upstairs Room

So I’m back down again!  I’m 174.0 (-1.4lbs).

I did 1 mile of WATP (Walk Away the Pounds) at around 11am, then started again and did the whoe 2 miles around midnight.  Crazy, right?

Since Yumna started school, I’ve been often falling asleep with the kids when I put them to bed around 8:30pm.  I was under this impression when the bed time moved to an earlier time that my nights would be filled with a lot of me time.  Time to do my art, catch up with my shows, time to relax.  Well.. turns out my nights are filled with SLEEP!  I fall asleep with the girls, and don’t wake up until 11pm or later.  Get up and get some things done around the house (lunches ready, clothes out for the next day) and then go back to bed.  It really sucks.  I would just do the lunches ahead of time but then I would be sleeping 11 hours a day and be living the life of a 4 year old. Having things to do, forces me back awake and usually I can have a few minutes to myself.

So last night I decided to do my exercise since I didn’t get the whole program done during the day.  Well, after exercising, I couldn’t sleep.  I was tossing and turning the whole night.  My mind was racing.  I’ve been really stressing about this H1N1 Swine Flu lately.  I wasn’t even worried before.  I had no plans to vaccinate my kids.. it seemed so far away from me that I wasn’t even concerned.  Then on Monday, I got a call from my friend, who told me that another one of our friend’s son had caught it and had been in the hospital for 5 DAYS!  I called my friend and she told me the nightmare of her life of the last week and how she thought her son was going to die.  It really freaked me out!  Thank God he is better now and at home.  This hit very close to home now.  My “not me” mentality went out the window.

And so then I have been considering getting the kids the H1N1 vaccine.  But, that too has me tossing and turning, being such a new vaccine and just the oodles of weird stuff I have read has got me stressing too.   I didn’t get the kids the Chicken Pox vaccine because it was too new and really whats the big deal if they do get chicken pox?  I never have had the seasonal flu vaccine, or given it to the kids.

The old tested and true ones, the ones you need to attend school, no problem, but even them, I get the kids done one vaccine at a time.  Some pediatricians will administer two at a time, but I prefer to spread them out.  And delay them.. so the 12 month one I will do a couple months later, etc.

Maybe you think I’m paranoid.. and perhaps I am.  I figure why not be cautious?  It doesn’t take anything away from the kids, and doesn’t cost me any extra.  But this vaccine is driving me crazy,  damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.. I feel like I’m swimming blindly into this battle.  And the kicker is that this year Yumna is in school, so yes, to some extent you can control your own environment, but at school, FORGET ABOUT IT!

We had a lot of media attention to the H1N1 lately too, because a healthy 11 year old died, two days after complaining about a sore throat and cough from the H1N1.  And do you know what the Chief Medical Officer said.. not that this was unusual and unheard of.  He instead turned it back on the parents, saying that infact the kid was not healthy, because he had asthma.  What?  And the parents are saying that the kid did not have asthma, but had used puffers one winter many years ago when he had a cold.  That really freaked me out!  Yumna uses puffers ever winter when she has a cold.  She has already used them this year when she wasn’t feeling well in September. So, is she at risk?

Anyway, this is all the stuff I’m wrestling with at the moment.  So exercising before going to bed, with all of these thoughts in my head did not lend well to a restful night.  Yumna was coughing and sneezing this morning, so I decided to keep her home.  Let her rest for a day and relax.  Get better.. it’s not like there are many kids at school anyway.  Yesterday 7 out of 20 kids were away from her class and 6 out of 15 in the other class.  Everyone is stressed out.

Sorry, I didn’t intend for this to be a flu rant.  But.. this is where my head is at today.

Filed under: Day to Day | 2 Comments »

Weight today is 175.4  (+0.8lbs)

Exercise yesterday was 8 minutes of Walk Away the Pounds, before I got interrupted and never got back to it.

Eating wasn’t as stellar as I would of liked it to be.  There was an encounter with a Jr. Whopper.  Don’t ask.

Hope you are all having a wonderful day.  Today will be better!

Filed under: Day to Day | 2 Comments »

So this morning I weighed in at 174.6 - 2 lbs lost in one day!!!!! I attribute it completely to the large amount of crystal light I drank yesterday.  I completely dilute the mix.. I use one of the single crystal lights for my whole jug of water.  This gives my water a little bit of flavour that I need to down it all.

I exercised too! I did the 2 Mile Walk Away the Pounds video.  I know, not the most exciting thing, but this is what worked for me in the past.  I know that I got frustrated after a while doing this, because I needed a bigger challenge.  But, for now, I have to work myself back up to the level of fitness I was at a couple of months ago.

Beerab, I usually weigh myself every day.. morning and night too, but some how, I feel like having to post the numbers here will make a difference.  I get very embarrassed to gain weight and announce it to the world, so now this will force me to be good every day.  I’ve given myself Saturdays and Sundays off from the weigh in, only because I usually don’t get a chance to get on the computer on the weekends. I will still use Mondays as my official weigh ins too.

Today has been a busy day.  After dropping Yumna to school I realized that I forgot to pack her lunch, so I had to go back to school and drop it off.  I ended up staying for a bit and helping with some things around the school, then Safiya and I went grocery shopping and now we are home and going to have an early lunch.

I made a huge chick pea salad yesterday at lunch and slowly been eating a bowl at a time. It’s made it easy for me when I get hungry, because I have something healthy to turn to, rather than pick up some junk.  I went to bed super early yesterday.  I fell asleep with the girls at 8:30pm, and woke up around 10:45pm, watched a little TV and went back to bed.  Poor Yumna woke up crying that she had an ear ache in the middle of the night.  This woke up Safiya.  So I had to put them both back to bed.. and we didn’t wake up with the alarm.

I wanted to refer you guys to this great post about drinking water.  It really helped me realize that I could really do myself a great favour by increasing my water consumption.

Filed under: Day to Day | 5 Comments »

Seriously!  I’ve gained almost 2lbs in two weeks.  This is really bad.  Okay.  So starting with accountability I am going to give every day reports of my exercise and weight (Monday-Friday).  I think this is the only way.

Filed under: Day to Day | 1 Comment »

I’m not weighing in until Monday.  I think I’ve driven myself crazy weighing in every day.  I am tired of being disappointed every time I get on the scale.

Yesterday, after dropping off Yumna to school and DH to the train station, we went to visit a friend of mine who has kids.  She is also trying to lose weight too and she has lost some steam as well.  I found that when I had to report my weight every week things stayed on track a lot better.  Fat Pants, beerab and I were in the 70 lbs. to lose post when I first met them, and it was very helpful to have to report and then see how much you lost compared to others.   I don’t know if any of you would be interested in doing that again?  Let me know, and either we can set up a post on the forums or do it on the blogs every week.

I decided that I am now going to solely focus on exercise now.  I am allowing myself to eat what I want on the condition that I exercise during the day.  Once I get the exercise habit going again then I don’t think it will be hard to reinstate watching the food.  I figure it will motivate me to eat better because I will see some results!

Yesterday I mowed the lawn, and today the plan is to get out in the garden and plant my bulbs and pick up all the rotten apples from the ground.

——————————————-

Thank you Fat Pants for the Gorgeous Blogger Award.  Not that I deserve it, I’ve been completely delinquent from blogging over the last couple of months.  I think I’m more motivated to blog when I have been successful then when I’m staying the same weight.

Rules:

-Include the award on your blog or post
-Share with everyone six interesting facts about yourself
-Nominate as many bloggers as you like
-Be sure to link the nominees within your post
-Let them know that they received this award through their tagboards or private message them
-Share the love and link this post so that everyone will know the person whom you received your award from.

Six Facts About Me

1.  I did my degree in math, and have always been considered a very logical person.  However, in my heart I know I am an artist.  I am the most happiest in front of a canvas with my paints.

2.  With both of my kids, I really wanted a girls.. and I got them!  I like boys, but I don’t feel the need to have a third kid to try for one.  I am very scared of getting pregnant again. My pregnancies involve a lot of vomiting. However, if the situation was reversed, and I had two boys, I would try for a girl despite all the vomit.

3.  I think of Safiya and Yumna as my heart and soul respectively.  They are both so different from each other and bring me such special aspects to my life, I don’t know if that makes sense, but somehow I need them both equally, but differently.  Sort of like my brain and my heart - I need both to live.  They bring me so much happiness and love and I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

4.  My Mom’s sister is married to my Dad’s brother.

5.  I am a very simple person when it comes to material possessions.  I would probably be more comfortable if I lived in a smaller house, and had an old car.  I think most of my house would be unfurnished if it were up to me.  It’s a good thing my husband takes an interest in these things or there would be no where for guests to sit when they come over.  Which brings me to no. 6.

6.  I think my husband balances me out completely.  He is my best friend and somehow has every quality that I lack.  He helps me out with the inside the house work, and I enjoy doing the outside the house work.  He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he only gets better with time!

As for my nominees.. I only read like 5 blogs, and you are all nominated.  So I am going to skip that part.

Thanks again for the nomination Fat Pants.

Filed under: Day to Day | 3 Comments »

Okay, so I’ve already been home a week and NADA.  I haven’t lost anything, in fact I’m pretty sure I gained.

I said to my husband that I really need to take a new approach to losing weight.  And he said “Yeah, you think the eating whatever you want and not exercise approach just isn’t getting you the results you want?”.

I couldn’t help but laughing.  Basically that has been my approach.  In my head I think I’m doing more.  I try to eat okay, but usually I end up eating some kind of crap during the day.  I don’t exercise at all.  So that has got to change. NOW.

So yesterday, I went for a walk with Safiya on this beautiful trail.  She insisted on running the whole time, which meant I had to run too.  Who knew my daughter had a future in personal training!

My skin is just brutal right now, with the cold coming in and the dryness I am going back to being paperskin.  The stress of the last couple of weeks hasn’t helped either.  The last two weeks have been so stressful.  Horribly stressful,  I would go into details but it would only stress me out more to have to write about it.

Here’s to hoping that things start getting better.. or rather that I learn how to manage the stress better.

Filed under: Day to Day | 1 Comment »

So I went back to work, and Safiya went to daycare.. and it was a huge huge huge disaster.  I was having regrets about going back, and Safiya was not handling being away from me at all.  I knew she was crying a lot at daycare, but I thought it was going to get better.  But, when I found her on Thursday to pick her up, she was still in her coat, wearing her hat, with her little bag and her voice was gone from crying so badly.  My heart broke and I decided that this just wasn’t right.

On Friday, I asked my husband to stay home, I went to work and quit.  I asked for a leave of absence and I will see if I get it, if not I will take all my accumulated holidays, and then quit for good.  There are other choices, but I think this is the best choice for us right now.

For the short week that I worked, I found it impossible to eat well, and exercise, forget about it.. So, I’ve decided that since I’m back home again, I really need to make this a priority.

On the other hand, I have to say that I have been pretty happy about at least being able to maintain my weight.  Today I weighed in at 174.8 lbs.  I’ve been fluctuating between 176 and 173 for the last couple of months.

Filed under: Day to Day | 6 Comments »

So much has happened since I last posted.  My friend past away on Sunday, I went for the funeral prayer on Monday.  It was very emotional and trying. I’ve never seen someone so sick in my life.  In some ways I tell myself that it is probably a mercy for her and her family to die, so they don’t have to watch her suffer.  But a part of me is just so torn because she has a small little girl and a husband.  How does a little girl handle not having her Mom anymore. I can’t stop thinking about her family.

I go back to work on Monday, so I don’t know how much I will be able to keep posting here, but I will do my best to check in once in awhile.  I weighed in at 174.6 lbs. today, so I will keep trying to lose and report here from time to time.

Thank you all so much for your help along the way.

Filed under: Day to Day | 5 Comments »

Okay, so I went to Kitchener to visit my friend.  She is in a really bad state.  Her Mom was feeding her, she couldn’t talk, walk.. I was happy to get a beautiful smile from her.  I wasn’t in any way prepared for this.  I had no idea that she was in this bad of a state.  I left the hospital and cried.  It took everything inside me not to start crying there. She’s in the Palliative Care area, that’s where people go when they are too sick to treat.  I have no idea how her Mom has the strength to be there everyday, watching her daughter, among these really old and sick people.

Please pray for her.

Filed under: Day to Day | 2 Comments »

An early post today, but so far things are going great.  I weighed in at 172.6 lbs today.

Yesterday I was totally on plan.  For breakfast, Fibre1 with milk, lunch was a little bit of brown rice with green beans and chickpeas and a large green salad, and for dinner, I made cabbage, lentils, brown rice and more salad. Snacks were yogurt and grapes.

Exercise didn’t happen, but will today.  I am going to visit a friend of mine in a city close by at the hospital.  She has a brain cancer, and it has come back quite aggressively.  After that I’ll come home, and hopefully Safi will be taking a nap and I can exercise.  That’s the plan anyway, let’s see how it goes.

Filed under: Day to Day | 4 Comments »