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Breakdown

Posted onyyx on March 27th, 2010 | Filed under Uncategorized | Comment now »

I am absolutely devistated.  I just found out that I’ve been using the body fat calculator for men, not women.  This means that my actual body fat percentage is 51.1%!!!  I’m half fat.  Literally.  On top of worrying about possibly being pregnant, telling myself that I’m too fat to have a baby, listening to my coworkers talk about me being too fat to have a baby, now I know that my body is half fat.  To even get into the normal range I half to lose 20%…and that’s to be at the high range of normal!! I’m so overly emotional right now its crazy.  I’m at the point of wanting to give up and just call it a day.  All I want to do is cry and wonder how I became this lipid layered imposter that took over my life.  I can’t feel like ’anything I do is better than nothing’ any more.  I’m eating myself into a grave.  How did I become so addicted to eating that I’ve doubled myself with the leftover calories??  Now I’m sitting at work, crying, half hoping I’m pregnant so then I have an excuse to be fat, and really hoping that the guys don’t come up on the radio so they won’t know that I’m crying.  Great.  Now I’m fat and pathetic.

I just wish that I could be happy.  Happy and excited about maybe starting a family with my boyfriend, about maybe being a mom.  but no, I have to worry about being to fat to have the baby, I have to consider abortion because I’m not healthy enough to be pregnant.  How fucked up is that?   


Day 6 3-19-2010

Posted onyyx on March 19th, 2010 | Filed under Second Round | Comment now »

Today I was still feeling really crappy when I woke up.  I went to bed dizzy and nauseous and woke up the same way.  I almost didn’t do anything today, but I did.  I got up and did the power 90 workout DVD again.  I had wanted to go to the gym, but I stayed in bed too long debating and didn’t have time.  I drank my shake and brought a salad for lunch and am already almost done with all the water I need to drink, so doing good.

I’m fairly concerned that I’m still feeling so weird.  I’m really wondering if I’m pregnant.  Athought I can’t see how I could be unless I ovulated really close to my period.  Buth things are definately weird, and I can’t take a test until next week, otherwise it would be too early to tell.  Dunno.  I really want a baby, but don’t really want to be pregnant right now, I would rather be married first and all that.  I’m probably worrying over nothing.  I bet I have the flu, or am reacting to my changed diet, or something.  meh.


Day 5 03-18-2010

Posted onyyx on March 19th, 2010 | Filed under Second Round | Comment now »

Today was all about sexercise :-D  And it was Awesome!  I’m still all nauseous and dizzy, but better than yesterday because I’ve had some sleep.  Not sure what the hell though.  Managed to drink all the water I needed to and eat my salad and avoid all the bad stuff, so so far so good!


Day 4 03-17-2010

Posted onyyx on March 18th, 2010 | Filed under Second Round | Comment now »

Today I did the workout video Fat burner Power 90.  This is a 40 min video, and I liked it much better than the 10min ones.  Less intense but it still really worked all of my muscles.  Definately need to start interspersing this one in more along with going to the gym.  Should help a lot with muscle tone and losing inches.  Now if I could just do something about losing weight… eh.  Don’t know why I’m in such a downer mood right now.  Don’t mind me, I’ll be better tomorrow.  I’m crazy tired right now because I woke up at 0900hrs for some reason.  couldn’t sleep for the rest of the day.  Ah well, only 4 more hours to go and I’m off work.


Day 3, 03-16-2010

Posted onyyx on March 18th, 2010 | Filed under Second Round | Comment now »

Today I tried out the 10min trainer videos with Tony Horton.  I did the 10min total body and the 10min lower body workouts.  OMG!  I thought having been going to the gym for awhile got me into at least a little shape…  the 20min videos took me about 35min to complete because I had to keep pausing them cause I thought I was going to pass out.  Seriously.  It was rather depressing actually.  I walked around for 10 min afterward, so I did get in my full 30min, but still… *sigh*


Day 2 3-15-2010

Posted onyyx on March 15th, 2010 | Filed under Second Round | 1 Comment »

Today I made it to the gym!!  Finally!  Feels like it has been a long time since I have gone!  I just drank my shake for breakfast, and I’ve already had my 2 litres of water for the day, so now all I have to do is eat a salad and I’m golden! 

Cardio:

Stair-stepper Elliptical:  30min, interval resistance:  1-8,  calories burned:  410

Treadmill:  11min, speed: 3, incline 6.5%, calories burned: 60

No weight training today, just wanted to get cardio in.

Well, off to clean the house!


Day 1 3-14-2010

Posted onyyx on March 15th, 2010 | Filed under Second Round | Comment now »

Today I slept almost all day, so I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to do all of my challenges.  I ate a salad for breakfast/lunch, and had my shake for dinner, so the food stuff was all taken care of.  My BF and I went out for a walk around the neighborhood for 30min, so I got my exercise in too.  Woot!!  So glad I made it through day 1!!


Day 21 3-13-2010

Posted onyyx on March 15th, 2010 | Filed under 21 Day Challenge | Comment now »

Today I walked for 15 min and did 30 squats.  Not very good for the last day of my challenge, but at least I made it!!!  Woot!


Day 20 3-12-2010

Posted onyyx on March 14th, 2010 | Filed under 21 Day Challenge | Comment now »

In terms of exercise, today was kind of a bust.  I did walk around San Francisco at a fairly slow pace for about 45 min though, so at least I got my 15 min of movement in :-D


Day 19 3-11-2010

Posted onyyx on March 12th, 2010 | Filed under 21 Day Challenge | Comment now »

Cardio:

20min walking

2min jumping jacks

Squating punches:  weight: 5lbs, time: 40seconds, sets: 2

Weights:

seated Lat rows:  Weight: 5lbs, reps: 12  sets: 3

scarecrows: weight: 5lbs, reps: 10 sets: 2

triceps: weight: 5lbs, reps: 12, sets: 3

shoulder press: weight: 5lbs, reps: 12 sets: 2

Squats: 20

pushups: 40

crunches: 40

In and outs: 20