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Rough Few Weeks

I didn’t realize that it had been so long since I last posted!

These last few weeks have been anything but great. I caught a cold which then turned into bronchitis so my exercises routine, which I had been really proud of and motivated about, fell to the way side.

My eating habits have taken a turn for the worse as well. For no other reason than feeling sorry for myself I have been eating the worst things. Slurpees and chocolate and pot stickers and juice and chips and spitz and ice cream and the list just goes on and on!

Luckily I am feeling much better after a weekend of relaxing so it is back to running and working out!

It’ll be like starting from scratch again which really gets me down. I had made such progress with my running especially and now I have to start all over again. The only thing that keeps me even slightly motivated is my goal of running the 5K in August. It makes me panic that I won’t be ready for it in time, but I’m going to work hard to make it!

I’m really looking forward to the stress relief that working out gives me. I am so irritable these days and I know it’s partly because I haven’t been exercising as well as because I haven’t had the alone time that working out gives me.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting back into the habit of working out!

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Prioritize Weekend Workouts/Food

Happy Monday! Said no one, ever…

As much as I complain about Mondays, it is always nice to get back into the routine of the work week. Especially when it comes to workouts and eating right.

I really struggled this weekend. It was crazy busy and I scarcely had time to sit down, let alone exercise. Friday is when I usually do my last run of the week, but this Friday I had an early dinner for a friends birthday so I thought “not a problem, I’ll get my run in on Saturday.”, needless to say that didn’t happen. We did a ton of errands all day Saturday and then went to a bbq (the natural enemy of the health conscience) and then I went to the club with my best friend… That will be posted about later for sure. Sunday, of course, was Father’s Day and my boyfriend is a father so we spent the day at a car show and went out to eat for lunch (at a bbq joint no less). When we finally came home I was exhausted so Darin made a beer chicken while I had a short nap. I can safely say that at the end of a long day you just want something comforting, and for us it was Dairy Queen.

So there it is. Did you notice that there was zero healthy activity or eating? My body sure did. I’m feeling very sluggish and tired today which I haven’t been for the last 2 weeks because of the running and eating better.

One thing that I feel I should really do is buy a scale. I haven’t weighed myself in a very long time, and it is an important indicator of weightloss (Duh). I’m a little torn to be honest. I don’t want to become obsessed with the number on the scale, or have all of my success tied up with my weight. The whole goal is to be healthy and fit, not skinny, right?

In conclusion, I have to get my butt back in gear! Running is happening today on the treadmill, as well as getting in my abs and squats challenge goals done for today (I’ll post the challenge charts links below - Day 5!). Wish me luck!

I found this abs challenge chart on another wrodpress blog!:

http://nsfitbitch.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/30-day-ab-challenge/

I found this squat challenge chart at:

http://strivengrind.com/30-day-squat-challenge/

Enjoy!

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Surprising Revelation

It’s amazing what you learn about the people you’ve known for most of your life.

In an earlier post I wrote about having a bingeing eating disorder. I also wrote about feeling alone and that the people closest to me might not understand what I’m going through. That worry was put to rest when I got up the courage to tell a friend about my bingeing. You know what she said? “Welcome to the club.”

Needless to say, I was shocked. I had no idea that this woman that I had been friends with for most of my life was dealing with the same problem that I was. More shocking is that we had never talked about it with each other before.

It was amazing to feel less alone and that there was someone who knew exactly what I was going through, and better yet, had strategies to help overcome bingeing and the guilt that comes with it.

Speaking of strategies, I have come up with a few that I implemented all last week that have helped to curb my bingeing dramatically. One of them was making sure to pack a lunch and snacks for work every day. That helped enormously because I generally either wouldn’t eat all day, or I would buy lunch at the cafe by work. Niether of those choices were very good. I also eat almost the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch. That way I don’t have to get creative in the morning or afternoon when I pack my lunch making it easy and stress free. The last thing that I have been doing is tracking my food and exercise every day on a tracking app on my phone. It helps me to see how many calories I’m consuming and the amount of food I eat in a day, which used to be much more all at once before I started tracking.

Paying attention to my body and what it really needs instead of paying attention to what my head is saying it needs is a struggle for me, but I am keeping at it. Every time I start to crave something I ask myself “Do you want this because you’re hungry, or bored/tired/thirsty?” It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it makes me feel amazing.

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Day One

It feels great to be back to writing! I took time off for my vacation, but i didn’t mean for the break to last as long as it did.

There has not been much progress in the weightloss department, but I have had some success dealing with my bingeing. I’m trying really hard to be a more thoughtful eater and listening to my body rather than my head. I am calling the doctors office this afternoon to make an appointment to talk about the bingeing, so that is another step in the right direction.

Another step in the right direction is starting on my 5K training today! I’m super excited to have a goal to work for regarding fitness and, although it will be hard, I think it is managable.

I’m still taking eating better one step at a time. I read an article that suggested that binge eaters not change the types of food they are eating, but the way and quantity of what they are eating. It is something that I found on a medical site, but it being the internet I am taking any advice I get from it with a grain of salt. That being said, I have cut down on the sweets that I have been eating and trying to really focus on when my body is comfortably full.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me! :)

 

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Positive Changes

Here are the first few steps on my journey…

I just registered for a Run or Dye event on my area this summer, which is a 5K fun-run and they throw a bunch of coloured dye at you! It is in late August so I have some time to train for it, and a good friend of mine who is a runner is going to help me. I have always wanted to run and this is a perfect opportunity to train up to 5K and have something to show for it when I reach that goal.

Also, we’re starting a month long abs and squats challange when I get back from vacation on the 21st of May. It looks punishing!

These are fun and challanging goals, which is important because without fun, I’m just not interested! Plus they are relatively short term, so I will be able to acheive them and feel a sense of accomplishment. And that’s the key isn’t it? To feel like you’re winning this battle step by step? After each one is done I will add a new goal or event to work towards.

As for weightloss goals I hope to lose 50 lbs in 6 months. This may seem like a long time to lose that amount, but I have lost weight quickly and it has always come back with a vengence! This time I’m taking it slow, taking my time.

I am working on a goal spreadsheet, so when that gets completed I will share the details with you!

Nikki

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Bad Weekend

Good morning and happy Monday!

Just to clarify it’s only a happy Monday because it put to bed a bad food weekend.

This is kind of a hard topic for me to write about, but since this blog is new, there won’t be many people seeing it!

I binge. I eat excessive amounts of food not because I’m hungry, but because I have a compulsive need to. There are days when I will eat a 1kg bag of spitz, a litre of ice cream, 2 king size chocolate bars, a bag of chips, a box of Oreos and a large slurpee in one sitting. I just can’t seem to stop myself and it all starts with the thought popping into my head that I should go to the convenience store and get a snack and then I leave the place with a bag packed with the least healthy food on the planet and not know how I got there.

I only recently realized that binging is what I’m doing. I had just finished eating all of the crap I had bought and a friend called and wanted to hang out. I immediately gathered up all the garbage from my binge and hid it in my garbage can, as if she would look into the can to see what I was eating. It occured to me then that I had a problem. If i’m ashamed to eat the way I do and I hide it from the people who wouldn’t judge me for it, there must be something serious going on.

I do not purge. I think that’s important to say because people atomatically assume that if you binge, you purge. I always thought the two went hand in hand. I have thought about it though, and even tried to make myself sick, but I couldn’t make myself throw up. I’m ashamed to admit that. No one wants to have an eating disorder.

The next step is obviously getting help. I have found a eating disorder help group in my area that I should go to. But first I want to visit my doctor. I have to tell her what’s going on and listen to what she has to say about treatment. I can’t afford expensive therapy, I just can’t, so I’m hoping she’ll have some advice for me on that.

I just want to stop bingeing.

I will let you know what progress I make and what the doctor has to say about it after I see her. I feel better just having written it down.

Nikki

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About Me!

Hi everyone!

My name is Nichole, and I am fat.

No that that is out of the way, we can get on to the nitty gritty! I am a 26 year old, 5′ 1″, 160lb woman living in Beautiful British Columbia Canada. I am not married, but am living with my spouse. I have no children, but boy do I want some!

I come from a tightknit immediate family of which I am the oldest sibling of 3 kids. My parents are still happily married and we all get along like gangbusters! Oh, and they are all within a healthy weight range or thinner, and always have been.

I have been overweight since I can remember; since I was a baby in fact. My nickname when I was almost a year old was “The Fridgerator” after that football player… Yup, it started early!

This is just a small part of who I am and in later posts I’ll fill you in on some of my quirks and post some pictures!

Thanks for taking the time to read.

:)

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