25 years young

I am over the moon to know that my pants are loose. But seriously, they look silly on me. I mean, i pull them out to see how much space is in between my actual stomache and my jeans and i look like those people advertising weight loss products.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the feeling! But, i had to research what size I am actually supposed to be wearing. The jeans i have on today are a EU size 38 (US 8). And the label on the pants says 105cm. Having measured my hips I am around 88cm. And according to: http://www.usatourist.com/english/tips/Womens-Sizes.html … i should be wearing somewhere between a size 32 and 34 (US 2 and 4). I think something must be wrong with the site so i googled more and i found to be somewhat correct. But, i am pretty sure i would fit ok in a size 36. I just cannot picture me in those sizes. It would mean that I am almost on par with my small/skinny friends. Hard for my brain to digest.

The best way I guess, is just to go and have a day of jeans shopping. I dont want to go to stores and try on small sizes and be all happy. Because then, I am going to feel as if I have reached goal and that isn’t true. And we all know that jeans are the LEAST forgiving clothes. So i will make a plan to try on a couple of pairs and let you guys know.

I will be having a day out in the city tomorrow. I am going to be leaving my CV in a couple of clothing stores because i need a job and I like the idea of working in a clothes store. I love fashion. And, goodness knows I will be needing new smaller clothes! So i might aswell get them on some kind of employee discount system

Having weighed myself yesterday, I reopened the battle with the scale. Well ok, it isn’t that dramatic. But, i thought, that since I weigh 73.3kg - there is 3.3kg standing between me and what I believe will make me happy i.e to actually weigh under 70. Imagine that.To actually see the number 60 again on the scale!! I am closer now than i have ever been!

So, what does it mean to me to lose 3.3kg ?

1. I will feel like these last couple of months of hard sweat in the spinning classes actually worked.

2. I will know that when I set my mind to something, i can actually do it. Ok, I know that my goal when I started this journey was to weigh 60kg by my birthday. So i am off target by 10kg. Well 13.3kg to be exact. But, having lost the weight i have, I have begun to see myself in a whole new light. That is more important to me than 13.3 kg. Because, as with many 3FC members, after you get to goal you have to maintain, and i believe that I am learning all the lessons i need to maintain a good body and be healthy.

3. I can buy small clothes! How cool! Well right now, i fit into US Medium sizes and they arent tight. So thats great. The feeling of looking great in clothes is like no other! I LOVE IT!

4. I will be learning how to see food in a positive way.

5. I will be able to one day teach my  kids to have a balance with food.

YAY! YAY! YAY!

Short story: Weighed myself and i weigh 73.3 kg! Under 70 seems so close!
Long story: My fiance and I decided we would weigh ourselves each Sunday and see whether eating well and exercising actually makes a difference. He feels that my portion sizes are big and i eat more than him. So i am on fire to prove him wrong! Wow i wonder how quick i can get under 70 !?

I ended up waking up early this morning and went to the morning spin class. My body responded well to the spinning and I had no real pains from my back, so that was great.

I also planned to do a second class an hour after that. And, I am very proud to say that I did it! I enjoyed both classes and I feel so great after working out. My face looks great and so does my waistline

Going to IKEA tonight to get a few things for the apartment. We’re going to eat there aswell, and I have to say that I really like the food there. Good healthy veggie section!

Take care xoxo

I realized just why I love this forum - i never feel alone. I always feel like there is somebody out there who is going through similiar pains.

This week has been ok. Reason for just OK, is that my back started hurting in the begining of the work so i have only been to gym once this week. I was fighting with myself whether i should just go to the spin class tomorrow morning or just see where this week takes me. The second option, is not going to get me to body-happy state of mind. But, i just cant seem to find the inspiration i had a while back. I think, i feel thin already so i dont see the need to go to gym and sweat my butt off. But, the truth is that I have to keep fighting. Also, something i have noticed is that I feel a million times better when i actually do exercise. It keeps me positive. Having not exercised the last 3 days, i feel down and depressed and when i feel that way, portion control is out the window.

I have been wondering. Should i fix my issues with food before i go to the gym or should i work on both these issues ? Will i ever be cured with this unhealthy relationship i have with food ? Why cant I eat and when i am full - just stop. Or even before i am full. I want to feel the same way smaller (skinny) people feel, eat a small amount and smile and then not think about food for 95% of the rest of the day!

I realize i have to fix my relationship with food. So here are my mini goals for this week:

- Eat 3 small meals a day and only eat what is on your plate. No seconds!

- Drink water. Six cups will do plus two cups of tea

- When you find yourself thinking about food, grab a book and read a couple of pages. Or basically, just busy your mind with other things! Work, the news, home decoration …

I have come to realize that losing weight is one of the MOST wonderful feelings in the world! Ok, maybe it is a close tie with being in love with my fiance. But, I LOVE this feeling.

Looking at my body is something i have to stop doing. Honestly, i find myself looking at my body in the mirror every morning because i cannot get over how flat my stomach is getting in, what feels like a couple of days. I tell you, if there is anything that i have learnt, it is the following :

I can spin my butt off and do a million spinning classes but if i dont have my eating and more importantly, my portions under control, it is a waste of time to sweat and workout in the gym.

My birthday is getting closer and closer. I have yet to weigh myself. But, I dont want to. Only because, i dont want to become paranoid with the scale. I want to focus on eating the right amount of food and working out. What follows is just a better body - the best body i can have for the rest of my life!

Wish you could see me right now - full of smiles!

xoxo

My fiance got back from Vegas with new clothes. It is so exciting since i haven’t been clothes shopping in a while. I ordered some things from Victoria Secret and he also managed to pick some tops and sweaters up for me from Forever21. Clothing prices in the States compared to Oslo is so big. Hope i can save up enough to fly to the US and do a mad shopping spree!

So when I ordered from Vick’s I ordered only one top in size L and the other 6 tops in M because I knew that it would push me to work hard at gym. Wow, you can imagine my hapiness when I tried on all the clothes and they fit perfectly. The other tops and sweaters from Forever21 were size M, my fiance refuses to buy me anything L anymore. My tummy doesn’t look bloated in the tops, which is great. But, also want to work my hardest in trying to get a more toned look for my party.

I can really see a difference in my body. I know I haven’t been eating exceptionally well when i wasnt blogging. But, I wasn’t eating a whole bunch. So in a way , it kind of does prove that portion control is vital. I am back at the gym. Did 2 spin classes. Yes, I know I am mad.

But, my birthday is coming up in a month and a couple of days. People are showing up to my birthday that I never thought would come. They are flying in from Sweden for my party so I want to look my hottest that I can look. So, when I am spinning i often think about the party and how great i will look in my dress. It sounds so vain doesn’t it ? But, for once i just want to be the princess of the party.

Tonight i have a spin class, might end up doing two cos i have so much of energy. I am eating small portions and drinking ALLOT of water. The dryness in the air is starting to affect the moisture of my skin. Autumn is so beautiful, love the change of colour in the trees. So romantic and just lovely.
Have an awesome day! xoxo

I just have to share this with somebody so i thought i would share it with you guys Since my fiance is away on a work conference in Vegas.

Yesterday, I was cleaning up the closet and changing out the summer clothes with winter clothes because it is starting to get pretty cold here. Anyway, last year my fiance and i went on a shopping trip to Milan, Geneve, Annece(not sure of spelling) and I ended buying clothes that were too small for because i refused to buy big clothes. I bought a Madonna collection black pencil skirt, a brown skirt and some pants. Now, the black skirt was a US size 10 - and six months ago i tried it and it could NOT go up my thighs! So you can imagine me screaming to myself alone in our apartment with utter joy! It felt super amazing. Then I noticed that not only did the skirt fit but it felt loose! Could not believe it! So i checked the brown skirt and it was a size 8, so i was a little weary. But, to my shock it fit and was also a little loose. So i am guessing that i could actually end up sqeezing into a 6! Madness. I LOVE THIS FEELING!

Now, i tried on the pants which were a grey suit pants type thing. It is very smart and it is a size 8. So it was harder cos my thighs are so damn huge. So in the pants, i could wear a 10. Anyway, i just couldnt believe it that i managed to get my bum into clothes like that!

To my shock i also found older clothes from 3 years ago. I bought a skirt which is so pretty. It is like a pleated skirt and it is light pink with a ribbon at the top. This was too loose. So i did something crazy and i pulled the skirt up all the way up to my chest and would you believe it, i just need to alter the top in and wear a belt at the waist and I have a new dress! It looks so sweet and i think i might actually wear it to my birthday party. I love it!

So HUGELY excited! My fiance gets back tomorrow afternoon. I have missed him so much. While he was in Vegas he bought me a whole lots of things from Sephora (which we dont have here in Oslo, nearest one i think is in France) and i also ordered things online from ebay and a whole bunch of other stores. So i feel like a little kid the night before christmas! Cannot wait!

I haven’t been blogging in a very long time. I guess that I got lost somewhere because I got so consumed with the little weight that I lost that I started to take things very easy. I ate what i wanted i.e started eating margarine, butter, sugars everything. And i totally forgot about portions.

So. My birthday party on the 2 November is still going to happen. And to my surprise people are going to showing up, who i didn’t think were going to. So I guess you could say that the pressure is on. But, I am not going to go and do a Beyonce Lemon Maple diet. Rather, I am going to stick to my guns and re read my last posts on what I did and more importantly ate when i lost weight. From what I read, I ate very small portions with little or not fat and sugars and exercised. The simplest logic known to mankind.

So anyways, I have become a youtube addict. There is girl on there called faintstarlite who i stumbled across. And, her weightloss journey is truly inspiring to me. I dont know how to describe it but everything she said struck something inside of me. When I listened to her journey of which she lost a whole lot of weight, it reminded of how I used to sound when I lost 30 kg about 2 years ago. When people asked me, how did you do it ? I answered with the truth. Calories in v Calories out and portions etc. I think people probably got annoyed with me but it is only annoying because it is the hardest thing to hear that you have to have so much of determination to accomplish weight loss.

So she is my motivation to get me through the next month a couple days. I will look great on my birthday. I will not meet my goal of 60 kg. I weight around 78 (havent weighed since last time i blogged, i think i am scared). What i have decided is that I am going to push really hard to get out of the 70’s. I can do this. I must do this. It is my own personal goal and the only person to blame here is me. And, I will not be responsible for being fat for the rest of my life.

Will keep you guys posted!
xoxo

I am back!

My backpain was terrible. Couldn’t walk, sit or sleep properly for almost a week but I started feeling normal again yesterday and today I feel allot better. I did not eat properly and did not get any exercise. So I am not proud of that. However, today I spoke to a friend of mine who is coming to visit me on Monday in the city for the day. She told me that she weighed herself at the gym and didn’t like what she saw on the scale. So she did this online survey thing and it told her her age according to her stats is 33. She is 25. Now, she has a normal body i.e no tummy flab, short-shorts thighs and no flabby arms. So she kind of annoyed me a little when she told me that she was going to lose weight. Mostly because I know she will. What is even more crazy is that she got her boyfriend to take snap shots of her body and then in 2 months she will take pictures again for a before and after synopsis. Well, my goal weight is 2 months. I am competitive. And for some strange reason especially with her. I mean yes, I did need a kick up my ass to get me back on track. But, I don’t want to do this only because she is.  I mean i am not in high school, i should be over this phase.

Somehow she gets to me. But at the same time I like being her friend. It is weird I dont know how to describe it. Reason why she gets to me is because I was friends with her when I lost my first 30 kg. She was always the thin one. And then, suddenly we could share clothes and I got all the attention. But, she is the tight jeans, booby tops and practically scanty clothes. I didn’t dare look at those clothes because I knew I would look silly. Then things happened and I gained weight again, not all of it - thank goodness! Now, I have almost half of the weight to lose. She doesn’t know anything about my blog or my goals. I haven’t told anyone except my fiance and another friend. But that is it. I just do not want to lose to her. It is NOT an option. Ok, obviously I have issues to go through here but I know tackling my weight is a huge one for me.

I haven’t been training in a week. But, since I am meeting the friend on Monday and also going to the gym with her - I am going to use these next 3 days to get fit. Even if it does mean that I have to get up at 6am to do a spin class!