Oh boy…

November 1st, 2011 by nicole08xox

So that last post “Horrible” was meant to be posted on October 28, 2011, sorry about that lovies!


So Today I’ve had a couple of salads, I’ve made the effort to down size my meals. But my soda intake is still far to high. So tomorrow  will be cutting out soda. Soda goooddddbye. I know this goal will be tough and I’ll wish I made it just one cup a day. But if I make it one cup a day then it’ll go to two and so on and so forth.

Last night we went trick or treating, I had a decent amount of candy, not to much at all which I’m proud to say. Then I wanted my husband to eat bc i knew he didnt feel good (although I should have just made him something at home) we went to Mcdonalds. Well while at Mcdonalds I made the concious choice to have a salad instead of a meal with fries and all those gross things. Again today I ate a smaller (unfortunatly fast food) meal then I normally would my excuse is I had no time to run to super market to get mayo for sandwich meat I have at home. I know shoot me!!! But I had a smaller meal, a large drink and a salad again. Tonight I had a salad for dinner.

So the concious choices are there. Tomorrow I plan to go to the chiropractor then start on my new Yoga idea.

See where that takes me. I am hoping until I can afford a real gym I can strengthen myself with this and some aerobic cardio…

Let’s see where this takes me.

Goodbye and Goodnight dears!


November 1st, 2011 by nicole08xox

I ate an extremely high calorie diet for dinner tonight. Shoot me.

I want to not have cravings or want the bad foods that are cheaper and easier to access then the healthy foods. I want to want the healthy foods and not the bad ones.

To start with I am refusing to grab a evening snack while at work and am searching the world wide web for anything not including food. I’m reading up on articles on weight loss and about anything and everything without any mention of food. I really want to lose the weight but with a lack of a gym or exercise equipment I find myself making excuses. Well it can wait until I have a gym membership or I hold off on eating and then become extremely hungry. I’m not getting anywheres today.

I also know that even though I dont have a gym membership I can still eat healthy

UGH! Why is dieting so much harder then it has to be?

why wait for the new year?

October 25th, 2011 by nicole08xox

So my name is Nicole, I’m 21 years old and I have a ten month old daughter. I’ve been married since Feb of 2011 and things in my life seem to be story book wonderful, in most ways. My main reason for being unhappy is the uncontrollable weight gain I’ve endoured since I turned 15. For six years I’ve put on weight and lost some and then would gain it back and so on and so fort

I’m here to say it’s going to stop. I’m on a mission. I was sometimes embarrassed about my parents being over weight and I know once their weight gain progressed they became less active with me and more mentally unhappy with themselves. I refuse to provide that atmosphere for my child.

Gaining weight is like an abusive relationship ( do not take offense this is mearly an example) you love food so much, but what it is doing to your body is unfair, unhealthy and putting you at risk ,possibly even death. I’m here to kick weights ass and show it who’s boss. I would never let a man shove me around, why should food do so?

I’m starting my journey at 306lbs and 6ft 1 inches. I am not pregnant and although we are planning to try to start conceiving for our second child soon I want to start now anyways. Get a good meal plan going before I introduce another wonder into my world. I eat. I have lack of energy and was severly post partum after my daughter was born. I went through severe depression and instead of relying on my medication to make me happy I cut it off and am trying to work my anger and depression out instead of in food h.

or some other way.

I do not have a gym membership but by this time next week I will. I am trying to be more energetic and make less excuses. Watch less tv and eat better. I am still giving a fair amount of time to this process even prior to being able to work it out.

in this first week I will be eating healthier and eating less more frequent meals. And hopefully can curve my appetite by the time I start a wonderful new gym asap.


I hope you have a lovely evening and will post again tomorrow. I do do this however from a computer I only have access to 5 days a week so I will post tomorrow and be off until monday, unless I can weasel a friend into letting me borrow one. I’m hoping to use this as a great support system and any loved ones i get out of this are a great add on.