic bread but that’s what DH wanted. I told him I was planning on fixing broiled tilapia but he said I could have the tilapia and he and the boys wanted spaghetti. Lazy me, I opted to go along for the ride and eat spaghetti. We have an hour off for lunch today so I need to plan something. I know my friends will want to go out for lunch and everyone will be indecisive about where to go so I need to decide beforehand. Applebee’s has a lot of healthy choices but they take so long to serve lunch that most of my amigos don’t like to go there. Maybe I should suggest it right off the bat before anyone has a chance to wonder about where we’re going.

I’ve been thinking about my workouts. They take a long time. I was thinking I ought to take advantage of quick little 20 or 30 minute opportunities to workout. Why not? There’s no rule that says you can only workout once a day. When I was in my “prime”, the standing rule was to make sure you got your heart rate elevated and kept it there for 45 minutes. That meant an hour workout at the minimum. I think they’ve changed that now and say even short workouts are beneficial for weight loss. I know I need a nice long workout everyday but, on the days when I don’t have time, I might try to do a couple short ones. Another thing I was thinking about was C25K. A lot of chicks mention it in their blogs and I had no idea what it was so I looked it up. Aha! Couch to 5K run in 9 weeks. And, it on the internet free of charge. I can just download the podcasts. hmmmmm….I don’t see why I can’t do that on my treadmill. Only thinking about it. Anyone tried it?

6:30 - Ughh!  There are so many gross people out there!  A nice, fifty year old woman asked if she could be one of my friends on my tagged site.  I checked out her site…pictures of her and her hubby and kids.  I clicked okay.  She sends me a link to a porn site.  Why do people do that?  If you want to do porn, be upfront about it.  Gross!  I think I’m going to shut down my tagged site.  Little sister wants to keep it open for the family but I’m tired of dealing with all the nasties.

Work went well today.  These kind of days are always a little difficult for me.  Where do I fit in?  I’m a math teacher who hasn’t taught math in five years.  I’m a technology teacher but I’m supposed to be full-time resource.  I teach middle school kids and high school kids and I don’t really fit into any neat little package.  I don’t want to be part of the math group because I haven’t taught it for so long I don’t feel like I belong there.  I don’t fit with the tech people because they teach things like keyboarding and word processing and business.  I don’t fit with the middle school because I teach high and I don’t fit with the high school because I teach middle.  Today, I just decided to sit with the Practical Living and Vocational group because they’re all a bunch of oddballs.  Technology, graphic arts, health, ROTC, and PE all thrown together.  All the oddballs and misfits.  I actually fit pretty well with them because they were totally lost with what we were doing and I was able to help them with it.  Maybe I’ll stay with that group for all these “departmental/team” activities.

Things got pretty chaotic around here after I got home.  I was trying to work on some stuff for the “oddball department” because, after spending the day with them, I have a pretty good handle on what they need from me but there was too much going on.  Oldest DS is in town and staying here.  Of course, the twins live here and they were running around.  Youngest DS came by with DIL and his two kids and I couldn’t get anything done.  Tomorrow is parent conference day.  No school for kids.  I only have a couple of conferences since I have so few students and I should be able to get some work done.  We work crappy hours tomorrow to make it convenient for parents.  I have to be there from 11:00 to 7:00.  Think anyone will let me sleep in tomorrow?

I’ve done more shopping in the last two months than I’ve done in years. Why? Because this place is so crazy, DH loves to take me away from it all. He’s better than Calgon. We pull into our cheap little RV park ($18.00 a night) and I go across the street while he sets up. I spend two or three hours shopping and walk back over and we either go out to eat (there’s every restaurant you can imagine at this outlet) or we just relax and stay in the RV. Last night, I just picked up some Arby’s when I was over at the outlet and brought them back. We relaxed and watched Iron Man and had Arby’s and beer. I like to get Moosehead beer but they didn’t have it so I got Landshark Island Style Lager and it was great beer! I got a little bit of a buzz and got that massage DH promised me.

Got up this morning and I went back to the outlet while DH relaxed and chatted with the owners of the RV park who are now getting to know us. Checkout time is 11:00 a.m. but they told us that doesn’t mean anything and we can stay up to 5:00 without being charged for another day so it makes for a nice relaxing day.

Okay, so where was I? We went to the reunion yesterday and had a good time. Lots of good food and family to enjoy. I got a recipe for some apple dumplings that are out of this world! I was coaxed into trying them because I’ve had apple dumplings before and they weren’t that great but these were simply delicious and they looked pretty too! Just what I need…another fabulous, fattening recipe.

We came home to 5 grandkids and DS running around the house and DH said, “Grab your bag. Let’s get out of here!” That’s easy enough…I grabbed my makeup bag and a change of underwear and we were out the door in 5 minutes and headed to Edinburgh. I have several outfits in the RV along with toothbrushes, hair brushes, and all the necessities so it’s really easy to take off on a moment’s notice.

I hit Coldwater Creek and they had a lot of new stuff but I don’t like to pay those prices. Something that costs $119.00 at Coldwater Creek hits the outlet at $59.00 and then, a month later, is 50% off at $29.99. I’ve bought a lot of things at the Outlet price and then been disappointed to go up there a couple weeks later and find that’s it’s been marked down 50% so I’ve decided not to buy anything at the regular outlet price. They had a gorgeous rust colored suede swing jacket that was $89.00 but I just couldn’t bring myself to buy it. I only bought one beautiful jacket and two blouses. I really like Coldwater Creek but a lot of their stuff is kind of trendy and I decided I would visit some of the other shops and look for some more classic clothes. (Stacy and Clinton would be so proud of me!) I went to Liz Claiborne and got two pairs of shoes and 3 blouses and then went to Sag Harbor and got a gorgeous plum colored jacket, a pair of black pants, and three more blouses. I spent about $200.00 total. Not bad for 2 jackets, two pairs of shoes, a pair of pants, and 8 blouses. I tried on a “body shaper” at Vanity Fair and it was torture! My boobs were totally squished and it didn’t seem to do anything for my midriff which is where I really needed it. I thought I was going to have to call for help to get out of it. How do people wear those things??? It pulled my earring out just trying to get it off! No, thanks…I’ll just have a flabby midriff.

It’s been a busy morning! I got up and cleaned the house, did a couple loads of laundry, made the Linguini Salad and worked out for 70 minutes. Now, I’m going to have to cool off, get a shower and fix myself up and get to the reunion. All those Maddixs running around. Most of them I only see once a year and I never can remember who’s who. I’m not a Maddix and neither is DH. His mother was but she passed away several years ago.

I did a pretty good workout today. Tried to incorporate a few 1 1/2 minute jogs into it and they went pretty well. Did a lot of aerobics. I’ve decided to buy some wrist weights. I used to do aerobics with leg and wrist weights but I don’t think I should use ankle weights anymore because of the balance issues.

4:30 - Home from the reunion and DH wants to go to Edinburgh.  He gets to relax in the RV and I get to shop!  What more could a girl ask for?  Ate a bunch of potluck stuff at the reunion and I’ll probably have a junkie dinner.  We’ll see!

Later!

Can’t believe I didn’t blog yesterday! It was a busy, busy day and I thought I blogged before I went to work but I didn’t. Anyway, I’m blogging now!

I slept until 9:30 this morning! Of course, I stayed up until 2:00 but it’s still pretty freaky for me to sleep that late. Guess it was the Tylenol PM. It says that stuff is not habit-forming and that’s a good thing because everytime I take it, I sleep like a rock. I’m off today and I wanted to be able to snooze so I took two of them before I went to bed. Remember when my back was really hurting? One of the things we did was flip and turn the mattress and it took care of it. No more tossing and turning. Strange, the mattress is a really good one and it’s only about 5 years old. It felt great to open the windows, snuggle up under the covers and sleep in.

Yesterday evening was an exercise in decadence. I regret it a little bit this morning but that’s because I didn’t enjoy it too much last night but, nevertheless, it was a planned deviation. Andrew has been begging for me to fix a big pot of chicken and dumplings and DH got on the bandwagon as well so I planned an evening off from dieting and a totally decadent dinner of all the crap everyone wanted. Took care of Andrew’s chicken and dumplings, DH wanted corn casserole with sour cream and bacon, and Steven wanted peanut butter fudge. Throw in some steamed broccoli and you’ve got the dinner menu. I don’t want to think about the calories but, it’s done. I guess it just goes to show that I’m used to making healthier choices. The chicken and dumplings seemed too salty and gluey to me but everyone else loved them. The corn casserole was good but I didn’t think it was sensational, certainly not worth all the calories, and the fudge was actually kind of gross. I ate a couple pieces and it was like eating pure sugar and butter. Now, it’s done. Everyone can stop nagging me, and I don’t think (?) the pan full of fudge is going to tempt me. There’s still a lot left.

The boys have a nice long weekend ahead of them. They’re off today, Monday and Tuesday. Today is a professional development day so I get today off but Monday is a training day for teachers and I have to work and Tuesday is one of two annual parent conference days. The hours will be something like 10:00 to 6:00 with an hour for lunch. It’s an optional work day for teachers and we get paid extra for it which adds up to a nice little chunk of change so it would be stupid not to do it.

Today, I plan on going upstairs and workin my butt off on my treadmill, aerobics, etc. and planning a nice healthy dinner to help my poor system recover from the crap I ate yesterday evening. Before that, I’m going to take a few minutes to touch base with my bloggie buddies and see what everyone’s been up to.

12:45 - OMG! It’s almost 1:00 and I’m still sitting here in my jammies catching up with everyone. I have GOT to get off here, workout, and get something done!

2:15 - Whew! I worked out for 80 minutes. Now I get to sit here and endure the grossosities for a few minutes with sweat dripping off my hair and annoying little trickles that slide down my back and come to rest in the buttcrack. Yeah, I know…TMI

I did my rotation through the treadmill, the bike, and aerobics and managed to keep the heart rate up. The treadmill says I burned 800 calories but that really has no meaning because I keep jumping off of it and doing other stuff to keep my heart rate up. In all honesty, all the other stuff is a lot more difficult than just staying on the treadmill so does that mean I burned more than 800 calories? I don’t know. I did bump the treadmill up to 4.2 a few times and jogged for a couple minutes at a time. Cool! Didn’t know I could do that anymore. Maybe….just maybe….I’ll try to go out jogging at some point this fall. Gotta think about the implications on that one.

Crap…DH is going to be home in about 45 minutes and I haven’t done anything today but blog and workout. Maybe I can make the bed and fill a bucket with PineSol so the fragrance floats through the air and he’ll think I’ve been scrubbing something.

5:15 - Didn’t get to put out the PineSol because I was out of it. Nevertheless, DH didn’t say a word. Guess I’m still getting mileage out of the cell phone debacle. He reminded me that we have to go to his family reunion tomorrow afternoon and I’m supposed to take a dish. I think I’ll take Linguini Salad. It’s always a hit, easy to make, and keeps well. Gotta try to look good tomorrow to see all of his distant relatives that we only see once a year. He’s got two sisters coming in from Tampa and I know he’s looking forward to seeing them. Every year, they look older and older and I guess they probably think the same thing about me.

Getting old…I really hate all the crap that goes along with it. So many icky things that I just can’t fix anymore. A year ago, I could say, “God! I’m so fat and I look like sh*t!” Now, I can say, “God! I’ve lost 40 pounds and I still look like sh*t!” I think about it sometimes…the more weight I lose, the more sags and droops I get. It’s discouraging because I know that the old skin just doesn’t have all that youthful elasticity anymore and it NOT going to get better. Crap! Occasionally, I think about plastic surgery. I’ve had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck. I may be wide as a barn but the boobs look pretty good and my tummy is flat as a board. Sometimes I think, “Okay, lose the weight and you can always have an upper arm lift or a thigh lift or a face lift” but I’m not sure I want to do that. None of that stuff comes without sacrifice. Get the arms trimmed up nice and firm and lose all the feeling in them? Get a face lift and have my face feel like plastic? I don’t think I want to do that. I mean, at my age, it would be a never-ending series. It’s one thing to have it done when you’re young but I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with it at this point. Start down that road and you wind up like Cher. Can you imagine how her body must feel? It must be totally numb and feel like she’s made of wood. I saw a television special on celebrity plastic surgery about a year ago and they showed a computerized simulation of what Cher would look like if she’d never had any plastic surgery. Sh*t!! It was really scary!

(sigh)…guess I’m not doing this aging thing very gracefully…

10:15 - Just got out of the spa.  It’s nice outside tonight.  The temperature is way down there.  Don’t know what it is (it was 46 degrees when I drove to work yesterday morning) but it was a tad bit chilly.  Just enough to make the spa feel all warm and cozy.  I know it’s still a little early for a Friday night.  I planned on watching a marathon session of What Not to Wear but I’m definitely feeling the call of that peanut butter fudge so I’d better play it safe and just go to bed.

g’night, Chicklets…

Breakfast
Lite yogurt (80)

Lunch?
3 or 4 bites of Kroger Chicken breast with dill dressing from the deli. (100?)

Snack:
Special K Protein Bar (180)

Dinner:
Salad (200)
Ravioli with spaghetti sauce (500)

Total: 1,060

I’m sleepy this morning. After last night’s fiasco, I was too stressed to sleep and I didn’t feel like sleeping with the enemy anyway so I stayed up until a little after midnight. That’s not good when you have to be up at 5:00. I keep telling myself that, even though it’s Wednesday, I’m off Friday so I can pretend this is Thursday. That might keep my feeble little brain functioning long enough to get me through the day.

Mr. Scale is being kind to me with 165.5 this morning and I’m aiming for a good day. I’m not as prepared as I’d like but I’m going to stick to my guns and try to get through it. I can eat a protein bar or something at work. I dressed for power today. Black top with silver threads running through it, black jacket, black pants, and red heels. Maybe the kids will think I’m in control.

4:30 - I don’t think the kids fell for it. They were a pain today. I kept thinking maybe it was me. Maybe I was letting things get to me because I was tired and out of sorts but I decided that it really was the kids. Not my kids but the classes I worked with today. Mine were a bit over enthusiastic today but I let it go because they were really enjoying what they were doing and I didn’t want to cramp their style. There’s a time for them to be quiet and listen and there’s a time for them to work together to be creative and show me what they’ve learned. They were creating Power Point presentations and having fun with it and that’s what I want. The kids that got on my nerves were another teacher’s students. She doesn’t have much control over her classes. Much more into trying to be “friends” with them than establishing guidelines and control. It’s very awkward for me to be working with another teacher’s students because I expect them to give me their attention and respect and, if their regular teacher is in the room, they tend to follow the rules she’s set for them. Problem is, if she lets them get away with murder, they’re going to try it with me. That’s not a problem with my own classes. A week or so in the beginning of the year and we lay the groundwork. However, it is a problem with other classes because I don’t have time to lay down the rules and teach the lesson as well. If I need to work with her classes again, I’ll have to address this issue with her.

On the home front…DH is all about making me happy this evening. He knows how bad he effed up. Asked me if we could talk as soon as I got home and agrees with me 100% that he’s a world class jerk, inconsiderate, totally out of line, and doesn’t deserve to breath the same air that I breath. Backed down real quick when he suggested that I never should have left without him because he was going to take me. I told him if he ever does anything like that again, I’m going to call a big, black, no nonsense woman and let her deal with him and I know just the woman to do it. The battle is over. You can’t be married 38 years if you can’t deal with this kind of crap.  The entire rationale behind this episode is that he does not treat me that way and I don’t accept being treated that way.   Last night was really unexpected and he’s offered a few excuses but admits there’s really no justification for his behavior.  That’s good because I won’t accept any justification.  I don’t exact revenge but I’m all about letting him fix dinner (my kind of dinner), accepting his tokens of love (flowers, and a great big “I’m Sorry!” card), and taking him up on his offer of a massage. Not sure I want the massage tonight because he has to hit the bed too early on work nights but I can use it this weekend.