Demolition Derby

The thing about a Demolition Derby is that you’re hit from all directions and you keep getting banged up but you can’t really whine about it because you put yourself there in the first place. If you don’t want to crash and burn, you better drag your sorry butt out of the way and limp back to safety.

I keep putting myself right back out there. Taking one hit after another. I really blew it yesterday. Ate a ton of junk last night. I worked my butt off and didn’t even take time for breakfast or lunch. I did manage to munch on a cheese stick and a handful of pretzels but I was starving when I finally got away from school at 3:30. I decided to go by the store on the way home which is not a good thing to do when I’m starving. I bought a lot of crap that I shouldn’t eat and then came home and ate junk all evening. Not much of a perfect day. Seems like the past couple of weeks, that’s what I do. I don’t seem to have much control over what’s going on. Even today, I have committments that will put me right back out there on the track. I have to go to Pam’s birthday party and DH won’t be able to go. That means I’ll be wandering around lots of food and drinks and kind of left on my own to socialize. There will be a few people that I know but most of them are strangers to me. Hopefully, I can visit for a couple of hours and leave without totally blowing it.

I also wanted to work out this morning but I have to take Andrew to Balfour to look at designs for his senior ring and they close at 1:00 today so I’ve got to get moving. Looks like I’m in for a bumpy ride today. Hope I can hang on and get away without too many dents.

12:30 – Word of advice about senior rings, ladies. Never try to order from a catalog or website. After looking through the brochures and catalogs over and over and trying to figure out what things look like, what’s included and what’s not, and how much all the different options cost, we finally gave up and headed down to Balfour. What a difference! You can look at all the rings, have them tell you what options are available and what’s included and be done and out the door in nothing flat! The process was really streamlined and Andrew really enjoyed seeing what things actually look like. It made it so much easier to pick the stone and the cut. Andrew could look at all the differnt stones and pick out the exact color he wanted and then look at the stone with all the different cuts and facets. He chose a navy blue sapphire and changed his mind from a fireburst to a more traditional cut when he saw what it actually looked like. I’m really pleased to have this taken care of. Final tally…$747.00! (gasp!) Senior rings ain’t cheap!

8:30 – Had a good time at Pam’s party. She didn’t want any presents except rocks for her “garden to be” so I tied a nice gold wired ribbon around a large chunk of pink granite from the Crazy Horse Memorial and gave it to her. I collect rocks from all the places we travel. I have beautiful red ones from the Arches area. Pink and coral from the area of Bryce Canyon and a lot of other beauties. I actually scrubbed the one I gave her and the flecks of gold, silver, and black sparkled against the pink grain. She likes my gardens and I’m not sure if the idea came from my gardens or her own thoughts but she got quite a few nice specimens.

I came home and sat in the spa for a while. The moonflowers and jasmine are beautiful and I don’t know how much longer I’ll get to enjoy them. There was a cool, gentle breeze dancing through the treetops and a lazy swirl of crisp yellow leaves drifted down to the spa. I was enjoying the sensuality of the experience when it occured to me that I spend a lot of time naked, in the dark, in the water. Almost every night and many mornings, I’m out there. I swim in the pool after dark, I relax in the spa, I even go out occasionally in the rain and stand there with the water pouring down on me.

A long time ago, I read an article about the sensitivity of a dolphin’s skin. They have an extraordinary number of nerve endings in their skin and the article said they spend their lives exhilarating in the feel of the water gliding over their bodies. I wonder if I have a little dolphin blood mixed in. I love feeling the water and the wind on my body. It’s not that I’m an exhibitionist. I have a nice, tall privacy fence in the backyard and a heavy canopy of leaves overhead. I’m not out there to be seen but I wouldn’t lose any sleep if I were. What are they going to see? An overweight, middle-aged woman with the same parts as any other woman. (Even though some of the parts may have shifted and dropped a little)

I think that’s one reason I love our place in Florida so much. Ten acres surrounded by dense woods.  All that privacy…no neighbors anywhere and my big old clawfoot tub out there in the flower garden under the moon and the stars. I love it when it rains at night. I just shed my clothes and run out in the meadow and enjoy the warm, Florida rain. I might startle a deer or a rabbit but there’s not much else out there.

The thing is…I don’t know anyone else who does this. Am I a bit strange or is it just that I have more opportunities to enjoy such experiences? I don’t guess it matters. I love the wind, and the water, and the rain, and the dark, and the moon, and the stars.

Fess up, ladies. Anyone else running around naked out there?

9:15 – Oops! Joy reminded me…I got so caught up in the spa experience I didn’t say much about the party. I did okay…had a beer and a glass of white wine. Ate a few appetizers and a slice of a concord grape pie. Had to try that! It was really good! I tried to stick to finger foods. I rationalized that there aren’t as many calories in them if you don’t break down and use a plate. Met a few new people with fun, appealing personalities. Actually had a very good time.


susan says 27th September @ 10:00

Patty, fasten your seat belt, you’ll find your stride again.

With starting up school, hurricane, restarting school, P.A.U.L., DIL issues, sleeping problems & whatnot, you’ve been knocked off kilter a bit perhaps.

Hold a bottle of water in your hand at the party, make nice-nice then go home and have some Patty Time.

Joy says 27th September @ 12:48

You have had a really tough couple of weeks. With the storm, the power going out, no school for a week, and then teastin right when you go back. That on top of everything else including lack of sleep! You held it together much better than I could have. You are a trooper, you are strong! You will rally and get right back on the wagon. I know that you can do this Patty. Look at is as the past, its behind you . Now start fresh. I believe in you!
That is sooooo sweet of you to buy the ring for him. he sounds like he really likes it.
I hope that you have a wonderful time at the party. If you go off a little from your plan dont beat yourself up. Have a nice time. Take care

Joy says 27th September @ 12:49

ooops TESTING not teasting LOL

brseay says 27th September @ 13:28

This approach doesn’t work for everyone, but I know that when I am in no frame of mind to make healthy choices I just give myself permission to do what I want. And what generally happens is that if I give myself permission to indulge I don’t go as crazy as I thought I would. It’s like once the pressure to be perfect is removed I can just focus on deciding if I’m really hungry, or if I really want the snack in front of me. Like the others have said, you have been facing a lot lately. Maybe you need a tiny break from perfection so that you will be rejuvinated when you get back to business. But no matter what happens tonight, if you eat nothing or every bite of food at the party, it will not reverse all of the progress you have made. I have faith that you will find your way back as soon as you can.

Joy says 27th September @ 20:26

How did the party go? Did you have a good time?

angela says 27th September @ 21:19

Nope I’m not out running around naked..lol…I think you’re lucky to have that type of environment in which you can do that freely…yay for no neighbours..I always say I want a house with a huge fence or no beighbours..privacy is amazing! So go ahead and be naked for as much as you want!!

eryn76 says 27th September @ 22:10

Property in FL you say? In the woods with no one around? You need anyone to check up on the place for you guys?

I do not run around naked. For one, there are little eyes around here that are getting bigger. Two, there are many people around. I think if I didn’t have neighbors or kids and it was dark and woodsy and such I would. That sounds like it is very relaxing.

Again, do you need someone to check up on the place for you? Just give me directions from Orlando, and I’m there!

brseay says 28th September @ 8:57

I am naked any chance I have, it’s just that most people in their daily lives don’t have a chance to be naked (outside) w/o getting arrested. But last fall we rented a cabin in the woods that had a hot tub on the deck and I was in that bad boy for what seemed like hours at a time in just my birthday suit.

Sounds like your gift was perfect for the occasion. You did such a great job explaining it that I could actually see the golden flecks in the beautiful piece of stone.

What I really want to say, though, is how much I admire you. I always have, but after I read your comment on my blog yesterday I realized that everyone has major issues to deal with in their lives yet most of us are unaware of what is going on. I cannot imagine how hurt you felt during that time and I’m sure for a long time afterward, and I’m sorry if I drudged up those feelings for you. I still believe that it’s just the poor diet/exercise and I will find out soon, but you have shown me that if I am just being naive that it is possible to work through things.

I feel so blessed to have met you through this forum. Even though we have never met I consider you a true friend.


susan says 28th September @ 11:23

Running through a field neked in the light of a full moon… hummm… Brings back a fond memory. There’s a certain field I pass every once in a while that brings a smile to my face. Can’t say I’ve done any naked rites lately though.

What a shame!

leighish says 28th September @ 23:37

Can’t say that I’m particularly fond of running around naked in the outdoors. In my house I almost prefer being naked as much as possible but those days will soon come to an end.

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