I am having trouble. AGAIN! This is frustrating. I get to 71kg and so close to being under 70 that i am finding EVERY possible way i can to not make it happen. Yes, i know the whole story with self-destruction. The fact is that I dont think i am worth it.

Hate feeling low. I ate allot of candy this weekend, and i am not happy about it. I have an aweful day and then a good one and back and forth. WHY??? Why am i chosing failure ? I know i said i wanted to be 60kg. Yes, that is ideal but right now i just want to get to 65kg and maintain. I need to stop doing the following :

- over thinking food.

- eating more than 1 portion.

- going above the calorie limit.

My fiance is starting to eat healthy cos he realized that he put on some weight. Why is it so easy for men ? Ok, well at least it is easy for him. He just eats small amounts at breakfast and dinner and a small piece of choc for desert. I need to get back on track. Because even when i do lose those 5kg, i still have to maintain. And that is going to be hard. But, i need to learn to just love myself and know that i am worth it.

Note to self : I love me and I can do this.