The quest for happy imperfection…

Today was relatively blah. So, I’m reminding myself, and confessing to you guys, the stakes. At the end of last year, my mom made a proposition. If she, my sister, and I, could lose a collective 60 pounds, there would be a reward. That reward is a 7 day Mexican cruise, paid for by the madre. So, basically, if we can each lose 20 pounds before May 8th, we’ll be cruisin’ USA… er, Mexico.

So now I have double incentive. I want to lose weight so that I can go on a cruise. I also want to lose weight so that I can enjoy my cruise without having to wear a muumuu or other large piece of fabric in order to respect the other cruise guests. I’m dying to go to Mexico. Especially because it’s snowy and cold here. Laying in the sun, in my bikini that I actually look good in, looking out over the ocean while sipping a tropical drink… excuse me as I wipe the drool off my keyboard.

I figure that in order to be truly happy figure-wise, I need to lose about 6 pounds a month until the cruise. So far, we’re right on target.

Food was pretty good today. For breakfast I had a small scramble that I whipped up the other night. It had potatoes, eggs, and a little bit of sweet onion. I put a bit of ketchup on it as well. It was really good and satisfying. I enjoyed the subtle sweet spicy of the onion, the chewy texture of the potato, and the saltiness of the ketchup. I also had a banana, which was perfectly ripe. Yellow with some green on the tips. It was firm, sweet, but not too sweet. I snacked on some string cheese, which was very satisfying as well. I took a cue from the lovely round, and made sure to really enjoy it. It tasted creamy, and I loved getting to pull it apart into super thin little strings. Lunch was really good. Like, surprisingly good. I stopped by the hospital cafe and had green bean almondine, chicken dijon and mashed potatoes. The chicken was fabulous, it was lemony and mustardy, nice and tangy. It was cooked really nicely, very juicy, and there was just enough sauce to make it really tasty, without being overpowering. The green beans were great, steamed just enough to still be crispy, and the almonds added a chewy crunch. The mashed potatoes were good, lumpy, real, with skins still on. Creamy, salty, and just a little buttery. I made sure to leave some of them on my plate, though I’m sure I could have eaten them all. 

In the afternoon, I fell victim to the banana bread that was in the kitchen. But, I knew that if I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t eat it. Well, I loved it. It was moist, perfectly spiced, and tasted just like real, hearty banana. So I had a 1/4 of an inch slice and savored every bite.  When I got home, things got a bit shaky. We were trying to sort out what to eat for dinner and blah blah. So I had a pack of peanut butter crackers. I finally made dinner, and I had a wrap sandwich with trukey, light ranch, lettuce, center cut bacon, and some garlic jack cheese. Now, that was tasty. The ranch and garlic jack together were perfect, with some light spice and a nice deep flavor that perfectly complimented the crisp bacon and cool turkey. Afterwards, I tried my new 100 calorie dessert bars. I tried the NutterButter bar. Took one bite and evaluated. Cardboardy, unpleasantly chewy texture, mild peanut butter. Threw it in the trash. Tried the Oreo bar. Harsh, chemical, stiff, bland and yet awfully flavored. Threw it in the trash. Tried the Chips Ahoy bar. Gah! Ew! Spit! Threw it away as well.  Now, a month or so ago, I would have just eaten the first bar because, hey, 100 calories! But now, I’m unwilling to waste even 100 calories on food that doesn’t please me. I did grab a 100 calorie pack of Ritz mix. I love how some of the crackers are crumbly, the pretzels are crunchy, the cheese crackers are cheesy,a nd the chexy things are extra salty. I also grabbed one more pack of the peanut butter on those orange crackers. Yeah, I don’t have an excuse for that.

So I’ll close with some inspiration. The bikini, not the model. The ribby look doesn’t suit me and my boobs will ALWAYS be bigger than that. But, I like the bikini. Someday, I could look real good in that. Mhmm, yes I could. Hey, I have the hair already.