upstairs Room

Sometimes you really need to just chill out.  And that is exactly what we did this weekend.   We went to see UP with the kids on Friday and went for dinner with my brother in law and his wife.  We had a great time and I managed to eat okay that day.

Saturday we went strawberry picking with my Mom and sister.  The kids had a great time and it was really fun watching the girls pick the strawberries.. It was Safiya’s first time doing the picking.  Last year she was too small and we had her in the stroller but this year she had a blast collecting the strawberries in her basket.  I had to have the obligatory strawberry ice cream and a delicious pecan tart there, so I didn’t do as well as I would have liked.  And then we went back to my Mom’s house for lunch and we had chocolate dipped strawberries afterwards.  I don’t really care though, these are the fun times we will remember for a long time. This is a yearly tradition with us.. I think we’ve been going every year for 20 years and well I hope to be taking the girls for another 20 years.  (We’ll be back in July for the blueberries too!)

Did you know strawberries are called that because they need straw to grow properly.  They are not supposed to touch the ground. Who knew?

Yesterday I went to a meeting for Canadian Pakistanis for the Arts.  It was my first time going and I really enjoyed learning more about Pakistani Art.  I was really hesitant about going.. and then I realized something.  Something I hadn’t really noticed.  I always have a hard time going to parties and other social gatherings.  I usually will try and make excuses not go to anything.  And then as I get ready to go I will often just say.. “Forget it.. you guys go without me.”  And the reason I do this is because I feel so uncomfortable about the way I look.  Everything usually works out fine in the end, but each and every time I go through such a similar battle.

So as I got ready, I was doing my same rant.. maybe I won’t go… and my husband said to me.  Just Go.  You can make excuses as much as you like not to do stuff, but then you sit here and complain how you do nothing.  And so I shut up.  I stopped thinking too much about it and just got ready and left.  I took the train downtown and went to the meeting and met lots of new interesting people and saw some people I knew and came back.  I know this is a self-esteem issue.  I know it’s all in my head. I am sure I look fine, and that no one is really looking at me that closely.  And I’m not even looking at them that closely.

I will notice a person’s face.  Beyond that I don’t really care.  I won’t remember the clothes you were wearing or whether you’ve gained ten pounds.  I never look that closely.  And probably neither does anyone else.  I really have to remind myself of this before I start getting anxious about going to social gatherings.

After the meeting, my husband and kids picked me up from the train station and we went to the park for a while. It was such a perfect evening I can’t even tell you.  We even came home and made dinner on the bbq, and it started raining right after we finished cooking the food.  Perfect timing.

And so the moral of the story is sometimes we need to relax

Filed under: Day to Day