Sistah Pat

Cover your ears, Amigos…

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

184.5 this morning!!!!!

This is starting out to be a great day! Oldest son, Darryl, gets in from New York a couple of minutes after I get up this morning, takes a look at me, and says “You are losing weight, Mom” This is the same son who said to me last summer, “Mom, I don’t want to hurt your feelings but have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re getting really wide.”

I took my shower, consoling myself the entire time that I might not be losing the pounds like I’d like but, evidently, I must be slimming down. I was wondering if I should adjust my goals to reflect new numbers for the next two weeks or try to lose the couple that were still hanging on along with five more over my next short term goal. Luckily, I didn’t have to make that decision. I stepped on the scales and they showed 184.5! I pulled on my PJs and hollered for Darryl to come and look. They still showed 184.5 and that was after I used deodorant and hair conditioner!

10:45 - Really busy today! My desk is covered in paperwork, I’m just now getting a bite of Kashi (and I do mean just a bite)

11:45 - Didn’t get to finish my little bit of Kashi but now it’s lunch time. Didn’t go out with the others but asked them to bring me back a Subway Club (320) calories with lettuce and tomato. Got my German kids through their final this morning. This is an on-line course and they have to finish in time for their work to be graded and show up in the course. As of today, they’re finished for the year.

The dust hasn’t even settled from this morning and I’m already looking at the next phase. Five more pounds in the next two weeks. That will be on June 1st. I want to be down to 180 by then. This shouldn’t be all that difficult because there are actually 16 days between today and June 1st. If I can stay on track, that will have me hiking Lower Calf Creek at 170 which is lower than I’ve been for at least six years. Still, that’s looking six weeks into the future and I don’t want to go beyond that. Six weeks and 15 pounds, that’s something I can deal with.

3:45 - Home again, better change and hit that treadmill.  The Subway sandwich at lunch was wonderful!

8:00 pm - Feeling just a little low right now.  I started my workout, got up to 45 minutes and was really starting to steam when Andrew came upstairs and said he really needed help with his schoolwork.  Since the boys have CAP tonight, I knew I would have to stop and deal with it so I did a quick cool down.  I only went 2.5 miles and burned 275 calories.  I helped the boys until they finished and went to CAP.  Darryl is back in town so he took them.  You’d think I’d be feeling good to have the house to myself for a change but it’s bothering me that I don’t ever seem to have the kind of control over my life that I should have by now.  I should be able to come home from work and hit the treadmill without being stopped.  It’s a little thing but it makes me aware of the fact that I’m raising two boys 15 years after I thought I was finished raising boys.  Sometimes it feels like I’m never going to reach a place where I can say what I want and do what I want without so many things getting in the way.  Will I ever get to retirement?  When we do, we’re going to move to our place in Florida and do what we want.  So what?  Five more years?  Seven?  Andrew and Steven are such wonderful boys that it makes me feel guilty to even think this way.  I wish I could enjoy my grandkids the way other grandparents do.  Love them and enjoy them and have nothing but happiness.  Not have to worry about their laundry, their dinner, their homework.  I feel guilty for even having written this.