How about a little background info?

I’m 5″4 (well 5″3 and a half) and come from a family of short women who battle with their weight. The thin ones are the ones who figured out eating right and exercise that works for them. I wanted to be one of them. My mom is one of them, but she wasn’t always. When I was about 8 she became a diabetic when her pancreas stopped producing insulin one day. It wasn’t due to being heavy, it just shut down. At this point she had already gotten me into the habit of us going to the store for chips, candy bars, and pop after school.

She had to learn to eat right and exercise to maintain a good life and she did it. I was left to continue on with what I had learn leaving me to be obese throughout childhood until high school. In high school I was thin because I was so self concious and anxious around people I was too scared to eat my lunch infront of others. I was 126lbs back then. When I look at pictures I look odd at this weight and this is why I set my goal at 140 lbs. After high school I got confidence and as I started my first job and going to college full time (my mom wanted me to do both) the stress had me pack on 20 lbs almost immediately, then another period passed where another 20 lbs packed on within a short time frame. I think I got to the point where I was scared to weigh myself and be accountable.

I went through the ‘I can be fat and happy phase’ for awhile, but then realized I couldn’t do this anymore. I wanted to be happy, I didn’t want to feel ashamed when I looked in the mirror. My then boyfriend (who is now my fiance) said he would try to help with accountability but he’s one of those thin types who can eat whatever he wants and he’s actually struggling to gain weight. He’s gotten a lot better now at keeping me on track when I can’t do it myself, and I am grateful for him.

One day, everything clicked. I bought a scale and decided I needed to know how much I weighed. I was planning on crying if I was at 200 lbs, but I was at 194.4. Though we weren’t engaged, we did want to get married and start a family and I wanted to get to my goal before we did all that.

Through trial and error here I am today, almost a year after starting dieting, working out, failing for months at a time (took a break from Dec to March), and finally finding my niche. I’ve lost over 40 lbs and I only have a little over then 10 lbs to goal. I wanted to lose 54 total and I’m going to do this. Just watch me.