I hate being sick. Last week, it was migraines and this past week has been a cold/allergy thing. I can breathe better, but I still can’t smell yet. Still have chest and nasal congestion. I’m glad that I haven’t missed work though, except for the migraines.
I haven’t been able to fully workout to the potential that I want to, because of the chest congestion. I have asthma and when I get any kind of congestion, colds, bronchitis, etc…I go into an asthma attack. So, this week was trying not to have an asthma attack and I couldn’t work out. Yesterday, I played 30 mins of Wii, because that’s not high impact exercise. I did 3 games of bowling and I fence and did archery. I need to add more Wii games to my collection.
On top of all this, TOM visited me this month. She’s kicking my butt today, but I’m just breathing through it, because I’ve taken a lot of meds this week to get the symptoms under control. Sad thing is, I passed this cold to my mom (she’s at the doctor now). Every since I got Mono in 1999, I’ve always felt guilt each time someone got sick because of me. Trip thing is, I caught it from someone else first. My immune system is very sensitive because a) I have diabetes b) I have epstein barr virus and I’m prone to frequent flare ups and c) I have chronic fatigue syndrome in conjuction with the epstein bar virus. My mom and sister also have chronic fatigue but they have it in conjuction with Fibromyalgia. We still smile in the midst of it all, because God is in control.
My goal was to do the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels to rid myself of the 20 lbs, before my trip at the end of May. Lord willing, I still want to accomplish that, which is hard because of my work schedule and school. Luckily, sometimes, work is slow to the point where I can work on my school work there. I take mad advantage when I run out of work at work. Currently, I’m working on my first paper. Thrusday I’m off, so I’m taking that day to do some extra research and get bloodwork done for my upcoming endocrinology appt on Tuesday.
Anyhoo…I’m going to take this day to still rest from this cold that I’m still fighting and break the fever for good. It’s been in and out and I’m solely going by how I feel, because we’ve lost our thermometer. I’m having mad brain fogs and brain farts, so I’m really struggling mentally now. lol….
I’ve been out of work since Monday, which silent migraines. I’m beginning to think that when I get unexpected time off from work it’s the Lord’s way of bringing me back to reality, so to speak.
Since I want to say around September or October, I’ve been flirting back and forth with my co-worker. He’s cute, but dude was sending some signals that indicated that he was into me. He even asked for my number and asked if I want to hang out. Now, each time I’ve said, ok I have time, when do you want to do something? He plays possum and have amnesia. Well, since I’ve been in school, my focus has been on that, with no real time to care about relationships.
Ok here is the punchline.
I admitted that I liked him. However, in my confinement, I believe the Lord when he planted those red flags in my way to let me know that I was heading down a path that I didn’t want to go again and that dude is not the one.
See, all my life I always felt inferior, like I was a mutant or something, because boys used to avoid me. Despite my mom saying “oh guys be checking you out” For some reason, it was subtle than the normal “Hey gurl, can I get wit choo.” At 31 (I’ll be 32 in a couple of weeks), I’m realizing, I want to meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but we both need to accept each other entirely or it’s never going to work. More importantly, dude has to be a born again Christian. I can’t stress that enough. I’ve witness first hand the unequal yokey relationships out that and it’s just not good.
I’ve been my size for so long that I needed to learn to accept myself first and foremost, which I have to say, worked. My co-worker’s silence proved great rejection and I kinda got that feeling that he wasn’t that into me and it was actually ok. I like him, but I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. I think we have a connection, but it’s friendly and playful. And I’m over it. My guy, the guy that God has ordained from the very beginning is coming and when he comes, there won’t be no games, no time wasted, he will get my geekiness and eccentricness, my love for batman, and my love for Christ. He will accept me for who I am and what I am. I always said that when the guy wants you, they will move heaven and earth to get with you, no matter how busy they are and since we live in a technology world, there is no excuse for being too busy.
So, I thank God very much for letting me go through this. I’m glad I admitted I like the guy, but that’s it. I like the guy, but not in a “I want to spend the rest of my life” kind of way. And I’m cool with that. I faced rejection from a guy once more and I wasn’t crushed or destroyed.
That weight has been lifted and now I’m closer to meeting my true mate.
Ok so today was a somewhat chill day. I did most of my walking in Target and working on sucking in my gut via core exercising. Anyhoo, March was an interesting month, because I learned I can actually make better choices food wise.
I have chronic epstein barr virus or as I like to call it chronic mono, which meant that I also have chronic fatigue syndrome. Sometimes, I have bouts of energy and have to take advantage right then and there. But, this week I’ve had flare ups and when I have those, I just want to sleep. I have to push myself to workout, even if it’s just 3 mins. It’s my lot in life, but I’m learning to rest when needed and push towards the goal.
I flucated in March from 274 to 275, which is good all things considering. However, I’m literally stuck at a little plateau. Also, my back is killing me from the access weight I gained before my journey, so I”m paying for it, but I’m trying to strengthen my core area and work harder to get the weight off.
I’m going to Vegas Memorial Day week, so since there is a lot of walking, I’m trying to physically prepare myself like it’s a marathon or something, not to mention the airplane seats.
Well, I need to sleep.
Tomorrow, I’m working on increasing my water intake. Wish me luck.
God bless and Happy belated Resurrection Day!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so I’ve finally gotten the hang of wearing contacts and my doc switch my brand to accuve moist for astigmatism and I sometimes barely know I have them on. Awesome!!!!!!!! and she also said, my eyes were healthy.
Ok, now as a type 2 diabetic, I rarely come across people in my life that actually understands how hard it is to be a diabetic, but today, my diabetes educator, understood everything from hormone binges to going overboard with the calories. She said I was human and that it’s ok to mess up every now and then, but all in all, I’m on the right track.
The real progress is that my sugars are moving towards a normal range again. I love the new vgo insulin pump. It’s totally awesome and busy friendly. I still needed some help to help regulate my sugars, so she put me on another meds, but it looks like it may be a temp thing. My sugar when I got there (and this is after eating 5 goldfish crackers and a lipton naturals ice tea) was 121, which is great. I still need to watch it, but I know what I have to do.
My mom told me today that I have a little bit more self control, than my dad. May he rest in peace, but my dearly departed papa was very hard-headed when it came to controlling his health. I try to do the opposite and sometimes genes work against me. I don’t believe that diabetes can be reverse, but it can be controllable and living the life of having control over the diabetes could be a testimony to someone else.
I have PCOS and endometriosis really bad. I believe I’ve always had PCOS since I started puberty. I say this because I was a ballet dancer and very active, then when puberty hits, BAM!!!!!!!!!! Weight gain cometh and I was irregular with my periods. Oh did I mention that I started the last day of the fourth grade and the weekend of my girl scouts camping trip in the summer. Yeah, this 10 year old was afraid I would attract some fearful creatures. Still had fun though. Anyhoo, I’m entertaining my lovely crimson friend and it’s just one of those months, when it’s heavy but Praise God, not painful thanks to exercising. Wooo Hoooo!
So, today I went grocery shopping and actually did good. I stuck with the healthy choices and prepared my lunch for tomorrow and decided to bring my own breakfast too. All I need to do is buy skim milk at work.
Lunch for this week will be
-chicken breast on whole wheat wrap
- mix lettuce
- dijon mustard and ketchup
***I didn’t realize that Kroger dijon mustard was awful, so the ketchup is to disguise the taste***
(that’s .99 cents, I’ll never see again. )
Anyhoo, I’m going to do a quicky push-ups session while watching Fraiser.
Good night peeps!!!!!!!
It is finished! is what Jesus said on the cross, before he gave up the ghost. In 2 weeks, we celebrate his resurrection from the dead, conquering death, hell, and the grave. God is always in control, Amen!
Also, it is finished, is my winter semester and i had double the work, but it was worth it to see that i have 3 more classes left til graduation. Sadly, i won’t be marching to get the degree, but it’s ok. just seeing the finishing line is what matters. It’s been a long journey that started in 1999, after my high school graduation and now, i can say, the race is almost over.
i put my complete faith in Christ my Savior, that i am able to say it is finished, when my weight lost journey is completed. Something this time around lets me know that this battle will be won. I don’t know if it’s because school is ending for me or what, but i actually want to fight the pcos, diabetes, chronic fatigue, epstein barr, metabolic syndrome, and everything else that ails me. I want to fight until i can’t fight no more.
one thing i noticed about today. usually (excuse my grammar, my keys are sticking)..when i study, i’m snacking. This time, i actually stayed under my alloted calorie intake and i didn’t workout today. Tomorrow, i have to really exert some control, because usually when it’s that time of the month, i grab anything chocolate. Tomorrow at work, i’m going to have to think smartly about what i put in my body. Definitely a water and tea day. Since i am going to be late, tomorrow morning i’m looking forward to my work day ice tea.
Well, welcome to my blog. I’m going to try to update much as possible. Every honest answer through this journey, the good, bad, and everything between.
Today was a rough day at work and yes, I went against my willpower and feast on McDonalds for dinner. I did work out, but when I was finished adding that in to my fitness pal page, wow! That’s all I’m going to say.
I know…I need to stop using food as a feel better response. Today was a rough day, but I’ll get over it, because it needed to happen and I needed to learn from it.
Well, this week was a good week because I got super active. Which is a start. Next up cleaning up the food.
Ok I’m done.
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