Welcome to my bat cave February 5, 2008
So, here I am. Chilling in my bat cave. No, I don’t have any stalagmites, or bats for that matter. But, I do have the creepy wet walls. Yep, we’re taking on water. It started in the kitchen. I woke up this morning to find my entire counter wet. Which was, naturally confusing to me, considering that the sink was off, the counter is indoors, and we haven’t had any monsoons lately. Then I looked up. Aha. Water is seeping in through my wall, dripping down through my kitchen cabinets and defiling my countertop. Suck. So I called the landlord this morning, and we’re waiting for someone to come out. In the meantime, I’m practicing my Count Chocula impression. UPDATE: We now have a leak above the fireplace as well. Transformation into the batcave is speeding up. Tomorrow I’ll be chilling with my trained bat minions.
So I weighed in again this morning, and it seems like 187.5 was only a pipedream. I’m at 189.5 Could be worse. I’m not upset by it, because I accept it as a reasonable fluctuation. But, it does play into my mental feeling of not losing weight.
Today wasn’t too bad. I started using mydailyplate again. I feel like my eating has gotten sporadic, and no longer intentional. Not the way I want to go. I think that not tracking my foods is also adding to my mental mini panic attacks about my weightloss. So, back to tracking!
I didn’t get in much exercise today either. I’m feeling especially unmotivated lately. I got in a 20 minute walk with Sierra at lunch but couldn’t get myself to the gym tonight. I need to work harder at that. I’m supposed to be running a 5k at the end of March, and so training needs to be happening like now. The couch to 5k workout technically takes 9 weeks, and I only have 8, which means I’m already cutting it kind of close. Luckily, I can already complete the 2nd week workouts, so I’m not totally going to kill myself.
Today I’m really suffering from a lack of motivation. I don’t feel like eating right, and I definitely don’t want to exercise. For whatever reason, I feel like none of it will matter anyway. Which is pretty stupid. I’ve lost 7 pounds. What I’m doing is working. But, I just can’t seem to fight the mental pudge thats bringing me down right now. It’s just immensely frustrating. Even as I’m succeeding, I feel like a failure. Which I guess just goes to show that I REALLY need to work on my attitude. I haven’t been taking the time for my baths lately, or really any time for myself. That’s probably part of it. But, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the physical, and very little, if any, on the mental and emotional. I’ll think over a gameplan tonight in the bath, and will report back.
Breakfast: Yogurt. Need more protein, substance, and fiber.
Morning snack: part of a snickerdoodle. Not even a good one. It was pretty stale and had to be microwaved before it was even edible. Yeah, desperate times. Had a very tasty Bartlett pear before lunch. It was organic, and though I don’t necessarily buy into the whole organic movement, I will say that the taste and texture is far superior to regular pears.
Lunch: bean and cheese quesadilla, an eensy bit of salad, and peanutbutter crackers.
Afternoon snack: some carrot sticks and ranch made from lowfat sourcream. This was actually my favorite food item of the day. The crunch and contrast between sweet and salty was perfect. Loved it.
Dinner: Had a bag of 100 calorie popcorn while waiting for dinner to cook. I was too scared to use my oven/stove, due to the batcave phenomenon. I’m not always exceptionally bright, but I do know that electronics and water don’t mix. So, I didn’t have a meatless dinner. I had two reduced fat hebrew nationals in one whole wheat bun, and some seasoned fries.
Total Calories: 1368 (goal is 1528)
Distance: 1 measly mile.
