Sistah Pat

6:00 P.M. - Finally home. Had a rough day at work and then rushed home to drop the boys off and went to get my hair done. ObiWan hairdresser says Stacy used rods that were too small and overprocessed my hair because its so fine. Best solution? Cut it short and wait for it to grow out. So I did. Looks pretty good right now but I don’t know how it’s going to do when I do it myself. Guess we’ll see in the morning.  Brandie, I think I’m going to have to get some good product!

I got scammed! It really burns my butt that I’d fall for an internet scam. Crap! You’d think I’d know better than that. I got an email that I could get a free Crest tooth whitening system if I just paid S&H. I clicked on it and it was a full page of testimonials about how well it worked and how I would get it for just S&H. I checked that thing, dammit! I read all of it and then sent off for it with my Visa number to pay for the S&H. Got it about a month ago and it’s been sitting on my dresser. There weren’t any papers with it other than the directions. Today I get an envelope with two little refill syringes of the whitening goo and a note that my account was billed $90.00 as agreed for my monthly shipment. Holy Moly! I called the number and they said I agreed to a membership on the terms and conditions of my free kit and I argued with him that I DID NOT agree to a membership and I read every word when I ordered my “free” kit. He said he’d “cancel” my “membership” but he couldn’t do anything about crediting my account. Said I’d have to go to the website and send them an email to request a refund. I did. Ten minutes later, I got the email back as “undeliverable”. Damn! Guess I got had. Watch out for this one, chickies! I’m a great example to my students…teaching them to recognize scams and predators on the internet and then falling for one myself. I’ve been good today. Think I deserve a beer. Can’t have it in the spa, though….

9:00 - Heading to bed soon.  Didn’t have a perfect day today but then, I didn’t aim for a perfect day.  I did okay.  Got up and weighed myself, 164.5, ate yogurt and an apple for breakfast, had a Lean Cuisine for lunch.  Didn’t plan on exercising because I wanted to go get my hair done and I had homemade chicken soup with rice for dinner.  Didn’t count calories but I know it’s in the ballpark.  Easy day today but tomorrow I’m going for the gold.  Aiming for a perfect day and my first workout of week 2 of c25k.

G’night, girls!

1 1/2 pounds lean pork loin cut into 4 slices
3 Tablespoons reduced-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 Tablespoon grated gingerroot
1/2 teaspoon garlic pepper

Trim all visible fat from pork.  Combine the rest of the ingredients in a plastic bag.  Add pork slices.  Cover and marinate in refrigerator 8 hours or overnight.

Remove pork from marinade, reserving marinade.  Grill pork 5 to 6 inches over medium coals 20 minutes or until tender, basting frequently with marinade.

Yield 4 servings
218 calories per serving

OMG! Mr. Scale says 164 this morning! That dear, sweet, little hunk of inanimate misery! I haven’t seen 164 in….eight years??? I remember when I had my first ankle surgery eight years ago. I’d been in quite a bit of pain for about a year and a half and had been slowly putting on weight. I spent three months in a wheelchair and I remember that I weighed 172 when I got out of it and I was relieved because I had only gained two pounds. Whoo Hooo! I’m getting back to ME! Well, not technically. Sistah Pat is ten years older and will never be the same ME but, at least, I’m working on it. You girls and this blog are the reason. Thanks so much for all the support and friendship!

So now, the goal for today is to be very careful to stay on track so I can actually log 165 or less into my weight table for tomorrow. I know how it flucuates. It says 164 this morning but I’ll be thrilled if I can just make a milestone in the table tomorrow.

I kept myself busy yesterday. Made a homemade marinara sauce for dinner and served it with a little pasta and broiled chicken breast. I actually ate a piece of french bread and I don’t do that as a rule but I did a hard workout yesterday and the nutrition label says it’s only 160 calories for 1/8 of the loaf. I gave myself a much needed manicure and pedicure and did some laundry and cleaning. I stared at my closet full of winter clothes in dismay. What am I supposed to do with a nice, fairly expensive wardrobe that doesn’t fit? Has anyone ever used a tailor? I wonder how expensive it would be? I wonder if I should just do it myself? I wouldn’t be afraid if it weren’t that most of my jackets are so well made. They all have linings and biased seams. I may go up to a dry cleaners and see what the deal is with their “alterations”. I suppose they probably just hem and shorten sleeves but I really don’t know. I guess I could always pick one that’s not necessarily a favorite and have a go at it. I don’t think it would be too difficult to take in the sides and put a couple of seams in the back but a lot of them are too big in the shoulders because I had to get sizes that were too big in the shoulders to accomodate the midriff. hmmmm…gotta think about it.

I’m also thinking about going to a fairly good beauty school after work tomorrow and see what they can do with my hair. I can’t spend $150 for a hair cut and style but I really need some expert advice after DIL frizzed it.

I must seem so vain! It seems like all I ever talk about is clothes and hair but I have to. It’s what’s keeping me going these days. I know I wouldn’t have the motivation to keep going if I were walking around in baggy clothes and looking like crap. I love seeing how the sizes I’m buying keep going down (I’m in a 14 petite now) and how much nicer things fit and look. It’s the compliments and comments that really help me stay motivated and I wouldn’t be getting them if I weren’t doing my best to look good. So…forgive me for being a materialistic shopaholic these days.

I’m planning on grilling ginger pork loin for dinner so I’d better make some marinade and get it going. Later!

12:45 - Just finished another kick-ass workout. Did an hour of aerobics and treadmill followed by week 1 of c25k for a total of 90 minutes. Wish the spa was working. I’d love to have a nice hot soak right about now. Btw, the motor was shot in the spa so DH had to order a new one. I wore Phyllisann’s heart rate monitor during the entire workout and tried to keep my heart rate up to 80% but it wasn’t easy. It takes me a long time to get there…almost 20 minutes of working hard. The treadmill shows I burned 860 calories but I trust the heart rate monitor and it says I just burned 790 calories. Either way, I’m happy.

4:00 - Wandered through the produce market looking for good seasonal stuff.  I bought three weird squash that I haven’t eaten or cooked before.  They were cheap, nutritious, and low-cal so I thought I’d give them a try.  I have acorn squash, delica squash, and dumpling squash.  I’m going to fix the acorn squash with honey and cinnamon, the delica with fake butter, lime juice, and chili powder, and the dumpling with chicken broth and spices.  Will let you know if they’re edible.  In the meantime, I’m going to post my ginger grilled pork chop recipe because it’s great and you chickies might want to try it some time.

Breakfast:
Oatmeal with soymilk (180)

Dinner:
Grilled ginger pork loin (300)
Corn on the cobb (100)
Beets (100)
squash (100)

Snacks:
mini rice cakes (90)
Fudgesicles (90)
2 cheese sticks (120)

Total 1,180

Weighed in at 166.5 again this morning.  I was curious about whether or not I’d gotten down this low before so I went back and looked at my weight table.  Guess what?  This is my lowest point and I was here on September 8.  I weigh everyday but I only record my weight in my weight table on Mondays.  I also reached 166.5 on September 22.  I’m glad to be back at my lowest point again but I’m kind of disgusted with myself for not having made any progress in the last six weeks.  Reaching 150 by the time we leave for the cruise on December 19th didn’t seem unreasonable when I had 3 1/2 months to get there but now, it’s looking a bit obscure.  So, I’m aiming for a milestone on Monday.  I want to break 165.  I’m going to be a workout fool this weekend.  It also gives me incentive to be good over the weekend with my food choices.

I’m wondering if it’s possible for me to reach 150 by December 19.  I’ve been hugging 166.5 to 168 for a couple of months.  I’ve got to break this plateau.  Let me think a minute…I’ve got 8.5 weeks before the cruise.  That would come out to an average of almost 2 pounds per week.  With the way I lose, I’m not sure I’m going to make it.  Way back at the end of April when I started working at this, I had a goal of 5 pounds every two weeks and it proved to be pretty tough.  Now, after dieting and exercising for six months, I’m not sure I can manage 2 pounds a week.  I upped my calories to 1,200 because I took everyone’s advice to try to kickstart my loss again but I don’t know what else I can do other than exercise even more.  Oh well, even thinking about the challenge gives me incentive to kick things up a notch.  I guess we’ll see what happens.  Right now, I have a teeny little goal of kicking that pound and a half off my ass by Monday.

2:15 - Did a kick-ass workout.  I did 55 minutes of aerobics and treadmill and then did week one of c25k.  That’s my last session of week one.  I did a total of 85 minutes and burned 800 calories according to the treadmill but we all know how reliable that is.  Anyway, I weighed myself and worked out.  Now I need to find some food!

Breakfast? (It’s 2:30!):
Light Yogurt (110)

Dinner:
Chicken breast (200)
Pasta and sauce (400)
french bread (150)
Salad (100)

Snack:
Popcorn (250)

Total 1210

On a good note, the scales say 165.5 this morning.  I’m not sure if I’ve broken 165 yet.  I’ll have to go back a couple weeks and see but I don’t think I have.

On the other hand, things seem to be heading downhill.  Get ready…

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! The spa is broken.  Steven went out to get in it last night and the water was warm, not hot and he couldn’t get it to come on.  It was late so I didn’t do anything about it and DH was already in bed.  I went out this morning and the water is still just warm, not hot.  The lights come on and I think the heater is running, the motor just isn’t kicking in or circulating the water to keep it hot enough.  This is the second spa we’ve had.  The first one lasted 16 years and this one is about ten years old so I guess it’s about time to have a problem with it.  DH is a mechanical genius so maybe he can fix it this weekend.

Next bad vibes come from DS who’s a chef and married to psycho girl.  He lost his job last night.  Got into an arguement with the owner and the owner said, “Apologize or leave.”  David left.  He told the owner he was not a man of his word and he was tired of him messing up and blaming him.  Well, it’s true.  DS worked in a wonderful restaurant for eleven years and the owner retired and sold it to a couple of jerks who ran it into the ground within two years.  Next comes a series of idiots who don’t know how to run a business and now it’s come to this.  DS has not been happy for a while and looked for another job but the owner promised the moon if he’d stay and nothing ever comes of it but empty promises.

Finally, a phone call from a loan company where we co-signed for oldest DS 1 1/2 years ago.  He’s three months behind on his payments.  I’m soooooo tired of worrying about kids who should be grown and independent and taking care of grandkids that they should be taking care of.

Still…aiming for a perfect day…

7:45 -Not a bad day.  Nazi finally found time to meet with me about my observation.  She actually gave me a fantastic review.  Kind of makes me feel bad for bad-mouthing her….Nah….

It’s fake payday today so I decided to treat myself.  Fake payday because we don’t get checks anymore.  Everything is required to be automatic deposit.  All we get on payday is a stub stating how much was deposited.  I guess it really doesn’t make any difference but the rebel in me really resents it.  It doesn’t feel like a real payday without a check in my hand.  At any rate, I decided I needed a new pair of jeans.  Went to Macy’s and struck paydirt.  They’re having a one day sale tomorrow but they already had everything marked down.  I got a pair of jeans but they had all of their clearance marked down an additional 75% off the clearance price.  I got four sleeveless tops for less than $4.00 each and 2 dresses for about $5.00 each. 

It was a good day as far as food went and I weighed myself so I think I had a perfect day even though I didn’t exercise because that was a concious decision.  I want to get up and exercise in the morning when I’m fresh and it’s cool upstairs so I decided to go shopping instead.  It ain’t easy working with a bunch of teenagers all the time.  They think I dress “pretty good” but they DID NOT like my old washed out, saggy butt jeans the other day.  So…I turned to What Not To Wear!

Stacy:  “OMG!  Look at her tush in those jeans!”

Clinton: “What tush?  It looks like she doesn’t even have a tush!  And what is the deal with those Crocs flip flops?”

Stacy: “She’s had ankle surgery several times and says she can’t wear heels.”

Clinton: “Does that mean she has to wear flip flops?  My god!  The woman is supposed to be a role model for kids!”

Stacy:  “I can’t stand to look at this another minute.  Let’s go get her!”

“Hi!  I’m Stacy and this is Clinton and we’re from TLCs What NOT to wear!”

Patty:  “Oh my God!  Who did this to me?  Was it my DH?  I’m going to kill him!  I’m soooo embarassed!”

Clinton: “No, it was your students!  They say you’re a sweet, loving teacher but they can’t stand the way you dress!  Look at you!  Isn’t that the same jeans you wore yesterday?  Turn around…where’s your butt?  I know you have one but you sure can’t tell it by those jeans.”

Stacy: “Is that furniture stain dribbled on them?  Have you no pride whatsoever???  and what’s with the lime green tee shirt?”

Patty: “It’s colors day.  Kids wear different colors according to their grade and teachers wear green.  We all have to wear jeans today.”

Stacy: “We don’t care what you have to wear today.  We’ve been secretly filming you all week!  Take a look at some of this footage!”

Patty:  “OH MY GOD!  I’m so embarrassed!  I thought I looked pretty good!  You know, it was Spirit Day.  We have to wear a school shirt and jeans.  I didn’t have any choice!”

Stacy: “Do you call those jeans?  Those jeans haven’t seen a fashion magazine for at least 15 years. And that shirt!  Is that a shirt or a nightgown?”

Clinton: “You should NEVER wear navy.  It does NOTHING for you!  How many times have you washed those jeans anyway?”

Patty:  “You don’t understand!  I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last six months and they were the only jeans that fit.”

Stacy:  “They do NOT fit!  Look at the crotch!  It’s down around your calves!  and who said you could wear flip flops to work?”

Patty: “I have a doctor’s note that lets me wear flip flops whenever I want.  I have to have them for my ankles and I know navy doesn’t work for me but it was navy or gray.  That’s the school colors.  I didn’t have any choice.”

Clinton: “You could have worn a fitted jacket of a contrasting color to bring out your eyes and hair.  What did you do to your hair, anyway?  Did you color it yourself?  Why is it all frizzy?”

Patty:  “My daughter in law did it.  She’s a hairdresser but she’s also a little crazy.  I don’t think she did it on purpose.  She just talked me into letting her put six or seven perm rods in the very top.  I think it’s okay.  It’s kind of a Tina Turner thing.”

Stacy:  “Tina Turner wouldn’t stand for that.  You better be good to her.”

Patty:  “I didn’t mean any disrespect.  I love Tina Turner!”

Clinton: “What’s love got to do with it?  What’s love but a second hand emotion?”

Stacy: “Look at this!  Tuesday…would you mind explaining what you were thinking when you dressed in orange paisley pants, a black and yellow silk blouse, and a pink flowered jacket????  Are you wearing two different colors of flip flops?  How could you go out like that??? I hope you wouldn’t wear anything like that to the store!”

Patty: “Well, uh…I did have to go to Subway and pick up some cookies but I tried to be fast and I parked close to the door.  It was Wild and Wacky Day and we were supposed to wear things that didn’t match.”

Clinton: “What about Monday??? Do you have an explanation for why you’re wearing an orange blouse, a plum jacket, black pants and a set of Mickey Mouse ears???”

Patty: “Well, uh, it’s homecoming week and that was Crazy Hat day.  I don’t wear hats but I had the Mickey Ears from a trip to Disney World.  I thought they were okay…under the circumstances….”

Stacy: “Enough of this!  We’re not taking you to New York and we’re not giving you a charge card for $5,000 dollars with your name on it.  There’s no sense in wasting our money if you’re going to persist with all this craziness.  Woman, you are a fashion disaster!  I don’t think you even know what size clothes you actually wear!”

Patty: “Well, I’ve been dieting and exercising and I think it’s going to get better but it’s difficult…to figure out how to dress…you know?   Can you just look at these new jeans I bought and give me a little advice? I mean, I know I’m kind of a lost cause but I could use the help.  Can I just talk to Carmindy and Nick?  I think Nick might be able to do something with my hair.  Huh?  Can I ?  Huh?”

Clinton: “We’ll give you five minutes.  That’s it.  Go try on your new jeans.” 

Stacy: “Oh that’s so much better!  Look at that tush!”

Clinton: “I love the cut, no tapered legs for you, girlfriend!  The color is fab!  Always look for a dark wash.”

Stacy: “OMG!  Pointy toed heels!  I knew you could do it.  They make your legs look so much longer!”

Clinton: “What’s with the blouse?  I thought you’d do better than that.”

Patty: “It was on clearance and I couldn’t resist.  It was only $4.00.”

Clinton:  “Clearance means it sat on the rack all summer and no one bought it.  What were you thinking?Look at the band.  You should NEVER wear a top with a horizontal band across the widest part of your hips.”

Patty: “But I thought the Vee neck would make me look longer and leaner.”

Stacy: “Are you out of your mind??? Nothing is going to make you look long and lean and the vee is too wide anyway.  and DON’T put your arm up like that.  Look at all the flabby skin you’ve got now!  Wear long sleeves, girl!  You’ve got the pant thing going.  Tomorrow, we’re going to look at some more appropriate tops for you and see if Nick can do anything with your hair.”

Breakfast:
Light Yogurt (80)

Lunch:
Salad (200)

Dinner:
Sauerkraut and Pork Loin (300)
Lowfat frozen yogurt (400)

Snacks:
Oatmeal with soy milk (200)

Total 1,180

A couple of perfect days under my belt and I’m feeling more motivated. Sometimes, when I wander off track, it’s really hard to get back. One day leads to another. A slip here, a slip there, and the little slips keep me stuck in one place. I’m feeling like I’m heading in the right direction again. Can’t let the stress and pressures of work get me sidetracked. Speaking of work, Nazi was supposed to meet with me yesterday to discuss my observation but she got busy and didn’t do it. Maybe today.

Can you believe gas prices? It’s $3.87 here. I think we need to fill up the tank and head to Florida pretty soon. Other half-awake ramblings…what happened to the cold front? It’s still 70 degrees outside.

6:15 - Feeling a little more alert and lively. Only four steps to a perfect day 1) Weigh 2) Eat Healthy 3) Record everything eaten 4) Exercise

I weighed myself. 166.5 this morning. Slowly coming down. Step 1 done.

Steven has a sore throat this morning. Must have the ickys some of you chicks have. He takes forever to get ready for school in the mornings so the pace is pretty relaxed for Andrew and I.

4:00 - Home from work. Phyllisann brought me one of her heart rate monitors to use until she needs it. She prefers the other one but this one is designed for swimming as well. Since she’s not swimming these days, she’s letting me borrow it. I’d like to use it before my workout because this one lets you program your height and weight into it but I don’t know if I want to take the time to figure it out. If I’m going to workout in the afternoon, I’d just as soon get it done.

The Nazi cancelled on me again today. Interesting…there’s no leeway for her observations unless it’s for her.

Joy, I haven’t been down to the cabin since Spring break the first of April. I imagine the grass is probably over my head. That’s one reason I want to go down the first of November…I won’t have to mow grass over the Thanksgiving break.

Okay…off to workout.

5:45 - Workout is done!  One hour of treadmill and aerobics.  Phyllisann’s little wristwatch gadget says I only burned 450 calories.  Poop!  My treadmill shows 540 but I guess her thingie is probably more accurate since it has my age and weight entered (but, Hey!  I’m short!  Doesn’t that count for anything???)

DH is fixing tuna casserole, macaroni and cheese, and green beans.  I’m going to fix myself a huge salad with a grilled chicken breast and Newman’s Lite Honey Dijon.  Later!

Breakfast:
Light Yogurt (100)

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine (220)
Fruit (100)

Dinner:

Huge salad with grilled chicken breast (400)
3 breadsticks (60)

Snack:
Low fat frozen chocolate yogurt (300)

Total 1180

Today is Spirit Day. We get to wear jeans and any kind of shirt with the school logo on it. Not much fun if you ask me. We used to have pajama day when everyone wore pajamas and house shoes. Pretty comfy, actually. Believe it or not, the kids did a good job with it. Most of them wore some kind of tee and flannel pants. We didn’t have much trouble with skimpys or inappropriateness. I’m not sure why they didn’t do it this time. I have to wear an old pair of jeans with furniture stain on them because that’s the only pair I have that fits. Need to buy some more, I guess.

I spent my blog time sitting in the spa this morning. Woke up almost 30 minutes early but it’s almost time to get ready so I’m going to have to weigh in and get moving. Aiming for another perfect day but I’m stopping by the store and getting salad stuff before I come home.

6:10 - Step one of a perfect day - record weight - okay, 167. So far, it’s a perfect day.

6:30 - I look like crap. My jeans are old and washed out and they have tapered legs and a baggy butt. I can hear Stacy and Clinton now, “Look for a really dark wash that fits in the tush and has straight legs.” Well it’s all I’ve got so you’re just gonna have to live with it. Our school colors are gray and navy. What the Hell can you do with gray or navy? On top of that, it occured to me that we didn’t get any new staff shirts this year. I guess the new principal had other things on her mind at the retreat but that means I have to wear an old one and it’s hanging on me like a tent. Oh well, at least I can pick up cookies if I have to and not be the center of attention.

5:00 - Still hangin in there on that perfect day. I’m heading upstairs to do aerobics for 30 minutes followed by the 30 minutes of c25k week one session. Be back soon!

6:05 - Whoo Hooo! I did aerobics for 30 minutes and then c25k and I did good! I’m HOT but it’s miserably hot upstairs anyway. Thank God a cold front is supposed to come in tomorrow. It was 83 degrees when I left work and I think it’s even warmer upstairs. I’m soooo close to a perfect day. Just gotta hang in there for another 3 1/2 hours or so. That shouldn’t be too bad. I went by Kroger and got some healthy goodies so I have lots of choices for dinner.

9:30 - Alrighty, then!  It’s done!  I’m tired tonight and hitting the bed early.  I feel great about today.  Aiming for another winner tomorrow!

G’night, chicklets!

Breakfast
Light yogurt (80)

Lunch:
Marie Callenders dinner (320)

Dinner:
Salad with Newman’s Lite Honey Dijon (200)
Lean Cuisine (220)

Snacks
Special K Blueberry cereal bar (90)
Chocolate Fat free frozen yogurt (300)

Total 1,210

This is homecoming week at school and today is Weird and Wacky dress day. Nothing is supposed to match. That should make it easy to get dressed this morning. I’ll just take a bright floral pair of pants and a different bright, patterned blouse and jacket. I’ll baby my ankle today with a neon green flip flop and a neon orange flip flop. Easy enough. Just don’t want to stop at the store on the way home.

I’ve got about ten minutes until I have to get my shower. Blog or spa? Blog or Spa….. Later!

6:00 a.m. - Whoo Hooo! So far I have a perfect day! Been up for an hour and I’m hangin in there. Mr. Scale says I’m at 168 and he’s groaning and giving me “the look” 0.0 Everytime I go in the bathroom, I see those big round eyes staring at me. Gotta get dressed. At least the Nazi can’t say I don’t show school spirit when she does my observation this morning.

11:30 - Still hangin tough! Nazi has done her thing and left. She’ll write up her observations and call me in to review it with me at some point. I’m not going to lose any sleep about it. She DID NOT dress up for Weird and Wacky day. Imagine that. All the other APs and counselors did but she’s wearing a taupe suit and brown flats. Ugghhh…

4:00 p.m. - Home from work. Only put in an extra hour and a half today. Phyllisann got me. She was supposed to do a Learning Team thing and ordered cookies. Then she got tied up and begged me to go pick them up for her. In my hot pink flowered jacket, my black, yellow, and brown blouse, and my orange paisley pants. Oh, also my green flip flop and yellow flip flop. Thank God the Subway was not far from the parking lot. I’ve done great today. Ate my yogurt for breakfast and an LC for lunch. Passed up the cookies and now I’m heading upstairs to workout. Not much more…another 6 hours or so to a perfect day.

5:45 - Just finished a butt-kickin workout. Still on track…what can I find for dinner? DH went by a Sub Shop and brought me a Chicago Beef Sub with Provolone and au jus. Jerk! Now he gets two of them. I suspect that’s what he had in mind…

6:15 - Damn! They’re ganging up on me! The twins wanted pizza and DH ordered it for them so they’re munching down on pizza and there’s way too much so it’s sitting there on the counter smelling wonderful. Be Strong, Patty! I’ve got some tilapia thawing in a sink full of cold water and I’ve got a big bowl of frozen fruit thawing. I’m going to try a recipe called “healthy ‘Fried’ Tiliapia” that promises a crunchy, crispy tiliapia filet without all the fat of deep frying! I’m starving!

9:45 - If you want crunchy, crispy, fried fish, fry it.  The recipe broke its promise.  Anyway, I ate it.  Along with some steamed green beans and fruit.  Perfect day!  I did it!  Now, I’m heading to bed.

Breakfast:
Light Yogurt (80)

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine (260)

Dinner
Tilapia (400)
green beans with cranraisins and almonds (100)
fruit (200)

Bowl of oatmeal with soy milk (200)

Total 1240

I did good yesterday and I can do it today. Just eat right, write everything down, and find some time to exercise. That’s all. Just do it. Weighing in at 167.5 this morning. Not a pretty number but I’m okay with it. I’ve been a bit off task lately and it will drop down in the next couple of days.

5:00 p.m. - Well, okay…I can do c25k. I didn’t prepare correctly for it but I did it. I had a rough day at work (it seems like all my days are rough lately) and my ankle was bothering me a little because I wore cutesy shoes and was on my feet almost all day. I came home and knew that I’d better go ahead and get it done before I got too tired. Went upstairs and it was HOT. It’s 84 degrees right now and the sun really beats down on the windows in that room. I started the podcast on my mp3 and it only gives you five minutes to warm up _ and that’s at a brisk walk. Not good. By the time I started jogging, my ankle was still bothering me. Anyway…I hung in there and got it done and it wasn’t bad at all except for the heat and my ankle not being warmed up enough. Next time, I know what I have to do. Walk and do aerobics for at least 20 minutes before I even start the podcast. That way, my ankle will be limber and ready to go. Other than the ankle and the heat, I was surprised at how easy it was. I’ve been doing occasional 1 1/2 or 2 minute jogs in the course of my workout but I didn’t know how I’d hold up with just 90 second intervals between them. Not bad.

Now I’m going to check out what some of you guys have been up to. I can relax a bit this evening. I was going to bring my laptop and work home with me but I couldn’t get out the door for people needing stuff and I finally got an attitude at 3:15 and decided I was NOT going to bring work home with me. I didn’t even get out of the building until 3:30 and I got there a half hour early and worked straight through lunch. Enough!

10:00 p.m. - Okay, I’m heading to bed. DH wanted to make some kind of casserole for dinner that he tried at work and someone gave him the recipe. Southwestern Baked Spaghetti. The recipe says it has 500 calories for 1/6 of a 9 x 13 pan. I find that hard to believe. Sooooo gross! Cooked spaghetti spread in the bottom of the pan, milk and egg poured over it, topped off with a layer of cooked ground beef, jalapenos, onion, and green pepper, a sauce of tomato sauce, oregano, basil, cumin, and chili powder, and cheddar and monterey jack on top. 500 calories? I find that difficult to believe but that’s what the recipe says. I didn’t eat all of mine. I thought it was nasty-assy!

I’m feeling a really strong urge to run away to my 100 acre woods (as the grandkids call it) in Florida and run around naked in the woods. We have a four day weekend coming up the first of November and I mentioned it to DH. Just the two of us. He’s a little hesitant because we’re already planning on going there for Thanksgiving but he didn’t come right out and say no. I’d love to get away from everything and everyone for a few days.

I stayed within my calories today but I don’t feel good about it. I didn’t eat breakfast and ate my LC at my desk while working away on my paperwork so I didn’t even remember eating it. Then I topped it all off with that greasy, gross casserole and realized I was way short on calories so I slurped down a bowl of cereal and a fudgesicle. Pretty desperate eating, don’t you think? No wonder I’m feeling a little queasy.

Lunch
Lean Cuisine (260)

Dinner:
some kind of southwestern baked spaghetti crap that DH made (500)

Kashi Go Lean and soymilk (200)

Fudgesicle (45)

Total (1,005)

A little Cat Stevens this morning.  I got up early and took my coffee to the spa.  Watched the sun rise and the moonflowers close.  I was considering that I ought to try getting up earlier so I could exercise while I’m still fresh but I really don’t think I want to do that.  I can get up early and read the paper or sit in the spa but I have to be up a couple of hours before I’m really energized.  I agree more with Rita Rudner when she says, “I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging.  If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to motorists, they would stay home and do push-ups.”  Yeah, Rita, I know where you’re coming from.   After my day with the heart monitor, I don’t think I want to jog.  I was really surprised to find that my heart rate is higher when I do step aerobics than jogging.  Given the choice, I’d much rather do step and I know step is a lot better for my ankles.

hmmm…DH says Meijer has pork loin on sale.  I’ve been waiting for a good time to stock up.  Guess this is it.  I have a lot of lean recipes that use pork loin.

I’ve been giving some thought to my dilemna.  How do I find the time to do everything I have to do and still have time for myself?  The answer is simple enough.  I have to give up TV.  It’s the only thing left.  I don’t want to get up early and it’s not a prime time for me to even think about exertion (much less practice it) anyway.  My days are pretty much consumed with work or family and I’ve got to fix dinner and do homework duty and run the boys around in the evenings.  I usually collapse in front of the TV for a couple of hours before I go to bed.  That’s when it has to be.  I really don’t want to do it then because I’m worn out but I don’t see any other time.  At least for now.  I know I could exercise when I get home from work but it’s too hot upstairs.  In a month or so, it won’t be.  Maybe then I can do something different.  Right now, I’m just in the Nike mode.  Just Do It.  Just weigh myself every morning, record everything I eat every day and exercise every day.  Just Do It.

I’ve really been missing you guys so I’m going to try to read some blogs and get caught up before the day overwhelms me.

11:15 - Okay, I finally had a chance to touch base with some chickies and see what everyone’s been up to.   Looking at what a lot of others are dealing with makes me feel like such a whiner…I’ll stop (for today).  I’ve decided that if I think of today as a light work day with lots of time off instead of an off day with lots of work, it’s a lot more palatable.

Speaking of palatable…those apple dumplings I had at the reunion last week…I made them last night.  Figured up the calories and they have 200 calories EACH!  We’re talkin about a little moon shaped dumpling and there’s no way I could ever eat just one.  So…I’m going to try to adapt the recipe today and see if I can come up with something halfway acceptable.  The recipe says to take three apples, peeled and cored, and slice them into eighths.  Take two cans of Pillsbury Flaky Biscuits and roll each one out, tuck an apple slice inside, fold it over and crimp the edges.  Lay them out in a buttered 13″ x9 ” dish.  Mix 2 cups of sugar, 2 sticks of butter, and a cup of water.  Bring it to a boil and pour it over the dumplings.  Sprinkle with cinnamon and bake at 350 for thirty minutes until browned.  200 calories…  each….  They come out with a syrupy caramel-like glaze on the bottom.  I made them last night but I used butter flavored Pam to coat the pan and two cups of Slenda instead of sugar.  That brought them down to 121 calories each.  They didn’t get that nice caramel glaze on the bottom of the pan but there was a enough of a syrup to make them pretty good anyway.  Still too many calories but diabetic DH was in 7th heaven.  He wasn’t real happy to find that the twins ate them all after he went to bed.  Now he wants me to make more today.  This time, I’m going to place them into two square pans and I’m going to use applesauce, splenda, and water with one and Brummel and Brown Yogurt spread, splenda, and water with the other.  That should bring the calorie level down to acceptable “diet” levels.  Will let you know how they turn out.  Right now, I’m off to work out!

9:15 p.m. - Okay, I wasn’t supposed to try C25K today.  It just wasn’t in the cards.  I did a tough one hour step workout and managed to keep my heart rate up around 140 for most of it.  That’s pretty good for an old lady like me.  When I was almost finished, it occured to me that I had meant to try the first session of C25K today.  I was actually pretty motivated and decided to do it before the day was over.  I worked most of the day on the newsletter and asked DS to download the first podcast of C25K onto my mp3 player and check to make sure it worked.  I finished working and decided to call it a day around 7:00 and watched The Visitor with DH while we ate dinner.  After dinner, I took my mp3 upstairs to do C25K and it didn’t work.  It wasn’t on there.  Since I was already dressed for it, I came back downstairs and tried to download it again but I can’t get it to work.  It’s gotta be fate.  I’m not supposed to do this today.

About those apple dumplings, DH messed up.  He went to the store and bought GOLDEN flaky biscuits.  The flaky biscuits have 40 calories each but the GOLDEN flaky biscuits are full of butter and have 100 calories each.  (sigh)  I tried though…I fixed one batch with water, splenda, and applesauce and it turned out mushy.  I did the other batch with Brummel and Brown, water, and splenda and it turned out decent.  Not what I would call great but good enough.  I only had one of each batch to see how they tasted.  Even so, I stayed within my 1200 calories today and got in a good workout so I’m happy enough to tell Nike that I just did it.

g’night, girls…

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine (310)

Dinner:
Pork Tenderloin (400)
Steamed Cabbage (100)
Kale (100)
teeny tiny bit of scalloped potatoes (100)
2 apple dumplings (200)

Total 1210

It feels good to be the only one up. Sitting here with my coffee, taking a few minutes for myself. I’m feeling a little angry (perturbed? resentful?) that so much of my weekend is going to be consumed with work. I’ve been trying desperately to get caught up but I finally decided, yesterday, that it wasn’t going to happen. I realized that I would have to bring a lot of work home with me and do it over the weekend. Once I accepted that, I felt a tremendous amount of stress leave me. I was able to just do my job yesterday and I didn’t even try to work on more than I could handle. In theory, my job is full time resource and I should be floating into classrooms assisting other teachers and performing my computer fixing miracles. Waving my magic wand and making everything alright. The reality, however, is very different. I’m run ragged with trying to plan lessons for my own students, teach them, grade papers, and still keep a handle on 1,500 computers and the needs of 100 teachers. Then there’s that vague aspect of my job that says I’m in a “leadership role” and have to take on other duties to promote the school. Duties like writing a four page newsletter and getting all my ducks in a row for the Nazi to do my evaluation next week. Organizing and presenting Professional Development Sessions and marketing the school. How come I get to do the “leadership” things but don’t get the administrator pay?

So…much of this weekend will be taken up with the newsletter and getting the paperwork in order for my observation. Steven was chosen as one of six ROTC cadets to participate in a parade in the little bedroom community where the school is located this morning. It’s quite an honor and, of course, he wants me to be there. I should also take pictures for the damn newsletter. I’d love it if I could just drop him off, come home, get some work done, and have him call me when he’s ready for me to pick him up. I don’t want him to be disappointed, however, so it looks like I’m going to be involved with the parade from 10:00 this morning to around 2:00 this afternoon.

I’m dreading getting my paperwork in order for my observation. Every day, I’m supposed to have a written lesson plan with my “essential question” and “learning objectives” that come directly from the Kentucky Core Content Guide”. What that means is that I know my students need to learn to use PowerPoint and I’m teaching them to do it. That won’t get it in the lesson plan book, however. In my lesson plan book, I write “Text Animation” which means I’m teaching them how to animate text that day. However, to appease the Nazi, I’m going to have to go back and formalize my lesson plan book to make sure each day’s lesson has the formal and correct “Essential Question” and “Learning Objective”. This may be useful for new teachers but experienced teachers should not have to write a formal lesson plan each day and look up all the corresponding Essential Questions and Learning Objectives when that time could be better spent doing other things. Most administrators recognize this but I’ve been assigned to the Nazi this year and I know I’m going to have to cross all the t’s and dot all the i’s.

I’m about to draw blood sitting here because my arms are itching and burning like crazy. I have a strong feeling that this is being caused by stress which brings me to today’s title. Where do we go from here? I’ve noticed that so many of us are feeling the pressure of the realities of day to day living and we’re struggling with the committment that it takes to stay the course. I see a common thread among us. A desperate attempt to hang in there when our lives are pulling us apart. I’m looking for a little peace. A bit of comfort, if you will. I’m feeling like the diet and exercise take so much when I have so little to give. I love this site and I love the blogging but I’m starting to shortchange it because of the time committment. I plan on giving this a lot of thought this weekend. Where do I go from here? How do I keep the fire burning?

1:15 - Taking a deeeeeep breath. I started itching and burning so badly this morning that I had to jump in the shower and try to see if the water would help it ease off. It didn’t. It felt like I had hives but nothing was visible. Now I have an 8 inch bruise down my right arm where I actually left claw marks from scratching. DH insisted that I take a Benadryl which I didn’t want to do because it might make me drowsy but I finally had to relent. I sloshed Caladryl Clear all over my arms and, if I hadn’t had to take Steven to the parade, I would have gone to the doctor. My arms were on fire! I have extremely sensitive skin and I must have had a reaction to something but I don’t know what it was. I’m highly allergic to Zest soap and don’t even allow it in the house but DS brought some in when he came in the other day and left it in the shower. I didn’t realize it was Zest and used it when I took my shower yesterday but I don’t know why it would cause such a severe reaction more than 24 hours later. Anyway, it’s eased off now. It was at its worst when the phone rang and one of the ROTC cadets called to see where we were. I told him we would be there by 10:30 and he said we were supposed to be there no later than 9:45. Seems the kiddo who spread the information told us the wrong time. At any rate, it caused me to go into panic mode and I didn’t have time to itch. We got to the park with about 20 minutes to spare and I found out that it was a one-way parade and I would have to walk with the parade for 4 miles (in my flip-flops). The president of the Booster Club and I were right behind the Color Guard and he and I had a fun time laughing and cutting up all along the route. I’m sure no one knew who we were. Even I don’t know why we were supposed to be in the parade but we had fun throwing candy and waving to everyone. By the time the parade ended, my itching was long forgotten. Here’s a picture of Steven and the other cadets. Steven is the one on the right holding the banner. His “dream” is to be in the Color Guard. He was so proud and I’m glad I could be there for him.

I see I’ve had a couple of comments since this morning. Susan, thank you so much for your committment and for recognizing how much work teachers do. It means so much. Brandie and kt, I have NO intention of stopping being here. My concern is with getting back on track, not getting farther away. This blog and all you little chickies mean so much to me. There’s no way I’m going to stop. It’s just that I have to figure out a way to make more time for it. This entire week I’ve been wondering how everyone is doing and trying to make time to catch up and I just couldn’t do it. I have to take a hard look at some things this weekend and make changes but it will not be to shortchange the chicks.

Right now…duty calls. I’ve got to get to work on the newsletter.

9:00 p.m. - Okay, I’m calling it quits for today on school stuff.  I’ve spent the entire day working but at least I’m getting a handle on things.  I’ve been working diligently all day except for jumping up now and then to attend to something about dinner.  I have two copies of a wonderful desktop publishing program that I use to do newsletters and my plan was to take the work I did at school, download it on my computer here at home and continue working on it.  I downloaded it and then found out that the program isn’t working on my computer here at home.  The CD won’t run and the entire program relies on the CD.  I wasn’t able to do the newsletter but at least I managed to write all the articles in Word and I can take them back to school and cut and paste into the desktop publishing program.

I also got a pretty good chunk of my lesson plans updated and written up.  All the little lessons matched up with their corresponding essential questions and learning objectives.  All tied up with a pretty red bow and attached to the Kentucky Core Content for Assessment.  Now all I have to do is finish the last little bit of the newsletter and write up two weeks worth of advance lesson plans in my book so the Nazi can see that I have everything under control.  In case I get hit by a truck, my substitute will be able to sail right along for at least two weeks.

DH must be able to tell how stressed I am because he’s been exceptionally compassionate and considerate today.  Bless his little heart, he went out and bought me a blood pressure cuff that you wear like a bracelet.  Guess he thought the itching episode was going to give me a heart attack.  How thoughtful.  I’d rather have something a little more romantic but I guess it’s the thought that counts.

Thanks for all your kind comments and support, Chicklets.  Hopefully, I can get things back into some semblance of order tomorrow and be ready to tackle the new week with a little more sophistication and poise.