The quest for happy imperfection…

That was a doozy. So today was pretty out of hand at the end.  But let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

I forgot to weigh in, didn’t get my water in, totally forgot my vitamins, but I got over my fear of applesauce. Applesauce? Yes, applesauce. I had braces and oral surgery as a kid, and so I’ve been relatively scarred by applesauce, jello, etc. But, this morning I tried something new- unsweetened applesauce, cinnamon, plain yogurt, and just a smidgen of granola. Yums!

Lunch, not so good. I went out with a coworker and had fish and chips at one of the best places ever.  It’s right on the Lake, and their fish and chips are divine. So, I didn’t feel bad about having them. Until after I finished them. I just didn’t feel as good as when I eat right. They were tasty, but not truly satisfied. Le sigh.

That’s where things got interesting. JCAHO is coming to do a survey of our hospital (accreditation). They were supposed to come next year, probably the beginning due to the number of sentinel events we’ve had. (read: not so good things, mishaps, etc.) Well now they’re thinking that they’re coming even sooner, perhaps any time. So now the pressure is on. We’ve been backed up in clerical with LOADS of paperwork. Now they want everything done immediately. Without extra help, without overtime, and without falling behind in any of my other duties. Specifically, I need to catch up the insurmountable amount of filing before I leave on Friday. And it needs to be caught up at the end of the day every single Friday. Despite the fact that I have to scan everything before it gets filed, and I don’t always get the documentation on time. So, stress galore!

On to youth group. Got home at 5:10, DH got home 5 mins later. Had to gulp down some chili and head out by 5:30 (really didn’t eat) Junior high was a mess. Sidebar conversations, ridiculous lack of attention, etc. Highschool- wow. No words. Almost. We talked about David and Bathsheba and temptation (lots of diet application! Not being where you’re supposed to be, allowing yourself to linger, justifying, trying to cover up and making it worse, etc.) Everyone was interactive, open, paying attention, and seeming to get a lot out of it all. Then at the end of the lesson- insanity. (For those unfamiliar with the story, David sleeps with a married woman, gets her pregnant, and has her husband killed to cover it all up) Out of this discussion of murder comes the discussion of abortion. Gulp. Alright, we roll with it. And I am shocked. We have a group of kids that come from very rough backgrounds, and we have the most respectful, articulate teenagers I have ever encountered. Our philosophy has always been to give them the background and teach them how to think, not what to think. I was thoroughly impressed with the responses that came out of them- more thought out and better spoken than most adults I know, with plenty of real world and Biblical support on either side. Score. Then, the conversation drifts. This time to homosexuality. What?! Come on now, how many issues do we have to tackle in one night?! But, I am so, so proud of them. I’m just overjoyed that our kids are thinking critically, Biblically, and expressing their thoughts so eloquently. We had people from every side, and all of them were so respectful and compassionate. It makes me feel like out of all the things that go wrong, something somewhere is going right.

But, I’m exhausted physically (getting Lucy Dearest into her bath last night was WWE Smackdown with 60+ pounds of dead weight, we’re going to call that a workout) and emotionally. I hate my job, but I LOVE my kids. I love that I’m loving applesauce and yogurt, I love that I wasn’t satisfied with fish and chips. I love that I feel like I’m finally behind the wheel again.