this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint. this is a marathon, not a sprint.
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i have always heard the road to hell is paved with good intentions. well i am sure the way to the fat girl store is paved with the same material. fat girl store is what i called the store where i used to buy my clothes in the large sizes. i say “used to” because i refuse to ever shop there again. i have lost from my high but am far from where i would like to be. aaaaaaaaaaaaany way……. apparently i have the attention span of a tsetse fly because i cannot even get through a single day and write down all that i put into my face. wth? i was good, it wasn’t that. but i couldn’t bring myself to do that for me….. with any demands on me at all, fair treatment of me goes directly out the window. i suppose that is lesson 1. note to self…. you count.
today i am going to write down everything that i eat, an endeavor that has always seemed useless to me in the past but all the gurus say to do it, so here goes. i have found a few hidden carbs in the things i usually eat daily. for instance……..my multi-vitamin has 3 carbs!! ok, its a gummy so i should have expected it but that is a large chunk of my 20 carb budget for something that gives me no oral satisfaction!! ok so i am left with 17 carbs today. my coffee is 5 carbs and my bacon breakfast was 0, im down to 12 left for entire day and its only 10 am!!
for lunch i am eating a sandwich on healthy life bread soooooo thats 5 carbs per slice, leaving me 2 carbs for the day…….. wow. i have no idea how this day is going to turn out but i intend to write it all down here and account for every gram!! on this sandwich was deli chicken, 4 slices hard salami, slice of cheddar cheese, 2 slices tomato (around 1 carb or so), lots of mayo, mustard and salt. on a lcl i have to add salt or i get leg cramps. now i am at 19 carbs. leaving me 1 carb for the rest of the day. good thing i have fats to keep me company!!
i do feel i am going to need the keto strips. i need to know the number at which i slip out of ketosis.
dinner is going to be difficult……
ok, so i am excited, this is just the beginning so that is no surprise. last night i boiled my eggs, stacked my water with the days of the week on it, made my celery stuffing (cream cheese with olives), all ready for me to grab quickly and hopefully make it easy for me to maintain without alot of effort. thats my goal, to make this as easy as possible.
last night i ate steak and fake potatoes for dinner. you know what i am talking about…. the cauliflower smashed with butter, cheese, real bacon bits, and sour cream and of course s/p, it was pretty delicious if i do say so myself. this morning i have had bacon, that’s it, just bacon. for me, it seems that in the beginning i do well to have a high fat intake. i have the atkins audio book and it said that in the induction phase its the relationship between fats and carbs that make the difference, not carbs to protein, i had not remembered that from years ago. although i am living a lcl, i wouldnt say what i am doing is atkins. i am reluctant to call my lcl atkins because i am sure i will do things that dont meet the plan standards and i dont want to tarnish that plan with my diet ideas. i use the atkins plan as more of a guideline and information source and thats it.
well, since i literally cannot weigh myself without throwing myself into a tailspin, i will just have to use my clothes and photos as a guideline. as i write this, i realize that i am not even comfortable with posting current photos until i no longer look like the photo, until i have made some sort of progress. seems like i am being untruthful with you and with myself. i do think that just taking the photo and taking a good look at it is all the therapy i can take at this point. i hover around the 200 mark and am sure that i am somewhere around that number now. there are a couple of pieces of clothing that i would love to wear again and i will use those as inspiration, motivation, and measurement. along with the photos that i am too chicken to share.
so with a bottle and 1/2 of water down, i get my day started and talk to you later………. have a great day!!
This journey will not just be about a number on the scale but about what I see in the mirror and my reaction to it. This statement forewarns that maybe there is more work to be done other than weight loss. I guess I will address these issues as they come up.
Making this private journey public is so scary for me. After all, telling your business invites others to judge you and the judgment of others is probably on the list of items that I need to address. But caution to the wind, I want change and I truly think this will help me. So climb on board, it’s bound to be an interesting and bumpy ride with many, many twists and turns.
I have no idea how long this journey will last. I just know that every day without action is a lost opportunity, and that thought begs the question, “if not now, when?”