25thApril

TGIF

I’m okay this morning.  Not feeling great but at least it’s Friday.  I planned ahead and packed my lunch from last night’s dinner before everyone ate.  Evidently, they’re going to eat till it’s gone so I have to set my lunch aside early.  It worked, I have my lunch but I just remembered that Phyllisanne said she was bringing carbs today.  Skinny little thing, how disgusting!  She runs all these races and, if she’s going to run on Saturday, she likes to bring in a big batch of spaghetti and garlic bread and share it with all her buddies to “carb up” as she calls it.  I definitely won’t be eating garlic bread but I may have a little portion of spaghetti.  We’ll have to see.

I still weigh 190 today.  That’s okay.  I’m not much more fond of 190 than I wasof 192 but it can hang around for today as long as it leaves tomorrow and I get to welcome 189.

Later…

I just finished breakfast.  I tried to set up a different category on menus where I could enter daily menus and calorie counts but can’t seem to make it work right so I guess I’ll just enter them on this page as individual blogs.

Why does everyone always try to feed me on Friday?  I brought lunch from last night’s dinner.  Now, I have to deal with Phyllisann’s carb binge where she made enough to feed half the teachers in the building but I think I’ll be okay on that because she made the meat sauce with ground turkey and I won’t take much pasta.  Then Cindy brought in some kind of Italian appetizer made from crescent rolls and served in little bitty slices.  She’s been ranting about these things so she brought them in for everyone to munch on.  I took one tiny little bite of one and it was wonderful!  I had to throw it out so I wouldn’t eat the rest of it.  You know me, now it will be my mission to try to find a way to lighten it up so I can figure out a way to eat some.  One of the problems is that it doesn’t have any nutritional information on the recipe so I’ll have to do some research.  Barbara, obviously worried that we might starve today, brought in a homemade strawberry pie to share.  Sorry, I can’t even try that one.  I know I’d eat an entire slice if I took a single bite.  …and this is Barbara, who just told me her latest diet is to picture how everything she eats would look if it was glued to her butt.  Does she think that pie’s going to go with her jeans?  Maybe I should get her some moon pies.

Even later…

Damn!  They’re like circling sharks!  Sometimes I feel like I don’t stand a chance.  Phyllisann set up her feast for everyone, she brought spaghetti and garlic bread and chips and salsa and an entire oblong casserole dish full of guacamole.  Me, I contributed a pitcher of iced tea and a box of Splenda.  Barbara starts in immediately about how fabulous the guacamole is but I’m not falling for it.  I told her I love guacamole but I’m really being careful about what I eat and I’m going to leave it alone.  Then she starts telling me about how avacados are in like the top 10% of healthy foods.  I told her that they were really fattening and I was afraid if I ate a little bit, I’d eat a lot.  So then she starts arguing with me about how I shouldn’t avoid avocados just because they have a lot of calories because they’re so nutritious.  Personally, I think she just wanted company walking down the hall with strawberry pie and guacamole glued to her ass but I resisted the impulse to join in and went to the refrigerator to get my leftover ginger pork and salad.  I opened the container to put it in the microwave and was shocked to see that I picked up the wrong container.  I got the one with two raw pork cutlets in marinade that I didn’t grill last night.  Of course, everybody jumped on me then and told me it was karma and I was supposed to eat carbs.  Not wanting to upset the delicate karma surrounding all the mini marathon runners, I was forced to eat spaghetti with meat sauce and a hefty spoonful of guacamole with 3 chips.  On the bright side, I only ate a little spaghetti and passed on the garlic bread and freshly grated parmesan.  It’s Friday, I’m tired (probably because I’m stuffed with spaghetti) and I just want to go home.

Signed,
Guacamole Ass

2 Comments

phyllisann says 28th April @ 10:02

Ok so just because I don’t seem to have a butt doesn’t mean that the guacamole and spaghetti won’t deposit itself somewhere–I don’t picture it attached to my backside –it’s usually in the cottage cheesey stomach region that I acquire it–thanks Pat!!!!!!

patty says 28th April @ 10:05

I really have no sympathy, cheesey stomach.


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