Moving on Down

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Posted on January 13th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Today’s Exercise

Method: Elliptical
Duration: 20 Minutes
Distance: 3.50 Miles

Wow.  Today was even more difficult than yesterday.  To my credit, I think I actually worked harder at it today than I did yesterday.  I was on track to go further than yesterday (distance wise); however, the harder I worked the harder it was for me to stay on.  And dudes!?!  What is up with my guts?!?  My stomach is aggravating the crap out of me (pun NOT intended…).  And my left knee is hurting pretty badly.  I think it’s two-fold.  It’s still hurting from those 2 days of kneeling on the laundry room floor cleaning up after the sick cat.  And it’s also because I suddenly started exercising again yesterday after a lull.  So whatever.  It will get better, and at least I exercised as much as I could.  Sweet biscuits. 

And no, I still haven’t figured out what to do about exercise for Saturday.  Will keep you posted.

Posted on January 13th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Challenge!, Exercise Confessions | No Comments »

So.  It’s the second day of the semester, and it was crazy.  Two days in and already I have stories to tell.  Ugh!  I’m telling you, some of the people I deal with on a daily basis at school are just plain nuts.  Anyway, so I just finished filling out my application to take comps and graduate.  I’ll turn them in when I’m back on campus tomorrow.  Obviously I can’t right now.

But why does this feel so much different than the first time?  I guess it’s pretty logical.  When I applied to graduate in the Fall of ‘08 for my BA, I wasn’t really nervous at all.  In fact, I didn’t feel much of anything except stress.  I was taking 12 hours (4 classes - 2 of which were graduate courses) and working nearly 40 hours a week - that was down from about 65+ hours a week that I kept up for nearly 2 years.  I was extremely stressed.  In addition, there were no real nerves involved as far as undergoing a big life change.  That was because by that time, I had already applied and been accepted to graduate school (pending graduation).  So nothing was going to change, really.  I was going to shift to more part-time work, but I was still going to be a full-time student.

But now?  Everything changes come May.  In fact, a lot will change in March.  By the end of March, I will have taken comps and will simply have to complete the remainder of one class and then walk across the stage.  My little part-time job will not turn into a full-time job, because my boss simply does not have need of a full-time employee.  (I’m his ONLY employee.  And I may keep working there in the evenings.  Why not, right?  Sock away some dough while DH is still in school.)  And then school will be a thing of the past, and I will have to hunt for a “real” job…in this economy and in this small city.  Sometimes I could kick myself.  Very very recently, there was a position for executive secretary ($40K and benefits) right here in this small city for an established and reputable company.  But it was either apply for the job and quit school or finish this degree.  Now why does that make me want to kick myself?  Well, I’m so close to graduating that I couldn’t see the sense in quitting now.  But at the same time, in the process of getting this MA, I’ve discovered that I do NOT want to teach.  That begs the question: what in the world will I do with my MA in History now?  Obviously, I can do secretarial/management work for firms that simply require college degree(s), and I have TONS of experience.  But most of those only require a BA, not an MA.  Alas, I simply couldn’t walk away on the degree program now that I’m this close to the end.  So I have to just accept it and pray that God will reveal something to me when the time is right. 

Sorry for all of the rambling.  I’m just feeling very nervous and antsy.  I’m having a difficult time focusing on school work - and truly I have to get busy on that.  12 comps a mere 2 months away are going to take a lot of work, on top of the course work for the class I’m taking at the same time.  (At least I’m not taking 3 classes like everyone else, though.)  I just needed to get that off of my chest.  I’ll get to work.  And after I exercise later, I’ll post my exercise update for the day.

Posted on January 13th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: OT Ramblings | 3 Comments »

Starting weight (November 17, 2008): 285.00 lbs
Weight last Monday (December 29, 2008): 278.60 lbs
Weight this Tuesday (January 13, 2009): 279.60 lbs
Difference: +1 lb weight gain.  Ugh.   
Cumulative Weight Loss: -5.40 lbs total weight loss!

1.89% of my starting weight and 4.32% of my 125 lb weight loss goal achieved.  So I slowed down and then I backed up.  But to tell you the truth, I’m quite relieved that it was ONLY a 1 lb weight gain.  I really believe now that I am one of those people that is not going to lose weight without regular exercise.  I have totally slacked, due to some very valid excuses and some not so valid ones.  And as I recently admitted, even the eating has suffered lately.  And some old habits are rearing their ugly heads: I’ve had too many Sprite Zeros over the last couple of weeks.  It’s not like it used to be, but there have been 5-6 over the last couple of weeks.  That’s not to excuse it, but I really have to stay away from sodas almost entirely, because it’s something that is very easy for me to allow to get out of control.  And ice cream.  Again, as I’ve said before, I simply must keep it out of the house until I feel that I can maintain more control over myself.  But after buying some last week, I KNOW that I am NOT in that place yet.  So while I still haven’t overeaten (on a REGULAR basis) - a fact which I am proud of - that does not mean that I have behaved myself.  There’s the ice cream, and last week DH ordered pizza and I partook a bit too much.  I don’t know.  I’m starting to ramble, but I don’t want to be one of those blogs that ONLY posts about the good and successful times.  I think that would continue old habits of lying to myself - and I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am if I had always behaved myself.  Honesty is key, and that’s a huge purpose of this blog.  If being honest creates a sense of shame in this public forum, so be it.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m trying to not feel overly ashamed or embarrassed, because I also think that is dangerous.  But a little bit?  That is accountability.  And I needs me some of that. 

Posted on January 13th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Honesty - Brutal Honesty, Weigh-In | No Comments »

Today’s Exercise

Method: Elliptical
Duration: 24 Minutes
Distance: 4.50 Miles

SOB!  That was more difficult than it should have been, I think.  But I got back on the horse and made an appointment for another ride tomorrow.  Ha! 

Oh yeah.  Crappity crap biscuits.  I completely forgot about the fact that I have a family reunion that I will be out of town for this weekend.  Let’s see what I can figure out.  Unless I get some exercise in at the park we’ll be at, Saturday will *have* to be a pause day…already.  That sucks.  Sunday won’t be an issue.  We’ll be back home by mid- to late-afternoon.  It’s Friday I’m concerned about.  I really suck at exercising early in the day - the earlier in the day the worse I am at getting it done - but Friday morning will really be the only feasible option.  So wish me luck.  I really don’t want to take both of my pauses this week after what will have been only 4 days of straight exercise.  But I’m not changing the challenge, because either way, I know I can do this. 

Posted on January 12th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Challenge!, Exercise Confessions | No Comments »

I’m not keeping info from the blog.  That would only do myself a disservice if I was intentionally failing to report bad scale reports.  Truthfully I forgot to weigh-in this morning.  I’ll make a mental note to weigh myself in the morning.  You see, I’ve gotten behind on everything. 

Posted on January 12th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Weigh-In | No Comments »

Okay.  So just to prove to myself and you all (but mostly to myself) that I am still serious about this, I’m starting a new exercise challenge today.  I’m not gonna beat myself up over the holidays (lack of exercise, that is) and health issues, but this last week?  I could have fit exercise in, and I simply didn’t.  That’s what happens when we get out of our habits/routines, I suppose.  And it’s not cool at all. 

So.  Tonight?  A new exercise challenge starts for me.  So here’s my personal exercise challenge:

• Must exercise every day for the rest of January - 19 days (will follow up with a full month challenge in February).
• I will call this a Level 2 challenge, meaning I am only permitting myself to take up to 2 pause days (though I am not required to take those, and it will be better for me if I don’t).  Pause days are not exercise-free challenge days.  If I don’t exercise on Day 13, for example, then the next day would be considered Day 13.  I don’t get to count a pause day as a successful challenge day if that makes sense.  If I simply can’t exercise one day for whatever reason, I’ll take one of my 2 pauses and resume the challenge the next day. 
• Included in this challenge will be to re-focus on eating again.  I haven’t been overeating, just haven’t been as conscientious as I was.

I think I wanted to add more to that.  If I think of anything else, I will just tack it on later.  For now, Wheel of Fortune just went off (yeah…I was watching that and typing this rather than doing comps preparations - school started back today).  So I’m going to hope the ipod is charged up enough to get me through 30 minutes on the elliptical.  I’ll return in a bit to make my exercise post. 

Posted on January 12th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Challenge! | No Comments »

Sorry for posting another Off-Topic post.  I just wanted to check in, though.  I haven’t started my new personal challenge yet.  I know, I know. 

I haven’t shared this with anyone in real life, because DH doesn’t want to talk about it.  But this is causing so much stress.  DH is working on quitting smoking, and it is NOT PRETTY.  Stress levels have been insanely high of late because of that.  I’ve suggested to him that he try the patch, but he is adamant that he can do it himself.  Pray for him guys.  He’s having such a hard time.  The good thing is that this whole thing was HIS idea, and he really WANTS to quit - only for health reasons, of course.  The main struggle is that he ENJOYS smoking, and I think that’s why it is such an ordeal for him.  He has serious physical withdrawals - sweating, headaches, shakes - and so far he hasn’t had one fully non-smoking day.  But he is doing SO great; it’s just extremely stressful.  And his mood swings?!?  Dear God!  They’re pissing him off even more than me.  I completely understand and am trying to be very sympathetic, but when he snaps it makes him angry for letting him affect him that way, and that just makes him more upset.  He asked me how I can bear it because he’s finding himself so unbearable right now.  Poor thing. 

And I have the one health problem that still hasn’t gotten better.  I thought it was, but I was wrong.  Anyway.  If something doesn’t change, I’ll have to bite the bullet and go to the doctor…again…without insurance.  Ugh!  I can’t wait to get a job with benefits after I graduate.  Then doctor visits won’t be so scary!

And one of my cats.  Wow.  She is sick as a dog, y’all.  (LOL  Yeah, my cat “sick as a dog.”  Ha!)  Anyway.  She just got over being so sick that she nearly died.  Even the vet calls her a miracle cat.  And now she has had INSANE bowel problems over the last three days.  If things haven’t cleared up by tomorrow, we have to take her to the vet again.  That will be nearly $1000 we’ve spent on just HER at the vet THIS YEAR.  Yeah.  As in 2009.  Wow.  But of course, we’ll take her if it’s necessary.  I just pray that things have cleared up tomorrow.  She’s had to be quarantined…and I just got through spending THREE HOURS cleaning up her room.  I had to put her in the pet carrier, so she was miserable too.  But I really don’t think she could possibly have been as miserable as I was - on my knees scraping, scrubbing, and bleaching for three hours.  My skin burns and my knees are killing me.  But so far she seems to have regained enough control of herself to get back to using the litter box.  If that’s TMI, I apologize.  It’s just been quite the day.  (And I left my cell phone at the school book store…I had to go buy our books after I got off of work.  But that was the LEAST stressful stressful thing that happened to me today!)

Okay, hopefully I’ll be back On-Topic TOMORROW!  As it stands right now, I probably won’t exercise again today.  So far today, I’ve had time to scarf down four mini-muffins (lemon poppy seed - yum!) and one fiber one bar.  Yeah.  So that’s why my stomach hurts right now.  I’ve got to learn how to take care of myself even on these most insane days.  Haven’t figured that out yet, but I’ve seriously got to try harder.  I just straight up neglect myself on days like this, and it does not make reaching my goals any easier.  Not to mention the fact that I haven’t exactly eaten right over the last 2-3 days.  DH ordered pizza the other night, and I had some.  I didn’t go crazy by my OLD standards, but I still believe that I ate too much.  Yeah.  I know I did.  And then I bought ice cream at the grocery store a couple of days ago.  I SOOO know better than that.  I CANNOT HANDLE ice cream.  Just because I haven’t exercised over the last few days (or much over the last few weeks for that matter) doesn’t mean that I can just let my eating go.  But I needed to get that off of my chest, be accountable, and own it. 

So here’s what’s left of tonight.  Make dinner - clean the living room - clean the kitchen - start at least one load of laundry - and try to calm DH down when he gets home around 10:00.  Talk to y’all soon!  About healthy stuff and no more whining I hope!!! 

Posted on January 9th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Honesty - Brutal Honesty, OT Ramblings | 4 Comments »

Well, as I mentioned in the last post, exercise suffered considerably over the holidays.  And that is so totally NOT cool.  I had some valid excuses and some that were just that…excuses.  So it’s time to get back up on the horse, and I need to get going on that before school starts back up again on Monday.  Because then?  I’ll have a whole barrel full of excuses, and I need to be prepared.  Life is plain nutty during the semester, and I only have a few days now to get back into the habit of daily exercise.  I figure if I start tomorrow (today?!?), I can have four days of exercising daily before Monday gets here.  And that sounds good to me! 

So I’m going to start my own personal challenge and post it here on the blog.  I’ll do my best to update daily.  Life is going to get permanently insane until May, so posts may be somewhat infrequent and also short.  I’ll do my best, though, because I am so serious about this - despite what the last 2 weeks brought on.

I’ll decide tomorrow the exact nature of the challenge: 21 days, 30 days, ???  I want to make it long enough to be a challenge but not so long that it seems unreal.  I’d love to make it a challenge for through May, but I that might overwhelm me.  It may make more sense to do 4-5 30-day challenges.  We’ll see. 

Talk to y’all soon!  :)   Thanks again for sticking by me.  Sometime before Monday, I’ll mosey over to the blogs and see what y’all have been up to! 

Posted on January 8th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Challenge! | 2 Comments »

Wow.  I didn’t expect to be away from the blog for this long.  And I’m sorry for making anyone think that I’ve just decided to bail on the whole thing.  I promise that is not the case.  Life has just been insane the last couple of weeks, and I’m just glad to have survived. 

Christmas first.  First I should say that I am thankful that we had plenty of food and a warm house to hold festivities in.  Truly.  Thank God for that.  Aside from that, though?  It was a complete and disastrous nightmare.  We will *never*, I repeat, *never* celebrate Christmas or any other family get-together at my DB’s (dear brother) house as long as he is with the woman he is with and is in the funk that he is in.  It would take up two full blog pages to describe just how disastrous it was.  And to tell you the truth, I’d rather not relive it.  Suffice it to say that NOBODY was happy (and that is putting it mildly) and that the drama lasted for about 4 days.  Yeah. 

Work next.  I have a boss that I am so thankful for and a job that is really quite simple.  But man oh man have we been busy over the last few weeks.  And I’m supposed to have comps study material ready by next Monday, and with everything going on, I haven’t even BEGUN.  Boy oh boy.  But seriously, I’m really thankful for my job.

Health next.  Strange things going on on that front.  After Christmas, I was sick to my stomach for about a week.  I don’t know how food poisoning works, but I’m wondering if that’s what happened.  Because I was absolutely miserable for at least a week.  Yeah.  That means exercise really suffered.  I didn’t pig out at Christmas, although I did eat some things I shouldn’t have.  But I did not overeat, if that makes sense.  I don’t know what it was, but SOMETHING did NOT sit well with me at all.  And I’ve had strange ear problems in my left ear.  Despite having no insurance, I think I’m going to have to see an ear/nose/throat doctor before school starts a week from today.  Because something is not right.  It alternates between sharp pain and fuzzy/staticy sounds in my left ear.  It’s really bizarre.  The best way that I can describe the sensation is that it’s somewhat like “swimmer’s ear,” only I haven’t been swimming.  And to top it all off, there have been some…uhm…female problems of late.  They’ve made me both miserable and worried.  It hasn’t been that long since I’ve been to the doctor, but if things keep going the way they’ve been going, I’ll simply have to make another appointment.  And today finally saw an end to FOUR straight days of nightmarish headaches.  It has NOT been a good couple of weeks.

Sorry to be such a downer.  But I’ve really missed the blog and you all, my chick friends.  I’ve only exercised 3-4 times over the last two weeks, and that has really gotten me frustrated.  It has to change.  But I am mostly happy with my eating habits.  I forgot to weigh in this morning, but last week I think I was down about 1/2 a pound.  So that was really cool coming right off of Christmas.  Now that things have mostly settled back down, I plan to be more faithful to the blog. 

Thanks to everyone who has stopped by to wish me well and tell me they were thinking about me.  Your kind words mean a lot to me.  :)  I’ll stop by and check on you all soon. 

Posted on January 5th, 2009 by schmalger
Filed under: Excuses Excuses, Honesty - Brutal Honesty, OT Ramblings | 7 Comments »