25 years young

Hate having my period because I feel so lazy and sad fat as a hippo. I did go to my 6.30am class but I couldn’t manage working out on the machines. I still have my 5pm class later today. But, right now I feel just like the weather looks outside - grey, gloomy and depressing.

Hope I make it through the day without going insane on chocolate or something. Will do my best to control myself no matter what.

Did a 45 min spin class this morning. Felt a little tired as I stayed up late last night. When I got home from gym, I got my period. I did sense something strange yesterday because I felt a BIG craving for red meat and then later on felt for a huge slice of chocolate fudgy cake. Usually, I never crave chocolate,so whenever I do it is a good indication for me for what will be coming. I was pleasantly surprised to see that my tummy wasn’t bloated as usual when I am on my period. Feels good.

I was shocked to see that one of my cycling shorts had holes at the back. And I have been so busy that I dont know whether I checked to see how it looked when I wore them to the gym yesterday. So I felt a little embarrassed. And now, I need to buy a new pair of shorts. I saw some really cool pink and grey Nike one’s at the store… price tag was a little insane for my budget right now. So maybe I will just settle for some plain old H&M stuff.

22.47 i did my 5pm class. Something was the matter with my left knee. Each time I was pedaling, it felt as if i was pulling a muscle or something. So I had to stop every 5 min or so and stretch out my knee. I really didn’t want to over do it because about 4 years ago I injured my knee during a silly work sports event. And it took forever to heal. So, I decided to take it easy during the class because I didn’t want anything to sabotage my workouts that i have scheduled.

Got home and decided to make a veggie stir fry with brown rice. Was yummy and fulling … extremely fulling. I might have ate too much. I don’t know why but when it comes to Chinese/Thai/Indian kind of food, I become really greedy. Like taking bites here and there and I find that I can’t stop myself. I need to work harder at controlling this because I want to eat everything in moderation.

My moods really went up and down today. One minute happy and the next I am screaming at my fiance. Shame poor baby. He hugged me and let me know he was there for me. Then I got mad at him for being so kind. What is wrong with me ?? Two minutes later, i told him sorry and he said it’s cool. I love him madly! We shared a slice of wonderful hazelnut and chocolate cake which he baked the other day. It was good. I have decided not to act all crazy and feel guilty. Instead, I decided that I will have to rather do my 6.30 am spin class + burn 500 cals on the machines tomorrow morning. I also booked myself for the 5pm spin class. I am only exercising like mad because next week there are hardly no spin class because everybody is going away for their summer holidays

I watched some stuff on youtube today about the Biggest Loser. They do average 6 hour workouts on the show and this one contest continued with the program even after she left. I sat there thinking… how on earth can you manage 6 hour workouts everyday and still take care of your life ??? It really puzzled me. Also made me feel like my exercises weren’t enough. But then, i thought to myself that I could never do 6 hours everyday. That just couldn’t be my whole life. I don’t know, I guess in terms of my journey, I just want to be able to eat normally and exercise. My fiance always teaches me about balance and I am a big believe in it.

Off to bed soon. Good night and take care! xoxo

This morning I did a 55 min spin class. I liked the instructor, she was tough. Before the class, I went on the treadmill to warm up and burned 100 cals. I have another spin class scheduled for this 5pm.

21.05 My 5pm spin class was good. I know I am pushing my body really hard with the gym. But I have realized that I really like spinning. No actually, I LOVE IT! I know that to most people, it is possibly one of the worst things to go through. But, I feel different about it. It is nice having something that is enjoyable and as a bonus pushes my journey in the right direction.

Tomorrow morning I have a class at 10am. I think I will wake up earlier and do some exercises on the other machines. I have been eating well aswell. Generally, my meals are ww bread with mackerel, chicken liver pate, lf chicken cream cheese, lf rasberry jam & slices of banana. No butter on my breads. I have been really lazy with the food journal. However, I know that I am eating well and eating portions.

I am seeing a change in my body. The scale isn’t really being kind though. However, one thing that is fabulous is that my clothes are fitting much better .. i can see less bulging

Talking about the scale. I am thinking that maybe i need to go and buy a new one. There is something the matter with the one here at the apartment. At the moment, my budget is extremely tight so I am always worried with spending too much money on things. So i have ignored the whole scale thing and actually rewarded myself in looking at myself in the mirror and seeing change.

Going to go do some reading now and watch a little tv. Good night! xoxo

I decided to do two spinning classes last night. One was 55 min and the other 45 min. I was amazed that I lasted both of them! But, I really did think that I was going to die in the second one! My one fear was that I was going to overeat to compensate for the exercise but thankfully I didn’t. I ate low sugar crisp breads with 3% lf creamed cheese, think i had about 8, but they were really tiny one’s.

This morning I am going to the gym to burn 500 cals. Probably eliptical and treadmil combo. Also, going to do muscle work.

Last night, I was really sad because I started to think of all my girlfriends that I missed from home It was a  sad sight. But I think, I miss the girl support. I cried to my fiance about it and he was sad that he didn’t know any women here that he could introduce me to. However, we will be going to Sweden soon and it’s going to be great meeting my old friends from Sweden. I have heard that I will also meet some Norwegian girls, so I am happy Gosh, I sound kind of desperate for friends, don’t I ? Well, in any event, we are going to be living here forever so I have to stop being shy and start networking. God knows, I cant stand to listen to the boys play another geeky computer game! Need to get out more.

Ok, better get my ass to gym now!

xoxo

Been a little busy the last couple of days so haven’t had a chance to write. On Friday, i did an early morning spin class 45 min. Was supposed to do an evening one as well but friends decided to do a last minute dinner party at their house. Very sweet couple and the lady is pregnant. Baby is due in August/September. So, I decided I would cook. I love cooking and their kitchen is really nice. Decided to make some Thai food. Made a Thai Chicken green curry with cashew nuts with Jasmine rice to serve and a Chicken Pad Thai with yummy veggies. Also made a couple of mild Chicken Satay’s for their 6 yr old daughter, she doesn’t like anything too spicy.

The dinner was a huge success. I love it when friends are together and enjoy food. I was really nervous about cooking the dishes but the lady actually told me that I should host ladies dinner parties and she would love me to cook at them. Very sweet. I must admit, I really do get a BIG head when people compliment me about my cooking.  Oh, also had a glass of wine and about 4 tsp of dessert which was vanilla ice cream and choc brownies. Couldn’t finish it because I knew it would be a waste of all my exercising.

Then yesterday, I went to a spin class. The class was very tough. Then I decided to go and burn 600 cals on the machines. By the time I got home, I could barely walk. Soooo exhausted. But I felt really good inside that I had worked so hard. I think the whole time at the gym, I kept thinking about all the Thai food I was burning off …

We had a wine and cheese evening last night. Didn’t go too crazy on the wine, only had a glass of white and 2 glasses of water. Tasted the cheeses but didn’t go all out mad. What I was most proud of was the fact that I didnt decide to do an evening of me getting totally drunk. I was close to thinking about it though. Was feeling sad yesterday and wondered if maybe the sweet wine could ease my pain. But I learned from my last week and I stopped. Extremely seriously proud of myself.

To my credit this morning, because of not getting drunk last night, I went to do a 55 min spin class and burned 500 cals on the machines. Tired now. But, the weekend exercise and eating has been very good. Going to have a relaxing Sunday reading my Norwegian books.

xoxo

I didn’t wake up as early as I planned. My body was so tired after yesterday that I decided to sleep in a little. Then I woke up to get ready for the morning spin class. I was planning on going on the machines but because I felt so tired, I knew that I wouldn’t inspire myself to work hard on the machines. In any case, the class was unbelievably tough and the whole way, i thought ” My Gosh! She is a crazy bitch!” She was like a robot spin instructor. But I guess, we all need that to always keep pushing harder.

Will aim for another evening session tonight at the gym. I need to put it all the hours that I can before our trip. I know that I will be drinking ALLOT when i get there. So I need to work hard and look fabulous for the event.

06.33 showered and relaxing a little after my 5pm spin class. Wow another tough one but I don’t feel myself wanting to lower the resistance of the bike every 5 min like previously. So i know it is a good sign that I am adapting to it. I only want to get stronger and stronger! It feels great.

I am still full from lunch. So if I am going to have anything, it will have to be a light veg soup with some chickpeas i think. I dont want to minus all the good exercise that I did today.

Have to get back to my Norwegian studies… going well

B - apple. coffee

L - 2 boiled eggs, 3 chicken/turkey hotdogs, mustard and ketchup. 2 kiwis

S - 1 glass milk. small banana

D - Fish soup (40kcals). Added onions, garlic and sweet corn. Plus 2 tbls of greek yoghurt.

Put some new cool songs on my iPod. My sister used to always update my iPod but yesterday I thought, i can’t not know how to my whole life. Was simple. So went to the gym this morning and I really worked my ass off! Wow. I burned 500 cals on the machines. I realized that working out on the machines is soooooooooooo much harder than going for a spinning class! I decided that for the next 2 weeks before my trip to Sweden, I will wake up early and go burn 500 cals. It will teach me that eating extra food is going to mean burning extra cals.

Did a 55 min spin class. Loved it. Really worked hard at it. So beat. Tired as hell. Going to a session in the morning so i have promised myself that i will not sleep late.

B - fruit salad and lf yoghurt

S - apple

L - tuna salad with sweet corn, chick peas and sugar snaps. dry mix french dressing mixed with greek yoghurt. 1 cup coffee.

S - 2 cups coffee

D - rice pudding, unsweetned.

Ok so the last two days, my whole plan went to shit. I got sick and I went into this dark depression thinking about how my plan is never going to work and how I will just not blow out my candles being thin this year. It got ugly. Seriously ugly. I started eating everything in sight. And last night was the high point. Many many glasses of wine and pizza. There was other fatty stuff before that but I am not going to get into it.

So today, I am getting back on track. What happened was just a hick up in my plan. You would think that by now, I should be smart enough to plan for those days and have food prepared for when I feel like that. But, I didn’t. One of the reasons that I went so crazy is because I didn’t lose any weight from last week. I felt really crap and I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. Instead of dealing with it properly, I went MAD.

I am doing this for my life. I plan on having children one day and my relationship with food over the last two days was just not healthy. I don’t want my kid seeing that. I don’t want me being like that. I can’t hurt myself anymore.

I know that this did bring about something good though. When I woke up, I really didn’t like how I felt. I was drinking so much to cure a pain inside of me but all I did was make it worse. And, I realized that I loved the way I felt over the last two weeks. I felt good. Eating well and exercising. So, this is the time where I have to make the decision to choose what I want. I am still burning with desire to make this happen. I choose good health! And a happy happy happy me!

Note to self: Getting to the weigh in this weekend is going to be hard. Calories in - Calories out = Weight loss

——

5.15 I am soooooooooooooooo Happy! A really good friend of mine called me. She lives in Sweden and invited us to her 25th birthday which is on the 4th July. I am really looking forward to it. Hmmm … wonder how much weight I can lose before the event. Well here goes nothing! Or better yet.. here goes everything!