Happy Valentine’s Day from Ms. Grumpy, Not-Preggo!

Heavy, man

It’s been heavy around here for the past couple of days. I’m not sure what’s in the water in Nashville, but there has been an odd feeling of gloom over everything. I had two separate people tell me yesterday that they had dreams that people they were close to died and how awful they felt all day because of it. And that same day (last night) as my roommate and I were complaining to each other that we were both uncharacteristically grouchy (I think I even yelled something like, “Let’s go burn shit down!”), she got a phone call that one of her best friends had committed suicide. He was only 24.

So it’s been pretty terrible.

But this morning I decided to shove my grumpiness up its own ass. Celebrate the life I have. I woke up, went to yoga, then worked out! Yoga was an hour, and then I went on an elliptical and set it on weight loss mode. It felt great! TLC was on the TV on the machine, and I watched “My Strange Addiction” the whole time. I haven’t had cable in like a year and a half so I forgot how fascinating and repulsive reality TV is. No thank you, TLC, I do not want to watch a guy who obsessively cleans roadkill off the road (but I will because I can’t tear my eyes away). Anyway, I was inspired to make an actual work out plan.

New workout goals:

Monday: Yoga and Cardio for at least half an hour
Tuesdays: Rest (I usually work 12 hours on Tuesdays)
Wednesdays: Yoga and Cardio for at least half an hour
Thursdays: Cardio for at least half an hour or a walk to and back from work
Fridays: Rest
Saturdays: Rest
Sundays: Rest

I guess you’ll know tomorrow if I succeeded or not. ūüôā

Truth Time

Ugh, Valentines Day is coming up and for the first time ever I’m not looking forward to it. Maybe it’s because it’s the first year since college that I’m not dating someone, but even when I was single I loved it. I love making valentines, buying candy for people, generally showing everybody I care about how much they mean to me. But now I’m all grumpy-pants and annoyed about it all. When girlShelby was talking about her upcoming birthday at a fancy restaurant, I realized I’m the only one in about 10 people she invited that is single. I was encouraged to “bring someone.” So… who wants to be my date? I guess I could bring Tilly-the-cat. Dress her up in saucy pearls and heels. All right, at least I’ve got that figured out.

Uhhhhh weight loss content: ¬†I’ve juiced every single morning since procuring my juicer, and I really love it. I try to do mostly vegetables, but I always include at least one apple since it sweetens it up and gives a lot of liquid. I also have NOT worked out since I last posted, and I’m making myself update this blog so I can chastise myself. I’ve got yoga Wednesday with Mikey, and nothing planned for the rest of that day, so I WILL go on the elliptical for 45 minutes. I’ll already be at the gym for goodness’ sake.

I’ve also been experimenting a lot with food recipes, since straight salad can border on boring. Chickpea burgers, fried cauliflower (instead of fried rice), lentil stew, and oatmeal banana cookies are just some of the new recipes I’ve tried. And they all only have fruits, vegetables, beans, or whole oats! I didn’t even use oil for the fried cauliflower, just a couple of teaspoons of vegetable stock. And the banana oatmeal cookies are literally two mashed bananas and a cup of oats mixed up and baked for 15 minutes. I think one thing that’s helping me stick to this kind of lifestyle is the infinite possibilities. I feel like I can never be bored! And boredom is my number one enemy in life, second only to laziness; almost every failing or downfall I’ve had I can trace back to one of those. This is truth time.

But as a GenY kid, self esteem was pushed entirely too much to be too down on myself. So! Positive thinking! I can do it! Now that I’ve addressed the problem, I have no more excuses (right? maybe)!


I love having this blog like I never thought I would. People I don’t even know have been so encouraging and it has really helped my motivation to be reminded to JUST DO IT (NIKE STYLE!). After writing my last post (a little more cheese with the whine?), I have gone to the gym twice! I always go to yoga on Wednesday mornings with my good friend Mikey, and then today my friends Rod and Carrie picked me up to work out on the elliptical. 45 minutes, bitches. It felt great!

I also have (finally) procured a JUICER! Here, I took a picture so you could see what I made today.

Gettin\' JUICED

MMMMMMmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm

I had it directly after my cardio workout this morning. Then I took a shower, went to work, and got all of the accounting I needed to do today done within 3 hours when I thought it would take at least 5. Now I’m not going to say that the juice gave me magical math abilities, but the juice totally gave me magical math abilities (and tasted great!).

On my way back to the east side (I do the accounting downtown), I stopped at the ol’ coffee shop to pick up my check. Then I went next door the deli because please, I am always thinking about food. Did you know I completely forgot that they sell fresh, locally grown produce? And I get a discount! So when I noticed the tomatoes calling my name, I bought over a pound for like $2.62. And then I came home and roasted them with some onions, garlic, and thyme, after which I put it in my blender with some basil and made the most kick-ass tomato sauce ever. I ate it over some finely sliced zucchini I cut to mimic noodles! Now I’m not going to say that the juice helped me make the most kick-ass tomato sauce ever, but…. Ok, just kidding. But to say that over the past few weeks I’ve had more energy is an understatement. I’ve had people I rarely see and who have no idea I’ve changed my diet tell me so. And those people know everything!!!!! (no they don’t)

Let’s hope I can keep this motivation up! Thank you to the people who have given me kind words, it really means a lot.

This is Sergeant Pepper, signing out.

What’s My Motivation?

I like having this blog because I feel like I can be totally honest. Today when I got to work, Nicole had made and brought in VEGAN BLONDIES. Why do people torture me with these delicious baked concoctions?! I had a piece (to be polite, right?) and tried to assure myself that it was at least vegan. I know the real truth though. Most vegan foods (especially baked goods) take out the eggs and milk and replace it with sugar and oil! Exactly what I’m trying to avoid! … but it was good.

Otherwise, eating wise, I’m still rocking it. I skipped out on the Superbowl party I was invited to last night because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. (In fact, when I got a text saying the host had made RIBS AND CHICKEN WINGS, I knew it wasn’t safe. This girl loves some ribs and chicken wings.) And while my roommate and I watched Star Trek instead (HOLLA), I ran out to Kroger and binge-bought every kind of fruit my little heart desired. I’ve been great at buying vegetables, but I always forget to buy fruit! Not this time. Nailed it.

The place where I am still slacking is in the exercise camp. I just cannot seem to make it to the Y on my own. It’s not that I don’t have time. To be honest, I don’t work that many hours, and I can be very flexible with the ones I do work. It’s 11:41 on a Monday morning and I’m sitting at home, writing this blog post. I could be at the Y! I could be walking outside! It’s a beautiful day! The sun is shining! There’s no more snow! I know all of these things. And yet I also know that I’ll probably end up sitting at my desk for the next few hours, sipping on this iced americano, doing nothing.

Where do I find the motivation? Why is it easier for me to eat well then to work out? I’m feeling better and happier, definitely, but I’m sure I would feel even better if I would exercise more ever. BLEH.

Over and out.

Well hang me over, I feel sick

So, yesterday this happened.


Actually it would be more accurate to say that it was one of many hilariously awful things that happened at work yesterday. ¬†I won’t go into detail here (this is trying to be a weight loss blog, after all), but rest assured that the hilarity did not end with this picture.

Because of the crazy morning, I didn’t get to go to yoga with Mikey. I’ve actually been pretty bad about exercising, even though I’ve been awesome with my food. I’ve walked to and from work twice, (about 4 miles there and back), and done group classes, but haven’t worked out at the Y on my own at all.

Also because of the crazy morning I let myself get drunk last night on gin and soda waters with Julie, Julia, and girlShelby. BAD IDEA. I got drunk really fast, and now for the first time since I started eating this way, feel like shitballs. When my roommate asked me when I got home last night, I could only reply with, “Hell if I know!” Hangovers are the woooorst andIamneverdrinkingagain!!! (I will drink again.)

I have, however, been watching food documentaries on Netflix. I feel like I’m late to the game, but it’s so inspiring to see how much healthier people are, and how their lives are completely changed just by eating real food! I’ve been basically sobbing into my kale every night shouting encouraging words to the screen. So far I’ve watched Hungry for Change and Sick, Fat, & Nearly Dead. Hungry for Change was a little cheesy, (that girl?) but still worth watching, I’d say. What watching these has made me want to do now is juice. And just as I was saying that to a friend of mine, he offered to give me his old one! Who just has an old juicer lying around? So now I’m going to incorporate a juice in the morning for breakfast. I’m going to get JUICED. (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)

Strawberry Ice Cream

Today at work, hardly even noticing what I was doing, I picked up a spoon and took a big bite of strawberry ice cream from the cabinet. I froze mid-chew, my mind frantically yelling, “What have you done?!!” I debated spitting it out in the trash, but decided the harm was already done and swallowed. I felt maybe a little guilty about the bite, but more bewildered as to how it happened. That was an almost unconscious act, completely forgettable. How many times had I done this before without realizing? I literally spend my work hours (except the accounting) surrounded by ice cream and pastries. I used to think nothing of taking little bites of one flavor here, another there. How many calories could I have saved just by cutting that out?¬†It’s a little frightening to think about, but I’m just glad that I’m finally on the way to a healthier life.

I don’t really take much stock in these things, but this is an excerpt of a yearly horoscope for Virgos that I thought was interesting (my birthday’s the 5th).

For those of you born September 3-5 and those with an Ascendant of 10-12 degrees Virgo, Pluto trines your Sun/Ascendant, and you are bound to have an uplifting, transforming year. You could take up some form of physical or health program that completely changes the way you feel about yourself. The things that give you joy and positive feedback figure prominently this year, and you feel renewed and regenerated. You also feel particularly strong and personally powerful. There is no such thing as playing the victim this year–you’re the victor and you feel it. You enjoy an increased ability to concentrate and focus on what really matters to you. Living authentically is what this year is all about. You are also learning to “own” your creative voice and the style in which you communicate, becoming less reticent about expressing yourself in creative ways, as well as communicating your ideas and perspectives. For some of you, the lines of communication are opening up with your own children. This is a potentially empowering time in your life when your personality is more vibrant, magnetic, focused, and resolute. You might take up a pleasantly consuming new hobby, line of work, or interest now. You might also begin a new health program (body, mind, or spirit) that improves your outlook on life. You might kick a bad habit or rid yourself of undesirable attitudes that have, in the past, held you back from success.

Temptations, or, A Study in Relations as Regarding to Gastronomical Issues

A couple of nights ago I was invited to the Shelbys’ house for dinner. There are two things you need to know before I go any further. One is that the Shelbys refers to two friends of mine that are together that are both named Shelby. Like, both of their first names are Shelby. Like, when you talk to them when they are both present you must call them BoyShelby and GirlShelby to avoid confusion. It’s cray. Second, is that when one is graced with an invitation for dinner at the Shelbys’ house, one will accept, even when one is eating mainly fruits and vegetables. ¬†The Shelbys can cook.

So what could I do when GirlShelby called me (wait, texted. who calls anymore?) over for shrimp and grits and beer? I accepted! But asked for a half portion of the grits, and brought the makings for gin and tonics so I could drink too! I actually bought soda water instead of tonic because when looking at the label noticed tonic has high fructose corn syrup in it (?!). It’s only like 35 calories for a gin and soda water according to¬†this article!

The next day one of my oldest friends in Nashville, Josh, invited me to lunch. He had just gotten back from a trip to Atlanta with his lady friend. Since Atlanta is our closest Ikea, they spent a good five hours there roaming. Through their adventure they found elderberry soda syrup! Josh, knowing my strong affinity with elderberries (story for another time), bought me a bottle! He has literally been trying to do this for years. Another story for another time. Anyway, we went to lunch at my favorite Thai place, and again, I tried to be smart about what I ate. We started with vegetable spring rolls (they’re fresh, not fried!) and pho, then I had half of a vegetable green curry, eating only about a quarter of the rice.

What I’ve been realizing these past several days is that to change my attitude about food and the way I eat won’t require me to ostracize myself from my community. I think that’s what I’ve been most worried about. But guess what, me? I can still eat manna from heaven at the Shelbys! I can still gossip about old coworkers’ new drama with Josh while eating Thai food (because where else do you gossip about old coworkers’ new drama?!)!

The only problem is that I’m still peeing every hour, on the hour. But I think I can handle it.

Day Two

It’s day two and I’m feeling great! I must have peed like 100 times yesterday. I guess I need to retrain my bladder.

I got up early and went to morning yoga at the YMCA today. ¬†I’ve been in this neighborhood for over a year now, but it still surprises me when I see people I know everywhere I go. I sat next to Sheridan, a sweet lady who is a regular at the independent coffee shop I manage. ¬†Yoga was relaxing as always, and instead of immediately running to my car after class as usual, I looked around at all of the work out equipment, noting the layout, and picking out which machines to use tomorrow. It’s crowded in there! And busy! But I made another resolution that I’m not allowed to use embarrassment as an excuse not to work out.

Yesterday’s eating was a success. I had cut up fruit from Mitchell Deli (next door to where I work) for breakfast, and 2 pieces of Ezekiel bread spread with avocado, spices (salt, pepper, chipotle chili powder), and nutritional yeast for lunch. ¬†Then for dinner I stir fried a ton of vegetables from my freezer with a homemade spicy garlic sauce (soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, garlic, chiles).

Today I went shopping at Kroger for good food (and saw my favorite Julia there). ¬†Bought a lot of vegetables and beans. So far today I cut up a green pepper and plopped a couple of tablespoons of some organic hummus on top. BOOYA. ¬†I’m totally going to rock this.

Signing off to drink more water and eat more vegetables. Over and out.

(And thank you for reading!!)

Not Pregnant, Just Fat

Today I was asked for the third time in 2 months when I was due.

Uh, not pregnant. Thanks for asking, though.

I had been observing my weight gain with a sort of nonchalance that bordered on denial until today. ¬†I’d think, well, I just had a bad breakup (over a year ago?), or, these jeans don’t fit because they shrunk in the dryer (right), and, I go to yoga! (actually, it’s “basic” yoga, and I only go once in a while). Hopefully today was the kick in my ass I needed to get me back in shape and eating well.

So I made a plan.  A simple one, but simple ones are the easiest for me to follow.

  1. Drink a shit-ton of water. (There are approximately 6-8 16 oz glasses in one shit-ton)
  2. Go to 2 group workout classes at the Y a week. I’m already planning to go to yoga Wednesday morning and Basic Yoga and Dance It Out Thursday morning.
  3. Exercise on my own 2 times a week (at the Y)
  4. Only eat food that is whole, natural, and all of those other buzz words. More specifically, I’ll let myself eat all the fruit and vegetables I want, limit my bread intake to the 7-grain Ezekiel Bread, and buy only very lean meat. ¬†Also lots of beans.

I don’t necessarily want to set a weight goal because in the end I want to be healthy, not just skinny,… but let’s be honest, I started this entire thing because of appearances, so I’m not going to lie to myself. Of course I want to be thin! ¬†But I promise to do it in the healthiest way possible. ¬†And I couldn’t starve myself if I tried (and I have) because I like food too much! Therefore, I declare on this day January 22, the year of our Lord two thousand thirteen, I would like to lose 40 of the pounds so wastefully stuck on my body. ¬†I actually don’t know my exact weight at the moment, but when I find out I’d like to start a ticker so you folks can keep watch at home!

All right.  Wish me luck, internet.  Here goes nothing.

And no, I’m not pregnant. ¬†Just fat.