Not a FAT girl forever

The time has now come to DO IT!

Starting not to badly :-) March 26, 2013

Filed under: normal day to day — tryingbeauty @ 3:42 am

Good day ladies!!

Ok so last night I went out with my friends for dinner…I was SO tempted drink a few beers, but I did not…I did have grapetizer though, which was also not the best choice, but no beer, oh and the one drink I did have was 1 caramel Vodka shot…hmmmm yummy!!!

So for my dinner i ordered a staek roll and salad. I ate the steak roll and was really full so I left the salad.
I also had 4 Provitas with Gorganzola (blue cheese) cos I bought it, and i just LOVE blue cheese!!!
Then the boy in my previous post let me know I was not woth his time and energy and he was chatting to 3 other girls and that he will probly end up picking one of them…..I was just like WTF!!! So then i went on abit of a binge and i ate jelly beans and some biltong (its like beef jerky in the USA) and I had a little cry and now im done and over it.

Today started off good aswell. I had my 2 boiled eggs, a kiwi and coffee (no sugar) for breakfast. snack was 4 provitas with blue cheese and lunch was 1 chicken breast stuffed with blue cheese and wrapped with Pancetta. Not THE most healthiest, but no starch and nothing else…oh and I had some green tea…I know I should be drinking water…I just dont want to…  :-(
But I will stop moaning and go get me a bottle of water and drink it..and its little friends aswell.

This week is difficult for workingout as I am not home (im sleeping at work) because my car is in for something or other that is wrong with it ( I work at a guesthouse).  I barely have everything I need here as I just grabbed a bag and threw some stuff in it to hopefully last me till I get my car.

Im glad I didnt give up on this completely. Im happy I came backand started reading the blogs againand started posting in mine again…Giving up is not an option any longer…I want to be happy.

Have a good day my weight loss friends

 

Im BACK!!!! March 25, 2013

Filed under: normal day to day — tryingbeauty @ 12:04 am

Hellloooo all you stunning, wonderful, beautiful ladies!!!

Ok so it has been about 2 weeks since i have been on here…the fist week I was really depressed and down, and I was getting tired and irritaed with myself for always wrighting that im going to gym and im going to eat rite and all of that, so I decided to just stop lying to myself!

The second week I was really busy and when I thought “ok I will pop on and read a few and post on my own blog” the time just ran away with me.

I have missed my blog SO much (HUG) :-)

Well the good news is that I have lost about 1.2KG in those two weeks, which is not alot, but hey, I will put that in my back pocket thank you very much!!

I have also met this awesome guy who is a gym freak and has also lost weight, so he knows what it is about, and he said he is crazy about me (not too sure why) and he will motivate me and help me where ever he can…that is so awesome….now all I need to do is get rid of the crazy thoughts in my head and just get to know this guy! And maybe give him half a chance to get to know me….

Anyways…I went to the Farmers Market aswell last week and I got some nice fresh veggies and nice lean meats….im getting excited again to do this weigth loss thing. I want to look good for this guy, and I want to look awesome for my friends wedding and I want to look good just in my normal day to day and I want to feel awesome…band wagon…I am getting back on you horrible thing and I will stay on and fight if you want to through me off again…Its time now to do this!!! Seriously!!! I need to do this!!

Today I will plan my meals for the rest of the week and stick to my menu so that when people come with other options I already know what I am going to have.

I am going to put my all in this week…which me luck ladies!

 

Not to bad….Not to good either March 9, 2013

Filed under: normal day to day — tryingbeauty @ 12:32 pm

Ok! Enough now!! I have been whining like a little bitch about craving shit like pasta and rice and crap….Im DONE now!!!  No more crap, no more whining, NOW I need to shut my trap and do the rite things for me to loose weight!!!  I am now sick of myself!

I got up this morning and hopped on the scale…It said I was one KG up……So I was just like…”WHAT EVER”
I went to go do some washing and I felt I had to go for my morning ummmmm toilet session….hopped on the scale after…I was down that 1KG….BUT my dear friends…I am still at a massive 148.8KG…..Honestly now…I am irritating myself, cos I am forever complaining about my huge ass, I am forever moaning that I want to look pretty and be fit and everything, but I stuff my face with loads of Pasta and crap….Im angry…Angry that I am allowing myself to still be this person which I dislike so much, and I am not doing anything to change it….I always say….”you are not allowed to complain if you are not doing anything to change it” So im a hypocrite!!! And I now need to make this change and freakin stick with it!!

So now follows the reason for my frantic state of mind…..We went for that dress fitting today……… I have never met the other Bridesmaids except for one, and I felt abit out of place as they all know each other, but I was ok, and I interacted and was friendly like a good friend “fellow bridesmaid”
SO everyone was fitting on dresses and trying some styles (one by one) as the rest watched…. One of the other girls is also abit bigger, but I am most definitely the biggest. How do I know this??? They took everyones measurements and with all of the other bitches having HUGE boobs - D cup, DD cup- and me having ummmm what ever these things on my chest want to be - barely B cup- my measurement was the highest out of everyones…and ofcourse the lady that helped us said “oh…She is the winner” I thought I was going to spit her eye out!!   So me trying to deflect this comment just made a joke and said  ” Ya cos its fat my friend….hahahahahahaha” but inside I was like…really…really…. I felt stupid and humiliated and out of place and just like rubbish…. I need to loose this weight…I MUST loose this weight….I am done being unhappy and looking for excuses….I am just done!

This week I am putting in everything I have! Im going to work twice as hard, eat 100% rite, and I am going to start doing this now…no more games!  No more saying things and then not doing them NOTHING!  Just honest hard work and commitment!!!

LETS DO THIS!!!

 

Really? March 8, 2013

Filed under: Getting Motivated again, normal day to day — tryingbeauty @ 1:47 am

OK…can someone please just SLAP me…seriously…someone just slap the shit out of me!!!

I was doing my post yesterday, and I was amped and I was going to do it(gym) and then I went home, and I thought .”ok let me take a 15min snooz and then gym” I slept from 5pm till 6:30pm…an hour and a half!!! Why am I so tired that I want to sleep 5 in the afternoon??

So needless to say I did not work out, cos by that time I had not even thought about cooking dinner, so I got my lazy ass up and i made myself some veggies and chicken(bonelss, skinless) and that was dinner. Then my friend who moved also said that she is packing everything away and was wondering if I could help her, and ofcourse me being the “good friend” I ate my dinner and went to go help her…we did pack and fold and move and everything for like 2 hours, so there as a little bit of a sweat going on (its summer in South Africa = its hot) and i eventually left her place at 22:30 and went home and slept like a baby (luckily i took a bath before I went there)

I need to get my act together now!  Time is running out, and im still not even 10KG down.. :-O
We are going for that dress fitting tomorrow…(Bride to be is driving with me. Im so glad im her go to girl :-) )
Let me tell you…I am NOT looking forward to it, but I will suck up my selfish insecurities and do it for her.
I am already in my head seeing that the dress is not going to fit me, and the other girls are going to have no problems with their dresses, but they will need like 10meters of extra material for my dress, oh my GOSH!!!

OK calm down……breeeeaaaattttthhh……….. Maybe tomorrow might just be the kick I need to get my ever expanding rear into gear and just focus and DO IT!!! MAybe it will be my wake up call?? If not anything else atleast that…at the very least…

I hope all you beauties have a fantastic weekend…I will pop in sometime over the weekend to catch up and see what is news. Stay strong ladies… :-)

 

 

 

What is wrong with me? March 7, 2013

Filed under: normal day to day — tryingbeauty @ 3:29 am

Welll hello there my fellow Bloggers / Weight fighters :-)

Oh my goodness me!!  I feel like I am slipping off the wagon abit more each day…My periods are done, im feeling ok, so I do NOT know what is wrong with me!!

I am eating bread, and rice and pasta and all the JUNK that I should not be eating… and then I get pissed off with myself for eating them, and when im lying in my bed I am SUPER motivated and think that tomorrow I will not eat those things and I will gym extra hard, but when I wake up in the morning im just like….Oh great… another day to look at what you eat, work up the enthusiasm to work out, but dont get me wrong…I am loving the work outs and I am really putting in effort, but oh gosh…to get there…. I know I need to focus…but can someone point me in the rite direction…  :-) I have a motive for wanting to lose this weight, but it just seems like I am not getting there….Is my motives not good or big or strong enough??
I want to look pretty in those damn wedding pictures man! I want to feel good! I want to be confident!!!!!

So this past week ( since monday) I have done some Taebo for 30 mins every evening..Tuesday evening I wanted to do some cardio in the gym aswell but my gym buddie was in a hurry, so I ended up not doing anything else. Although I did notice that when she is there I do seem to work out harder to try and out do her….a little compitition was never a bad thing.

Last night though (wednesday) I didnt do any kind of excersice. She didnt come to my house, and me having dinner at my moms was an easy excuse not to gym…I know.. That was a shit of an excuse, but I used it… I was EXHAUSTED when I got home and fell asleep on my bed at like 7pm, and if I didnt get a message I would not have woken up. So I eventually got in bed at about 9pm tired as a dog, and I slept very very well, but when I woke up this morning I was still so tired.

So with me being tired and all and my gym buddy cancelling on my cos she has the shits, I decided that I dont need her to work out, it just makes it more fun when she is there, but I will workout tonight regardless. I will have my fat ass infront of Mr Billy Blanks and I will sweat like a pig, and then I will do some squats.

I have also noticed that alot of you ladies set mini goals for yourself…me?? I just carry on…just what ever happens is my attitude…and I think I should start setting some small realistic goals for myself, and start working toward them. Tell me what you think? Do these mini goals work for you?

Oh and it also seem to me like everyone is doing SO much regarding working out and i am not doing alot at all…. Some people are running, and doing yoga and this and that all in one go…HOW!
Am I just a big lazy ass??

I love these pictures, so I try to put a few on with every other blog, they inspire me a little…SOOOOOO:

 

 

02/03/2013 Weigh in March 4, 2013

Filed under: Weigh in — tryingbeauty @ 5:30 am

Ok so I weighed on Saterday and the weight is unchanged and stands as follows:

Last weigh in: 148.8 KG

This week: 148.8KG

 

This week I will be working HARD and making sure I eat rite…I am done with just being ok with loosing a little  bit of weight here and there….I need to see some good and proper results!!

Definatly need a nice number to get me into action again!

DOING IT!!!!

 

Getting it together.

Filed under: normal day to day — tryingbeauty @ 5:15 am

Today is another B!*%$ of a Monday, but I have decided that it is not going to get me down.

Before I started typing this post I read the First part of my last post, DAMN I was a moaning COW!
And I do not want to be like that… Im a happy person and a positive person….yes I was feeling like the dog crapped on me that day, but wow… That was beyond sad!

So today I am happy to say that I am not feeling like that, and I am ready for action…Tonight I am going to work out like my life depended on it!!  I read all of the post that you ladies put up on your blogs, and I think to myself…wow  I am doing NOTHING in comparison to some of you ladies!
I need to work harder, I need to do more and I need to put more of an effort in! No excuses!

I weighed myself on saturday, and my weight was exactly the same, which I am ok with just aslong as it is not a gain…I will take it. I was scared of a gain though as I was helping my friend move and I did not workout once last wees, and I was eating bread and didnt really care for what i was eating (stupid me)

So I was thinking to myself….this wedding of my friend is comming closer and closer…and even though time it still on my side for now….Time DOES NOT stand still, and I cant wake up a month before the wedding and then want to start loosing weight! NO MAN! So I need to pull my self together and work my fat ass off!!!
So I have decided to train harder and longer than normal…I used to do basic Taebo for 30mins everyday….I am now going to do that, and then work on the Orbitrek for as long as I can ( that thing eats me alive) and the next night i will do Taebo and treadmil…I need to up my workouts, but I get so exhausted and sore…but then again I suppose that is the goal is it not? Cos if you are not exhausted and sore…YOU ARE NOT WORKING OUT!!! I think at this stage I am being to soft on myself…..I need a kick up the ass to do more and train harder.

My other friend is going to start training with my from tomorrow evening which will then also be a motivation, and she pushes me to go harder, and do more, so I am excited about that! She has been full of excuses why she is never at my house to train, but she has now also made a dicesion to put her head in the rite place and just do it! I am also going to concentrate more on what I eat…. It is rubbish that I just stuff what ever I can find into my mount!!

Here is to a better week ladies!!