The quest for happy imperfection…

So, I didn’t really want to weigh in this morning. Just had a bad feeling about the whole thing. But, I stepped on, and…. lost another half pound. What? How in the world have I lost another half a pound? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not complaining! But, wow. Somehow, I have managed to lose 4.5 pounds since Monday morning. Which is really pretty unreal. But I guess it’s just proof that my body REALLY does NOT want to be this size, and isn’t supposed to be.

Oddly enough, the whole thing has made me almost superstitious. “Well, if I’m losing this quickly with just walking a day and not going to the gym, maybe I shouldn’t go to the gym” “Maybe I should have a cold all the time!” “I must eat the same exact foods everyday for the rest of my life!” Obviously, I don’t really ascribe to these, but let’s face it- weight loss efforts AND weight loss can do some screwy things to our heads!

So today was pretty good- it certainly started off on a good note Drank all my water (and have been peeing enough to prove it!) Things got a little screwy at lunch though. Decided to eat out with the hubs, picked a restaurant we hadn’t been to yet but had a good menu and sits right on the lake. Looked at the menu beforehand and decided on some Thai chicken lettuce wraps. Yum! Except that, we got there and the service was super slow (think, crickets) and just didn’t have the time. So, we had to make a last minute decision- and went for Chinese. But, I had the broccoli beef and just a little bit of my fried rice. I still have tons of lefotvers. Score! Fell victim to a chocolate chip cookie during our afternoon meeting, but I let myself have it because I’d been craving something sweet all afternoon.

Made it home, changed clothes, and headed to the gym. Cranked out 45 on the elli, couldn’t manage any weights because I couldn’t decide on upper or lower body. Came hoem to my crockpot soup. I mean- mush. I added too much rice, and let it cook too long, so it turned to, well, mush. Tried some anyway. Ehh, yeah. Ended up hungry later (wonder why!) so I made an egg sandwich with light cheese on light wheat bread. Admittedly, I’m still a bit hungry. But I’m at my calorie limit for the day so, there.

Well, I’m off for more crappy reality tv with the hubs (didn’t stick to the 2 hour rule tonight….) Let’s jsut hope we can keep up the momentum! (and that I’m not too scared to weigh in tomorrow- the good luck has got to end sometime!) 

So, I’m not 100%, but I’ve crawled out of the hole. I’m feeling better, and today was a pretty good success. Ate well within my calories, even though I had to do a last minute switch (had Subway for dinner after I forgot to add the rice to my crockpot soup) I was even good- I wanted a hot pastrami or an Italian BMT, but had a roast beef with sweet onion dressing- very good, I might add.

Got in all 8 glasses of water plus some extra, walked Lucy for 45 minutes at lunch, and there’s no way I’d be able to watch 2 hours of TV tonight if I wanted to.

Tonight’s youth group went much better than last week’s. Hallelujah! (Last week had a couple near fights, a few kids that showed up drunk… all that fun stuff) So on that note, I’m going to spend a nice evening with the hubs before bed! Keep going ladies- you’re all rocking this!

So yesterday was a no good, rotten, very bad day. Remember that hole I wanted to crawl into? Well, I did it.  I was home sick and feeling pretty crappy. So, needless to say, I didn’t get my exercise in. And I watched more than 2 hours of TV, which was really more like staring at it with the glazed over eyes of a head cold coma. But, I did get in my 8 glasses of water (getting up to pee was probsbly the only thing that kept me from simply sleeping until the end of time) and I ate under my calories. (Too much sleeping leaves little time for eating)

So anyway, I weighed in at 210 yesterday, a loss of three pounds from the day before. I attributed this to weighing in later in the day (10 am instead of 7), but on a still completely empty stomach and bladder.

Today, I weighed in at 209.5. Huh? Who knew sleeping lead to weight loss?! But, I’m certainly not complaining!

Today was both good and not good. I ate well, and kind of exercised. Failed miserably on my TV goal, and didn’t get in any strength training. In all fairness, I actually had to come home early because I was feeling so gosh darned crappy. And, I haven’t really watched much TV- it’s been on in the background while I was realtively comatose on the couch.

Breakfast was peanut butter toast, some milk, and a yogurt.

I snacked on some veggies and ranch and a handful of blackberries. I’m actually really proud of this. Yesterday I made a bold move at Costco and bought a bag of sweet mini peppers. I don’t like peppers. Well, to be correct, in my head, I don’t like peppers. They taste just fine.  So, I got them, and ate them. It’s hard, because even though I enjoy the tatse something in my head is going “ACK! Spit it out!!” But, I ate them and broadened my horizons. Woot! Same thing with the blackberries. In my head I don’t like them. In real life, the seeds drive me nuts. But, one of my coworkers told me to just not bite down when you chew and they won’t be a problem. It’s a bit odd- I do feel like I’m gumming my food- but they taste good and I get around the seeds.

Lunch was alright. I made a roasted garlic and cauliflower soup (after having some that was DELISH) but my version was pretty meh. Also had a baked potato with broccoli and light sour cream, a side salad, and some melon.

For dinner, I had some roast chicken and veggies. Luckily, I had thought to crockpot both. The chicken was AMAZING! and super easy. The veggies- eh. Just wasn’t feeling them tonight so I had another baked potato

Also had my standard mini nilla wafers and some milk for dessert.

Actually wish I could have gone to the gym tonight. But, as it is, I just want to find a warm hole to crawl into and die. Here’s hoping tomorrow feels better…

Well, I was hoping to get back on track last week but my brother in law came into town and well… we ate out every single meal for an entire week. I can’t even explain how disgusting that is. Though, in some ways, it was actually really good for my weightloss efforts. How is that when I’m now bulging out of my pants? I have no desire to eat out. In fact, I’ve been craving lean protein and veggies for a couple days now. And, it’s really shown me that I don’t truly enjoy “bad” foods as much as I think I do.

But, now that that crap is out of the way, I’m ready to get this thing going. Admittedly, I still don’t feel particularly motivated.  I’m actually fighting a gnarly cold and generally feeling pretty crappy. But, I’m just going to do it. If I don’t do it now, I never will, so here goes! I’m starting a new challenge with the sister tomorrow, and throwing in some personal goals as well.

For the challenge with the sister, I will do the following for 21 days with 2 pauses: Track my calories, drink 64 oz of water daily, and exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes (except for Wednesdays for me and Tuesdays for her).  And, for 50 days, NO FAST FOOD! That’s right. No more heart attack in a sack.

And for my own personal satisfaction: I’m going to start walking Lucy at lunch everyday for half an hour (which I need to do for her just as much as I need to do for myself), and I’m cutting back on the TV- no more than 2 hours a day unless I’m exercising while I watch.  I’m also adding in a minimum of 15 minutes of strength training a day as well. I’m sure more will be added to this later…

Well, I’d love to write more, but I spent 2+ hours prepping, chopping, cooking, etc. and I am BEAT! But, thank you, lovely ladies for all your support and encouragement to get my (big) butt back here!

Well, the toothless guy from the gym and I ran off to Bali where I promptly gained weight to fit the village’s goddess ideal.

Or, I got sloppy and the pounds climbed back on. I’m weighing in at 212 now. Eek. But, enough is enough.  I haven’t felt like working out. Or dieting, or even losing weight. I’ve really just been very apathetic towards the whole situation. Still am, actually. So, I’m going at it old school Nike style- Just Do It. If I wait until I feel like doing this, I won’t. Or until I’m less busy- I won’t be. Or until the stars align perfectly and rainbows come out of my ears… you get the picture. There is always going to be something in the way, even if it is just me. So, I’m just going to keep going. I hope that at some point I’ll feel excited about it, or desire to be healthy. But for now, I’m just going to drag my psyche along for the ride.

Don’t have time for details now- but I’ll write later. And thanks for all the encouragement!