Sistah Pat

Wow!  Weighed 177 for about 4 hours this morning!  Then they gave me an IV during the colonoscopy and I came home and found I’m back at 181.  Bummer!!!  Why did they have to replace all those fluids?  I liked 177!

I am sooo glad that’s over with.  They found and removed one polyp (whatever that is) and said I won’t need another colonoscopy for three years.  The doctor said finding a small polyp is not unusual for someone over 50 and removing it was routine.

It was nice to see 177 this morning but I’m not thrilled with the way it happened.  Dulcolax, Miralax, and a day of fasting followed by a night of running to the bathroom is not any fun.  I think I’ll just stick to the old plan of diet and exercise.

As soon as I left the surgery center, I had Darryl take me to Subway and got 1/2 of a Subway club.  Tasted good but I really wanted to get home and get some coffee!  After 1/2 a sandwich and some coffee I’m feeling pretty normal.  I’m not supposed to do anything strenuous today so I guess the treadmill is out.  Felt a little woozy for a while so I came home and watched “I am Legend”  (so, so…).  Now I’m going to try to do some house cleaning.

6:15 - I’m drinking a Corona.  I’m tired, I’m frustrated, I’m used and abused.  David is the Executive Chef at the restaurant where he works.  His second-in-charge quit after a disagreement with the owner last Saturday.  I love my grandkids but I’m so tired of watching them.  Five days in a row without a break.  I’m sure David’s exhausted with dealing with everything he has going on and he’s working himself to death but I’m feeling really resentful this evening.  He won’t get a day off this week.  He doesn’t even know if he’s going to get a day off next week.  Even if they hire someone who fills the bill, he’ll still have to train them.  Still no word from Stacy.  I’m sure she’s out somewhere partying and having a ball with her friends and I’m watching the kids, feeding the kids, chasing the kids, and trying to keep my cool.  Scout is six years old and he had a bowel movement in his pants yesterday.  He did it again a few minutes ago.  He did the same thing the last time she took off.  He was two years old then and refused to use the toilet for almost a year.  How am I supposed to deal with this????  I know it’s some kind of anger, stress, psychological thing but I’ve tried to talk to him and he says he just had an “accident”.  I can’t really punish him but I  don’t relish cleaning up after a six year old either.

I’m angry that my routine has been disrupted and I’m having to take care of two little children at a time when I’m trying really hard to concentrate on myself.  These two are really good little boys but they’re being a pain in the a&& and I know it’s because they’ve been traumatized and don’t understand what’s going on.  Scout wants me to call Mommy so he can talk to her.  I told him I don’t have a phone number for her and he brought me the phone book and told me to find it.  I feel like crying.

8:00 p.m. - Just realized what I’m doing.  I fixed grilled ginger pork chops for dinner and microwaved sweet potatoes.  Found myself mindlessly playing solitaire and stuffing my face.  I ate TWO 1″ slices of pork tenderloin and the sweet potato I ate half of should have been cut in fourths.  Then I ate a McDonald’s Fruit and Yogurt Parfait.  I’ve eaten enough at dinner to make up a full day’s calories.  I’m sabotaging my diet out of anger and frustration.  This happened shortly after Scout crapped all over himself again, got it all over the bathroom when he tried to clean himself up and threw his underwear in the trash.  I don’t know what to do about this.  I didn’t get mad at him, I talked rationally to him about him being a big boy and knowing how to control himself earlier today.  After this latest incident, I told him if it happens again, I’ll have to get some pull-ups.  He said he might need some because he can’t help having “accidents”.  He’s not sick, if he were, I’d understand but he’s reverting back to what he did the last time his mother took off and I don’t want to deal with another year of this.

Had an epiphany.  Made Scout go in the bathroom and wipe down the floor and wall (although I’d already cleaned it up), dig his underwear out of the trashcan and rinse it out in the commode, squeeze out the water, take the downstairs and put them in the washer.  He DID NOT like that.  I made him scrub his hands with lots of soap and a nail brush.  I told him I didn’t like it either but he’s not a baby and I won’t clean up after him.  If he has an “accident”, he will have to clean it up.  Don’t know if this is the right thing to do.  We’ll have to see what happens.