Running the pounds away!

It’s called the food poisoning diet. Lose 3 pounds a day!

(symptoms may include: body aches, fever, sweats, vomiting, frequent diarrhea, malaise, and not being able to get out of bed to save your life)

Yes. That was my world the past 2 days. I cheated a skosh Monday and ate a bunch of my boyfriend’s mom beef stroganoff (the thought now makes me want to toss my cookies.) On Tuesday I ate a yogurt for breakfast, and some SF pudding (weird hip pain lately, thinking it’s the lack of calcium in my life.) I felt very full, stuffed even. I thought that was odd, because I really didn’t eat much. I went upstairs to lay down and proceed to get a stomach ache. It kept getting worse. And worse. And worse. Within 2 or 3 hours I felt like death. I was all pale and super super weak, I had cold sweats and could barely move. I ended up eating buttered toast (when I’m sick, whatever I can keep down is GUILT FREE lol) and a banana. I fell asleep, and woke up the next day thinking it had passed.

Wrong.

That’s when the throwing up, diarrhea, everything else started. Ugh. I ate 2 bananas and a bowl of rice all day long. Luckily I was able to keep down water with small, frequent sips so I was very hydrated luckily.

Today I feel better. No throwing up, although still tired though I can actually walk around and sit up, and my appetite is back somewhat. For funsies I stepped on the scale this morning and saw 184. WOW!

My scale weighs light, so it’s more like 186. But DAMN! I feel very emaciated.  I can tell, I look 6 pounds smaller. My clothes are really big on me and my cheeks are all sunken in. I actually look unhealthy lmao. Hopefully I don’t gain all that weight back, I’d like to keep off a pound or two But I will admit, it feels damn nice for stuff that was TIGHT at my former smallest (last summer) to be LOOSE now.

Exercising was a crapshoot for this week. Sigh. I hate being sick.

My 10K race is soon… I may not be able to run it if I don’t get well soon.

Well, I’m going to lay down and watch The Office. Take care, interwebs.

Filed under: Uncategorized on June 24th, 2010 | No Comments »

For the first time in maybe… 7 years? Sad, since I turned 20 on Saturday, but true.

I’m actually ridiculously cheap, so I went to Ross. I found a Speedo brand one for 6 dollars on clearance that I liked. It’s a chocolate brown 1 piece (ha, I won’t subject the world to my spare tire :P) with a sweetheart neckline. It had regular straps, but I cut them off the back and turned it into a halter. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on it! And, I wear it without shorts. I’m so proud of myself. I’ve come to terms with the fact that no, I’m not rail thin, but I’m also not as huge as I think I am. I have minimal cellulite on my legs, and they aren’t that chunky except for at the very tops. Plus I desperately need a tan. So, my legs are exposed. (I will add that I’m slightly self conscious of my stomach, but whatever. It’s there, I can’t hide it, and I’m doing my best to get rid of it.)

So, in other news, I found a running buddy. A friend of my boyfriend and I is a pretty avid runner, and I’ve asked if he wanted to run together before but never pursued it. I ran into him and a few other friends at Target the other day, and when I mentioned I’ve been running, he perked up and said we should run together. He’s an assistant coach for the track team of my boyfriend’s siblings, and I guess the head coach is going on vacation for 2 months, so he needs someone to run with. He agreed to do early Friday morning runs with me. I’m doing Hal Higdon’s novice 10k training program, but I switched my long run to Friday.
To be honest, I was less than enthused on Friday to be running 4 miles. I was nervous, I was sleepy, and I didn’t want to go. It was my first time running that far, and I was scared of failing (even though EVERY time I’ve set a goal for myself, I’ve achieved it. What the hell brain?) He picked me up and we drove a mile or so to the loop around the high school I’ve found mapped out on multiple sites. We set out running, and surprisingly, it was GREAT. It was amazing having someone to talk to about running. I didn’t realized how nice it is to have someone in real life to talk to about running (although I have to thank all the ladies on 3FC, I’ve learned a lot from them). He even knew what I was talking about when I used running terms. We talked the whole time, and he just ran at my pace. The time flew by. I’m not sure how long it took us, I’m guess around 45-50 minutes? I wasn’t keeping time. But I did it, the whole thing! I did start to get winded because of the gradual, but LONG hills. My legs also got tired which was weird, but I did it! This Friday it’s 4.5 miles, but I’m sure that will be cake.

Let’s see, in recent news, it was my birthday. It started off a tad rocky. On Friday night I went to my mom’s house to see my brother, his wife, and baby (they live with her). A friend of mine was there, and I’m not sure what happened but I guess we are no longer on good terms. To make a long story short, he boyfriend is abusive, and after having a few beers last weekend I made a few comments to him. Her and I were fine last weekend, but from then until Friday, he must have said something to her. She was being very cold to me, dominating conversations to force me out, and made it point to show me that what she was doing was deliberate. It did hurt, considering it was the day before my birthday, but it was mostly sad to see someone that I’ve done so much for treat me that way because of a guy. *shrug* I’ve done what I can for her, and if she chooses that sort of relationship, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Anyway, my birthday was laid back. I played disc golf with my older brother and his wife, and then my boyfriend’s family had a small party for me. The boyfriend made fajitas. They were delicious. And yes, I had my cake and ate it too. And it was so good. I also lost 3.4 pounds that week The boyfriend got me an iPod Touch, which made me feel incredibly guilty because of how much money they cost, but I love it nonetheless!
Lastly, I went camping a few weeks ago. We went to Big Sur, which is an area in central-ish California on the coast. It was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! I loved it. Here are a few pictures from the trip:

This is from the little hiking trip we look. My camera is weird and makes everything all blurry on the right. It was 100X more spectacular in person.

Another. The little brown horizontal line running across the mountain is the hiking trail we were on, just maaany miles down. Apparently it’s a 30 mile hiking trail (10 miles up there were natural hot springs!)

Me on the beach. It was gorgeous, but EXTREMELY windy. When we were leaving, we saw some guys just coming onto the beach. After a huge gust, I heard one of them say “I like the sand on my face. I needed my teeth cleaned.” I laughed so hard lol. (I’m about 196 here)

My boyfriend on the beach. I love this picture.

And lastly, my boyfriends family has 6 cats. This cat is Lucky, and he loves to lay in laundry baskets. He spends up to 8 hours a day laying on clean laundry. We were laying on his bed watching a game show, and he came in and jumped in my BFs empty underwear drawer. My boyfriend grabbed some clean pajama pants and threw them in there. Lucky immediately got comfy, and was there all night.

Well, take care everyone.

PS - Ran 5K this morning, it was easy.

Also, I’ve been getting back into sewing. I’m EXTREMELY rusty, but it’s a good sign. I feel my old self coming back, finally. I made this pouch for my iPod. It looks amateur, but it does the job!. It’s lined with fuzzy fabric to keep my iPod from getting smudge-y.

Toodles!

Filed under: Uncategorized on June 8th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

I’m so glad I wrote that post.

I woke up this morning, and while in that twilighty daze when you’re still trying to sleep but light is in your face, I thought about the dress I bought (that still doesn’t fit, eek!) I thought about my goals, my current self image, and woke up ready to start over. And I did. I had a brief love affair with najifka (polish stuffing), but I didn’t eat much. I’m back, and ready to get going again. I’m so relieved that little “screw it!” phase is over. Ugh.

I think I’m starting to get a little bored with my food though. It’s hard, because I don’t have a lot of money to spend on food. I’m lucky in that my parents still support me while I’m in school, but I don’t like taking their money. So I live with next to no money to my name. Like, I collect cans and recycle them for money lol. I’ve been toying with the idea of planning my food. I’ll admit I have done it, not for long, and it was a long time ago. But I do remember that even if I didn’t eat the planned meal, I picked a healthy alternative. I didn’t eat what was planned because I didn’t feel like eating it at the time. I’m thinking that I can make a huge list of breakfast, lunch, dinners, desserts, and snacks that I can keep adding to to pick meals from. Because my problem is on the spot, I can’t think of anything. I have notoriously horrible on-the-spot memory, so if I have a list to pick from, I’d have diverse meal plans.

The problem is actually taking the time to sit out and do it. I haven’t done that for the same reason that I haven’t detailed my car in a few months, and the same reason that I’m not organizing my drawers, or reading a textbook lol. I’m just lazy. I think tomorrow I’m going to schedule it. I’m going to work out, and get it done. As I’m getting closer to goal, I NEED more focus. I am in uncharted territory for me. It’s a little scary! But I’m doing it, I’m ready.

I’ve been missing exercise. I miss running :(. Tomorrow is a run day, and I am SO excited to get back.  My little 2 week break was fun, but it’s over now. It’s back to business.

Now, I’m not proud of this little break I took (let’s call it a period of maintained lol), but I will admit that I think my body is going to go back to accelerated weight loss for a short while, given I stick to plan. That should be fun to see on the scale!!

Anyway, that’s an update. I’m off to see my boyfriend’s siblings in a band concert. Cool!

Bye

Filed under: Uncategorized on May 26th, 2010 | No Comments »

Motivation, where art thou?

I don’t know what’s happened to me. I’m going to come clean here, I haven’t really been on plan… at all.. in a week. Not even slightly. In fact, the way I’ve been eating is how I gained weight. NO, I haven’t gained any (THANK GOD!!!!), and I think that’s because I’m still exercising a moderate amount of self control.

Last week I don’t think I worked out at all, except the activity I did while camping. I did go on a massive ass-kicking hike up this gigantic mountain that I almost died on, but other than that, zilch.

While camping, I ate so much. I drank only moderately… a few beers, a little vodka/lemonade, but I was proud of myself because that’s where cals add up for me. I got back yesterday, and haven’t gotten back on plan like I planned to. Today and tomorrow I’m babysitting my little cousins while their mom is in Vegas (she keeps sending me pictures of her in sequined dresses holding 500 dollars at a craps tables and shit, it’s getting annoying LOL.) I’ve exercised zero self control. I don’t want to work out. I don’t want to eat right. I don’t know what’s going on.

195 is the lowest weight I’ve been since I was 13.. maybe. I’m happy about where I am, and yet I’m not happy about where I look. Before, when I was losing weight, each new low I was THRILLED. I never expected it, or really thought I’d get to goal or even to that weight. I kind of just did what I was told (eat less, move more) and was shocked as the pounds fell off. I guess part of me felt like “well I’ve never been this small before.. I might as well be happy with it.”

Now… I’m not satisfied with size 14 jeans, even if they DO fit well, even big sometimes. Even if I CAN shop at any store now (almost, at least). I want to be thin for once! I still see myself in pictures, and while I do think I look better, I’m still not pleased.

I’m thinking about a one day fast to get myself started, but I’m on the fence. If it goes as planned, I think it would bring back the self control that I once so effortlessly had. On the other hand, I’m scared once it’s over I’ll eat everything but the kitchen sink.

I don’t realy know what to do. Plan my meals? I feel so out of control and it’s scaring me. I don’t want to gain the weight back. I’m so close! Help?

Filed under: Uncategorized on May 24th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

I ran another 5K Saturday. It was pretty good. Not mega easy, but I sped my pace up a bit, so that was to be expected. I got some free goodies afterward, so that was nice.

I’ve actually been eating WAY too much the past 4 days or so, and it needs to stop. I don’t know what in the hell has gotten over me. Maybe it’s the obscene amount of exercise I’ve been getting, but I dunno. It’s scaring me a little, I’m afraid I’m derailing. In reality I’m not. I think the increase in activity is increasing my appetite. I suddenly feel like all that food is “ok.” Now that I’m writing about this, the problem will probably reverse itself. It usually does. This blog helps a lot

I found a new running program today. It’s in preparation for a 10K. I found a  10K race that sounds cool, in the appropriate amount of time, so I’m looking forward to having another structured program to work with. This one has different work outs on different days, so it’s not going to be all running! YAY! I’m realllly excited. After this, I might start looking into a half marathon…. The thought is really exhilarating actually. ME, doing a half marathon. I know I can do it too, that’s the crazy thing.

So on the topic of running, I found another race I want to do after the 10K. It sound AWESOME. It’s a trail race, with 2 courses, a long one and a short one. It involves, from what I see, a lot of running up and down hills, across creeks, etc etc. At one point the elevation changes like 400-500 feet in only a mile or so. Which, running uphill will suck, but it will also be so challenging and fun. I can’t wait!

Also, OT: my cousin has the PRETTIEST DRESS that she wore to a wedding. I swore it was an XL, and saw it at Kohls and tried it on (didn’t quite fit yet) but since I knew she had it, I didn’t get it. Well, it turns out hers is a large. I tried it on, and was pleased to find it fit the way the XL fit then, but it wasn’t even close to fitting in time for the wedding I’m going to next month. I was SO sad, it looked great on me. So I went on ebay, in search of something similar. Wouldn’t you know, I found the EXACT DRESS! And my mom bought it for me, because she coddles me since I’m losing weight. I swear the woman lives vicariously through me. Well, here it is. I love it. I can’t wait till it gets here. This will be the first time in my life that I’ll be really dressing up, like a girl lol. I’m excited I’m currently looking for a black satin clutch that isn’t hideous. I’ve been to a few stores so far, and haven’t had any luck. I blame the fact that every school on earth is having their senior ball around this time! Blast! I will find my clutch though.

My first test of the week is tomorrow. It’s gonna be pie. We have a comprehensive final on Thurs, but since she drops the lowest test score, and I’m sitting at a high A as it is, I don’t have to do it. Wee!

Anyway, I have to get my beauty sleep so I’m good for the test. Adios!

Filed under: Uncategorized on May 10th, 2010 | 1 Comment »

Man, I’ve been adding another .43 mile lap every week to my run, so this week up running about a 5K every session. I got up this morning to run, excited because the Mr. Pickles shirt I decided to wear is starting to hang off me, got outside, and the SECOND I stepped outside of the gate, I feel a damn raindrop hit my arm. I keep walking, saying aloud “STOP RAINING! SERIOUSLY, STOP IT!” thinking maybe the weather might pity me, but oh nay nay. It started pouring before I got halfway down the street. Annoyed, I turned around and sprinted home. I’ll admit though, it felt NICE to run fast. I’m getting sick of the granny pace that I run at lol.

On another note, I feel like I need to revamp my habits, again. I weighed in on Sunday, and I thought because I’d run a total of like 10 miles that week (if I walked 45 minutes I’d feel accomplished 3 months ago.) But no, I’d only lost .2 of a pound. At the time my bowels weren’t being too jerky, so I know that was all me. I’m starting to get into the mindset that because I exercise a lot, I can compensate by eating more. NO, that’s NOT the case, my mind needs to STOP being a fat kid.

I actually did have a little whoopsy this week, and ate Taco Bell. I found the nutritional info, counted the points, and only ate a light dinner. It still wiped out half of my weekly points allowance. This week I’m finding it quite hard to stay on point. Now that I’m at 199, my daily points is down to 26, a new low for me. I’m finding that especially now, all those littles BLTS (bites,licks, tastes, sips) are adding up. I’m wasting an average of 3 points a day just having a bite of my boyfriends sandwich, or a spoon of white rice. At first, this was acceptable. If a spoon of white rice kept me from eating a bowl, go for it. But at this point, those 3 points could have gone to something else. Maybe my mango that I’ve been dying to eat… or a yummy salad or some chicken. All I know is, that this week is an experimental week. This week is (minus the taco bell) going to be an average week. I get an hour of exercise 3 times a week, I eat all my daily points and as many of my weekly points as I get through, and see how I do at weigh in. This week will show me what I need to change, to speed things up.

Tomorrow is my boyfriend’s mom’s birthday, and we baked her a cake. That was the cake from hell. It was our first time playing with homemade fondant. IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. It didn’t stay the right consistency, nor did it do what we wanted it to. We barely managed to make it… but we did, and it doesn’t look half bad! It looks like a box of Tide, because the woman does way too much laundry. I can’t wait. I love birthdays! And I only plan to have either a TINY piece of cake if I work it in, or a bite or two. I’m not sure which. We’ll see how I’m doing on points once the time comes.

Gotta goooo, shower time.

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 28th, 2010 | No Comments »

So, I did it. I ran a 5K. And I ran the entire thing. I know, I’m a little surprised too.

It was actually a pretty impromptu thing. I ran on thursday and when I got back, my boyfriend’s mom said there was a 5K at the kid’s school, and asked if I was down. I said sure, and that was that. I was pretty nervous actually, and I didn’t really warm up as much as I should have (nobody else was since it wasn’t a serious race, so I looked a little silly hopping around and stretching, but I still did it.) I took a lot of people’s advice and I didn’t get caught up in the moment and run too fast (I passed up a LOT of people at my granny jog pace lol), I breathed in time with my steps, I peed prior to running lol, I enjoyed it, and I sprinted at the end!!! I won’t lie, it was actually pretty hard. Towards the 3rd mile I starting getting fatigued, maybe because of the sun or because it was my second time running in the day. I was dragging a little, but I kept on…trotted up the hills with the reward of being able to not have to work when trotting back down lol, trudged through the grass, and expertly drank water in mid-run without spilling on myself. And I made it into the trash can.

My time ended up being 39:01 and I felt amazing! It was one of the biggest feelings of accomplishment I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve never ever been a runner. I always tried though. I was the fat kid who tried to keep up with the skinny kids in PE, so I always got an A for my effort, but I could never manage more than half a lap. It was insane being at my old middle school, gliding across the campus like it was nothing. The same track I dreaded was like, easy. It was weird… and cool. I’m very pleased with myself, and I see running in a different way now. I’m excited to do it, it’s not a chore. God, I could talk for days, but I won’t.

So, some of my friends decided to organize a “fancy cheese party.” Which is exactly how it sounds. We’re going to dine on fine wines and cheese, and have classy small talk. Formal attire is required. I love my friends.

I went shopping today, looking for a black dress with a black short sleeved cardigan to go with it. I hit up Ross and Marshalls and tried on like 50 different things, and ended up finding a very nice dress with a nice cardigan to go with it! I also picked up a fat sucker inner tank top, which smoothed me out nicely. I think I’ll look OK, although I’m sort of pale and skinny-fat since I’m not strength training. But it’s ok! I still look good, and I’m excited. I have matching wedges and a pearl necklace I plan on wearing. It should be fun. And it was so nice having a shopping trip that didn’t suck. Hooray for milestones!

And lastly, I found another delicious thing to do with food. Today I made ghetto buffalo wings. It’s yummy, but it may not be for everyone. I just fried up some chicken breast tenders in ICBINB spray, spiced them with some salt and pepper and season all, and meanwhile mixed  up a little light sour cream with some frank’s buffalo hot sauce, and when the tenders were done just set them on top, and feasted. It tasted really good! I love some buffalo wings, and my version beats the hell of the Hooters variety (calorie wise.)
Well, it’s time to register for fall classes. Next semester is going to suck. I took it easy this semester on accident, and I feel bad for being home all the time without a job, so next semester I’m making up for what I should have done this time around. I’m aiming for 15-16 units if I can get the classes I want. Cool.

Bye!

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 24th, 2010 | 2 Comments »

I miss my best friend! WAHHH.

On Sunday she left for this program her work puts on where you apply to work in the middle of nowhere for 5 months, hiking into your work spot and living out of a backpack. They build trails and do environmental work. It’s going to be one heck of an experience, very adventurous and peaceful, but also she’s going to come back in tip top physical shape. We’re excited to go shopping together.

But, the downside is there is no communication with the outside world, other than snail mail letters. And I think she’s underestimating how physically tired she’ll be, and busy she’ll be. Because preparing your own meals, cleaning a camp, cleaning your clothes, washing, it’s all much more complicated when you don’t have modern conveniences. So, I dunno. I’m sad, and I don’t know quite what to do with myself. I’m going to send her pictures of my progress (she’s my little cheerleader) and write her a lot I guess. I cried a little after me and her dad dropped her off at the meet up point. I hate growing up sometimes!

Before leaving though, she had a going away party, which involved a little drinking and just hanging out. I ate clean all week and chose not to monitor what I was drinking that night. It was also a friend’s 21st birthday, so I wanted it to be a special, relaxed night, where I wasn’t constantly feeling guilty. Before that, however, I decided to weigh in AT WEIGHT WATCHERS (I learned my lesson from my lying scale!)

I stepped on, and guess what it was. Drum roll please.

200.2!! YEAH!

I kept saying “NO! Oh my gooooooodness!” and squealing hahaha. I couldn’t believe it. I have my weight on 3FC as 198.8, though, because I hadn’t um, gone potty in a while. 1 & 2. So I figured combined, those weighed at least a few ounces, especially cos it was later in the day. So I took off a few ounces. I feel like I’m in onderland, so I feel like stating it is time! Yay!

I may have gained just a tad from that friday night, but any I may have gained is off. I can feel it. I’ve been doing great this week, and I feel like I’ve lost most. My clothes are fitting almost better than they ever have before! I decided that once I get to 190 or so, maybe a LITTLE less (185 perhaps), I’m going to start adding a regular strength routine. I’ve found that forcing myself to do something that is “right” before I’m ready is the wroooong approach. I have to want to do it, and be willing to commit. i will then, not now. I’m still building up those good habits now!

And lastly, I found the most DELICIOUS THING EVER IN THE WOLRD! SRS.

I took two low fat eggo whole wheat waffles, toasted em in the toaster oven. Then I took a tablespoon of peanut butter, spread it on one and put the other eggo on top to make it a sandwich of sorts. I sprinkled just a skosh of powdered sugar on top, and a little SF mrs. butterworth syrup, and dug in. And it was AMAZING! coupled with a nice cold Fuji apple, I was in ecstasy. Best (2nd) breakfast evaaar, hands down, and only 6 points for a ton of food that kept me full for ages.
Well, I have class tomorrow and a run tomorrow. I’m pretty wiped from the day. Found a quarry today with loads of awesome hiking trails. Hiked to the top of the hill and could see the whole valley around here. Twas beautiful. Anyway, I need some shut eye. Night interwebs.

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 20th, 2010 | 2 Comments »

It saddens me to say this (I guess makes me happy in a way, too) but this is the longest I’ve ever stuck to any program I’ve come up with. Period, end of story.

I’m over the fact that if I’d kept with Weight Watchers when I was still 17, I probably would have reached my goal weight at or around the time of my 18th birthday. That’s ok. I managed to not only not gain from March 08 - Summer 09, but I continued to lose. Slowly, albeit, but there was a loss over time.

I think the sudden gain I experienced was a shock to me. I don’t know if I’ve ever gained weight quite so quickly. I’ve identified it as stemming from quitting smoking (rather quitting, smoking in secret to hide it from my boyfriend, quitting, etc etc), birth control, dating my boyfriend (the notorious “boyfriend layer”), starting college, and being at a house filled to the brim with junk food.

Bad circumstances I guess, but I’m over it. The gain happened, and as of Sunday, I’m officially back to where I was on July 3rd 2009 when I started Weight Watchers with my cousin. Their scales put me at 204.0 pounds. Hoorah.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my scale is a dirty liar. It actually makes me quite sad… it’s a pretty glass scale with big digital numbers. And as much as I like seeing a smaller number, all that does is make me think I weigh less than I do, and break my heart on Sundays when I weigh in and think I gained 2 pounds. I’m actually not sure what to do with my scale. I suppose one of these days I’m going to cart it in with me to my meeting (I’m sure everyone will love that) and weigh myself on that, and then their scale in the exact same conditions to see how much of a difference there is.

So that’s that, no more trusting my what my scale says. I think it will be fine for maintenance, especially if I can write down the exact difference and then maybe tape an index card to it so I don’t forget.

And as of late, I don’t know where my motivation has gone. I graduated from the couch to 5k, and for once I feel like I can’t do this. The thought of increasing my run time by even a minute or two seems impossible while I’m running. The runs just aren’t getting easier. It’s not getting harder, but not easier.  I can’t stick with a strength training routine. Part of me wants to say screw it, and start that up later. But at the same time, I KNOW how much better I look when I do. I’m not sure which. Also, I feel like I should be getting more exercise. But there’s no where to ride my bike here at my boyfriends house because the roads are all narrow country roads where everyone drives fast. I like walking but I guess I’ve gotten bored of it since I can run now. And I canceled my gym membership because it’s too expensive and too far away. On top of everything else, doing work out videos indoors at my boyfriends house causes my eczema to explode because I’m allergic to dogs, and getting on the floor puts my hot open pores right up in the dander. It sucks.

I guess I’m whining hardcore. I just wish this process would go more smoothly, instead of constantly encountering problems. I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that holiday’s/birthdays/parties are NEVER GOING TO GO AWAY. In fact, maybe it’s just me, but they pop up at the most inconvenient times.

So anyway, lack of motivation. I ended up eating way too much yesterday. It wasn’t even that bad I guess, but I ate a bunch of Fiber One cookies I made. A step up from a half gallon of Dreyers I guess, but it still made me feel really guilty. I’ve been doing fine today, but I don’t know what has gotten into me. I’m losing sight of my goals all of a sudden, and I don’t know why.

I was reading one girls blog here on 3FC and she said she would have a mini-meltdown every time she’d achieve something big, like onderland or out of the obese BMI or something. I’m wondering if that’s what my problem is, because now that I look back, I sabotaged myself every time I reached a milestone. I just haven’t done it yet on this journey because I was trying to lose the excess that I’d gained. So basically, I was trying to get out of weightland “debt” lol.

Hmm. Food for thought if you will. I think I may have stumbled upon my own problem.

I just realized, though, that from here on out, it’s almost uncharted territory. Every week, even if I lose only a few ounces, I’ll be where I’ve never been before (I did get to 199 last summer, but I was constantly drinking and never eating on plan, I only managed to lose because I was doing P90X like a fiend.)

I feel better. I think I’m going to watch an episode of Breaking Bad with my boyfriend before he goes to work. If you haven’t seen it, watch it! It’s really awesome!

Bye

PS - the weather here in Northern Cali has been TERRIBLE. We can’t seem to get more than 3 days of sun without a massive storm blowing in. Rain in april makes natalie a sad girl.

Filed under: Uncategorized on April 13th, 2010 | 2 Comments »

I completed W6D1 of the couch 2 5k today. It’s actually not getting any easier. It’s manageable, but not fun like I expected it to be. As long as I can complete the runs, I’m ok, I’ll work on fun later. But that’s just something I noted.

So today has been a good day. One of those standard good days. My (pretty small) 15’s were falling off my butt at school, partly because I’d worn them and they were a bit stretched out, and partly because I’M LOSING WEIGHT! YEAH!

I’ve also decided to start weighing myself daily to keep myself accountable. Before it would just make me depressed. I’d see a number and be like “WAHHHH WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?!”

Now, I’m like “Was that extra food REALLY worth it?”

It’s keeping my toes in line. And good news! I saw 206.8 today! Yes!

This means:

A) I’m 1 pound away from my 10%! I’m thinking this Sunday, I may get my keychain!

B) I GET TO WAX MY EYEBROWS! I will post before afters, and you will (probably) throw up. I look like Jospeh Stalin.

C) I’m 7 pounds from onederland, which I have only seen once in my entire weight loss journey! And at that time, I was drinking and eating whatever, not really focused at all, just working out a TON. It’s a shocker I lost weight at all last summer…

So, I’m excited nonetheless. YAY!

Also, my boyfriend’s mom is making her delicious pot roast. It’s high cal, but I’m going to weigh it out and all that so I know exactly how many calories it is. I have 14 points on reserve for tonight, and flex points, and I might walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes after dinner too, just for good measure.

I can’t wait for summer. I can’t wait for spring. I can’t wait for 3 days in a row of SUNSHINE!

Well, I’m out. Just wanted to share my newest accomplishments. Toodles!

Filed under: Uncategorized on March 9th, 2010 | No Comments »