Can’t a girl just overeat in peace? April 9, 2008
***Warning*** Long rant ahead. Only partially weightloss related. Enter at your own risk!
Not a good day. I just got done with youth group. (DH and I volunteer at a local church) Excuse me for being blasphemous, but is it wrong that after it was over tonight I just wanted a stiff drink? Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. Heck, I wouldn’t be there if I didn’t. That’s the beauty of being a volunteer. But I had a kid lie to my face and disrespect me ALL FRIGGIN NIGHT LONG. Every time I asked him to do something (the same rules we ask everyone else to abide by) he’d laugh in my face and continue doing whatever it is he wasn’t supposed to be doing. Great, thanks. The selfish, mean, and wrong part of me wants to be a brat and tell him : Hey, I’m giving up my night off, one of very few that I get with my husband, to be here. I’m not getting paid. Heck, if anything, I’m losing money because the youth group has no budget and so all of the game stuff and goodies comes out of my own pocket. I’m not here for my health, or because I’m going to get a medal for it. I’m here because I care about you and the things that you go through. I AM NOT HERE TO BE TREATED LIKE CRAP! If I wanted that, I’d go spend more time at my job, atleast they pay me! If you can’t appreciate what we’re doing, or at the very least, show us respect, GO HOME. I have enough worthwhile crap to deal with. Like, what do I say to the girl whose sister just got raped, and now she’s constantly afraid? Or the kid whose dad gets drunk and beligerent every night? Or the kid whose sister owes money to some not nice people and the answering machine is full of threatening messages? What do I do for the girl whose mother suffers from mental illness and routinely snaps? Or the kid whose family can barely afford groceries, let alone utilities? I have every single one of these issues to deal with and then some. I simply don’t have the energy or patience to put up with you loudmouthing me for the fun of it. I’m just tired. I’m drained. And damnit, I want a milkshake. And some fries. And a fat burger. Then wash all that down with some nachos.. and, well, I think you can see where the rest of this is going. I feel helpless. Helpless to help my kids. Helpless to keep my hand out of my mouth. Helpless to lose weight. Quite frankly, I am having one of those pessimistic moments where nothing is right and nothing will ever be right. Right now, in this moment, life sucks. Now I’m having to make the decision that, for the first time ever, I’m going to have to ask a kid not to come back next week. (not permanantly, just a week off) I can’t take it anymore, and I’m not far from snapping at him. Which makes me feel even worse. And then I feel truly awful for secretly hoping he never comes back. Very Christian-like of me, huh? Yep, I am a model of grace and forgiveness. Yes, bring your teenagers so that I can teach them all of the wonderful Christ-like teachings that I am completely unable to practice in my own life. Ahh yes. Anyone for another milkshake? I’ll take two.
*sorry for the long rant!
I don’t think your comments are selfish, it sounds like what he needs to hear. Assuming he’s generally a good kid but just a snot he might respond. I teach middle school and right or wrong I have found that a good dose of shame can work in the right situation. Last year I had kids complaining about having to complete a walking project for PE to raise money. This was about 2 months after my baby was diagnosed with a terminal illness that includes the fact that he will never walk. As the kids were bitching about having to walk during PE (they’re so mistreated, aren’t they) I just mentioned that I would gladly let them trade spots with my son. That was the last of the complaining about walking. A couple of kids even apologized.
It sounds like you truly have these kids’ best interests at heart so like I said, if this kid is generally good he might respond to your honest feelings. You obviously can’t share details about what the other kids are going through but in a general way you can make him realize that other people have much bigger problems and his rude behavior is not only inappropriate but selfish and immature. But if he doesn’t get it, don’t feel bad about cutting him loose. You’re not condemning him as a person, you’re sending the message that certain behaviors are not appropriate. If/when his behavior improves you can welcome him back with open arms. If he learns that lesson you will have done him and everyone he comes in contact with a huge favor.
Sorry for the long comment, I just wish more people took the time to hold kids up to high expectations. I think that most kids are good at heart but they are allowed to behave like animals. If we as adults raise the bar I think we would be amazed to see how many would aspire to meet the challenge.
BREATH. your thoughts are normal. don’t feel bad or regret them. ask God for the patience it takes to deal with teenagers. ask Him to take some of the burden. take it one minute at a time. try to enjoy it; it is an hour you can’t get back. good luck.
-k
hey — we miss you over here! hope everything’s going ok…
-k
Hi, how is it going? I’m getting back on track and checking in on old friends…
All rants allowed. Sounds more like plain frustration to me. I get like that when I see some drunk coming in that has cause a MVA and they don’t have a scratch on them, but some poor family has lost an innocent because of it.
So rant away hun, you’ve earned it.