So Pepsi and I go way back. It’s always been an achilles heel for me. It’s my coffee and alcohol. I get stressed out, I drink pepsi. I want to stay away, I drink pepsi. The other day I had a pepsi, the new one with real sugar and it was very sweet. So sweet that I couldn’t drink of all it. In fact, as we speak it’s still in my frig.
So today I had a regular pepsi and immediately tasted the difference and realize that as good as the pepsi was, it’s an addiction that cannot continue to take over my body nor my life.
I’ve mainly been drinking water lately with skinnygal water enhancer. Sometimes, a cup of coffee or tea. Mainly, water. I realize that if I was going to get this weight off and get to a comfortable amount gone, then I probably should keep drinking a lot of water. Water is a natural detox and it’s doing it’s job, because I am regular. I still need a lot of work and prayer to get me futher into the right direction.
So, I have one more day of physical therapy (occupational therapy ending yesterday) and I’m done. Still have some dizziness and off balance, but not as bad as before. I’m just hoping that everything is good with my FMLA and STD (short term disablility) and my primary care doc fills out the info, so I can a) not lost my job and b) get paid for this week and next week. I’m actually looking forward to going back to work on April 27. I miss everyone and the act of doing something everyday. Plus, this experience has caused me to really evaluate my life overall and I realized that I have an itch to travel. I don’t know why, but I do. So, I have to work a lot of OT to do that, as well as pay the bills and my student loans payments start next month.
I did about 17 mins of T-25 Cardio Alpha today. I noticed that I had some trouble remembering the moves, but it worked itself out.
Even though it was just a TIA I had, it still caused some damage that I’ll probably forever recover from. Well, forever is such a strong word. I need to kick serious butt to not only prevent another stroke, but to recovery from the mini one, as well.
It’ll work out, God is in control, always and forever.
So, I’m probably like an idiot, counting down 90 days from when I had the TIA aka mini-stroke. In doing research, I learned that a TIA corrects itself on it’s own. Since they gave me the TPA treatment, I’m certain by the grace of God that it bursted out any of the clots that I had. I had chest pains, so I’m guessing that it was one in my heart, my head, and probably in my legs.
I went to Vegas the first week of March to celebrate my sister’s 30th birthday (my treat to her) and on the plane ride back to the East Coast, my legs kept cramping up. I didn’t really pay it any mind and just trumped it up to us walking so fast on our last day that my legs were just tired. Now, also that same day, I fell backwards out of this backless seat at the CSI Experience at the MGM (fun spot, check it out) I hit my head, but also afterwards my coordination was completely off, I was dropping things, and I had the worse headache (well it wasn’t the worse, but you get it) So, when you’ve just learned that you’ve had a mini-stroke, you can’t help but wonder what could have caused it or sparked it off. Nevermind the fact that I have the metabolic syndrome combo of high blood pressure/chloesteral (sp? I totally missed spelled that but I’m not in the mood to google the correct spelling, come apple create an autocorrect or someone show me how to do it) I’m morbidly obese (I don’t feel morbidly obese), and of course, I’m diabetic - ok basically my body was probably designed to probably stroke out one day or have heart problems (stupid family genetics - both sides people).
Before Vegas, I was working out lie crazy. T25 was awesome and I looked forward to doing it after work. It was my release. Along with that, I actually made an effort (not a strong one, but still an effort) to watch my diet. I ate (ok bringe) junk mostly during the last week of my PMS. I won’t apologize about that, because my entire family is about that life. We all have sugar additions up to wazoo, so not making an excuse, but I’m owning it with the fiber of my very existance.
Anyhoo, I do know that after this, I have approximitely 90 days to get my overall health in order so that a full stroke doesn’t happen. My PCP gave me 6 months to get my weight down to just obese and out of morbid obesity and 8 weeks she wants a full blood panel to see if the meds that the hospital gave me (Aspirn reg 325 mg, and Lipitor) worked. If what the timeframe of a TIA and a major stroke given is true, then I need to seriously fight like you know what.
PS. Does anyone know why my battery on my macbook is draining so fast? Does it have to do with me downloading the 3rd season of Happy Endings? I may have just answered my own question. Nevermind.
Anyhoo, both my physical and occupational therapist agree that my left side of the body is still weak, but improving. I went for a follow up with my Neurologist NP and they said that neurological standpoint, the tests were normal. Which is good, but my insurance disability gave me a month off to recover, so they had to fax my FMLA and other paperwork to my PCP to be completed (she saw me and she’s working with my home care).
I went to see a Diabetes Educator/Dietian to relearn and refresh the basic stuff about being on diabetic type lifestyle change and also learned that a paleo diet is not something that is advised, so I brought the 99 cent app on my phone for nada. It’s all good.
Anyhoo, my battery is seriously going down, so off to the plug and I will see yall next time.
I know it’s been a long while. Something happened that forced my hand in how I view not only losing weight, but my overall life.
Today, I just got out of the hospital after a 4 day stay, 1st night in ICU due to a mini-stroke. I think that it was caught in time. I thought for sure that I was having a heart attack, because of having chest pains. Turns out, when I got to the hospital, I had stroke symptoms, so they went into code S for stroke victim mode and the Neurologist prescribed the TPA. CT scans, MRI, cartoid ultrasound, lots of bloodwork was done to see if any damage. My left side is stil weak, but no major damage.
The bad news is a 90 day period where a full blown stroke can still occur, if I don’t take what happened seriously. It was a combination of having the metabolic syndrome and stress that caused this, in addition to my weight. It’s hard for me to lose weight, because I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), but I need to think about what happened and what can happen each time I want to pospone or give up.
Now, I was successfully losing inches with T25 about 3 weeks ago, and then I stopped due to being fatigue (I have Esptein Barr) and working OT. As my Aunt said, work will be there, but I must put my health first and foremost.
I know one day the Lord will call me home and I look forward to that day. I just want another chance to experience things that I haven’t yet, and continue the will that he has ordained over my life.
So, I’m not sure how the future will be, but I am determined to now get healthy. It’s no longer about just losing weight and having a great body, but it’s about saving my life now.
Introducing Operation No Stroke, No Heart Attack
I hate being sick. Last week, it was migraines and this past week has been a cold/allergy thing. I can breathe better, but I still can’t smell yet. Still have chest and nasal congestion. I’m glad that I haven’t missed work though, except for the migraines.
I haven’t been able to fully workout to the potential that I want to, because of the chest congestion. I have asthma and when I get any kind of congestion, colds, bronchitis, etc…I go into an asthma attack. So, this week was trying not to have an asthma attack and I couldn’t work out. Yesterday, I played 30 mins of Wii, because that’s not high impact exercise. I did 3 games of bowling and I fence and did archery. I need to add more Wii games to my collection.
On top of all this, TOM visited me this month. She’s kicking my butt today, but I’m just breathing through it, because I’ve taken a lot of meds this week to get the symptoms under control. Sad thing is, I passed this cold to my mom (she’s at the doctor now). Every since I got Mono in 1999, I’ve always felt guilt each time someone got sick because of me. Trip thing is, I caught it from someone else first. My immune system is very sensitive because a) I have diabetes b) I have epstein barr virus and I’m prone to frequent flare ups and c) I have chronic fatigue syndrome in conjuction with the epstein bar virus. My mom and sister also have chronic fatigue but they have it in conjuction with Fibromyalgia. We still smile in the midst of it all, because God is in control.
My goal was to do the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels to rid myself of the 20 lbs, before my trip at the end of May. Lord willing, I still want to accomplish that, which is hard because of my work schedule and school. Luckily, sometimes, work is slow to the point where I can work on my school work there. I take mad advantage when I run out of work at work. Currently, I’m working on my first paper. Thrusday I’m off, so I’m taking that day to do some extra research and get bloodwork done for my upcoming endocrinology appt on Tuesday.
Anyhoo…I’m going to take this day to still rest from this cold that I’m still fighting and break the fever for good. It’s been in and out and I’m solely going by how I feel, because we’ve lost our thermometer. I’m having mad brain fogs and brain farts, so I’m really struggling mentally now. lol….
I’ve been out of work since Monday, which silent migraines. I’m beginning to think that when I get unexpected time off from work it’s the Lord’s way of bringing me back to reality, so to speak.
Since I want to say around September or October, I’ve been flirting back and forth with my co-worker. He’s cute, but dude was sending some signals that indicated that he was into me. He even asked for my number and asked if I want to hang out. Now, each time I’ve said, ok I have time, when do you want to do something? He plays possum and have amnesia. Well, since I’ve been in school, my focus has been on that, with no real time to care about relationships.
Ok here is the punchline.
I admitted that I liked him. However, in my confinement, I believe the Lord when he planted those red flags in my way to let me know that I was heading down a path that I didn’t want to go again and that dude is not the one.
See, all my life I always felt inferior, like I was a mutant or something, because boys used to avoid me. Despite my mom saying “oh guys be checking you out” For some reason, it was subtle than the normal “Hey gurl, can I get wit choo.” At 31 (I’ll be 32 in a couple of weeks), I’m realizing, I want to meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but we both need to accept each other entirely or it’s never going to work. More importantly, dude has to be a born again Christian. I can’t stress that enough. I’ve witness first hand the unequal yokey relationships out that and it’s just not good.
I’ve been my size for so long that I needed to learn to accept myself first and foremost, which I have to say, worked. My co-worker’s silence proved great rejection and I kinda got that feeling that he wasn’t that into me and it was actually ok. I like him, but I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. I think we have a connection, but it’s friendly and playful. And I’m over it. My guy, the guy that God has ordained from the very beginning is coming and when he comes, there won’t be no games, no time wasted, he will get my geekiness and eccentricness, my love for batman, and my love for Christ. He will accept me for who I am and what I am. I always said that when the guy wants you, they will move heaven and earth to get with you, no matter how busy they are and since we live in a technology world, there is no excuse for being too busy.
So, I thank God very much for letting me go through this. I’m glad I admitted I like the guy, but that’s it. I like the guy, but not in a “I want to spend the rest of my life” kind of way. And I’m cool with that. I faced rejection from a guy once more and I wasn’t crushed or destroyed.
That weight has been lifted and now I’m closer to meeting my true mate.
Ok so today was a somewhat chill day. I did most of my walking in Target and working on sucking in my gut via core exercising. Anyhoo, March was an interesting month, because I learned I can actually make better choices food wise.
I have chronic epstein barr virus or as I like to call it chronic mono, which meant that I also have chronic fatigue syndrome. Sometimes, I have bouts of energy and have to take advantage right then and there. But, this week I’ve had flare ups and when I have those, I just want to sleep. I have to push myself to workout, even if it’s just 3 mins. It’s my lot in life, but I’m learning to rest when needed and push towards the goal.
I flucated in March from 274 to 275, which is good all things considering. However, I’m literally stuck at a little plateau. Also, my back is killing me from the access weight I gained before my journey, so I”m paying for it, but I’m trying to strengthen my core area and work harder to get the weight off.
I’m going to Vegas Memorial Day week, so since there is a lot of walking, I’m trying to physically prepare myself like it’s a marathon or something, not to mention the airplane seats.
Well, I need to sleep.
Tomorrow, I’m working on increasing my water intake. Wish me luck.
God bless and Happy belated Resurrection Day!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so I’ve finally gotten the hang of wearing contacts and my doc switch my brand to accuve moist for astigmatism and I sometimes barely know I have them on. Awesome!!!!!!!! and she also said, my eyes were healthy.
Ok, now as a type 2 diabetic, I rarely come across people in my life that actually understands how hard it is to be a diabetic, but today, my diabetes educator, understood everything from hormone binges to going overboard with the calories. She said I was human and that it’s ok to mess up every now and then, but all in all, I’m on the right track.
The real progress is that my sugars are moving towards a normal range again. I love the new vgo insulin pump. It’s totally awesome and busy friendly. I still needed some help to help regulate my sugars, so she put me on another meds, but it looks like it may be a temp thing. My sugar when I got there (and this is after eating 5 goldfish crackers and a lipton naturals ice tea) was 121, which is great. I still need to watch it, but I know what I have to do.
My mom told me today that I have a little bit more self control, than my dad. May he rest in peace, but my dearly departed papa was very hard-headed when it came to controlling his health. I try to do the opposite and sometimes genes work against me. I don’t believe that diabetes can be reverse, but it can be controllable and living the life of having control over the diabetes could be a testimony to someone else.
I have PCOS and endometriosis really bad. I believe I’ve always had PCOS since I started puberty. I say this because I was a ballet dancer and very active, then when puberty hits, BAM!!!!!!!!!! Weight gain cometh and I was irregular with my periods. Oh did I mention that I started the last day of the fourth grade and the weekend of my girl scouts camping trip in the summer. Yeah, this 10 year old was afraid I would attract some fearful creatures. Still had fun though. Anyhoo, I’m entertaining my lovely crimson friend and it’s just one of those months, when it’s heavy but Praise God, not painful thanks to exercising. Wooo Hoooo!
So, today I went grocery shopping and actually did good. I stuck with the healthy choices and prepared my lunch for tomorrow and decided to bring my own breakfast too. All I need to do is buy skim milk at work.
Lunch for this week will be
-chicken breast on whole wheat wrap
- mix lettuce
- dijon mustard and ketchup
***I didn’t realize that Kroger dijon mustard was awful, so the ketchup is to disguise the taste***
(that’s .99 cents, I’ll never see again. )
Anyhoo, I’m going to do a quicky push-ups session while watching Fraiser.
Good night peeps!!!!!!!
It is finished! is what Jesus said on the cross, before he gave up the ghost. In 2 weeks, we celebrate his resurrection from the dead, conquering death, hell, and the grave. God is always in control, Amen!
Also, it is finished, is my winter semester and i had double the work, but it was worth it to see that i have 3 more classes left til graduation. Sadly, i won’t be marching to get the degree, but it’s ok. just seeing the finishing line is what matters. It’s been a long journey that started in 1999, after my high school graduation and now, i can say, the race is almost over.
i put my complete faith in Christ my Savior, that i am able to say it is finished, when my weight lost journey is completed. Something this time around lets me know that this battle will be won. I don’t know if it’s because school is ending for me or what, but i actually want to fight the pcos, diabetes, chronic fatigue, epstein barr, metabolic syndrome, and everything else that ails me. I want to fight until i can’t fight no more.
one thing i noticed about today. usually (excuse my grammar, my keys are sticking)..when i study, i’m snacking. This time, i actually stayed under my alloted calorie intake and i didn’t workout today. Tomorrow, i have to really exert some control, because usually when it’s that time of the month, i grab anything chocolate. Tomorrow at work, i’m going to have to think smartly about what i put in my body. Definitely a water and tea day. Since i am going to be late, tomorrow morning i’m looking forward to my work day ice tea.
Well, welcome to my blog. I’m going to try to update much as possible. Every honest answer through this journey, the good, bad, and everything between.
Today was a rough day at work and yes, I went against my willpower and feast on McDonalds for dinner. I did work out, but when I was finished adding that in to my fitness pal page, wow! That’s all I’m going to say.
I know…I need to stop using food as a feel better response. Today was a rough day, but I’ll get over it, because it needed to happen and I needed to learn from it.
Well, this week was a good week because I got super active. Which is a start. Next up cleaning up the food.
Ok I’m done.
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