The quest for happy imperfection…

…is really nothing. I’m still losing weight- but I’m noticing a truly bizarre pattern.  Okay, so I have lost weight every day this week except for Friday (up .5 pounds from the day before) and Sunday (today- up 1 pound from the day before). Now, weight fluctuates. I know that. But here’s what’s strange- Thursday I went to the gym and Saturday I walked Lucy for a little over an hour. Every other day this week, I walked Lucy for 30 minutes, or not at all. I even ate out at Chevy’s (without much portion control) on Friday night.

So now I’m wondering if going to the gym or doing a “thorough” workout is impeding, rather than helping, my weightloss at this point. I’ve NEVER lost weight this quickly (tomorrow morning will be my official loss for the week- right now I’m at 5 pounds in 6 days) and I’ve never not worked out pretty hard, or atleast pretty thoroughly, as part of my weightloss effort. So, I’m wondering if I should just take it easy until my weightloss stalls, or if I should start going back to the gym and hitting it like normal, because it is a habit I’m going to need later on anyway? Anyone? Input is always welcome- I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do.

But, things are going well. Took Lucy for a nice long walk yesterday and really enjoyed it. I wish I could do that every day, but in our hippy dippy enjoy-the-stars-without-streetlights mountain ambiance, it just isn’t possible when I get home from work. It’s still light for awhile now when I’m home, but the coyotes have been especially active lately and I’m just not interested in playing that game.

Tonight I did a bunch of cooking- made asian chicken lettuce wraps, crab rangoons, and Philly rolls for lunches this week. I think I’m going to have omelettes the next 2 nights, have pulld BBQ chicken sandwiches on Wed, and some salmon on Thursday. Sticking with the PB toast and milk for breakfasts this week since it worked so well last week, and was so much easier than my usual.

Anyways, I’m exhausted! (Though I’m finally close to kicking this stupid cold!) So I’m off to bed!

So, I didn’t really want to weigh in this morning. Just had a bad feeling about the whole thing. But, I stepped on, and…. lost another half pound. What? How in the world have I lost another half a pound? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not complaining! But, wow. Somehow, I have managed to lose 4.5 pounds since Monday morning. Which is really pretty unreal. But I guess it’s just proof that my body REALLY does NOT want to be this size, and isn’t supposed to be.

Oddly enough, the whole thing has made me almost superstitious. “Well, if I’m losing this quickly with just walking a day and not going to the gym, maybe I shouldn’t go to the gym” “Maybe I should have a cold all the time!” “I must eat the same exact foods everyday for the rest of my life!” Obviously, I don’t really ascribe to these, but let’s face it- weight loss efforts AND weight loss can do some screwy things to our heads!

So today was pretty good- it certainly started off on a good note Drank all my water (and have been peeing enough to prove it!) Things got a little screwy at lunch though. Decided to eat out with the hubs, picked a restaurant we hadn’t been to yet but had a good menu and sits right on the lake. Looked at the menu beforehand and decided on some Thai chicken lettuce wraps. Yum! Except that, we got there and the service was super slow (think, crickets) and just didn’t have the time. So, we had to make a last minute decision- and went for Chinese. But, I had the broccoli beef and just a little bit of my fried rice. I still have tons of lefotvers. Score! Fell victim to a chocolate chip cookie during our afternoon meeting, but I let myself have it because I’d been craving something sweet all afternoon.

Made it home, changed clothes, and headed to the gym. Cranked out 45 on the elli, couldn’t manage any weights because I couldn’t decide on upper or lower body. Came hoem to my crockpot soup. I mean- mush. I added too much rice, and let it cook too long, so it turned to, well, mush. Tried some anyway. Ehh, yeah. Ended up hungry later (wonder why!) so I made an egg sandwich with light cheese on light wheat bread. Admittedly, I’m still a bit hungry. But I’m at my calorie limit for the day so, there.

Well, I’m off for more crappy reality tv with the hubs (didn’t stick to the 2 hour rule tonight….) Let’s jsut hope we can keep up the momentum! (and that I’m not too scared to weigh in tomorrow- the good luck has got to end sometime!) 

So, I’m not 100%, but I’ve crawled out of the hole. I’m feeling better, and today was a pretty good success. Ate well within my calories, even though I had to do a last minute switch (had Subway for dinner after I forgot to add the rice to my crockpot soup) I was even good- I wanted a hot pastrami or an Italian BMT, but had a roast beef with sweet onion dressing- very good, I might add.

Got in all 8 glasses of water plus some extra, walked Lucy for 45 minutes at lunch, and there’s no way I’d be able to watch 2 hours of TV tonight if I wanted to.

Tonight’s youth group went much better than last week’s. Hallelujah! (Last week had a couple near fights, a few kids that showed up drunk… all that fun stuff) So on that note, I’m going to spend a nice evening with the hubs before bed! Keep going ladies- you’re all rocking this!

So yesterday was a no good, rotten, very bad day. Remember that hole I wanted to crawl into? Well, I did it.  I was home sick and feeling pretty crappy. So, needless to say, I didn’t get my exercise in. And I watched more than 2 hours of TV, which was really more like staring at it with the glazed over eyes of a head cold coma. But, I did get in my 8 glasses of water (getting up to pee was probsbly the only thing that kept me from simply sleeping until the end of time) and I ate under my calories. (Too much sleeping leaves little time for eating)

So anyway, I weighed in at 210 yesterday, a loss of three pounds from the day before. I attributed this to weighing in later in the day (10 am instead of 7), but on a still completely empty stomach and bladder.

Today, I weighed in at 209.5. Huh? Who knew sleeping lead to weight loss?! But, I’m certainly not complaining!

Today was both good and not good. I ate well, and kind of exercised. Failed miserably on my TV goal, and didn’t get in any strength training. In all fairness, I actually had to come home early because I was feeling so gosh darned crappy. And, I haven’t really watched much TV- it’s been on in the background while I was realtively comatose on the couch.

Breakfast was peanut butter toast, some milk, and a yogurt.

I snacked on some veggies and ranch and a handful of blackberries. I’m actually really proud of this. Yesterday I made a bold move at Costco and bought a bag of sweet mini peppers. I don’t like peppers. Well, to be correct, in my head, I don’t like peppers. They taste just fine.  So, I got them, and ate them. It’s hard, because even though I enjoy the tatse something in my head is going “ACK! Spit it out!!” But, I ate them and broadened my horizons. Woot! Same thing with the blackberries. In my head I don’t like them. In real life, the seeds drive me nuts. But, one of my coworkers told me to just not bite down when you chew and they won’t be a problem. It’s a bit odd- I do feel like I’m gumming my food- but they taste good and I get around the seeds.

Lunch was alright. I made a roasted garlic and cauliflower soup (after having some that was DELISH) but my version was pretty meh. Also had a baked potato with broccoli and light sour cream, a side salad, and some melon.

For dinner, I had some roast chicken and veggies. Luckily, I had thought to crockpot both. The chicken was AMAZING! and super easy. The veggies- eh. Just wasn’t feeling them tonight so I had another baked potato

Also had my standard mini nilla wafers and some milk for dessert.

Actually wish I could have gone to the gym tonight. But, as it is, I just want to find a warm hole to crawl into and die. Here’s hoping tomorrow feels better…

Well, I was hoping to get back on track last week but my brother in law came into town and well… we ate out every single meal for an entire week. I can’t even explain how disgusting that is. Though, in some ways, it was actually really good for my weightloss efforts. How is that when I’m now bulging out of my pants? I have no desire to eat out. In fact, I’ve been craving lean protein and veggies for a couple days now. And, it’s really shown me that I don’t truly enjoy “bad” foods as much as I think I do.

But, now that that crap is out of the way, I’m ready to get this thing going. Admittedly, I still don’t feel particularly motivated.  I’m actually fighting a gnarly cold and generally feeling pretty crappy. But, I’m just going to do it. If I don’t do it now, I never will, so here goes! I’m starting a new challenge with the sister tomorrow, and throwing in some personal goals as well.

For the challenge with the sister, I will do the following for 21 days with 2 pauses: Track my calories, drink 64 oz of water daily, and exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes (except for Wednesdays for me and Tuesdays for her).  And, for 50 days, NO FAST FOOD! That’s right. No more heart attack in a sack.

And for my own personal satisfaction: I’m going to start walking Lucy at lunch everyday for half an hour (which I need to do for her just as much as I need to do for myself), and I’m cutting back on the TV- no more than 2 hours a day unless I’m exercising while I watch.  I’m also adding in a minimum of 15 minutes of strength training a day as well. I’m sure more will be added to this later…

Well, I’d love to write more, but I spent 2+ hours prepping, chopping, cooking, etc. and I am BEAT! But, thank you, lovely ladies for all your support and encouragement to get my (big) butt back here!

Well, the toothless guy from the gym and I ran off to Bali where I promptly gained weight to fit the village’s goddess ideal.

Or, I got sloppy and the pounds climbed back on. I’m weighing in at 212 now. Eek. But, enough is enough.  I haven’t felt like working out. Or dieting, or even losing weight. I’ve really just been very apathetic towards the whole situation. Still am, actually. So, I’m going at it old school Nike style- Just Do It. If I wait until I feel like doing this, I won’t. Or until I’m less busy- I won’t be. Or until the stars align perfectly and rainbows come out of my ears… you get the picture. There is always going to be something in the way, even if it is just me. So, I’m just going to keep going. I hope that at some point I’ll feel excited about it, or desire to be healthy. But for now, I’m just going to drag my psyche along for the ride.

Don’t have time for details now- but I’ll write later. And thanks for all the encouragement!

because a totally creepy guy at the gym stared at me for like 10 full minutes. He even smiled with his missing tooth! Score!

I must say- I am completely and totally exhausted- but I feel great. I feel like I’m really beginning to enjoy my nightly gym and light dinner traditions, and I actually wished I could have stayed longer at the gym. Now that’s a first! Tonight I did 30 on the elli and my first every C25K workout. I was surprised that the workout was a lot easier than I expected- which is something coming from someone who hates running. But it still kicked my butt- I haven’t gotten that embarassingly sweaty in a while.  I also pumped out a decent weightlifting workout. It was HARD- it’s very odd, the last two nights I have struggled to get through my lifts. But, not because it hurt, or because I was sore, but because I just couldn’t seem to lift my legs and arms- and we’re talking about less than half the weight I normally lift. I just feel exhausted- but I know it’s the beginning of something good.

I made a casserole tonight too. I’m actually finding that my new method of attack will be to make a casserole on Sunday nights- dinner for Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and DH and I on Wednesdays. Much less work. And, they tend to be very filling. Tonight I made the Asparagus and Ham Casserole from Cooking Light. It was okay. I mean it tasted pretty good, and at 250 calories for a very filling serving, awesome. But, it tasted a lot like cream of chicken soup- but was more work than cream of chicken soup. But, had that with a salad and some broccoli for a pretty tasty dinner at 400 calories-ish. MUCH better than the frozen dinner I had for lunch  (why do I even try with those?)

So, hey, if I keep this up- I might even be attractive to guys who have all their teeth!

I am absolutely exhausted. Got in 50 mins on the elli and 15 minutes or so of lower body exercises. I now feel as if I’m unable to move. Not sore- just that full body heaviness and exhaustion that makes you want to melt into something. And, it feels good. I’m back at it.

I won’t post my weight from this morning… oohhh, it was bad. Up 3 pounds from Saturday (when I weighed fully clothed in the afternoon with a full belly). But, I had Chinese food last night, so my body is assuredly hanging on to sodium and MSG galore in a last ditch effort to trap me in fat pants.  Onwards and upwards!

Literally and figuratively. I’ve been off plan for 10 days and to say that I’m feeling pretty crappy would be an understatement. Originally, I was set to get things back together last Monday, but things took a rather crappy turn that evening. Let Lucy out into the backyard for her potty break when I got home from work. Almost immediately- horrible horrible noises. So I ran out there, and sure enough, Lucy was fighting with the neighbor dog through the fence. So I started screaming, and of course my neighbors were nowhere to be found, so I’m grabbing Lucy and this other stupid dog has her by the mouth. I started hitting her and hitting her, and she wouldn’t let go. Finally, I did the one thing that you’re never supposed to do- and stuck my hand in her mouth. Naturally, she bit down on my hand- hard- but let go of Lucy. I pulled Lucy inside and immmediately started washing out my hand- I had a couple relatively minor puncture wounds, and a whole lot of bruising. Then, I looked down and my kitchen looked like CSI. There was blood everywhere, and Lucy wasn’t letting me get close to her. Her entire front paw was red. Naturally, like any momma, I freaked out and called DH at work. Luckily, it turned out she only damaged her claw- she ripped off the top half and cut the quick. Ugh. But, by the time I got it all cleaned up, it was late, and my finger hurt like hell. Needless to say, a gym trip was out. And Tuesday night was spent doing all the cleaning I had planned on doing on both nights. Fam got here on Wed… and, well, the last few days have been nothing but food debauchery.

So, tomorrow is climbing back on. Three new 21 day challenges- 45 minutes cardio, 15 minutes strength, and 8 glasses of water daily. Two 50 day challenges- no fast food and daily tracking of calories.  Plus, I’m starting C25K Tuesday, and will be running my first race on March 22nd. Booyah.

But, because I have nothing positive to comment on fromt he last few days… I’ll close with that. Viva la REM cycle!