It’s worse than I thought.. March 1, 2008
So you know how I went up to a DD? I was wrong. Sadly, very wrong. My sis needed new bras, so when I was visiting her last weekend, we went to Frederick’s of Hollywood. She ended up an F. For SaG I tried it on…. it doesn’t fit! I’M A G!!! What?!?! Is that ‘G’ for ginormous? Gigantic? Gosh diggy damn those things are huge?! I just don’t get it! I’m a size 12ish, don’t gain or carry weight in my boobs normally… and I’ve got a porn star rack. Great. Just great. DH, naturally, isn’t upset about this at all. He thinks G stands for great. (In case you were wondering, he says the couch is very comfortable.)
Admittedly, morale has been very low in this camp. I’m back up to 190. Gah!! But, I’m pretty sure it’s my own fault. Okay, it is my own fault. Diet has been fair to middling (though I did enjoy every single one of the 5 pina coladas I had the other night. Yeah, seriously. Five.) Exercise has been nonexistant. The enemy is looking more than formidable. However, I refuse to accept defeat. It’s time for a new battle strategy. First of all.. what went wrong?
1. Poor communication in the field. It seems that failing to blog and failing to log (my food, that is) have lead to a complete and total failure to direct the troops (my hands, piling food into my mouth).
2. Improper weaponry. Of all the things I’ve lost… I really can’t believe that I lost my sense of humor. (In case you were wondering, recon found it underneath the couch, dusty but hardly damaged) I seem to have temporarily lost my ability to laugh at myself and my own absurdity. Must replenish ammo supply. Perhaps a macarena revival? Or, maybe I can join in on DH’s thriller dance practice? (Side story: I came home the other day to find something quite odd… my 31 year old husband drenched in sweat while trying to learn the full dance to Thriller. Seriously. Apparently, he’s doing it as part of the opener to the talent show for the junior high camp he’s working at this weekend)
3. Inadequate supplies. My trips to the grocery store have been infrequent and poorly planned. Frequently, I’ve been stationed at the front lines without proper vittles. Or something to the effect of me letting myself get hungry enough to chew off my own arm. I’m really going to miss that arm too.
4. Poor movement in the field. And by movement, I mean that my walk from the couch to the kitchen does not count as exercise. And, even with the vigorous cleaning rush that has occurred lately… yeah, not enough.
And so, there you have it. The reasons I suck. Okay, maybe just the reasons why I didn’t lose any weight in the month of February. Oops. But, March is a new month. And, if at firs, I don’t succeed, the month of March happens to have 31 brand new days to start over if need be. However, we are hoping that’s not the case.
In other news, the next door neighbor’s dog is mean. She’s also made a hobby of jumping our fence every chance she gets. Her name also happens to be Sierra. So, when I came out into the backyard the other night at the tail end of a mini dog fight and yelled “Sierra, come!” I realized that the other owner was also yelling “Sierra, come!” and neither one of us received our desired result. So, because of that, and the fact that she really didn’t come to the name Sierra as much as would be desired, our darling has been renamed Lucy.
Other than that, life is peachy.
